Four.

Even in Florida, retired Captain Ed Tucker caught wind of the news. It both filtered through the grapevine and was featured in local newspaper headlines.

New York City DA Acquitted

Manhattan Jury Spares Now-Former ADA

On the golf course and afterwards in the clubhouse, the former officers spouted off about the case. A handful criticized the jury and Barba's actions, but most either vociferously commended the decision or tacitly agreed by nodding their approvals. Though opinions were strong, the debate didn't last long. Ed breathed a sigh of relief when the conversation shifted to more comfortable topics like Major League Baseball spring training and who cashed in on skins and closest-to-the-pin contests.

He returned to the hotel early and, having had beers on the course and two bourbons after the round, had to take care not to stumble or sway. In the room he heaved himself onto the plush mattress. Hotel beds appealed to Ed. He liked the sanitized bleachy-scent of the crisp white sheets, the fluffy down comforter, and the long body pillows this particular chain offered. In his boozy, hazy, sun-drenched state, he let his thoughts wander to Olivia.

How is she handling Barba's Departure?

Who's taking over?

She's tough, but with Noah and Sheila…everyone has a breaking point.

As he wondered what would have happened if he hadn't stopped her desperate advances at his apartment, his midsection tingled with arousal. He had done the right thing, but that didn't lessen his desire for the woman with whom he could not manage to fall out of love. The dinner they'd shared before his trip only intensified the longing. It had taken him all of thirty seconds to notice her hands—the sexy red polish and the ring they'd purchased in Paris. Greeting her, he kissed that hand. He detected a shiver. She coyly smiled.

The date (and it was a date) began a bit awkwardly with neither one of them knowing exactly how quickly or how slowly to dive into serious conversation. Ed asked about Noah. Olivia told him the little boy was eager to play cards. But she didn't extend an invitation to come over, and Ed didn't press the issue. When the food arrived they freely sampled from each other's plates, they relaxed and fell into their old routine of sassy banter, and, for a while, they operated as if they were a couple again.

Nevertheless, on the way back to her building, Olivia set a brisk pace, clearly focused on getting home to keep a watchful eye on her son. She mumbled something about him sleeping in his own bed, and, by the time they reached her block, it was a foregone conclusion that Ed was not going to be asked upstairs. He kissed her cheek, said a sincere good bye, and, two days later, he was on an airplane to Florida.

"Whadda I have to lose?" He muttered as he half-rolled over to pluck his phone from the back pocket of his shorts. He debated between texting and calling, settled on calling, and waited impatiently for her to answer.

"Hey."

Ed smirked. She sounded good. Unhurried. Calm. And maybe a bit happy to hear his voice?

"Hi," he said, suddenly self-conscious about sounding intoxicated.

"How's the Sunshine State?"

"Good. And living up to its name."

"You may not want to come back too quickly," she said, "It's brutally cold here."

Ed's heart sank even though he knew she was only making a lighthearted comment. He wanted her to tell him to hurry back because she couldn't stand New York without him. "Saw it on the news. So I suppose it would be considered taunting to tell you I have a sunburn."

"Yes," Olivia said slowly and playfully, "Yes it would."

He imagined she was biting her lip—one of her little mannerisms he discovered very early on in their relationship. Next to her pure, unrestrained laughter, it was his favorite Olivia Benson expression. She bit that lip when she teased him. She bit it right before he kissed her for the first time, and, later, when she was in the mood for lively, playful sex.

"Sorry."

"Sure."

"Hey, uh, I also saw the news, about Barba, and was wonderin' how you're doin with all that?"

"We've been so busy…" Olivia trailed off, realizing this parrying maneuver wasn't going to fly with Ed. "It's hard," she admitted with a sigh. "I miss him…as a prosecutor and as a friend. You work with someone that long, you develop a synergy…and, with Stone, not only do I not know him, he's never worked SVU cases before so I'm starting at zero."

"Stone?"

"Yes."

"I thought he lived in Chicago?"

"McCoy brought him on."

"Must be nice to have those connections."

Olivia laughed. Ed had myriad connections but always downplayed them and liked to pretend otherwise. "Must be…"

"What else?"

"It's just been hard lately."

"Tough cases?"

"They always are," she said gloomily, "So there's that, then the fact I'm constantly worried about Noah, I can't sleep…then there was the whole thing with Brian—"

"—Cassidy?"

"Yes." The relentless media covered the trial and its aftermath, but the details about Cassidy absconding had been successfully kept under wraps. "When we…he…he showed up at my door in the middle of the night…he'd been to the doctors house…" Olivia swallowed hard. She hated having to admit to Ed she'd harbored her ex-boyfriend (and, briefly, a murder suspect) for two days. But she did. She told him the entire, honest truth, including the encounter on the street outside the restaurant. She expected Ed to mutter something derisive, but he only replied with a throaty, truly sympathetic damn.

"Even after everything he's done," Olivia continued, "I felt like he deserved my trust. A chance…I don't know…I don't know what I was thinking."

"Sounds like it was more you reacting."

"Perhaps. But I don't know why I felt that way. He almost cost me my son. To this day I can't figure out why in the world he thought it was a good idea to chat about that over after-work drinks. Maybe I was just surprised he had the balls to ask for my help…"

Ed adjusted the pillows so he was more upright. He listened to her vent for another few minutes and was so quiet Olivia eventually paused and asked him if he was still there.

"Yeah, yeah."

"I guess…you didn't call to hear this, huh?"

"I did," he replied softly, "I called to hear you."

Olivia's jaw dropped.

"I miss you, Liv." Ed took a deep, nervous breath, awaiting her reply. At first, it wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Brian asked me…asked me about whether or not I was ever going to bare my soul to him, I don't know why he asked me that, we're…we've been over for a long time." She was in her office; Ed heard the tinny sound of the blinds as Olivia closed the door. She continued in a louder, albeit shakier voice. "I miss being able to bare my soul to you, Ed. And I miss that you understand how hard it was for me to admit that just now. I miss being happy with you. I think about all the happy moments in my life and they mostly involve either you or Noah. I lost you. Then I almost lost Noah. Twice. You would think, since I've been such a stranger to happiness, I would fiercely hang onto it, but I was reckless with you and careless with Sheila, and maybe I simply don't deserve it."

Ed finally interrupted. "Stop," he said firmly, "Liv, stop. The upshot is, you didn't lose Noah. You got to him. Rescued him. You may still beat yourself up about it, but…You. Have. Him. And you didn't lose me. I'm here," he smirked and hoped she would smile at his impending attempt at levity, "Well, I'm here, in Florida right now, but I wanted us then and I want us now. I've never stopped wanting us."

"When do you come back?"

"I can be back tonight if you want." Ed didn't care if he sounded desperate. Olivia had essentially given him the green light for a second go-round at their relationship, and he was no longer willing to waste time. He wanted to jump right back in and resume his role as the stable, solid, loving presence she needed and deserved.

"You already juggled travel plans for me once…"

Ed chuckled, "I'd do it a million more times."

"Seriously. When is your regular flight?"

"Tuesday."

Two days away.

"I'll be at trial all day," Olivia said. By her estimation, it would be a difficult day with both a young man in need of a donor heart and Dr. Franchella testifying. "But, that night…stop by?"

"Sure. I'll bring dinner and cards."

"Ha! We have so many decks…"

"Noah likes a new deck…"

"Yes he does."

A silence ensued. Neither awkward nor uncomfortable. A moment of quietude to reset and allow themselves to accept and believe they had, without saying the words, recommitted to each other.

"I can't wait to see you, Liv."

"Me neither," she replied in a half-whisper. "Enjoy the rest of your trip. Bring back some sun and warmer temperatures."

"One way or another, I will."

….

The snag regarding Doctor Franchella's financial records made Olivia's breath catch in her throat. Despite the doctor's alleged criminal acts, Olivia saw gray and found herself in the rare position of seeing the merit in a perp's motivations.

"I'll have my people check it out," she said of the financial transactions.

"Alright," Stone replied, "Let me know. Sure you don't want a drink?"

Olivia checked her watch. "Yeah I am. I have to get going actually. I'll give Rollins a call on the way home and have her and Fin start digging through the records."

"Good deal."

Olivia hustled from the bar and hurried home. Ed had landed that afternoon and was awaiting her text. When it arrived, he ordered the food, patted his coat pocket to make sure the cards were still there, and headed out. Giddy with anticipation, he smiled as he walked. He predicted, accurately as it turned out, that Noah would run to him and hug his legs. Olivia would follow with a slightly tentative smile on her face, a smile which would quickly shift to one of confidence and peace as he wrapped her in a firm embrace.

After dinner, the trio played Crazy Eights, a game Noah struggled with when Ed first taught him. Now, older and his memory refreshed, Noah caught on quickly and waved away offers of assistance. He jubilantly slapped down his cards and helped calculate points. When, in the end, Ed emerged victorious, Noah demanded a rematch.

"Probably have to wait 'til next time to do that, bud."

Noah looked at his mother with wide, hopeful eyes but was met with a head shake. "Sorry, mister," Olivia said, "Bedtime. Go get your pajamas on. I'll be in in a minute."

Noah pretended to pout, but quickly brightened. "Ed, are you gonna read me a story tonight?"

"I think I'm going to clean everything up while you two read, okay?"

Pondering the idea, Noah surveyed the room. "Yeah, good idea." He held out his arms. "Hug."

"Absolutely."

…

Olivia returned to a living room that had been cleared of clutter and the remnants of their take-out taco feast. Ed was sitting in the middle of the couch, leaving Olivia the option of sitting in the chair or within very close proximity to him. She chose the latter and sat with her legs tucked under her body with her back against the armrest.

"He's finally staying in his bed all night," she murmured, glancing toward the back of the apartment.

Ed's cheeks burned. "Yeah?"

Olivia blushed as well, realizing her comment could have and apparently had been easily misconstrued as an invitation for Ed to spend the night. Her hand flew to her face, "I mean…he…"

"I know," Ed said with a smirk. He swatted at her knee then extended his own legs so they were resting on the coffee table. "C'mere. Sit with me."

Olivia sidled up to him and Ed wrapped both arms around her. He kissed her head. "How'd it go today?"

"This case is heartbreaking," Olivia forced a sarcastic chuckle, "Figuratively and literally. This little boy testified today…and of course, all I can think about is Noah and what if that were Noah, but I say the same thing when I think about Zoe's parents' perspective…"

"Worst kinda case…"

"Certainly falls in that category, yes."

Ed recognized she was in no mood for heavy relationship talk, so he tightened his hold and kissed her again. He asked if she wanted TV or a movie, but she declined, preferring to simply sit there and relax.

"But if you want—"

"—Nope. I want to be here with you."

"You really are sunburned," Olivia said, "It looks like it hurts."

"A little."

"I think I might have some after-sun spray."

"That's alright. I'm good. Don't wanna move, either."

Olivia smiled and closed her eyes. Resting her head on his chest felt so perfect, so right—it always had—and she added the sensation to the growing list of Ed-related things she hadn't realized were so necessary.

"So are we really doing this?"

She posed the question after several minutes of silence, so, in addition to being bold and assertive, it also came out amplified.

"Doing us again?"

"Yes."

"I wanna give it a shot."

Olivia laughed softly. Ed's reply better fit a suggestion to try a new restaurant or a new activity. "I do, too."

"Good. We agree on one thing."

Olivia furrowed her brow and craned her neck so she could see his face. "I didn't think us disagreeing was our problem."

"It wasn't."

Still frowning, Olivia asked, "What was our problem?"

"We didn't have one."

Ed could have delivered the answer as a scathing gut-punch, but he sounded innocent, rueful, and maybe a bit inexperienced and childlike. Nevertheless, Olivia winced. Fiercely independent yet lacking confidence in her ability to be someone's romantic partner, having a real relationship challenged her. At first, it was a good challenge. The beginning, the exciting parts, unfolded on the rockiest terrain, but she and Ed soldiered through, strengthening their bond in the process. Yet her self-doubt eventually became a self-fulfilling prophecy, and rather than let Ed take her hand and provide reassurance, she fled.

"Now I realize that was the problem."

"Whaddya mean?"

"There was no problem," Olivia said, "And that scared me."

"And now it doesn't?"

"No," she replied, "Well, maybe a little…"

Ed smirked. "Tell me when you get scared," he rasped. "I love you, Liv. The last thing I want is for you to be scared."

She traced the outline of his cheekbone with her thumb and stared into his eyes. Seconds later, she bit her lip, cocked her head, and kissed him. It was possessive, passionate, and clearly intended to add punctuation to her insistence she was ready for, as Ed put it, another shot.

….

#Tuckson