Disclaimer: I don't own the 100 or any of its characters

Chapter 1

Just after pulling the kill switch in the City of Light, Becca told Clarke to find her diary. She had placed it in the escape pod she had used to come to Earth. She had not been able to explain to why that was necessary before Clarke come out of the City of Light. Nevertheless, Clarke decided to search for it.

The last few hours had been blurry for Clarke. Between helping the injured and answering the questions relating to the City of Light, she was never alone. Now she was exhausted and past few day's events had caught up with her.

The blonde haired girl had managed to keep the flame with her. Clarke knew if the grounders found that she had the flame then they would take it from her. However, she could not part with it. It is the last piece she had of Lexa. And she would not give it up without a fight.

Clarke had watched Lexa lay still and devoid of any breath. There she had finally admitted, at least to herself, that she loved Lexa. In fact, she still does. Seeing those green eyes without their usual spark of life was like a punch to the gut. It was not that long ago when those eyes held so much love for her. She had been an idiot because she had not recognized for what it was. Lexa's, 'that's why you're you.' held not only a message that she loved Clarke but it was an act to protect Lexa herself from rejection. Because up until then Clarke had not shown Lexa that, she had in fact forgiven Lexa. Let alone the fact that her feelings were reciprocated.

Now she would never be able to tell her that. With these thoughts, the blue-eyed girl broke down crying. She was grieving for her lost love. It was hours later before she fell asleep drained from crying.

Clarke woke up the next day feeling more drained than the day before. She had tossed and turned while trying to sleep. Nightmares and memories had plagued her all night. Without looking at herself, she knew that her eyes would be red and puffy. Her appearance disheveled. But the blonde did not care about that. Since she knew she would not be able to fall back asleep now, she thought might as well get up.

She had not gotten an opportunity to find the book Becca had told her about yesterday. She did not want to tell anyone about this because she had a feeling that she should do this alone and not get anybody involved.

She had to dodge a number of people to get to the floor where Titus' room was. However, the area near the room in which the escape pod was, had been deserted. Clarke let out a relieved and a grateful sigh. Explaining what she was doing in this room would be very difficult. She entered the room silently.

The room was filled with some sort of consoles, which were being used as candleholders and many candles. She found the escape pod in the corner of the room. Clarke, ignoring everything else, directly went to the pod and examined it. Becca had not told her where exactly she would find the book. If the book had been laying around then Titus or anybody else could have easily found it.

She examined every inch of the pod. She searched inside and outside for any indications of hidden compartment but there were none. Dejected, Clarke sat down on the seat inside the pod holding her head. It had been three hours since she had entered this room and had not found anything. Just as she was about to abandon her search, she saw on the floor a hole roughly in the shape of a chip.

On a hunch, she removed the ALIE 2.0 chip from the casing she had placed it in yesterday and looked at it intently. She laid the chip in the hole and it fit perfectly as if it was made for it.

Clarke did not know why but she said, "Ascende Superius" and the chip activated. The area around the chip glowed for few seconds. Then the tile slid back a couple of inches revealing a small compartment in the escape pod. When she looked inside it, she found two small cases and a book wrapped in a bundle of cloth.

She quickly emptied the contents of the compartment and slipped them inside her coat. She would go over them later on. Anyone can stumble upon this room and find her. She had been in this room long enough. She needed to leave soon. However, she needed to close this compartment and get back the chip. There was no way she was willing to leave it behind.

Since the compartment opened with the password, it may close with one as well. Clarke thought to try that out and uttered "quia nunc vale"

The compartment closed with slight noise and she removed the chip from the hole. She placed a kiss on the chip that held a piece of her love. Then she carefully and reverently placed the chip back in its casing.

As she was leaving the room, she ran into Bellamy. It looked as if he was searching for something. Knowing her luck, Clarke knew there was a high possibility that it would be her. She did not know what to think of him. He had been the one who had betrayed her to Pike. He had been the one who had helped in killing 300 of the peacekeeping force in their sleep. They were there to help protect them and had died needlessly.

"Clarke! There you are. I have been looking for you for a while. We were heading back to Arkadia." Bellamy's voice grated in her ears.

"So?" She asked. Clarke wondered why he would search for her just to tell that. She already knew that they would head back today, as they were needed at Arkadia.

"So come on lets go. Everyone is waiting for you." The brown-eyed boy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He was impatiently waiting for her to go with him.

"No. You go ahead. I am not coming." Clarke did not want to go back to Arkadia. She had left them for a reason. She did not belong with them anymore. To see their faces every day and be reminded of what she had to do to protect them. Further, she could not reconcile them now with what they were before, after everything that had happened over there.

"What! Where would you go Clarke? We need you. There is rebuilding to be done. Besides that do you really think that these grounders would let you stay here after everything?" Bellamy said in disbelief.

"No they would not." She agreed that these people would let her stay here in Polis but she was adamant in not going back with them. "But its hardly my fault that there is rebuilding to be done at Arkadia, Bellamy! I might not be able to stay here but I am not coming with you." Clarke said with finality. She turned around and left him in the middle of corridor.

Bellamy was shocked at her behavior but snapped out of it when she left him. He jogged after her and stopped her by grabbing her forearm. "Don't you try and leave everything on me again. I did whatever I could do. And where will you go?" Bellamy was annoyed at her for trying to run away again.

Clarke let out a sigh and told him, "You are not alone. Kane and my mom are there to help. But, I will not come with you. I have had enough of cleaning all the mess our people get into." She was adamant in her decision. She snatched her arm out of his grasp and walked outside towards the entrance. He followed her.

Once they reach outside, they split up. Clarke went towards the stables and Bellamy went towards the corner where Kane and Abby were waiting. After Abby saw Clarke going in opposite direction, she looked questioningly in Bellamy's direction. He just shook his head and gave a shrug in answer. Kane placed a supportive hand on Abby's shoulder when they all saw Clarke leaving riding on a horse.

Clarke rode her horse up until the dusk. She did not which direction she was heading but knew that she needed to get away from there. She could not go to Arkadia but she could also not stay at Polis either. Equally, the places are very dear to her but right now, both of them hold very painful memories. In both the places she lost the person, she loves the most. It would be agonizing to stay at either of the place.

She spotted a cave nearby where she decided to halt for the night. She tied the horse at the entrance and went inside to explore it. The place was dark and she knew that later on in the night she would not be able to see at all inside the cave. She decided to start a fire and quickly gathered wood for it.

Sitting at the entrance of the cave and watching the sky fill with stars Clarke let her thoughts wander. When the blonde had seen the commander in the City of light, she could not have believed it. Many things had been left unsaid between them. She thought that she would have more time with her. But as they say, life is unfair. Soon this hope was cruelly snatched off from her. Before pulling the kill switch, she had told ALIE that one does not ease the pain but overcomes it. She was correct because she did not want to ease the pain by forgetting Lexa. Not even a moment of it. The good times as well as the bad. If she had decided to forget the pain then it would amount to forgetting her as well.

It was tempting. So very tempting, to stay inside the City of Light with Lexa. However, she knew that she could not do that. If she had then she would be disrespecting the legacy left by Lexa and destroying everything Lexa stood for. She made the decision with her head and not with her heart. Just like once Lexa had done. Clarke now understood how difficult that decision had been for the commander.

Ever since Lexa's death, Clarke had always regretted how she had treated the other girl and how much time she had lost by holding on to petty anger. Time that could have been spent with her. Lexa had been correct when she had stated that Clarke would have taken the deal to protect her people if the same was offered to her.

The blonde was jolted out of her musings when she remembered Becca's book. Quickly emptying the contents of her coat, she ignored the two cases and went straight to the book.

After reading few pages, Clarke found that the book contained the both ALIE and ALIE 2.0 code in it. She would have bet anything that Raven could have used it to make the kill switch for ALIE using Arkadia's mainframe. 'If only we knew about this book before.' Clarke thought bitterly. Many lifes could have been saved. 'No use crying over spilt milk.' She sighed. She continued flipping the pages of the book to find something interesting. She was about halfway through the book before she stumbled upon it.

Clarke started reading the passage from the diary. 'There was no use coming back to the Earth. Almost all of the technology here is wrecked and without access to the mainframe ALIE is using, I will not be able to destroy it. If I came before the bombing then I could have done that.

I knew this possibility before coming to Earth but I had hoped that it would not come to that. However, I had started an experiment. If the experiment is successful then I will be able to rectify the mistake I made by letting ALIE to destroy the earth's population. By injecting the nightblood serum and placing the ALIE 2.0 inside me, I will be able to activate the experiment. The ALIE 2.0 and the nightblood will store my memories. The chip, I developed would help in transporting them to the past. I have not been able to test this but if I am successful then I will be able to save many lives.

This experiment is dangerous though. There are no guarantees that it will be a success or that there will be any other unforeseeable consequences. Because I am going use the nightblood to go back, it will change my blood in the past as well to cope with the memory transportation. What complication that may arise due to that is uncertain but it would be worth it.

All my calculations tell me that there is only a small frame of time, that I will be able to transport my memories back to past. It shows that hypothetically I will be able to travel only couple of months back into past. I need to increase the timeframe or else I will not be able to make it back before the bombing.

I am going to get only one chance to get this right as using the chip would release toxics that a human body would not be able to handle. I would be essentially be poisoning myself.' The next few pages disclosed the detailed method of conducting the experiment.

'Becca must have not been able to increase the timeframe it seems.' thought Clarke. The outcome of bombing had not changed after all. 'But it is also possible that she was not able to complete the experiment or that it had failed. There is nothing mentioned about its success.'

'Wait! If I were to use this method then I will be able to go back before ALIE takes over. I will be able to save many people from her. Maybe I'll be able to save her.' She thought. A small spark of hope ignited inside her before it was ruthlessly squashed. 'For me to conduct this experiment, I will require nightblood. And since Ontari is dead, I will not be able to use blood exchange to get the nightblood flowing in me again.' Clarke thought dejectedly. 'This is useless.' She threw the book away in anger.

She miserably clutched her hair. It was a while before her gaze fell on the cases, she had ignored earlier. When she opened one, it contained an injection with black liquid in it. On top, it was neatly labeled as 'serum'. She hastily opened the other case and found a chip inside. From the descriptions in the book, Clarke determined that it was Nightblood serum and the TARDIS like chip in the cases.

A small smile formed on her face, which turned, into full-blown relieved laughter. It had been a while since Clarke had laughed this freely.

'But if the experiment had failed and fails again then there is a possibility that I'll die.' Clarke thought with a frown. 'It would be worth it though if I can have a chance. Nothing is same after she died. Moreover, after seeing her in the City of Light and after admitting to her that I love her nothing will be same. If I have any chance to save her then I'll take it.' Determination filled her. She would not fail, as failure was not an option.