Title: Scully's Struggle

Author: Kyouryoku Senshi

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Post My Struggle III. What happens next?

A/N: Special thanks to WildWingSuz for BETAing!

Scully was still dreary and confused after talking with Mulder. Her body ached terribly from the accident and the recent attack. Age and weight loss hadn't really helped anything. She had no Earthly idea what pushed her to not only leave the hospital, but get behind the wheel in her condition.

It was reckless, she should have known better as a doctor and never have left the hospital. She was losing it. She had left Mulder over far less and yet he was always there for her when she needed him most.

Scully jumped at the sound of approaching footsteps and sat up in her hospital bed. Dr. Joyet gently touched her arm. "It's okay, Dr. Scully, take it easy."

Scully sighed, though her heart was still racing.

"Your brain activity is still somewhat abnormal and you do have a fracture in your cheekbone from the impact of the airbag. I know I don't have to tell you this, but you're going to have to take it easy for a while."

Scully's head throbbed and she began to feel her heart racing again.

The woman standing before her blurred slightly. Scully pressed her fingertips into her temple as several voices sounded in her ears.

"Dana, take it easy." She could hear as she felt a pair of hands press her back down into the hospital bed. Scully relaxed against the bed and took a deep breath.

Dr. Joyet stood back and watched her, assessing what she should say next.

"You've been through quite a lot, maybe we should go over your other test results tomorrow."

Scully heard something in the woman's voice that brought her back to reality. "No. I'm fine. I just...want to go home."

The other doctor managed a small smile. "I think you will be able to go home within the next day or two. Your irregular brain activity has quieted down quite a bit and seems to be steady, but there is something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Scully looked up. She felt her heart pounding in her eardrums once again.

"What?"

"I had a chance to look over your bloodwork again, Dr. Scully and found something else."

"Well, what is it?" Scully snapped, instantly regretting how harsh she sounded.

"I know this may come as a shock, but you appear to be in the very early stages of pregnancy."

Scully felt her blood run cold and her head started spinning. "No, that's...that's not possible, I'm 54 years old. I can't have a baby," she whispered.

"I know I don't have to tell you it's not impossible, however uncommon for a woman of your age if you're still ovulating."

Scully squeezed her eyes shut as if bracing for the impact. "How...far along am...I?"

Dr. Joyet managed a small smile. "About 5 weeks."

Her mind drifted back to the night she had driven over to the Unremarkable House to see Mulder-to ask about his magic mushroom trip. The timeframe fit. Her heart was racing. Was it the alien DNA that caused her to get pregnant a second time after believing she was barren? Was the chip responsible for controlling that timeline? More importantly, was someone manipulating her chip to fit their ungodly agenda? She knew women generally went through menopause once they exhausted all their eggs…that meant she still must have had a limited amount. She never entirely believed she was immortal, though she liked to joke about it with Mulder. If that was the case, maybe it has drastically slowed the aging process. She was still ovulating in her 50's, though later menopause wasn't uncommon for some women. There have been extremely rate, but well documented cases of women over 60 bearing children.

"I'll let you rest while you process this."

Scully watched her leave the room and tried to take a deep breath, but it was then that she felt the pain pierce through her temple. It was a memory of the Smoking Man she couldn't make out entirely, but it had something to do with the weekend she took a trip with him.

She had woken up in his bed feeling violated. Of course, she had a thorough medical exam when she got back to D.C. with nothing unusual to be found. She didn't trust that though. While she still believed William was her miracle, she also believed there was an outside hand involved in her pregnancy. Another concern came to mind that she brought up to Mulder recently. Was she really being used as an incubator all this time? The thought hurt her immensely. She wanted to believe William and now this child were miracles.

"William," she whispered. "How are you connected to me?" she whispered out loud.

Scully dropped her head back into the pillow and didn't fight as the darkness consumed her.

The next morning, Scully opened her eyes to see Mulder at her bedside. She hoped he had gone home for at least a few hours for some sleep.

"Good morning sunshine," he teased before moving to brush a stray hair from her face.

He always did know how to make her smile. "I look terrible Mulder, and you know it."

"Not to me," he murmured as he moved to kiss her temple. "How are you feeling?"

Scully sighed. It took her a moment to recall what the doctor told her last night. Surely that was part of the dream? No way could she be pregnant at 54. Of course she'd seen way more unusual things, but William was her miracle. She couldn't have children, let alone at 54.

"I'm fine," she whispered. She was debating on whether or not to mention any of this to Mulder. Judging by his reactions to her the last few days, she knew he would think she was crazy. They had always hoped and longed for another child... another chance at being parents. Eventually she had to accept that she wasn't meant to be a mother. She yearned to have a child call her "Mommy". The one and only time she had been referred to as such was when Emily told her to let her go. She missed her terribly too; she'd never stopped wondering what Emily would have looked like had she lived to grow up. In the end, it was a failed experiment that was once again a result of violating her reproductive rights.

William's adoptive parents were the ones who raised him all these years. They were the ones there to comfort and praise him when she and Mulder were unable to. As much as she wanted to see her son, she was also terrified of the heartbreak that would be involved. She couldn't undo the past 17 years. William had a family he belonged to already. Had another mom and dad. Did he have any adopted brothers or sisters? All she knew was that they had the last name of Van de Kamp.

"Scully," came Mulder's concerned voice.

She realized she had zoned out again.

"I'm okay, Mulder."

Dr. Joyet reappeared in the room and looked pointedly towards Mulder. "Dr. Scully is being released today with the understanding that she not be left alone. I'm still concerned she might seize at any moment. Since we don't know the exact cause, we can't rule it out entirely. She especially shouldn't be behind the wheel or operating any machinery until we know what is causing her seizures, be it these visions or not."

Scully looked over at Mulder. "Mulder, could you give us a few minutes first?"

Mulder was startled as both eyes were on him like an elephant in the room. "Oh—I thought it was clear where I stood in your life?" he blurted out.

Realizing what an ass he sounded like, he sighed. "Sorry, I'll be outside." Scully still wasn't herself, he had to let it go. But why was she shutting him out now all of a sudden?

Scully said nothing and it wasn't like her at all. His heart sank slightly as he stood up and left the room. Scully clasped her hands tightly.

"I know you are probably still processing the news, but I don't want you to feel like you need to make any major decisions in this condition. I do want to do some more tests before you leave. As I'm sure you already know, this is a very high risk pregnancy due to maternal age and that does raise concern. I want you to be informed before coming to any decision and of course, rested and coherent."

She sighed and placed her head in her palms. "I thought it was all part of a vision, this is unreal," she gasped, dropping her head into her hands.

Concern was etched in the other doctor's features. Scully felt an array of emotions from confusion to anger, but then to hope and even love. "Something could be wrong-I mean the accident-"

Dr. Joyet gently placed her hands on Scully's shoulder. "We don't have any reason to believe anything is wrong, we did do some tests and you seem to be progressing as you should...there was no abdominal trauma, but we will need to have you come back so we can check more thoroughly should you decide you want to go through with the pregnancy."

Scully closed her eyes. She couldn't have a baby at her age, but she hadn't even thought of the alternative. That wasn't an option on her mind.

She took a deep breath before looking back at the Doctor. "I just want to go home."

Mulder and Scully drove in silence back to the unremarkable house. He kept looking over at Scully, who was fast asleep in the passenger seat. She was slumped over partially, her head resting on his shoulder the entire time. As he approached the house they once shared, he almost immediately regretted not putting in a cemented driveway. Scully jerked awake as he pulled off the main road and onto the graveled road towards their house.

"Sorry," he said sympathetically. "I really should put in that driveway."

For a moment, she looked as if she were in a daze and then turned towards him. "Don't be, I'm just glad you finally got rid of that damned gate," she managed a small smile and the sight of it made his heart melt. He would give anything to make her smile.

He pulled up to the front of the house and put the car in park.

They sat in silence for a moment and Scully seemed to be taking in her surroundings. She looked around inside the car before turning back to Mulder. "Mulder, by the way, nice ride," she teased.

Mulder grinned. "Thanks. I sold out Uber and hitchhiking for a mid life crisis mobile."

She rewarded him with another big smile. God, she was beautiful. She had let her hair grow out recently and it reminded him of the way she'd often wore it when they lived together, only now it had soft waves in it. How in the hell was he going to contain himself while he looked after her?

He got out of the car and went to her side to open the door. To his surprise, she did take his hand and let him guide her up the steps to the house they once shared. What surprised him though was that she immediately pulled back before they got to the door. "Scully?"

Scully's pulse quickened and she took several deep breaths. Without warning, he saw her crumble to her knees with her forehead clutched in both hands. She cried out.

"Dana!" He was at her side and on his knees immediately.

"Oh God," she whispered. He was immediately filled with dread and instantly regretted leaving the hospital, but Scully was insistent on going home. He pulled her into his arms. "Hey, remember...breathe, Scully, breathe. It's okay," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. He paused for a moment and breathed in the sweet scent of her hair. Despite everything she had been through these last 48 hours, the fresh scent still lingered. He sighed as he felt her wrap her arms around him for support.

She seemed to calm down a bit as he held her. "What did you see?" he asked

Scully took a deep breath and slowly pulled back to meet Mulder's worried gaze. "This is where I saw it...the last time I was here, the house was just torn up inside without a trace of you in it. You were gone."

Mulder held Scully and looked into her troubled eyes. "I'm here, Scully. And while my cleaning style may not be Scullyesque, I promise you it's habitable."

It broke his heart seeing the confusion in her eyes. Her visions were her reality. She bit her lip as she met his gaze and he knew she was lost and confused.

"Let's go inside, okay? I'm here."

Scully nodded. He reached around her waist and gently pulled her other arm around his, helping steady her. Her legs were trembling and she appeared to be still hurting somewhat from the accident.

As Mulder inserted the key, he felt Scully stiffen against him before he opened the door. She took a deep breath and examined the surroundings before breathing a sigh of relief.

"Mulder, I never thought I'd see the day where I'd find your living habits comforting."

"Thanks, I think? I can see what's in the fridge or-I can use Uber Eats to get us some food later."

Scully raised a skeptical brow at him. "Uber Eats?"

"Yeah, it's an Uber driver that brings you food, Scully. You should try it sometime."

She eyed him skeptically.

"You should go rest-you know, doctor's orders...but you know that thing about doctors not being good patients?"

That earned him a swat on the arm with impressive strength he didn't expect. "We didn't get any clothes from my apartment."

Mulder smiled. "Scully, you still have some things here. Why don't you go rest for a while and I'll order us some food?"

"I'm exhausted, I really could use some sleep."

Mulder watched as Scully made the way to the bedroom they once shared.

Scully had lived there for nearly a decade before they separated. It wasn't long ago that she couldn't stand the feelings and emotions being there brought back, but after experiencing what she thought was the end of the world, she couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Scully managed to find some silky pajamas she had left in the dresser opposite the bed and slipped them on. She threw her navy blue, bloodied blazer suit off to the side in a very un-Scully like fashion. A shower could wait as right now she was desperate to sleep.

Moving back to the bed, she couldn't help but smile. Mulder had actually made the bed. Pulling back the bedspread, she slipped under the covers. Once her head hit the pillow, the scent of Mulder's aftershave lulled her to sleep.

To be continued….please PLEASE let me know what you guys think! Now sure how canon this will be, but I'm planning to insert William in the next chapter.