A Red Vs. Blue Fanfiction Story:

"I against I and Me against You"

Episode I: Funky Monday

The Pelican ride had mostly been silent. Most of all, uncomfortable. She wasn't sure which was more uncomfortable: the fact that she was wearing the armor of a simulation trooper of all things, albeit in cyan as she preferred, or that she had no one to talk to the whole ride. Admittedly, she wasn't one to start conversations, but the silence was slightly maddening. She wished that York was here. Maybe North. Hell, she'd take South.

She gave a low sigh, resting her head against the metal wall behind her before looking at her helmet. It was so ugly. Deformed. Different. This wasn't the armor she wanted to wear. It was insulting, but... This was her armor. It would be her skin for who knew how long. It was the price to pay if she was to accomplish her goal.

[We'll be reaching Blood Gulch in T-minus 30. Better grab your stuff, recruit.]

She scowled. Recruit, she spat in her mind. I'm not some cannon fodder the Director can use as he sees fit. I'm...

She trailed from that thought, realizing that, for the upteenth time today, her status no longer existed. As far as the UNSC-no, as far as Project Freelancer was concerned, she was dead and gone. She no longer existed.

A sad truth.

The Pelican shuddered, implying its approach to her new station. The place where she would be helping her friend guard Project Freelancer's most well-kept secret. The place where she would be protecting a certain idiot.

The place where he was.

Her mouth went dry as she stood up, fastening her helmet. A low hiss emerged as it clicked into place, sealing around her neck and connecting with the life support system imbedded into the armor. Giving herself a once over, noting how ugly she looked in the armor of a sim trooper, she waited until the Pelican shuddered, then didn't move for several seconds.

Moments later, the door opened. Dust and dirt kicked into the room, wind whipping across her form. Not that she noticed. The first thing that came into view was small patches of grass mixed in with light brown and dark red earth. She grabbed her duffel and stepped out, hopping out of the entryway. Once she disembarked, the door slid back up and the Pelican began to rise up.

Looking up as it left, she noted how clear the sky looked. She could make out a few planets. She also gave her new post a quick look over. Nothing but rock and grass with stone walls, stretching out for miles. At the other end was the faint outline of the Red Army military base.

"So, this is Blood Gulch." she remarked. "Not very impressive."

"Maybe, but it's the closest you'll get to home after the first few months!" She turned around, finding an aqua-colored sim trooper behind her. Strapped to his back was a sniper rifle, and at his hip was the standard military-issue magnum pistol. Once she saw him, he raised a hand in greeting. "Welcome to Blue Base, old buddy."

She rolled her eyes, smiling thinly as she walked over and shook hands. "Good to see you again, Florida."

"Ah, ah, ah." the Freelancer agent wagged his finger. "Here, it's Captain Butch Flowers. Remember, Second Lieutenant Carol Mackenzie?"

Carolina shook her head. "You know, I'm still having a hard time believing this." she said, a hand at her hip. "Here I am in the middle of nowhere, wearing the armor of the guys that Project Freelancer has been using as cannon fodder for us, and I'm not a Freelancer anymore. A Lieuetant. A Second Lieutenant." She gave a heavy sigh, lowering her head. "How the mighty have fallen."

"At least you've got the advantage of being dead, as far as everybody else knows." Flowers offered her. "Texas is still on the run. Of course, maybe that's also apart of the Director's plans. Anyway, enough standing around here. Let me introduce you to your new family!"

God, how she missed that cheery voice of his. Out of everyone in Project Freelancer, Florida was the most laid-back person in the whole program. York and North not far behind in that regard. Much like Illonois, he didn't have much aspirations about being at the top of the leaderboard. Instead, he focused on the present and what came after the program.

She wondered how the Director would react if he ever found out how he was going behind his back by bringing her here.

Blue Base was a few miles away, easily identifiable by the blue lights that acted as its marker alongside the banners. An octangular facility with a few metal walls to act as cover, not that they would need them, though. If what he said was of any indication, the only thing she needed to worry about was the "team-killing fucktard" and his Tank.

As they approached, Flowers bellowed, "Men, hussle up! Your new teammate has arrived!"

"Be right there, Captain!"

In a few minutes, two soldiers emerged from the base. One was wearing cobalt blue armor with a sniper rifle in hand. The other was dressed in regulation blue, pure blue all around with a golden visor. Carolina ignored the latter and focused mainly on the cobalt blue soldier.

That's him. It's really him.

Even if he had a physical body now, it would be hard not to recognize him.

"Men." Flowers saluted his two subordinates, who kindly reciprocated the gesture. "I told you all a few weeks ago, but Blue Team has received a tremendous addition. Allow me to introduce your new teammate, as well as your commanding officer in the event anything happens to me."

The blue soldier tilted his head. "So, he's our new boss in case you kick the can?" he asked with a suave tone. "Doesn't look like much."

Carolina gritted her teeth. He wouldn't be saying that once she got her hands on his candy ass.

"I can assure you, Second Lieutenant Mackenzie is a valuable asset." Flowers assured him. "At any rate, introduce yourselves."

"O-kay then. Names Tucker. Blue Team's resident ass-kicker and ladies man!"

Oh, God. Carolina grimaced. He's even worse in person.

"Ladies man?" the cobalt soldier scoffed. "Yeah, I don't see it." He then shrugged and returned his attention to her. "Names Church. Nice to meet ya."

"Carol." came the quick, albeit weak response as she tried to keep her composure. "Nice to meet you both."

Tucker recoiled. He looked at Church, who seemed equally as surprised before they looked at Flowers. "Um, Captain?"

"Yes, Private Tucker?"

"Is Lieutenant Mackenzie...?"

"A girl?" Flowers said in amusement. "Yes. Yes she is."

A second of silence. Then an obnoxious and grating laugh. "Awesome! We finally get a chick on our team!"

Carolina stared at Tucker for a millisecond before she turned to her old teammate, hand twitching and slowly reaching for her handgun. "Can I kill him?"

"No, Carol." Flowers said. She was sure the bastard was smiling. "You may not."

Project Freelancer, "Mother of Invention" – Many Years Ago

In her cabin, Agent Carolina of Project Freelancer let out a soft groan as she leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms. In front of her was a holographic monitor, lined with several strands of information and data that was apart of her report.

"The only thing I hate about being Leader." the red-haired Freelancer remarked wryly.

Following the completion of their latest mission, a sabotage at an old factory facility deep in Southern Africa, Carolina needed to write a detailed and well-documented report of their findings. Afterwards, she was to send it to the Director. If there was anything amiss, she would be on the receiving end of a very painful lecture.

Not that she would. She's done this thousands of times. By this point, the reports practically wrote themselves.

Leaning forward, she grabbed her cup of decaff, taking a drink before setting her vibrant yellow mug down on the table. Then, she resumed writing her report.

...the facility, as we had come to suspect, was designing weapons and researching alien technology leftover from the Covenant War many years ago. While the purpose behind the investigation of the artifacts is unknown, there was documented evidence discovered by Agents Wyoming and South Dakota that proves the militia occupying the factory was selling these weapons to the Insurrectionists.

After downloading their data to an external hard drive, we proceeded to destroy their computers. Once our objective was met, we proceeded with the destruction of the factory.

The militia will no longer be producing weapons for the Insurrectionists.

There is one thing that caughy my attention was I analyzed the data en route to the extraction point, though. It seems that, once they've finished researching alien tech, they're to deliver it to someone by the codename of "Scout."

I've cross-referenced our databases and came up empty. Whoever "Scout" is, they're an unknown. At present, we are unaware whether or not he is a third party, or he is somehow involved with the Insurgents.

At any rate, all the remaining data we've recovered has been sent to the analysts here at the Mother of Invention. Hopefully, once our next mission is assigned, they'll be able to make sense of what the enemy is up to.

On a more minor note, I would like to recommend to my commanding officers that Agent South Dakota be paired with Agent North Dakota, as of this document being written, be paired together in the future. On multiple occasions, Agent South threatened to stray from mission parameters and disobey orders and frequently fought with Wyoming.

According to statistics, however, her behavior is significantly reduced and more subdued, though she is still aggressive.

End of report.

Her fingers ceased their movements and her hand drived over to the holographic screen, saving the document and then proceeding to deliver it to the Director. Given how late it was, he would most likely read it tomorrow, but it was still better to deliver it now rather than later. She pushed herself away from her desk, grabbing her mug and taking a drink.

Only to find that it was empty.

"Damn." Carolina cursed mildly before a yawn emerged from her throat. She held a hand over her mouth to stifle it, though a sudden drowsiness made itself apparent. "Guess it's time to hit the hay."

She stood up, pushing her chair back into the desk. She made it just halfway to her bunk when she suddenly heard a series garbled sounds and distorted cries, muffled as they were, from behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she found the monitor wracked with heavy static.

"What the..."

Frowning, Carolina walked over and checked to see what the problem was. Given her position, she was naturally required to understand all the equipment at her disposal, however mundane. That also went for any electronics in her room. If she was reading this right, there was a system interference and some kind of backdoor program being launched.

Virus was the first thing that came to mind. She was about to run a counter program and cease all operations of her computer when the static grew worse, warping and twisting.

Then, without warning, it ceased. The screen flickered and spluttered before returning to normal. All systems were functioning properly. There was no trace of the backdoor program or the system interference.

"What was that?" Carolina muttered in confusion. She made a mental note to contact the techies onboard the ship and have them look at her equipment to see if there was any potential risk involved.

She turned away and then gasped.

Lying, in the middle of the floor, was a soldier in white armor. No, wait. It wasn't a soldier. Soldiers weren't transparent. She could see the faint grooves of the metal tiles that made up her floor. Also, soldiers didn't glitch like a computer program that was weirding out or suffered damage.

The transparent soldier wasn't some figment of her imagination, either. She heard a ping in the alert system connected to the vambrace on her left arm. Her green eyes narrowed at the glitching soldier, quickly running a diagnostics program.

The result was-

"An AI?!"

She double-checked. Her eyes weren't deceiving her. The transparent soldier, groaning and lying on the floor, was an AI. A damaged AI, but an AI nonetheless.

Immediately, Carolina looked back to her computer. Then she looked back at the AI. She now understood why her monitor was acting so funny. The AI had used a system interference to throw the ship's own AI, F.I.L.S.S, off guard while using the backdoor program to inflitrate. Still, how strange. What was it doing here? In her room, no less? An enemy tactic?

Carolina immediately put a hand to the communicator on her earlobe. She needed to report this. If need be, she'd use her computer to hold the AI. Given how it was glitching horribly, it was obviously in disrepair. Even if it wasn't an enemy program, it was still an unknown. She did NOT like having an unknown on board.

No sooner had she established a connection with F.I.L.S.S and ready to report this, she heard the AI mutter faintly.

"All...ison..."

Her heart stopped.

What. Did it. Just say?!

Simmons: Hey.

Grif: Yeah?

Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here?

Grif: I dunno man. That is a good question. Like, why are we here? Are we like puppets for our creators to use? Y'know, just get some cheap thrills and laughs at the expense of our own suffering and humility? I dunno...but it keeps me up at night?

Simmons: ...what? I mean, why are we here, doing the Author's Note, instead of being back at RoosterTeeth, waiting for Season 16 to be announced, if there even is a S16!

Grif: OH. Um...

Simmons: And what's that stuff about our creators and puppets?

Grif: Hm? Oh, nothing.

Simmons: You, uh, wanna talk about it?

Grif: No. I'm good.

Simmons: Seriously, though. Why are we here? Is he just too lazy to do it himself?

Grif: Well, he is working on Metastability right now as he's working on this.

Simmons: Yeah, but still. He could at least tell his readers what the fuck is going on. I mean, how did Church end up in Carolina's room? When even is that?!

Grif: Who cares? You know what I care about? The fact that Carolina's in Blood Gulch. With us. On Blue Team.

Simmons: ...oh, fuck.

Grif: Yep. Remind me to order reinforced cod-pieces.

Simmons: For Carolina? Or for Tex?

Grif: Both.

*meanwhile, with the Blues*

Caboose: Oh my GAWD! Giant faces!

Tucker: Caboose! Those are the readers!

Caboose: ...please don't take Church away, misters and misses Death.

Tucker: (facepalms) Jesus fucking Christ...