Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.

Chapter 1: Decision.

After the war against the Alvarez Empire, the things were apparently back to normal to Lucy. Fairy Tail was back and her whole family reunited again, that was exactly what she wanted. So why did she feel so empty and depressed as she was when lived at her father's house, during the teenage years?

Looking Glancing around, watching the way her friends were drinking and laughing in celebration of the arduous victory after the war, she felt a smile pull the corners of the lips unconsciously. She felt a stab in the chest as she remembered how much she had missed being in this place, surrounded by these people since she had spent the last year alone in the apartment in Crocus.

She missed the fire dragonslayer invading her place as if it belonged to him, with that annoying cat that had become so important to her. And she would never admit it out loud, not even under torture.

Staring into Natsu's carefree, smiling face was when she felt something click into her mind like a switch. The motive of emptiness she was feeling struck her like a stone. She remembered the sadness she had felt the last year and how lonely she had been. To think about how easy it was for him to leave her behind with only a damn note, it hurt even more when he was so close. 'He knew how much I hate solitude, why did he leave me?'

When the night fell, Lucy decided to go home, knowing that it was late, and seeing what half of the guild had left while and the other half was wasted by alcohol, she left saying goodbye to Mira. Walking for the cobblestone street she stared up at the starry sky reflecting on where her life would go from now on.

Opening the door to the newly renovated apartment, she threw the keys on the corner table beside the entrance and sat on bed, realizing that things were not very different from last year. After the battle with Tartarus and the dissolution of the guild, every night was just like that, silent and empty, and an irritating voice in the back of her mind screamed that nothing would be as before because she would never be the same again.

Lucy felt a slight tug at her magic and a flesh of light appeared before her, materializing her loyal lion in dark suit and blue glasses. Kneeling in front of her, he took the hand and kissed it affectionately. "Good evening, Princess, I could feel your anguish and decided to check it out. It's been a while since you felt like this."

Smiling faintly, she decided to ignore his question. "Hey Loke!" She greeted him.

Loke knew she was avoiding the conversation, he knew exactly how she was feeling, he had seen that face many times before. The loss of Aquarius, her second mother, left an open wound on Lucy. The insinuation that she was too weak and had to sacrifice the older spirit still tormented her princess even in the dreams.

Sitting next to her, Loke said patiently. "You know she doesn't blame you, Lucy. She told you to do that."

Lucy sighed, avoiding his eyes, they had had this conversation so many times and she thought he was tired of comforting her. "I know, but that doesn't change what I did. What if it was your key, Loke?" She asked for the first time, wanting him to understand how she felt.

He lifted her face against the chin so she could look him in the eyes. "And then... I'd sacrifice myself a thousand times if it meant your happiness, Lucy. All your spirits would."

She gave a defeated sigh and a real smile knowing he wanted to say what he said. "Thank you, Loke. You're going to help me find the new key, aren't you?She'll not give me a single clue, I need you." She begged.

He smiled knowing it would make her cheer up. "Of course, princess, have you told your team about your departure?"

Her features turned serious. "Not yet. I'll do it tomorrow. I also need to talk to Erick first, he may have heard something about the whereabouts of her key while he was still in the Crime Sorciere."

Loke let out a weak laugh. "Who would have thought someone like Cobra would become a good friend."

She smiled genuinely. "He helped me a lot, you know. He didn't forgive himself for holding me in that ridiculous giant fish watch."

Loke laughed at that. "Go sleep princess, you'll have a long day tomorrow, call me when you get to the station, Virgo and I will help you to pack everything." With a flash of light, he's gone.

"I swear he increased the intensity of this light." Lucy laughed to herself and lay down on bed. Knowing the next day would be very long.

The sun came in through the window and Lucy had to close the eyes tightly to keep the light from blinding her. "Damn, I'm pretty sure you closed the curtain." She rubbed the aching eyes. Taking off the sheets she tried to get up but felt a weight around her waist preventing the movements. 'Wait, a heavy, hot arm... Natsu!' She narrowed the eyes at the realization and shoved him off the bed, just to remember the old times.

"Wow, Luce, what was that? What a way to wake up someone." He grunted in the hoarse, drowsy voice of the place on the floor where he had fallen. Rising after a few minutes with a childish pout rubbing the back of the head.

"I told you not to break into my apartment, you idiot. By the way, good morning." She smiled brightly at him making him feel his heart melt, completely forgetting the pain in the head because of the fall. At that moment he realized how much he had missed waking up next to her.

Smiling back, he felt the rush flowing inside him with the expectation of a new day by her side. "Hey, Luce, get dressed, let's have breakfast at the guild and start a mission."

Lucy felt the smile dying on her own lips instantly as she remembered the conversation she should have had with him, but gathered all the courage possible at this hour of the morning, completely avoiding his eyes without wanting to see the reaction he would have after hearing the words she would say next. "I'm not going on a mission for a while, Natsu. I have something important to do and I'm going to be gone for a few months."

Natsu's face fell. "What do you mean, going out for a few months? Are you going on a solo mission? I can go with you, Lucy, I can help you with whatever it is." He said as he sat down next to her on the bed.

Lucy knew it would be difficult, her team was not the most understandable. She knew they would question her and probably have to stop her from leaving without them. But she had to do it herself this time. She needed to find the key to Aquarius and reunite her spiritual family again and all she wanted was for her companions to understand.

Her heart sank at the thought that talking about why she was leaving would lead to telling what happened in that battle and it was something she did not want to remember or speak out loud. "I need to do this by myself, Natsu. I have to go out for a while, I promise I'll tell you everything when I come back and use that time to train, too."

No matter how strong she was now after she could learn the magic stardress, it would never be enough after losing something so important. There would always be a stronger enemy, she learned this after this war against Zeref and his followers. She needed to be prepared and wanted to be able to protect what was precious to her without depending on anyone but herself.

Natsu looked at her with concern, he knew there was something different about Lucy since finding her at the Grand Magic Games at Crocus. Her eyes were not the same, bright and full of life. He knew it had something to do with his having left her behind and then the guild was undone and everyone was gone. He did not regret going away, he needed to train and be stronger to protect his family, he felt useless when he saw Igneel die soon after he had recovered him, but if he knew that one day after leaving the master would have undone Fairy Tail, he would have taken Lucy with him. He did not take her because he wanted her safely, and the guild was the safest place, not traveling through forests and deserts full of monsters and dark wizards.

'Should I tell her that?' Natsu wondered.

She screamed as she walked into the bathroom: "I'll see you at the guild, Natsu."

Natsu jumped out the window and walked over to the guild. He would not let Lucy leave for months without him. They stayed away for a long time already.

Note: I want to thank immensely to gamersweetheart, the beta reader that helped me edit this story.