Qrow & Ruby

Stage 1: Drunk Shenanigans!

Act 1

Ruby had been having such a nice dream before her uncle Qrow had woken her up. In said dream, she'd been the mighty Superior All Might! SAM was a mighty hero who protected the weak, defended the innocent, and fought in the name of justice! This particular dream had featured the villainous Cinder & friends, an organization bent on pain and suffering! The evil group had been trying to destroy the Land of Gumdrops and Ice Cream, and SAM had been about to unleash her super eye beams at them!

Then Qrow happened.

Now it was 2am, and she was being dragged out of bed and into the garage by a very drunk Uncle Qrow who seemed to be in the mood for an adventure!

A late night adventure.

Ruby hated late night adventures, they always tended to end badly.

"Ouch! Hey, stop pulling! Let go! I can walk myself!" Ruby whined, but her complaints fell on death ears as her parental figure put her in the passenger's seat of his car, and before long they were up in the air!

Oh yeah, Uncle Qrow had a flying car he named The Crow.

After a couple of moments in the air, Ruby broke the silence with a question "So… Why did you drag me out of bed on a school night?"

Qrow turned to her mid-drink, finished it, tossed the empty flask in the back and asked "What do you think of this flying car sport?" he slurred.

"What. Qrow, we've had this car for years!"

Qrow popped open a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon and chugged it before responding "I ha- I had to build a bomb Ruby."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah short stuff, a bomb. It's in the back, and imana drop it down there and create a whole new fresh start Ruby!"

"Oh my god!"

"Relax…" Qrow tossed the empty Blue Ribbon in the back and pulled out a bottle of scotch "It's gonna be good…" he muttered before opening it and pouring some down his throat.

"How?!"

"Right now, we're gonna go and pick up your little friend Jaune" Qrow said between pauses

"Why?!"

"Because Rubish, when I drop that thing I want- I want you to have something, something nice! It'll be like a whole new Adam and Eve! You'll be Adam, and he'll be your Eve!

Ruby's mouth was hanging open, what this really happening?

"Wait, wouldn't I be Eve?" She asked, before remembering that there were bigger things at play here than word choice! "No, no, no! That's not important right now!"

"I get what you're trying to say kid, and don't worry… You don't gotta worry about me trying to fool around with Jaune or anything, I'm not that kinda guy! Some people are, but not me!"

"Wha-? You-! What about Pyrrah!" Ruby questioned, she was pretty sure Jaune and Pyrrah were a thing!

Qrows eyes widened, and for a second Ruby actually believed her strategy had succeeded!

How naïve she'd been.

Qrow turned to his honorary niece and said "Dam Ruby, didn't know you had it in you. That's my best bud's daughter for you, Summer was into some pretty kinky shit too!"

Ruby,EXE has crashed.

"Then again, you're only 15… I guess we can postpone your harem until you're older."

[ARMING NEUTRINO BOMB.]

Having figuratively rebooted, Ruby let out a battle cry before leaping for the wheel.

"Ruby wha-! What are you doing!?"

"That's it Qrow, enough is enough!"

"What's gotten into you?!"

"I'm taking charge of this situation!"

"Alright, alright, we'll pick up your little harem, bu-!"

"I'm not about to let you blow up our town!"

"Ruby! Alright, alright, god! I'll land this thing, I'll land!" Qrow said, and Ruby stepped trying to take the wheel. "Piece of shit, when did you become little miss though guy?" Qrow muttered as he landed the car at a local park a couple of minutes away from home. He stepped out once he was sure it stopped moving, but didn't get very far before falling on his face. Before passing out he congratulated Ruby on passing some sort of test.

Ruby pinched the bridge of her nose.

She hated late night adventures.

[NEUTRINO BOMB ARMED.]

Ruby's eyes widened as the car began to beep. The beeping steadly grew louder and louder as each second passed. Ruby glanced at the back seat where the bomb sat and muttered…

"Oh no…"

Act 2

Ruby had gotten back at the crack of dawn, and had freshened up, dumped Qrow on the couch, and headed off to school before realizing she'd missed breakfast.

Ruby had been in the process of opening her locker, hoping to find something edible inside, when a hand slammed it shut.

"Hello Ruby~" the speaker purred from behind her, and Ruby flinched, why today?

"Oh! G-good morning Cinder!" Ruby nervously greeted

She was slammed against the lockers for her troubles

"Good morning? What's that supposed to mean? Are you mocking me? is that it you little shit?!" Cinder slammed Ruby against the lockers for every accusation.

"Oh, god no! I was ju-!"

"Just what? Mocking me for my eye patch!? The eye patch you gave me!?" Cinder asked before pulling out an ice cream scooper.

"Oh geez Cinder, I think the weapon's unnecessary... Y-you're being pretty effective without it!"

Cinder slammed Ruby harder against the lockers "Are you trying to tell me how I should be reproaching someone?! Big mistake Rose! Now I'm show you why you shouldn't mock a partly blind woma-!" Cinder let out a shriek as she was frozen solid from behind. She dropped her weapon on the ground as she froze and it shattered like glass

"Raisenberry Flapjacks?!" Ruby cried upon witnessing the event unfold.

"Ruby, there you are!" Qrow said as he put away his Freezing Taser. "Listen to me, I have an errand to run a few towns over and need a ride!"

"Qrow? w-what'd you do to Cinder?!"

"Pretty obvious Ruby, I froze her! Now come on, let's go!"

"I-I don't know Qrow, I can't keep missing school like this... and I can't just leave her here!" Ruby motions to the frozen Cinder, her expression is one of raw terror. Qrow glances at Ruby, and glares at the statue, then glances back to Ruby.

"I'll do it later, she'll be fine! Come on!" Qrow demanded, dragging Ruby by the hand and running off. As they left the duo bumped into the statue, causing it to nearly fall, but it was able to stay standing. It was then that Emerald walked by, and her face brightened up upon noticing her BFF!

'Cinder! and she's alone! This will be the story we tell our own children!' Emerald thought.

"G-good morning mam! how's your day been?" she nervously asked.

Cinders frozen form merely tilted and fell to the floor, shattering into a bunch of tiny pieces.

Emerald dropped her books, and just stared.

Then she started screaming, and wailing as nearby students gathered around the shattered body of their late student council president.

Act 3

"So… Where are we going?"

"Vale."

Ruby turned "Why?"

"Hey, hands on the road moron!"

Ruby quickly turned her attention back to the road they were currently on, but her question still hung in the air.

"Seems your sister got herself into a pickle, and I've been put in charge of her rehabilitation."

To Be Continued…