Hushed Memories

A NieR: Automata Fan Fiction

By Kraven Ergeist

Chapter 1

He awoke to see her staring back at him amidst a field of rubble.

9S' startup sequence usually involved a lot more diagnostics. Disconnected as he clearly was from the YoRHa main server, he lacked the bitrate he would have needed to complete the full sequence of regulation procedures, though Pod 153's mechanized voice continued to echo in his ear as it ran a brief overview of his systems.

"Good morning, 9S," the Pod said as it hovered somewhere over his head. "All systems functioning nominally."

He ignored the Pod's voice. His eyes were focused on his partner, who had still not spoken a word.

"2B…" he said to her.

Her gaze was haunting as she stared back at him, her black cloth visor hanging from her open palm as it caught gently in the breeze. She stared at him with an inquisitiveness he was not used to seeing from her, an intensity in her eyes that commanded his undivided attention. He was not used to seeing her uncovered eyes in general; perhaps her eyes were always this fierce. Either way, for whatever reason, 9S felt that he was unable to look away.

Could this really be her? He had watched his partner die at the hands of A2 in the ensuing chaos after the virus had compromised the Bunker. In the days since that happened, he had not relented his pursuit – both of the machines that still walked the planet, and of the rogue YoRHa unit who had silenced his companion.

He swallowed hard, still sitting across from 2B on the concrete surface of what appeared to be one of the ruined buildings surrounding the city. He had encountered dozens of 2B units in the Machine Tower, and slaughtered them all. He had no reason to think that this 2B would be any different. He waited for her to make a move on him, though the fact that she had removed her visor, or that she had not destroyed him while he slept gave him pause.

Whoever this 2B unit was, she was different from the others.

Pod 153 had been droning on continuously this whole time as 9S ignored it. Swallowing hard, he prepared to give the Pod an order to run a diagnostic on 2B, but was pre-empted when the android who resembled his partner finally spoke.

"Who are you?"

9S felt something ice cold grip his android heart. All at once, he began to pour over his memory banks. The copies he had fought in the tower had been given no voices. That this one spoke was promising in and of itself. That she seemed to display no memory of him, however…

"I'm…YoRHa Unit 9S," he said, his voice lilting unexpectedly. "Do you…not recognize me?"

2B slowly turned her head around to inspect her surroundings, displaying the same level of passive disinterest conveyed with the same intense gaze she had been leveling at him moments ago.

"No," reported simply and indifferently. "Where am I?"

9S opened his mouth before closing it again. Snapping his head back at to his Pod, he stammered out a helpless request.

"Pod," he blurted out. "What's going on?"

Pod 153 responded with the utmost patience.

"As I have been attempting to explain to you, 9S," it said cordially. "Following the destruction of the Machine Tower, Units 9S and 2B were recovered, as was Pod 042. Subsequently, their memories were restored from local backups from within Pod 042 and myself. Reactivation commenced soon afterwards. Unit 2B regained consciousness approximately six minutes before you, 9S."

9S was silent. If Pod 153's report was at all accurate, the sheer number of protocols that had been violated prior to his reactivation were astronomical. Completely overlooking the fact that Pod 153 had referred to itself as 'myself,' which went against their own hard-line programming, the idea of YoRHa units' memories being stored in a Pod's memory banks violated so many regulations that it boggled his mind.

Then again, YoRHa was gone. The protocols that bound them were of little consequence anymore. Still, the fact that the Pods had gone against this protocol at all was unbelievable. He had not expected to come out of the tower alive, and certainly not with an intact of copy of 2B at his side.

Unfortunately this did not address the concern of her memories.

"What's happening to 2B?" he demanded, staring at his Pod as his partner turned her head this way and that, inspecting her surroundings with suspicious intensity.

"Unknown," Pod 153 supplied unhelpfully.

2B returned her gaze to 9S, causing his heart to leap into his throat. Her gaze was so intense that he could look nowhere else when her eyes fell upon him.

"Where am I?" she repeated her previous question, a bit more forcefully.

It was all 9S could do to respond.

"You're…we're…somewhere in the city ruins," he stammered. "On a building, not far from the Resistance Camp."

2B blinked with uncertainty.

"Resistance Camp?" she queried.

9S nodded slowly.

"Yes," he said hesitantly. "2B, don't you…remember anything?"

She blinked again, fixing her gaze at the ground.

"2B…" she said, mouthing the alphanumeric designation between her lips like an unfamiliar morsel of food. "Is this…my name?"

9S's throat was dry, his mouth opening as closing as he attempted to think of a response.

Had she forgotten everything?

"P-Pod…?" he whispered, not knowing what else to do.

"Hypothesis: It is possible that there is an error in her memory banks," Pod 153 reported. "Personality module appears to be intact. All memory data present. Likelihood of a systemic memory block due to traumatic interference: highly probable."

9S had to steady himself by bracing his hands against the cold asphalt surface beneath where the two of them lay. Systemic memory block. It was the android equivalent of amnesia, usually brought about by some kind of traumatic experience. While he had no doubt that his partner's experiences certainly qualified in that regard, there was no documented case in the entire YoRHa database of a complete memory recovery.

All at once, the full impact of the situation caught up to him. The Tower, the machines, the truth behind YoRHa, the truth behind the number 2 prototype, and the fact that despite impossible odds, he had come so close to saving 2B, only to be left with an empty shell of the android he loved. He didn't care that his entire purpose was founded on a lie. He didn't care that his partner had only ever been assigned to him in order to kill him should he get too curious. He didn't even care about getting revenge on A2 anymore.

2B was inches from his face. But they may as well have been a million miles apart.

Ripping the visor from his face, he began to weep. He wept for 2B and the future they'd never have together. He wept for the sick, vicious world that had eked them both into this existence, that had seen fit to place them like chess pieces on a board, only to fling that board from the table, scattering any semblance of hope those pieces might ever stand of finding meaning in their existence.

He reached for his partner, took her by the shoulders and pressed her to him, his tears flowing like an open wound. He buried his face into her silver hair, his tears disappearing into the shimmering locks as he embraced her. He wept as he held her there, fingers pressing into her back as she remained unmoving in his arms.

She didn't push him away. But she made no move to return the embrace either.

"What are you doing?" she asked bluntly.

9S nearly choked on his tears. It was like embracing a ghost. The personality was there, the same fire that stoked within his partner's machine heart still roiled like a furnace, the fierce defiance that challenged the world around them remained ever resolute inside her. But that was all that remained of 2B, of the life they had together.

What did they have left in the world? YoRHa was gone. Humanity was one. The Machines who they had been forged to destroy were all but gone from this world. They had no purpose left. No purpose but each other. And it seemed that even this purpose was barely a flickering candle.

"9S?"

Her voice echoed in his ear. So close. So familiar. The name sounded from her tongue as if conforming to muscle memory. The familiar breeze of his name escaping her lips was like a soothing balm.

Perhaps…perhaps not all hope was lost.

"Pod," 9S spoke up. "Earlier, we encountered an E-type unit who had erased her own memories. But those memories were restored when she was presented with something familiar."

"Affirmative," Pod 153 spoke up. "Proposal: Unit 9S should try recounting shared memories with 2B to attempt to restore her memories."

9S continued to hold 2B in his arms, newfound determination in his heart. Right now, 2B may have been a shell of her former self, but she was still alive. He didn't know if he could restore her memories or not. But he knew if there was even a shred of possibility, it was worth a shot.

There would be a lot of ground to cover. But they had all the time in the world now.

"9S?" 2B spoke up again, still sounding confused, her body still unmoving in his arms.

He shuddered. When they had helped the E-type unit recover her own lost memories, they had come at a great cost. The E-type unit had been left in a state of fugue in the wake of her returning memories, the guilt of what she'd done overwhelming her. Perhaps…perhaps it had not been worth remembering, in her case. She had chosen to wipe those memories from her brain. Who were they to take that choice away from her?

Perhaps it was the same for 2B. Perhaps those memories had simply been too painful. Perhaps she had even chosen to wipe those memories from her brain. Perhaps she would even come to hate him, should he find some way to bring those memories back to her.

Still…still, he had to try.

"We'll figure this out," he whispered into her ear. "We'll do whatever we can to get your memories back. And if we can't, well…we'll make it work somehow. But I promise you, 2B. I promise I won't let anything else happen to you."

As the two of them sat there, still ensconced in rubble, 9S thought he felt 2B's arms come up to return his embrace. But he knew that this must have simply been his imagination.