The story is not ded, don't worry.

Be happy.

Y-2013: Yes, they WILL be visiting Karakura in that one episode where Anarchy sisters actually go to Japan. Long way to it, tho.

Guest(Mar 9): I'll let you go into that theory. ;)

Guest(Mar 21): Not telling.

Super heavy weapons guy: Thanks!

justsomerealguy: Well, your opinion doesn't matter, and neither does your existence.

infadinityfollower: Got more, got more...and got more.

SilentXD7: Thank you kindly - and I'm not saying anything about the pairing(s).

Guest(Mar 6): Don't worry - here's some more.

Charles(Guest): You wound me.

Charles f(Guest): Number one - ikr? Number two - Yes, yes I did. Number three - thx. Number four - my lips are sealed.

Guest0: Wait no more, anonymous guest!

DISCLAIMER: Last disclaimer, since I'm sick of doing the same mantra over and over again. And this is technically a semi-crackfic, I pretty much don't give a shit.

Let's go!

Ichigo was pleased to find himself waking up calmly and quietly in his bed.

It was a quiet Saturday morning, and Ichigo expected his father to burst into his room anytime soon with a telegraphed flying kick.

But he came to his senses when he quickly realized that it wasn't his bed at Karakura, but at the goddamn Daten City Church.

Being able to wake up without any sudden flying kicks was, to be honest, a pleasant feeling - which he might just get used to.

And frankly - he needed that quiet morning, since the day before was pretty fucking weird.

First off was the fight between the Anarchy sisters. Then he got into a fight with some wannabee edge lord. And finally - he had to rescue Brief from Garter's...

Advances.

The wording, the meaning, shit - even the word itself almost made Ichigo vomit from disgust. He didn't have dinner that evening, even when Brief kept nagging him on giving him a free meal for moving him out of Garter's reach.

If Urahara's idea for a joke was to send him to live in a church with a pedophile priest...

'Then Hats'n'Clogs deserves a good old-fashioned whipping, followed with encasement in a straight jacket before I personally ship his ass to the nearest asylum for the criminally insane alongside Garterbelt.'

Alas, Urahara was also his teacher and friend, no matter how annoying he is. And Garterbelt was technically his boss.

But hey - a guy can dream!

Anywho, everything seemed like a start of an ordinary day - Ichigo brushed his teeth, put on his clothes and went straight to the kitchen to get himself some breakfast.

For some reason, both Panty and Stocking were there before him, Panty eating something that resembled a mix of cereals and porridge, while Stocking was reading a magazine.

"Good morning Panty, Stocking."

"Heya there, Berry Boy."

"Morning Ichigo."

Yesterday, after the encounter with the dark-robed assailant, he found out that the sisters managed to settle their differences in order to beat the Ghost duo that has been terrorizing the people in the block.

Simply put - the Anarchy sisters overcame their SS and were now acting like family. A small, disfunctional family, but still - a family.

By the way, SS stands for Sister Spat.

Just saying so you don't get any ideas.

Ichigo was just about to take a bite of the freshly toasted piece of bread when suddenly a wild Garterbelt appears!

"NOTHING!"

And he looked like his face was literally going to burst in seconds.

"What? It's too early for this ruckus!" Panty said in an annoyed manner.

'Agreed.'

"They're gone! Gone!"

"What's gone? Your sperm?"

Ichigo had to cringe a bit at the comeback. Garter responded in a weak-sounding voice:

"Be silent, child."

A pregnant pause ensued before the boiling black clergyman...

Get it?

Boiling Black Clergyman?

...

Though crowd.

He yelled at the top of his lungs:

"I am unable to release my load! The tissues are gone!"

Garter then pulled out his afro from the door frame, and it looked like it was going to burst like a bubble any time soon.

The priest was slowly approaching, which caused the blonde angel to retreat a bit, while Chuck was neurotically flying all over the place.

Panty panicked and literally spat out:

"Oi, oi! Stay back you fucking priest!"

The bits of porridge from her mouth fell on Garter's face, to which Chuck immediately started licking his face to eat them up.

"You nincompoops!"

Panty however did a 180 turn in her approach as she sat in a seductive manner.

Ichigo swore he heard some jazzy saxophone sounds as Panty said:

"Out of tissues? That's what the mouth's for."

And to that, Ichigo simply said to himself outloud:

"Nope. Not dealing with this shit. Hey, Stocking?"

"Hm?"

"Do tell me when all of...that is finished."

"Sure."

As he thanked some unknown higher power that made Stocking cooperate with him, Ichigo put on his headphones(which he literally pulled them out of nowhere) and played random on his phone.

Safe to say, Ichigo did enjoy the random song, so he made sure to memorize it down. He looked on his phone and typed in a note that said - Relax, Frankie goes to Hollywood.

If only he knew...

And just as the song was finished, Ichigo was blown away from his chair and landed on his face.

"What the fuck is going on now?!" Ichigo screamed at the top of his lungs, but quickly took notice the bored faces of the angels and somewhat...happy face of Garter.

Ichigo would not get the answer to his question now as a lighting bolt struck down Chuck. As every actions results in an equal and opposite reaction...well, opposite may not be proper term...

Ah fuck it - the thunder bolt hit Chuck, who as a result, spit out a piece of torn up paper.

"It appears that the paper plant has been overrun."

And to that, the tireless trio left the kitchen, not waiting for the rest of the potential info Garter may provide.

Or any of the priest's cliche one-liners.

For plot-related reasons, of course.

TIME SKIPARU!

"I'm sick of his shit."

"You can say that again."

"Oh, a red one!"

The kids were currently driving in See Through in the earliest time of the morning. Though Ichigo still had no idea that the world was literally falling apart due to the widespread disappearance of tissue papers.

Quite honestly, Ichigo didn't feel like doing anything meaningful today for some reason.

Perhaps it was his gut feeling telling him that.

Or maybe it was simply one of those days when you simply lose all will to do something productive.

"Bingo! There it is!" Panty excitedly said as the trio hastily drove towards the obviously abandoned paper plant. Ichigo on the other hand didn't feel that excited at all.

"That's a disturbing silhouette." Stocking noted.

"Smells suspicious." Panty added after.

"Like your breath that can be smelled for miles? Ever heard of a toothbrush?" Ichigo asked in a dead-pan manner.

Panty blushed, and tried to contain the smell from her mouth and muttered an immediate excuse:

"That's from the clam chowder!"

'The fuck is clam chowder?'

Even the sudden transmission from a sweaty crying Garterbelt who gave them objectives they already knew and kept saying through the bad static that it was all 'his fault' didn't actually ring any alarms in him - whatever they were about to face, it was probably something trivial.

Though it was kinda funny to see Panty accidentally breaking the screen after repeatedly slamming it like a cavewoman.

Zangetsu is rubbing him the wrong way, it seems.

'Heh.'

Ichigo didn't even mind the minor bump they had while driving - eh, Panty probably ran over some garbage.

"God, he's worthless." stated the blonde angel.

Ichigo decided to step in by asking:

"Come to think of it, did he ever do something, I don't know - useful? Beside trying to sexually assault Brief."

See Through went to a sudden stop as both sisters glanced at each other for some time before setting their stare on Ichigo.

"Nope."

"Nu-uh."

SIX POINT NINE SECONDS LATER...

"Oh? That guy is kinda cute! Wait..."

Upon closer inspection, the guy that was in Panty's sights as a next possible fuckbo- I mean, lover, was covered in a white-ish substance. He sported a shocked expression as his body was literally frozen in a running motion.

Sorta like those ancient Roman sculptures, the only exception being that semen was used instead of marble..

Of course, Ichigo doesn't know that.

Yet.

"He's frozen stiff." Stocking added

"Any idea what could've caused this?" asked the Substitute Shinigami.

"No idea...but what I do know that this place - smells of coins." Panty let out a creepy chuckle after that statement.

Both sisters slammed the doors wide open, and the Substitute Shinigami followed right behind them.

The power was out, so there weren't any working lights in the paper plant. However, the sisters and Ichigo noticed that almost every nook and cranny of the factory was covered in very suspicious white goo.

"Looks like it's the same stuff that froze that guy." Ichigo inquired as he approached the puddle for a closer look. Panty then said:

"This place looks pretty fine to me."

"You can tell? Not bad for your first time." said Stocking.

Before Ichigo could speak out his mind, a small screechy voice came from an unknown direction and said:

"Who's there?"

With that, a pack of small ghosts materialized from the shelves and faced the trio. The miniature ghosts represented some sort of soldiers, if their white helmets and white-colored rifles were an indication.

"Don't interfere with our work!" another of the small ghosts screeched.

"THEY'RE SO CUTE! I WAN'T TO SWALLOW THEM ALL!" Stocking yelped as she had both of her hands on her cheeks.

On the opposite spectrum, Panty took the whole situation seriously(which was a surprise for Ichigo) as she asked:

"So you're the ones who did this! You really made a mess of the plant..."

'Ey King, there's something funny about the little runts...'

Some of the small ghosts tried to contain their rage by biting their 'lips'(which nobody took it seriously, of course).

"If it weren't for this plant... the accursed General Scottie..."one of the ghosts was holding a box of tissues and immediately threw it on a pile of other goo-covered boxes,"...would have never shown up!"

"The tissues here turned us into Ghosts! So we're gonna destroy them!"

Now Ichigo couldn't really take... all of this seriously since, despite their large numbers, the Ghosts weren't strong enough to scratch either one of them, much less hurt them.

But for some reason, his Hollow was now laughing like a deranged maniacal hyena on drugs after the small Ghost finished his sentence.

'Oh God, this...this is just PRICELESS!'

'What is priceless, huh?'

Zangetsu composed himself for a short moment before saying:

'Those Ghosts are actually - human semen that was wasted on paper tissues.'

And then he proceeded to laugh again.

"What?" Ichigo blurted outloud.

Come to think of it, these Ghosts do have a shape of a sperm...the knowledge being a courtesy of his dad's books when he was THOROUGHLY explaining the birds and the bees.

Ichigo sported a blank stare at both the sisters and the Ghosts that covered the whole goddamn factory in...

...

...

...

Nope. Nope.

NOPE.

Ichigo interrupted Panty's speech of their actions being some sort of 'twisted revenge' by instantly going into his swapped color-palette outfit.

And then he proceeded by literally smashing every last of those Ghosts on the farthest possible wall using only the massive Spiritual Pressure coming from his sword as a knockback force.

"We didn't have stroke of a chance!" were the sperm-like Ghost's final words as he got splattered on the wall.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

"Well, that was...anti-climactic." Stocking dully noted.

"The hell Berry Boy?! I mean, nice job and everything, but you could've at least waited for us, you know - teamwork and stuff?" Panty flapped her arms around.

'That's really rich, coming from her...'

"I really don't wanna hear it. Not from you, not from the shitty priest, not from anybody." Ichigo said as his expression remained somewhat neutral.

"First I'm gonna take a shower, and then I'll lock myself up to study for the upcoming tests, while trying to forget that this EVER happened." the Shinigami added.

Unfortunately for Ichigo, it didn't take long for Panty to put two and two together.

"You never jerked off Berry Boy?"

"I'm not a raging pervert like you, blondie! I had more important things to do with my time!"

"Like what - saving the world?" Panty remarked in a sarcastic manner.

The statement was, however, true. But Ichigo here really wasn't in the mood to talk about the whole thing, so he simply said:

"Don't have to prove anything to you. Later."

The Shinigami then Shunpo-ed out of sight, leaving the two sisters inside a cum-covered paper tissue factory.

"Ey, Stocking."

"Hm?"

"Why does he take the See Through if he can just randomly teleport all over the place?"

"It's a speed technique, you dolt.."

"Pfft, whatever."

Yet another silent paused ensued between the two Angels.

Out of nowhere, Stocking asked:

"Wait, what exam?"

AN: After 6 whole fucking months, I've finally managed to beat my laziness and update the chapter.

What, didja think I had some serious issues regarding my personal life?

Fuck no.

Honestly, I could literally shit out 3 chapters per week - I am perfectly capable of doing that.

The reason why I'm NOT doing that is because I'm a lazy fuckboi.

Yep, this chapter is a bit shorter than I wanted too be, but oh well.

You know, I'm still amazed at how nobody, and I mean NOBODY managed to figure out the meaning of the names of the chapters.

Welp, off to write the new RWBY Dimensional Cinema! chapter.

Be productive.

\[T]/