Fate/first order derivative
Part III.9

⇒ continue: iteration 29, day 8, afternoon

Everything clicks together in my head all at once. I stand there frozen as Caster - or at least someone who looks like her - squeals and starts rolling around on the floor gleefully. "I got her I got her I got her eeeeeeeeeee!"

On the television screen, the entire floor of the main hall collapses into the lake as the shadow's tendrils rip the woodwork into shreds. There's a bright flash of light, and the screen cuts out to static. It was a trap. The entire room, Rin included.

I turn and stare at the madwoman as she lies giggling on the floor. "You... I told you about the shadow in the lake on Monday. You went to go find it, didn't you?"

She snickers and sits up. "Dumb Lilyhead. Kept wondering why her puppets didn't come back. So she went to check herself."

"It ate you and Assassin."

She nods. "Went inside, went inside. Talked to him. After that, everything just made so much more sense."

⇒ him?

On it. "Him?" I ask - actually, I forget. What did we decide we were going to call this, uh, type? Not-Caster? Anti-Caster? Something like that?

⇒ how about alt-caster

What, like alt-rock? Fine, whatever, works for me. "Him who?" I ask Alt-Caster.

"Oh, come on. You know. Him." She puts her arms around her knees and starts to rock back and forth, a big empty grin on her face. "The pharmakos? The blessed-and-cursed, the sacred corruption, the eater of sins. The spark of darkness, the lowest-made-high. The healing sickness. Katharma, perikathairō, peripsēma. He crawls towards Bethlehem, waiting to be born -"

"Okay, okay. I get it. That guy," I interrupt, since this doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere. "So you talked to him. Then, what... you tricked Berserker into getting eaten by the shadow, too?"

"Oh, no." She looks a little insulted. "Nothing like that. I just asked and he went."

I raise an eyebrow. "And that worked?"

"Well, okay." Alt-Caster shrugs. "I guess I did help that I had this." She snaps her fingers.

One of the glass panels behind her lights up. I find myself looking into a large tank. Inside of it, in some kind of brackish water, floats Illya. She is unconscious, naked - a fact that I very much do not appreciate at all, thank you... and also missing all four of her limbs.

⇒ fuck

I quickly avert my eyes. Am... am I really seeing this?

⇒ afraid so
⇒ stay calm and keep her talking

I'll try. Alt-Caster jumps to her feet. "And, y'know, I was really hoping things with Saber were gonna be that simple too. Just - poof! Just use a Command Seal to summon her straight up."

She points. Another panel nearby the TV cart lights up. And there's Shirou, of course - naked, unconscious, limbless, except for the arm with his Command Seals on it.

"But he only had one left, so I couldn't. But then I realized - if I just left you down there with her, you'd be smart enough to find a way to bring her up here to me! And you did!" She beams at me with genuine gratitude. "And now I get to play with her too!"

I feel sick. "... why Saber, though? What do you need her for?"

Alt-Caster giggles. "She's just so cool, you know? And besides... what girl doesn't want to get swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor?" She pauses and tilts her head. "Well, okay... Master's my knight in shining armor. But you get two knights when you play chess, don't you? So why can't I?

"You wanna meet him?" I guess she takes my stunned silence for a yes, because she skips over to the glass bench in the room's center. I swallow and reluctantly follow her. The bench - no, glass coffin, really - lights up as I peer inside.

It's Kuzuki. In the same state as Illya.

"You know, when I went to him with the knife, he only said one thing?" Alt-Caster sits down next to the coffin. "He just asked me if it would help me. When I said yes, he didn't even try to fight. He just let me do it." She rests her head dreamily on the glass, just over Kuzuki's limbless torso. "That's why I hate him most of all."

⇒ jesus

I take an unsteady step back. "So... uh. What about Assassin's Master? They in here too somewhere?"

"Huh?" She raises her head. "Oh, I didn't say? I'm Assassin's Master."

I blink. "You can do that?"

"Shhhh." She smiles mischievously and puts a finger to her lips. "I cheated. Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Sure," I say faintly. Unfortunately, that leaves me with only one question I can think of. It's the one I really don't want to ask. "So... all these glass things around. Are all of them, uh... occupied?"

"Most," Alt-Caster says matter-of-factly. "I keep havin' to add more. There's a lot to fit in, you know? The monks, the maids, all the people from town..."

Even though I'm expecting it, I feel a shiver go down my spine. "Why... why would you do that."

"What do you think, silly? Safety!" She looks at me like that's the most obvious conclusion in the world. "If I take too much of their mana, it could kill them, right? This way, they won't fall or move too much or whatever."

⇒ ask her what happens if they're removed from the tubes

"Could you maybe... let them out at some point?" I ask weakly.

"Nope!" she says, far too cheerfully.

"Can't or won't?"

"Both! They die if I do that!" She shrugs again. "And anyway, I need their mana. Without that, this place wouldn't be able to float no more. And then everyone wouldn't get to live in a flying castle." Going by her expression, she seems to consider this a perfectly reasonable trade-off for being a comatose quadruple amputee.

I swallow again. "... don't suppose you've given any thought to quality of life issues here, have you?"

"Huh?" Alt-Caster gives me a blank look. "What's that?"

"That's kinda what I figured."

⇒ yeah okay
⇒ might be time to try and find an excuse for a graceful exit here

When all else fails, go with the classics. "... hey, um, is there a bathroom around here somewhere? If that's okay with you, I mean."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that."

I do not like the sound of that. I carefully take another step back. "... why?"

"The stuff inside the tubes takes care of all that for you," Alt-Caster says casually. "In fact, if you really need to go... guess it's probably about time anyway."

She waves her hand. Five of her mouth-headed skeleton puppets spring up out of the floor. They're a bit different from the ones I've seen before. First, their left arm ends in what looks like a large hacksaw made from bone, while the fingers on their right hand resemble scalpels. Second, they're all dressed in nurse outfits - as in the fetish-y costumes they sell online, not scrubs or whatever. Neither change strikes me as much of an improvement.

⇒ shit

Oh, fuck no. I retreat a few more steps back. "Can't we talk about this?" I plead.

"Eh, I'm bored with that now. And my throat is starting to do that thing where it gets all scratchy, you know?" Alt-Caster smiles and waves. "But thanks for the conversation, Mr. Talky! Don't worry - I saved you one of the nice tubes."

The nurse skeletons surge towards me.

⇒ nope

Nope! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope! I finally give into instinct and bolt for the exit.

I make it down to one floor before I run into another skeleton squad sweeping their way up the stairs. Nowhere to go.

I rush down a hallway and pick a door at random. I wind up inside what looks like a big messy playroom. At the center lies this absolutely gigantic pile of stuffed animals even taller than I am. No time to think. I dive into the pile and worm my way inwards.

I hear the door creak open. I hold my breath. They file in one by one, bony heels crushing stray Legos. I hear them spread throughout the room, all around the pile.

Then they just stop. And wait.

Don't breathe don't move don't breathe. Do I even need to say how much I don't want this to happen?!

⇒ nope

I mean - fuck, losing a hand was bad enough! And now all four limbs?! And what happens if I don't reset when it happens?! What if I'm just... stuck there? In a jar? Forever?!

⇒ i know
⇒ just hold in there

Hold in there for what?! Saber and Rin are gone! Shirou's... God, I can only hope he's comatose. Fuck only knows where Lancer and Archer are. The military's stuck outside. Don't have a weapon. No cyanide pills or poison teeth.

Just what the fuck am I supposed to do?!

⇒ hope

How?! For what?!

I see light as a hand shifts away the big teddy bear in front of my face. A maw of bone stares down at me, its jaws open wide.

There's a blur in the air. The skeleton collapses into ash.

Archer stands in front of me, blades in hand, looking utterly exhausted. He bears a nasty-looking spear wound in his side, the bloodstains blending into his red coat.

I nearly start to cry from sheer relief. Thank God. Thank fucking God.

He looks down at me. "Saber?"

I shake my head. "Where's Lancer?"

"He's not coming," Archer says grimly. "And Rin's gone."

"Yeah."

"Come on." He reaches in and grabs me by the back of the neck, plucking me straight out of the pile -

ZZRRRP

⇒ download complete

I haul Lancer back up to his feet. "Come on," I mutter. "While we've got an opening."

Lancer coughs up some blood. I imagine that has something to do with the two handaxes embedded in his chest. Nearby, Assassin Alter's body slowly begins to dissolve into mist. Lancer finally figured out a way past that phasing/temporary non-existence bullshit: he deliberately let Assassin's attack hit him, then blasted him with his Noble Phantasm at point-blank range. Not exactly an ideal solution, but hey, it worked.

Which just leaves us with one large problem. On the other side of the room, Berserker Alter feels his way down the wall towards the open gate. Four lives. That's all I could manage before the mana supply from Rin cut out.

"Hold on there, chancer." Lancer pushes me off, leaning on his spear. "Back a bit. I got one last trick ta play."

I step back, eying Berserker carefully - he might not have ears, but I think he can still feel vibrations through the air. Lancer traces a few runes onto the ground. A huge standing stone - a menhir - sprouts up from the ground. Vines wrap around Lancer and pull him to the rock, binding him upright.

"The hell is that supposed to do?" I hiss.

"Simple," Lancer whispers. "Keeps me on my feet. Long as I'm standing, I won't die. Not while an enemy still breathes before me. Wouldn't be much of a hero otherwise, would I?"

"But you can't kill him," I counter. "You know that, right?"

"Now yer gettin' it." He nods down at the blades in my hands. "Borrow one of them sewing needles off ya? Could use an extra ting."

I reluctantly pass him Kanshou. "You don't have to do this."

"What, and miss me chance at immortality?" Lancer grins. "On yer bike, Archer. Go find yer girl. And when ya do, tell her I made myself useful, will ya?"

I don't have the heart to tell him the truth. "... thanks."

I make a run for the gate. Seems that Berserker can still sense mana to an extent. He looks in my direction -

"OI, GOBSHITE!" Lancer beans the monster in the head with Kanshou's hilt. (Oh, sure. Go ahead. Use it that way, why don't you. It's not like I've got a limited supply of mana left and might not be able to make another one or anything.) "ARE YE STARTIN'?! I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY!"

Berserker roars and charges the tall stone. I pass through the gate and rush up the staircase I find there. Not that I have any clue what I'm heading towards... now that Rin's dead -

"- genuinely do hate you, you know that? I mean it. You -"

ZZRRRP

Archer drops me like I'm a live grenade, sending me spilling to the ground, legs only partway out of the stuffed animal pile. I pull my face out of the carpet and look up at him. "Oh, come on. That was not my fault."

He growls in the back of his throat. "Get up. We need to move."

I struggle to my feet and chase him down the steps. At least it's easier sprinting down the stairs than up.

Naturally, though, it doesn't last. As we close in on the base of the tower, I see a red tendril slam into the wall down the steps from us. Followed closely by the shadow itself.

I grab Archer by the coat sleeve. "Fuckfuckshit back upstairs! Back upstairs NOW."

"Towards Caster?!"

"Still better than this shit! Trust me!"

We turn and rush back up as the shadow floods after us. Fortunately, it seems to pause on the third or fourth floor. I risk a glance back and see it head into one of the rooms there. I guess it's taking its time for some reason?

⇒ no time don't question it

As we reach the bottom of the stairs up to the floor that Caster's on, Archer stops us short. He pulls an arrow out from beneath his coat and flings it up at the ceiling. It explodes, producing a shower of rubble. He grabs me beneath the arms and wall-jumps us up through the hole and up to the next level - in other words, past Alt-Caster. Bypassing a boss fight. I can get behind that.

Unfortunately, another three floors up, we find ourselves on the roof of the tower. The only feature up here - aside from the stairs we came up - is a flagpole with a banner bearing the image of a certain super-copyrighted mouse. No sign of any piles of rope or laundry lines or convenient scaffolding. Guess she hasn't gotten around to seeing Aladdin yet. Just my luck.

⇒ one jump ahead of the madgirl

I glance down over the parapet. Long drop. Really long drop. "Think you can get us down?" I ask Archer.

"Uh, maybe? I'm running pretty low on - aw, balls," he says glumly as rune circles pop up in the air all around us. Damn it. Busted.

"Okay, rude." Alt-Caster appears in a flurry of white sparkles, her arms crossed irritably. "Do I come over and blow up pieces of your house?" She points. The circles of death all focus on Archer. He raises the white blade.

"Hey, hey, wait," I say, trying for a distraction. "Aren't you gonna wait until your buddy gets up here? Add another Servant to the collection?"

"Mmmmh..." She tilts her head. "Nah. I don't fancy him. Too surly."

"Oh, well, fuck you too," Archer grumbles.

"See?" Alt-Caster raises her hand. "Buh-bye, Mr. Red...

"... oh." She looks down in dull surprise at the sword point sticking out of her chest.

Behind her stands Saber, her blue dress torn and ragged, her eyes full of silent rage. Her left arm is gone. She holds Excalibur in her right hand, its blade buried in the magician's back.

"Oh." Alt-Caster coughs. Tar-black ichor stains the front of her white robe. "Okay. So this is happening, I guess."

White static surrounds her. Two skeletal dragon wings - fashioned from gold - burst out of her back, pushing Saber out of the way. Alt-Caster leans way forward, giant claws growing from her hands and feet. In a flash, Archer steps in front of her and drives his knife down at the back of her neck. Too late - a golden skull sprouts from out of her head, shattering the blade's tip.

"All the powers of hell an' stuff," Alt-Caster mumbles.

⇒ oh i get it
⇒ she's pulling a maleficent

Where Alt-Caster stood, a golden dracolich, even larger than the ones we encountered on the way here, unfurls itself and roars. With a swipe of its wings, it takes to the air, knocking the flagpole aside.

I rush over to the Servants. Archer's bow appears in his hands. He pelts the dracolich with arrows as it wheels around back towards us. The beast seems to pass through the explosions without a scratch. It dives towards us, strange energy crackling in its open mouth.

"MOVE!" Saber grabs me with her one arm and retreats down the stairs. A beam of light bursts out from between the dracolich's jaws and immolates the entire rooftop in green flames.

The next thing I know, we're all crouched down next to the stairs on the floor below the rooftop, Archer included. He looks up at the ceiling as the dracolich passes over us with a roar.

Saber looks to me. "Where's Shirou?"

"You don't wanna know," I say hollowly. "I saw what happened downstairs. How'd you get away?"

"Rin." Saber looks away. "She detonated one of her gems after we hit the water. The blast gave me just enough room to get clear... mostly." She glances at her missing arm. "That... thing is still hunting for me, I think. I tried to lead it away and double back, but..."

"We saw it downstairs. Looked like it was headed up here."

She sighs. "Of course it is."

Another blast of flame rushes down the staircase over our heads and scorches the wall. As it clears, Archer pops up and fires a shot off as the dracolich swings by again.

"You got anything left, Saber?" Archer asks as he crouches back down. "I'm running on fumes here."

"Just one." Saber looks at Excalibur. "I may have enough mana left to use my Noble Phantasm. But there's a problem."

"You don't say."

"I believe I will be able to trigger the attack in my current state," Saber rasps. "But without two hands, I won't be able to direct it. The sword will annihilate everything in the surrounding area. Including us."

"So... Excalibomb?" I say. She nods.

I run through the numbers in my head. City's likely been evacuated by now. We're exhausted, injured, and stuck between two monsters. Lancer's on his way out. Rin's dead. Shirou and everyone else on board would likely wish they were dead, if they could... anything to add?

⇒ can't think of anything

"... yeah," I say. "Yeah, I think we're at that point."

Another fireball rockets down the stairs. "If you're gonna do it, Saber, you better do it now." Archer notches three more arrows on his bow. "This trap could close on us any second now."

"I will need some time." Saber staggers to her feet. She steps back away from me and plants the sword into the ground before her. "Cover me as long as you can, Archer."

"I'm in no position to make promises."

The side of Saber's mouth twitches wryly. "Fantastic."

She pauses. The not-quite-a-smile fades. "... there is something else I must say."

"What?" Since I can't do anything useful right now, I might as well supply the leading questions.

"I believe there should be no secrets between allies about to die together," Saber says. "As such, honor compels me to -"

"You do realize that one of us gets to walk away from this, right?" Archer shifts his eyes towards me.

I shrug. "I mean... he's right."

"All the same, I -"

I hear a loud crash as the dracolich lands on the roof above us and tries to shove one of its claws - is that the right word? What do dragons have, anyway? Feet? Paws? - down the stairwell. Unfortunately, the entrance is just a little too small for it. Archer peppers it with arrows until it gives up and takes off again.

"All the same," Saber continues, "there is one final issue I must address.

"Archer. Why have you been trying to kill Shirou?"

"Whaaat?" I grin. Then I notice the five-megaton glare she's got fixed on Archer and I stop. "C'mon, Saber. What are you talking about? There's no way he'd -"

"Really, Saber." Archer just sounds tired. "Is now really the best time for this?"

"Now is the only time for this," Saber growls. "Will you give me your answer directly? Or do I have to go through it all step by step?"

Archer avoids her gaze. He doesn't say anything.

"Very well." Saber tightens her grip on Excalibur. "What happened Wednesday puzzled me at first, since nothing else in the kitchen seemed to be poisoned. Then I remembered that mana surge the night before. That was you absorbing everything in the fridge besides the bitter melon cola into your Reality Marble, wasn't it? You needed to make sure Shirou brought that exact drink to school the next day, since it was the only thing that could cover up the taste of the poison you planned to add. Some derivative of nightshade, correct?"

"... atropine," Archer mumbles. "S'a drug used to treat nerve gas exposure."

"I thought as much."

A massive jolt shakes the entire tower as the dracolich rams straight into the wall to our side. The stone refuses to buckle, though, and the only thing it accomplishes is to knock some dust loose from the rafters overhead. Solid German engineering, I guess.

I look back and forth between the two of them. They're... they're serious?

"I did not understand Thursday's attack until I saw the 'trick' you used on the wards earlier." Saber's eyes remain fixed on Archer. "That was Tristan's blade, wasn't it? The Sword of Mercy, effective against barriers, but sworn to never again take a life. I realized then you would have seen Assassin's weapon when I challenged him on Monday. I suppose that's all you require in order to fashion a replica, isn't it? It might still have fooled me, had not all of Rider's wounds been made by an axe of some sort."

Archer mumbles something under his breath that I can't hear.

The dracolich lands on the rooftop again. No fire this time, though. Instead, I hear talons scrape against the stonework. I guess it's trying to dig its way through to us now? Great.

"Last night was simple by comparison." Lightning flashes alongside Excalibur's edge. "I didn't sense any magic. My Instinct would have detected any sort of mortar fire or remote attack. The only solution is some sort of modern explosive, planted by someone familiar with both the house and Shirou's habits while we were away. You would have had time to dig something up while Rin was in the hospital. I imagine by that point you must have been getting quite frustrated."

"Oh, you have no idea," Archer growls.

"I suppose I wouldn't."

Excalibur glows brighter. Golden particles begin to drift up through the floor.

"And so I ask you once more, Archer." There's a dangerous edge in Saber's voice now. "Why?"

Archer sighs. "Don't suppose there's any chance I could convince you I was acting under Rin's orders?"

"You could not." Saber narrows her eyes coldly.

Archer sighs. "Yeah... I didn't think so.

"But all right." He suddenly jumps to his feet. They face each other, the golden specks floating in the air between them. "If we're really doing this... how about I put it this way. Remember your own wish for the Grail, Saber? The real one?"

Saber shifts her jaw. "You couldn't possibly know -"

"Oh, trust me. I do." Archer stares her in the eye. "So here's my question... what would you do if you didn't need the Grail to get what you wanted? What if it was possible to take a direct approach?"

"But if you... that would mean..." Saber's eyes go wide. "... oh no..."

I'm lost here. Are you lost here?

⇒ i think that's the point

There's a loud crash from down below. An iron door rockets up the stairs and bounces across the floor into the back corner. I see the flash of a familiar red tendril.

Fuck. Shadow's here.

I leap to my feet. Archer immediately puts an arrow into the roof. It explodes and collapses onto the downwards staircase, filling the entrance with rubble. "We're out of time!" he barks. "Saber -"

"On it!" A vortex of light bursts into existence around Saber and the sword, the air swirling around them like a tornado. "Soldier's dream!" she chants. "Hope of the oppressed! My friend! - I call upon thy power one last time!"

Game plan, game plan, what do I do? Try to get in between Saber and the shadow, I guess? I take two steps in that direction. Then a huge crack in the roof opens up above our heads. The dragon lets out a furious roar. Son of a -

"Rho Aias!" Archer raises his hand. His shield appears over us as the first jet of fire descends. Looks pretty thin in terms of layers, though... he wasn't kidding about being low on juice...

"With thy name, I seal my final prayer!" The aura around Saber intensifies. What's with this in-the-name-of-the-moon crap? She's never had to do that before.

⇒ had to guess
⇒ maybe a password or an unlock code of some sort
⇒ this is kinda her self-destruct

I look anxiously down the stairs. I can already see the shadow oozing through the cracks in the rubble.

"For God, church and country!" Saber roars. "EXCALI - what?!"

That can't be right. Wait, why's she looking over here -

Someone grabs me from behind, pale arms folding around my chest.

"... dickweasels," I hear Archer mutter as everything disappears into white static.

Yeah, okay... now that I've heard someone else say it, I really don't think it works.

The next thing I know, I'm in the sky. Staring down at the city below, my feet dangling over a five-kilometer drop.

"Look, look!" Alt-Caster whispers urgently into my ear. She clutches me to her chest, her white cloak whipping around us. "You're gonna miss it. Any second now -"

She jostles my head in the direction of the island, floating in the distance before us. Just as she does, there's this feeling of void - a negative pressure, like the universe taking a deep breath...

The tower explodes in a massive cross-shaped burst of gold light, burning the sky with the intensity of a thousand suns. Excalibur rips the entire island into shreds, casting the rubble down onto the skyscrapers below. I hear Alt-Caster laugh with delight as the shockwave washes over us. Like a kid at a fireworks show. It is kinda a neat explosion, I guess.

I swallow as the light fades. "Um, didn't Saber -?" I ask - or at least I try to. I get a couple thousand meters stuck in my throat midway through.

"Oh, just another puppet," she says dreamily. "Another illusion. I told you about illusions, didn't I? Hush, though. It's not over."

The hell does she mean by that? Reluctantly, I look down at the city. At the massive pile of earth and rubble that landed next to the Center Building, all that's left of the island.

I hear a loud, inhuman shriek from below. It starts above my upper hearing register and descends, building in volume.

The shadow erupts from beneath the rubble. It's huge now, comparable in size to the buildings around it, and it's assumed a vaguely humanoid shape. A giant made of night. As I watch, it takes its first step forward.

"You see?" Alt-Caster giggles. "Do you see it now? He can't be stopped. Won't stop. He's been waiting in the dark for so very long, you see? Plotting and planning and making sure everything's just as perfect as he can. For his Bethlehem. He's ready. Ready to be born.

"Wanna know a secret? You wanna hear his name?"

"... okay?" I squeak.

She leans in closer, her breath tickling my ear. "Aŋra," she whispers. "MAINIIU.

"Okay, I love you! Buh-bye!" she says cheerfully. And drops me.