Author's Notes: This fic is a collaboration between me (GradeASexual) and my good friend all_possible_worlds. APW does not have a account, but they post their stuff on AO3. They write the excellent ongoing Star vs. fic 'I Summon the All-Seeing Eye' (Warning: Very NSFW content).

Anyway we hope you enjoy this alternate take on Lint Catcher!

"Man, Star. I'm sorry. I feel like I just crash landed into your life," the boy finally apologized, as they both made their way down the long spiral stairway which led to the sub-basement of Butterfly Castle.

It was a sorry excuse for an apology, to say the least. If he had simply called her beforehand, perhaps this whole debacle could have been avoided. He had ruined her date with Tom. It had taken about a week to schedule a time for it, given how busy Star was these days with her royal duties. She supposed Tom was busy as well, although she couldn't for the life of her recall an instance of him being the one to cancel plans on her. It made the princess feel all the more guilty that she was ditching her boyfriend to just basically tour Marco around.

In fact, Marco hadn't called Star at all since he got back to Earth. Not even a thank you message for sending his hoodie back. She remembered how hard that had been; like removing the soiled bandages over a stab wound, sanitary, yes, but also really painful. Yet, in time, the wound had healed, and she had learned to accept that her best friend and herself lived different lives, in different worlds. So why on Earth or Mewni was Marco here now?

"Well, we figured it out," she replied, as nonchalantly as she could manage. She felt so irritated at her friend right now. Was she being unfair? After all, she did it to him once. The crash landing thing.

She had barged into his life out of nowhere, making it weirder and wilder than it had any right being, putting him in mortal peril, more than once. But she had grown since then. She had matured. Marco himself had taught her early on why that had been bad, and she had learned that lesson well enough. So why was he now acting like he didn't know any better? Like he was just as clueless as she had been almost a year ago. She was nothing like that anymore. Nor did she wish to be.

When danger came to her for real, when darkness closed in, she had tried to protect Marco, to run away, so that Toffee would not go after him, the person she cared about the most. She had princessed up, told him how she felt at the time, and then left Earth to keep him safe. Yet he came back for her. He rushed to Mewni to help her, or at least to accompany her as she fought Toffee. To be by her side, to be her best friend.

Eventually, of course, he had to go back home, and she had decided that she needed to stay in her own. Mewni needed her. It needed everyone who was willing to help repair the damage Toffee had caused. Marco had business elsewhere, and thus he left, with many things left unsaid between them.

Instead, months later, he stammered, "Yeah... um, cool. Wow, heh. Check out all these stairs. Sure are a lot."

Yes, Marco, that's right, lots of stairs. Lots and lots and lots. And yet, somehow, not enough!

"So, what does Jackie think about all this?" she ventured the question that had been in her head for a while.

After all, she was the reason Marco had gone back home. Sure, his family was there, as were his friends, and school. But it's not like Star didn't know who he had been dying to see again every day he was in Mewni: his girlfriend, Jackie Lynn Thomas. She was, after all, the girl he had pinned after ever since he could remember. Lucky him! Star meant it, honestly. Good for Marco. Way to go dude!

So, then, where was Jackie now?

"Oh, well, she wasn't really into it... but... you know me. Ain't nobody telling me what to do," he chuckled. Star stared back at him in disbelief. He sighed, "That-that was a joke."

A really unfunny one.

Star could tell Marco was having trouble with this conversation, but she felt too confused herself to sympathize. He had just turned her whole day upside down, the least he could do was to talk to her like a normal person.

He continued, "Ugh. Actually, yeah, she... she broke up with me."

Oh, that explained it! Of course! 'Hey, Star, best friend, how you doing? Sorry I haven't called you in weeks, and haven't visited you once, even though I have dimensional scissors and could be here in a blink. I was too busy hanging out with my super-cool girlfriend. But hey, she dumped me now, and suddenly, I remembered you, my dear bestie. Let's hang!'

Star Butterfly, Princess of Mewni. Star Butterfly, Vanquisher of the Immortal Monster. Star Butterfly, backup plan. Yeah, right, Marco. I got bad news for you: that's not going to happen!

"Well, I'm very sorry about that," she replied, as politely as she could manage. She wasn't actually sorry, but it wasn't like she was happy at the news either.

They neared the door now, and the mewman princess was surprised to discover how much she wished to resolve the matter, to get rid of her bestie. It wasn't like she didn't want Marco around. It was just that... she didn't want Marco around. Ugh, why was this so complicated?

"So... are you and Tom," he began asking.

"Yep!" she cut him off. It made her feel no better to say it. With all the princess-like grace and diplomacy she had always been famous for, she changed the subject, "Oh, look, here's that door we were walking to."

In all her life, before or since, never had Star been so glad to see Lavabo's hairy old face, peering out from inside a pile of laundry. She just hoped the ancient knight would have enough sense not to bring up anything about Marco's hoodie...

The ungrateful ass!

"Okay, Marco, here's a job…" "No, not that job! Another job…" "Princess me up something better!" Star mumbled to herself as she finally reached the castle's first floor. She made her way through the Royal Garden, ignoring the flowers she was angrily stepping on. He didn't appreciate what she did for him! Didn't appreciate her one bit!

He wanted to be a knight? 'Sure, let's make you a squire! It's literally step number one for what you said you wanted to do, here you go!' 'Oh, great! Thanks Star!' But no, of course that's not what she got. She got demands on top of demands, requests on top of requests, and not one bit of gratitude for her trouble.

How was she going to make him a squire inside the castle, when no other knight was looking for one? Come to think of it, why should she? Why was it that Marco assumed that she would do whatever he asked of her?

'Easy, Star, because you have a crush on me. You like me, and I know it. You said so in front of everyone. So, go ahead, jump for my entertainment!' The princess frowned at the notion, a crown of thorns sprouting around each of the hearts on her cheeks.

Distracted by such vexing thoughts, and carried forth by the momentum of her brisk stride, Star didn't even see the person she collided with. The princess fell backwards onto the grass. She mumbled as she quickly pulled herself off the ground and dusted off her dress, assuming, at first, that it was just a tree that got in her way.

Star then looked forward to see who she had ran into. A certain someone that no few would believe to be a creature of evil, a corrupting influence on her young and malleable mind. At one point, she might have agreed. But Star had come to see that same person in a very different light recently.

"Sorry about that, Star," Tom said, rubbing his forehead. "I didn't realize you were in your own little world when I came up to you."

"Tom! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" she apologized profusely. It was bad enough that she had left during their date, and now this? And it was all, mostly, Marco's fault.

Her boyfriend was still sprawled bum-first on the grass from the impact. A year ago, Tom would have already burned a crater into the ground for Star's clumsiness. But he was instead smiling at the situation. It was so refreshing for Star to see the demon smiling at her mistakes for once.

"Sorry for what? Give me some credit. It didn't hurt that bad." Tom extended his hand for Star to grab.

Star did him one better, though, and used both her hands to pick him up by the shoulders and placed him on his feet.

Tom blinked a few times. "Wow, you've gotten a lot stronger recently," he said in an impressed tone.

Star gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "No, I could always pick you up. I just didn't want to hurt your sense of manliness back then."

Tom chuckled and rubbed one hand through the back of his head apologetically. His ego had indeed been somewhat fragile in the past, it was such a relief that they both could laugh about it now. "Fair enough. I guess that's one explanation for you being able to defeat an immortal monster."

The two were holding hands and began staring at each other, getting lost in their own thoughts. It was something they did quite often, actually, since becoming a couple again. Star then realized she sorta owed Tom another apology.

"I'm sorry if it felt like I ditched our date for Marco," Star said. "To be honest, I thought you had already left."

Tom gave Star that patented 'kicked-puppy' look. "Do you really think I'd leave without saying goodbye first?"

"Well, didn't you have to leave early today because of some prince stuff in the Underworld?"

"I cancelled those plans," Tom said. "Turns out Brian is not only an amazing counselor, but also an awesome secretary. I had him go and do that stuff for me. I'm not about to let some drama down there prevent me from seeing you."

Star was glad. Tom's schedule always seemed to be more flexible than hers, but at least that meant seeing more of him.

"So, is it true that Marco's living here from now on?" Tom asked.

Star rubbed her arm. "Um… yeah, looks like it."

Tom smiled. "For real? That's great! I haven't seen the guy in forever. You must be happy to see him again too."

Star didn't expect that reaction from Tom. She wished she could share his enthusiasm. In fact, she forced a smile and tried her best to do just that. "Yeah, it's... great. Super great. Amazing, even. Everything is so perfect right now."

"Star, please don't get mad," Tom raised both hands in a calming gesture, "but well, you know that wasn't exactly convincing, right?"

Tom was right. Star couldn't hide it. She turned away to think about how she was going to word this before saying it out loud.

Tom put his hand on Star's shoulder. "What's wrong? Did Marco do something?"

Star looked at the ground. "Marco's… really confusing me right now. He says he wants to become a knight of Mewni, so he's squiring for the Wash right now, but…"

"Buuuuuuuut," Tom said in anticipation.

"But… it all seems like a lame excuse. I found out his girlfriend on Earth broke up with him, so I feel like he just came here for attention."

Tom nodded. "Alright, let's give him some! I was actually hoping we could all hang out today. I just realized we've never done that as a group of three before."

Star shook her head. "It's not that simple."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a princess, Tom. Everyone expects so much from me right now. I don't have the time to help Marco. I barely have time to be with you. I just don't know if I can balance him along with everything else going on in my life."

Tom gave an immediate rebuttal. "Well, first of all, no one expects anything from you. I'm pretty sure that's just high expectations you've set for yourself."

Star couldn't really disagree with that. But still, her kingdom was in horrible shape after the whole Toffee crisis. Not to mention the bad reputation it now had with its neighboring kingdoms. She couldn't just ignore that.

"Secondly, we're still teenagers. We have to make the most of that fact until we take over our parents' jobs. You may never have time for Marco once you become queen."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Star said. "But it's not just that. Marco's been acting like a jerk, too. Like, he decided he was living here without even asking if I was okay with it. And then he kept demanding a better job than the one I got him."

Tom's expression didn't change, as if what Star had told wasn't surprising at all. He sighed. "Take it from someone who's been dumped before, bad break-ups change a man. They start getting defensive, feel like what happened to them wasn't their fault, and that makes them act entitled to everything."

Wow. That kind of described the old Tom to a T. And Marco was sort of acting that way too. But...

"That's just an excuse, though. A lame one. It's not like a bad break-up is mind controlling Marco into being a jerk. He's choosing to act that way." Not to mention the fact that Marco didn't seem the least bit bothered by the break-up itself.

Tom blinked, then awkwardly scratched his head. "Yeah, that… did seem like a lousy justification for how I used to be. Sorry."

Star looked at Tom for a moment. She remembered the Blood Moon Ball, and the fake career counselor drama. The demon prince had spent an entire year trying to get back together with her. It was flattering, in a way, but at the same time, it had been mostly unnerving, stressful, and more than a bit creepy. The problem back then wasn't that Tom liked her, but that he was so obsessed with winning her back that he had ignored her own feelings on the matter.

Then, the moment he had given up in his pursuit, he began seeing the same things about him that worried Star, and decided to do something about it. He had decided to change, not to get her back, but for himself. Honestly, that had made him like ten times more attractive, and Star had quickly remembered all of the things that had made her like Tom the first time around.

Yes, Tom had changed. He was improving himself. And he liked Star, a lot. Star herself was trying to improve as well by being a better princess. She dared say she was succeeding somewhat, in ways that one year ago she would have hardly dreamed possible.

Meanwhile, Marco hadn't changed at all since the beginning of the summer. If anything, he had regressed. Adopted the things about Star that she wanted to move away from: her lack of consideration, her recklessness, her shirking of responsibilities to run away from home on an inter-dimensional adventure. That last one was kind of specific.

Star grabbed Tom's hand. "I don't want you to feel bad, Tom. That person isn't you anymore. I'm just trying to say that Marco is acting super weird, and I'm dealing with plenty of weirdness already. I mean, my ancient grandmother who may-or-may-not be evil is here too. I have to draw the line somewhere."

"So… do you want him to stay?" Tom asked.

That was the real question. As much as Star treasured Marco's friendship, he, and Earth in general, represented a form of escapism that was ever so tempting. With Marco here, she'd have an excuse to go on random adventures in other dimensions again. It wouldn't be like her and Tom, who stayed within Mewni for their play-dates.

There was a reason Star gave away Ludo's dimensional scissors to Janna. She needed to stay put on Mewni. She wanted to be a better princess.

But with Marco around, it would be too easy to fall back into old patterns, to undo the progress she had made in these last few weeks. That is, if things could even go back to being like they used to. After all, things hadn't exactly been normal between the two of them since even before the whole Toffee situation.

When Tom realized Star didn't have an answer to his question, he continued. "Look, I'm not saying you should forgive Marco, and you have every right to kick him out if it comes to it, but it sounds like he's not going to change his behavior unless we say something to him. Heck, if it wasn't for him calling me out on how I used to act… well, I'm not sure I'd be with you right now. I feel like I owe it to him."

Star smiled. She had no idea Tom valued his friendship with Marco so much.

Tom quickly noticed Star's smile. "Also, don't ever, EVER tell Marco I said that just now. If you do, I'll…" Tom stopped to think for a second. "I'll... take a sip of your corn shake without asking!"

Star gasped dramatically. "So abusive! I thought you had changed, Tom!"

"Sorry, girlfriend," Tom said, crossing his arms, and putting up a mock bad-boy smirk. "I may be a reformed demon, but I'm still a demon."

Star gave him another peck on the cheek, and Tom instantly deflated.

"Okay, you convinced me. I'll talk to Marco later," Star said.

"Oh, um, okay," Tom said, still recovering from the kiss. "Where is he now?"

"He's squiring under Lavabo, but I don't think we should interrupt them."

"In that case, I suppose our date just got an extension," Tom said with a devilish smile. "If Marco's busy now, do you want to get some ice cream in the Underworld?"

"Sure!" Star said. "But… couldn't we just get ice cream up here? What's the difference?"

"Oh, ice cream in the Underworld is the best kind. Of course, you only have five seconds to eat as much as you can before it melts, but that's half the fun."

"Okay, I've got to try that!" Star said with excitement. The change in scenery would be nice.

"Let's go then. My carriage is parked outside."

"Which way is it?"

Suddenly, Tom stepped around her and, slowly, gallantly, put his hands on her shoulders. "Don't worry. I'll lead the way."

Without saying anything else, Tom began massaging Star's back and neck, and immediately unknotted all of the stress she had been accumulating for the past few hours, and some that she had been carrying for weeks. Tom liked her, really really liked her, and he was not shy about letting her know that. It felt good to be liked back.

Eventually the two stopped their flirting and left the Royal Garden, holding hands with smiles on their faces. Despite being provided with a healthy distraction, Star's mind wandered back to Marco.

She was still mad at him for how he acted earlier, but maybe the squirership would help him clean up his act. As quirky as Lavabo was, he did have a strange knack for helping people figure themselves out.

Either way, once she got back from the Underworld, she'd ask Marco how his first day as a squire went. She hoped he was having a good time.