A Cold Melancholy

Christmas in Vale was an amazing thing. The snow fell onto the city like a blanket, and it reflected the lights of the city, like a prism. Ruby's window was a gorgeous painting right on her wall. She stared out into the world, and she knew why Vale was called 'The City That Never Sleeps.' The big city was always bustling with life, and Christmas morning was no exception.

Ruby Rose had been in Vale over four months now, yet the metropolis still seemed strange to her. Maybe it was just the fact that Vale was as different from Patch as one could get. Patch was a little town where everybody knew everybody else. Every family had some kind of connection to another, even if it was something as simple as the children being friends with each other. Patch felt like it was just a really big house, with the entire community being one big family.

Vale was big city living at its finest. The place was the kind of metropolis that small town kids dreamed about. It had the huge, sprawling towers, a wild nightlife, coastal amusement parks, and just the sense that you could get lost in it all. Ruby grew up on stories of the place. Her mother grew up in this city. It was even where she met her future husband...

Ruby sighed, her eyes falling to her feet. Haven't talked to dad in a while. Hope he's okay, she thought. She could see people walking on the sidewalk down below, couples, families, and the few loners in between. Wonder where everyone's going...

The young woman grew up on her mother's stories. Both the fictional, epic adventures of heroes and stories of Summer growing up in the massive city. But living in the place now, Ruby had no idea how her mother could have done all the things she did. Summer skated on ice rinks, went to famous landmarks, and did all sorts of amazing things. But Ruby hadn't even been to Emerald Park after four months of living in Vale.

Mom promised me we'd go together, she remembered. But that promise was made a long time ago. Before Ruby met Adam, and before her little family was torn apart. Back when she was just a little kid with an overactive imagination, and two of the greatest parents in the world.

Silver eyes widened for a moment as she felt someone touch her hand. There was no one else in the room but herself, but she learned a long time ago that herself was all she needed. Ruby smiled as her left hand gently stroked her right.

"Thanks, Yang."

Were someone to be watching her, they would have thought Ruby was just talking to herself. Her apartment was empty. No roommates, no guests, no one but herself, standing by the window in an ugly Christmas sweater she had bought for herself.

But Ruby never was alone. She had the voices in her head to keep her company.


She was five years old when she met her best friend. She was shaking underneath her blanket, so sure that monsters were going to devour her. She remembered holding her favorite stuffed animal, a fat, round crow with a tiny little beak, and large, black eyes. She was clutching the bird, begging for the monsters outside not to eat her.

Then a voice called out to her, and Ruby was so sure she felt a pair of hands hold her. "Everything's going to be okay. There aren't any monsters, and even if there were, I'd kick their butts!" At first Ruby was terrified of the voice, like anyone would be. She asked who the voice was, and she didn't get an answer for so long, she wondered if there ever was a voice. "I don't think I have a name, but I know I need to protect you."

The voice kept talking to Ruby, and the two soon decided that she was a girl judging by the way her voice sounded. The voice would ask Ruby about herself, about her family, about the little stuffed crow in her hands. All to try and calm her down and help her forget about any monsters outside. And when there was a tapping at her window, and Ruby nearly screamed in terror, the voice embraced her again.

"It's okay. I'll look. You stay here, okay?" Ruby slowly nodded her head. "I can't see anything. Can you move the blanket?" Again, Ruby nodded, lifting it up slightly. "I... I can't move my head. My neck feels so stiff... I can almost..." It was then that Ruby realized something about the voice. She could only see what Ruby saw, like they shared the same eyes. The little girl gulped, before lifting her head to stare out the little hole. "Okay, I can see the window..."

It was one of the strangest feelings the child had ever experienced. Her eyes were focusing on the window, but she could barely see it. Her vision became fuzzy as she saw the window in perfect detail. It was hard to comprehend, and even harder to describe.

"It's just a branch poking your window. See?" Ruby's vision turned back to normal, and she saw what the voice did. There really was just a branch poking at her window. "Nothing to be afraid of."

"I… Thank you," the little girl whispered.

"No problem. I got your back, Rubes."

From that night on, Ruby and the voice were best friends. The two would eventually agree on a name for the mysterious voice, deciding 'Yang' was perfect for her.


"No problem, sis. You okay?" Yang asked. Her voice was like Ruby's, only lower. More mature. That was a side effect about being one of Ruby's alternates. No matter how different Yang and Ruby were from each other, they still shared the same voice.

Ruby's right hand pulled away from her left, and the young woman could feel Yang relinquish control back to her. The young woman pulled her eyes away from the window, and sighed. "This is our first Christmas out of Patch. The first one away from dad. I guess the place just feels a little empty..."

She couldn't see Yang, but she could still feel her sister's eyes on her. Her sister was probably annoyed that Ruby was bringing their father up again. Yang hadn't forgiven him yet. Ruby wasn't even sure if she had.

"Yeah, but come on! We got the whole place to ourselves! We can do whatever we want! Isn't that cool? Whatever we want, Ruby!" But she wouldn't let Ruby hear the frustration in her voice. Yang put on a happy smile, and did her best to comfort her younger sister.

"Yeah, I guess it is, I just-"

"Would you two stop being so loud?" a third voice groaned. The voice sounded like Ruby's, but there was a measured tone to it, like a scolding teacher. Weiss always wanted to sound like she was in control...

"Sorry, Weiss." Ruby smiled at the sound of her friend's voice. She could feel Weiss rolling her eyes as Ruby walked over to their kitchen.

"It's fine," muttered the voice. "Just impossible to study with you two yelling in my ear."

"Who studies on Christmas?" Yang wondered. "Then again, Blake is spending the day reading… What's wrong with you two?! It's Christmas! We should be partying!"

"Yeah, no. I don't think so. We still have an essay to finish, remember?"

"It's practically done!"

Ruby shook her head in amusement as the two voices bickered. She searched the cupboards and drawers for a snack, glancing at the food the others had picked up. Weiss has her fancy chocolates that no one was allowed to have (They were really good), Yang had the snacks she got solely for how weird they were, like soda flavored pop-tarts (They were better than they should have been, honestly), and Blake had her shrimp-flavored chips (Gross).

Ruby finally found her own snack: a box of cookies. She opened it and began to toss the sweet, crunchy treats into her mouth, walking out of the kitchen.

"Not more cookies," groaned Weiss. "Ugh, I can taste them on my tongue. Oatmeal? Really?"

"I ran out of chocolate chip," Ruby shrugged.

Her, or rather their, apartment was a pretty nice place. The only doors were the front, bathroom, and bedroom door. Everything else was easy to walk in and out of. The kitchen was just next to the living room, and Ruby laid down on the couch as Yang spoke.

"Hey, Ruby! How about we watch a movie?" Yang suggested. "One of those stopmotion films we used to watch back home? It'll just be like old times!"

Ruby smiled slightly at Yang's attempt to cheer her up. "Sounds good. I can make some popcorn for us."

"Great. Kid movies," sighed Weiss.

"Blake? Do you want to join us?"

There was momentary silence as the three waited for an answer. Blake was the fourth voice in her head, third chronologically, and typically the quietest. Finally she replied. "Sure."

Despite how annoyed she sounded, Ruby knew Blake was happy to spend time with their little family. Ruby sat down on their couch in front of the TV as Yang took control of Ruby's left hand, grabbing the remote and flipping the screen on.

"Whoo! Movie time!" Yang shouted.

Ruby plastered a smile onto her face as she stared at the screen. She agreed with whatever movie Yang suggested, not really caring what was put on for the four.

The young woman had lived with her unique condition all her life. Her life never seemed out of the ordinary, and the voices in her head always felt like family to her. Even when her own family fell apart, Yang, Weiss, and Blake were there for her.

Yang was Ruby's sister. Weiss and Blake were amazing. She wouldn't give the three up for anything, or anyone.

But when you live with something your whole life, you get curious about what life would be if it was... different. Ruby Rose loved her family, and she always would, but no matter how much they talked or lived through her, she'd glance at the other side of the couch and find it empty.

No matter how many times Ruby spoke to Yang, Weiss, and Blake, it was only her voice bouncing off the walls.

She was lonely, something Ruby didn't think could even be possible for her. Ruby Rose was lonely, and all she wanted was something, someone, to call hers.


Vale was an amazing city. Jaune Arc had lived in the Big Apple all his life, and strangely enough, the city had become like a childhood friend to him. It was always there, ready to help him get his mind off of whatever was bothering him, whether it was an upcoming test, his parents, or just the general day to day problem, the city always proved a nice distraction for him.

A distraction was just what he needed this Christmas afternoon, what with Ren and Nora in China.

He told his best friends he'd be fine alone on Christmas, and he meant it. Ren hadn't been back home in over a year, and Nora had never even been to his hometown, let alone to China. Not to mention she'd finally get to meet her boyfriend's parents face to face. They deserved to go, and they deserved to spend Christmas and New Years together with Ren's family.

The only thing stopping them had been Jaune. Ren's parents could barely afford their son and his girlfriend coming over. They couldn't loan the money for a third wheel.

So Jaune decided to be the good friend, and told the two to go. They got an amazing holiday season, and Jaune got to spend the holidays alone for the first time.

It would be a nice change of pace, he told himself.

Jaune inhaled the cold, winter air, before letting out a long sigh. "Never been better," he muttered to himself. His phone vibrated, knocking him out of his little world. He walked down the sidewalk, phone in hand as he looked at his messages.

Ren and Nora were together, beaming with joy with, who Jaune assumed were, Ren's parents. Everyone looked so happy. Ren was wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, and Nora was waving at Jaune through the photo. A text followed the image.

'Merry Christmas! You okay, Jauney?' Jaune read. Sounded like Nora sent the message. Jaune's thumb hovered over the buttons as he thought about what to say.

He should say something to show them he was course, Ren would probably see right through any lie and realize something was wrong with him. That was the problem with best friends. They always know...

It wasn't a total lie, though! Jaune was doing pretty well for a wanderlust 20-something. He was delivering pizzas while his two best friends were halfway across the country. He was a college dropout while Ren and Nora made futures for themselves. He was alone on Christmas, while…

Wow. I am terrible at making myself feel better. Maybe that's why Jaune was out on Christmas Day. A nice walk, get lost in the city, forget about his troubles and woes…

He replied to the text with a simple smiley face and nodding emoji, before hitting back on his phone. Should probably text mom and dad, wish them happy holidays or something… But when he got to his contact list, one name stood out.

Pyrrha Nikos…

Jaune took a deep breath, and sighed again, watching as the warm air vanished into the cold. I… I should really say something. But what was he supposed to say? 'Hi, how are you? I saw your latest commercial! Pumpkin Pete rules!' Or maybe, 'So I know things ended kind of poorly between us, but how are you? Want to spend New Years together again?'

Yeah, there was really no way of talking to Pyrrha without things being awkward. Not to mention she was busy being a television star, and probably just wouldn't have time for him.

Jaune sighed and relaxed his arm, letting it dangle at his side as he began to walk again. The cold air of Vale stung his nostrils, but it was refreshing in a way. Same way a pinch can feel nice. Reminds you you're awake.

He could practically hear Ren and Nora worrying about him. He'd been staying with the two ever since he and Pyrrha broke up. Jaune didn't have nearly enough money to support himself in a decent place, so the two opened up their house to him. Jaune got a couch to sleep on, a place to eat, a place to be himself…

It was nice. It was better than nice, it was one of the nicest things anyone could have ever done for Jaune. Ren and Nora were amazing to him, better than he deserved, honestly. He knew housing a third person wouldn't be easy on their lives, but they still did it.

I should really get them something nice when they get back, he realized. He thought about what to get them as he remembered a text he received last night. He pulled out his phone and quickly found the number of Hazel Rainart.

Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up…

Jaune had been working at Hazel's Pizzeria for over a year now. It wasn't a bad job. The pay was decent for what it was, and being a driver meant he got to listen to a lot of music in the car. Hazel was just kind of...intense.

"What do you want, Arc?"

"H-hey, Hazel! How's your Christmas? You and your sister doing okay?"

"Gretchen and I are fine. Is there a point to this call, Arc?" He already sounded annoyed with Jaune.

"S-sorry. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. I just wanted to ask if you still needed a driver for New Years?"

"Be there from four to one," Hazel didn't sound like Jaune had many options as he flinched slightly.

"Nine hours? Sorry, I was just hoping to be out in time for the count-"

Hazel ended the call before Jaune could even finish. The blond sighed, but reminded himself that the money would be good that night. Hopefully he could do something nice for Ren and Nora, maybe treat them to a nice dinner or buy some games for their Playstation.

Jaune returned to his walk, enjoying the city's atmosphere. He told himself everything was going to be okay, that things were going to work out, but there was a nagging in his own head that just wouldn't go away.

He missed how things used to be, he realized. It wasn't a shocking revelation, or anything. He missed having a girlfriend to come home to. He missed the company. Ren and Nora were amazing, the greatest friends he'd ever have, but he wasn't blind. He was the third wheel.

And he knew Ren and Nora had to put on a show for him. The two were madly in love with one another, and they had to keep their hands off each other so they didn't rub Jaune's new single status in his face. The two were nuts for each other, the kind of love that other couples dreamed about having.

Jaune hated getting in their way.

Nora's right. I got to get back in the dating field. I've been mooching off them for too damn long. He dug his fingers into his palms and took another breath of the cold, winter air. No more feeling sorry for yourself, Jaune! You got to get back in the game! In fact, I'm going to talk to the next woman I see!

Jaune lifted his head up high and grinned, only to immediately freeze as he saw a woman approaching him. The woman had two very distinct features about her. Her hair, which was a stark white. So white, that Jaune had just thought it was covered in snow, but no. She really did just have white hair.

She certainly wasn't old, sure, a few years his senior, but she was very attractive. Of course, that led to the second thing he noticed about her. Her police uniform.

"Ah… Heh. M-ma'am," he greeted, holding up his hand to wave at the officer. Her blue eyes glared at him, before she gave him the subtlest of nods. Next year. First girl I see, next year…

The cold air blew against his body as he sighed. Merry Christmas, me.


Ruby kept her eyes on the TV, but her mind was far away. It was a trick she had learned growing up with her alternates. She kept a loose hold on her body as her mind retreated deep within the recesses of itself, far from Yang and the others.

To put it into perspective, it was like someone locking themselves in a room to be alone. As far as Ruby knew, Blake, Weiss, and Yang each had their own. A little corner of the brain where the others couldn't hear their thoughts.

Ruby imagined it was as close to normal as she would ever get. She entered her Room, and watched as the white walls inside were painted, and furniture just materialized around her. Each Room was controlled by whoever owned it. It was as simple as imagining what it looked like.

The young woman sat on a sofa and sighed, melting into the soft cushion as she stared up at the ceiling. Ruby's Room was a carbon copy of her own apartment, down to the TV and the scratches on the floor. The only real difference between her Room and reality was that she was actually alone, and for a time, that was all she wanted.

The time had long passed, though.

I should give Sun a call, she thought to herself. She saw memories of herself and her childhood friend play on the TV, and she smiled at them. He had been a good friend to her, even after she explained her condition to him.

She wanted to take control of her hand to grab her phone, only to relinquish it as another memory played on the television. Sun's face glared at her, screaming at her as his voice bounced around the empty room.

"What is your problem?!" Sun screamed at her. Ruby covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut as he only grew louder and more enraged. "Why don't you go back to your goddamn boyfriend, and leave me the hell alone!"

"Stop it!" Ruby shouted, and the sound of static silenced Sun. She opened her eyes and glared at the static-filled TV screen. "Damn it," she muttered, sitting up.

She could hear it in the air. Little voices trying to reach her through the static. She heard Sun's voice, but there were others. She squeezed her eyes shut again as she tried to ignore them, but they just wouldn't shut up.

And with the voices came more memories as the static shifted. She opened her eyes and she saw her father's eyes glaring at her through the television. His voice, his memory stung her ears.

"She wasn't well, Ruby, and neither are you. You have to stop talking to them. They're not real, and-"

"Shut up," Ruby hissed.

She saw her mother's face, screaming as men dragged her out the door. She was just a child as she watched them pull on her mother's arms, her father standing in front of her. "Tai, what are you doing?! Tell them I'm not sick! Tell them!" Ruby saw her father turn his head away, and she saw tears in her mother's eyes as the men pulled her away.

"Shut up…!" She stood up, glaring at the TV.

"It's okay. I've got you." Adam stroked her head, holding her as she wiped her tears against his chest. "Everything's going to be okay. I'll never leave you, Ruby." His voice used to sound so comforting. She remembered believing every word he said. "I love you."

"Shut up!" Ruby screamed, and the TV screen cracked, leaving nothing but a low hum echoing in her Room. She took long, deep breaths as she glared at the TV. She fell back onto the couch and sighed.

Nothing felt right. Ruby had been feeling this way for months now, but she buried it behind a smile. She couldn't let Yang and the others know. Ruby buried her face in her hands, trying to calm down as that familiar feeling fell on her shoulders.

It was like everything was numb. Like everything in her mind was just a big… 'blah.' School, home, life just melted together. She felt more alone than she had ever felt in her life. Her father, her friends, everyone important in her life was back at Patch, and even then, most of them hated her.

Moving to Vale was supposed to be a new start, but Ruby didn't know where to begin. Yang told her that everything was okay, that their life was good, but Ruby felt like crap. Nothing felt like it mattered, nothing felt right.

Everything just made her feel sick to her stomach.

Maybe it was just the realization, years overdue, that she was a freak. That having voices in her head made her a weirdo, made her sick, like her mother. Maybe it was just knowing how alone she was in the city, surrounded by thousands of people. Even with the voices in her head, she felt alone…

A loud ringing tore her from her thoughts, and sent her back to reality. She saw her phone vibrating as Yang's voice called out to her.

"Ruby? You okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm alright." Ruby had gotten good at lying to herself over the years. Practice made perfect, after all. She quickly picked up her phone and looked at the caller ID. "It's Neon." The name sent a groan of annoyance echoing through Ruby's Room.

It wasn't that Ruby disliked Neon, but the girl really was more Yang's friend than hers. Ruby had only talked to the girl a few times, and each time had been unbearably awkward. The first time had been especially awkward as Ruby tried to figure out why the stranger was talking to her, but thankfully Yang stepped in before things got too awkward.

When Ruby asked, Yang explained that she had met Neon at a club one night and the two had hit it off. Considering how flirtatious the woman had been, Ruby couldn't help wondering what their first meeting had really been like. Ruby had no way of looking at Yang's memories unless the alt allowed her to, and asking felt rude, so… Ruby just had to deal with the fact that her alternate personality had more friends than she did.

"Great, her," groaned Weiss, making no effort to hide her annoyance.

"Green is such a bad color on you, Weiss-cream. Can I talk to her, Ruby?" The woman nodded her head, and she closed her eyes.

Switching in and out was one of the first things Ruby had to learn growing up. It was a funny sensation losing control of your own body, becoming less aware of your own surroundings. Ruby could have returned to her Room, but instead she laid somewhere in their consciousness, listening and watching through her, now Yang's, senses.

"What's up, Neon?" Yang greeted. Ruby could feel her lips move, but it wasn't her speaking. Her lips curved into a smile, but she wasn't smiling…

"Hey, girl! How ya been? What are you up to? Oh, and Merry Christmas!"

"You too, Neon, and nothing much. Just…" Ruby could feel the hesitation in their throat. "-hanging out with family."

"That's awesome! Oh, I'd love to hang with your family! How long are they staying? Maybe I can-"

"Sorry, Neon. Everyone's leaving tonight. You know, work and stuff." It was a lie, obviously, but they didn't know what else to say. Ruby felt around her mind, wondering if Weiss and Blake were listening to the conversation or if they had gone back to their own Rooms.

"Aww, that's such a drag! Well, fine, cause your parents probably wouldn't want to hear what I'm about to tell you. This sorority one of my girlfriends are in is having this awesome party for New Years, and you so totally have got to come! We can totally count down together and stuff!"

Ruby had remembered asking her sister if Neon was trying to flirt with the Yang part of Ruby's mind. Yang just brushed it off as just being part of Neon's partygirl character. Considering how touchy-feely the girl could get, Ruby was somewhat glad Neon wasn't her friend…

"Come on, Yang! Can't blow me off this time! We are ringing in the New Year together, and we're doing it with booze and music!" Neon cheered.

"That sounds… uh…" Yang hesitated again, and Ruby knew why. Going to a party meant they were all going to a party. The four had gone out together in the past, but they always made a strict rule about parties and clubs. Yang was only even allowed to go to one once a month, with Ruby and the others not caring much for that kind of scene. "I got to help my folks, be right back!"

"Hello? Anyone listening?" Yang's voice asked. It took a concentrated effort for any of their voices to echo loud enough in their mind for the others to hear.

"Right here, Yang," Ruby replied. The two waited for a moment for the other alts to speak up, but there was only silence in their mind. "Guess Blake and Weiss went to their Rooms…"

"Great," sighed Yang. "So, what are you thinking, sis?"

What do you think I'm thinking? Ruby thought, something she had to be careful with. Mental conversation and just thinking to herself was a fine line. Actually talking to Yang and the others took conscious effort, so Yang shouldn't have been able to hear her worry.

Ruby just didn't like parties. They were uncomfortable, awkward, and everyone expected her to dance, which made her look stupid. She wouldn't know anyone at the party, and she'd probably just let Yang steer their body for that night.

"I mean, you can go if you want, Yang. I'm not going to stop you."

"Well, maybe… you should steer for part of it."

"What?!" Ruby felt their eyes widen, actually widen as she heard the suggestion. Are you crazy? Of course she was, Ruby was crazy, so ergo Yang was crazy, but their Dissociative Identity Disorder had nothing to do with what Yang was suggesting!

"Come on, Rubes! We've lived in Vale for months now, and how many friends have you made for yourself?"

"Well-"

"Zero. So maybe this'll be good for you, know what I mean?"

Classic Yang… Ruby loved her childhood friend and sister, but Yang was the kind of teacher that believed in pushing someone into the water to learn how to swim. Either Ruby would learn, or she'd drown. Oh man… "We should probably ask Blake and We-"

"I'll be there, Neon! You can come pick me up, right?"

"You know it, girl! See ya then!"

Yang ended the call, just in time for Ruby to scream into their skull. "Yang!"

"What? Come on, Ruby. You can't pull one off of your big sis. I know you've been feeling lonely,"Yang commented, causing Ruby to curse to herself quietly. Yang really could read her like a book. "A party's the perfect place to make friends of your own!"

"Wait, y-you're putting me in control for the party?!"

"Eeyup!" Yang dusted her hands together, clearly proud of throwing her sister to the wolves. "It'll be fine. Don't worry about thanking me, sis. Just have a good time."

"I… You…" Ruby couldn't find the words. Yes, she wanted to make friends of her own, but at a party? With drinking? And dancing? And drunk people?! Ruby groaned as Yang turned the movie back on and allowed Ruby back in the driving seat.

She took control of her body as she let out a long sigh. She already dreading the start of the new year.

Here's to another year…

END

And here begins a story I've long wanted to write… even if I'm about 13 months off from when I hoped to release it. Oops.

A story about mental disorders, family, love, and growing up. Ruby Rose has DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, and Weiss, Yang, and Blake are her alternate personalities. What that is exactly and how it affects her life will be further explained as the story goes, as will her history with her father, Adam, and Jaune's own personal trials.

I do make a strong effort to portray DID realistically, while still taking liberties to make a good story. I have a friend who knows more about the disorder than I do, so I talk to her a lot about it.

Also, this story is very alternate universe. The very core concept means that certain characters won't be as you know them. Weiss, Yang, and Blake are personality states, Hazel never lost his sister (no Grimm), Tai is a mix of Ghira, Jacques, and the canon Tai, and… Well, you'll find out more as the story goes on.

But I don't want to bore you with my rambling! I hope you enjoy this wonderful story, and I hope you stick with it! Leave a review, it gives me fuel to keep my writing! And please, favorite and follow if you'd like to.

Take care, be strong, and look forward to the next chapter where Ruby and Jaune meet.