Guys, this is a kind of epligoue-ish short fic. I didn't feel like I was done with One More Try, so I decided to not be done *shrugs*. It won't go on for tons of chapters, but here it is, anyway…

One More Try: Chapter One

ARIZONA'S POV

Two years later…

This day is really kicking my ass. Sure, it's the start of a new year…but I thought it would be easier than this. I thought it would be like it usually is. Nothing is how it usually is anymore, though. Nothing is how it should have been since two years ago when my life totally changed. I've managed, and I'm kind of coping, but I still hope. I still pray that I will wake one day and it will all have been a dream. I still pray that somewhere, somehow…she remembers me and she comes back to me. She comes back to me and the past two years didn't happen. I know that isn't ever going to be how my life turns out, but it's the only thing that helps me to get out of bed each day. It's the only thing that convinces me to pull on my clothes and come to work. Honestly, it's the only thing keeping me alive.

Yeah, she left me. Eliza. That woman I planned on spending my life with? She left me and she never looked back. Two years ago August just gone…she left me a note, and I never saw her again. I know she was having a bad time, and I know she was hurting, but she still left me. I was supposed to be the one who put her back together. I was supposed to be the one who helped her through all of her hurt. Just like she had helped me after the explosion. I was supposed to be the woman that she loved, but I was wrong. So very very wrong. I should have known that I couldn't be the one for her. I know she talked the talk, and for the most part…she walked the walk, but I was just the one she wanted to pass some time with. I was just the one she wanted to play with until her time at the university came to an end. Maybe the reasons for her leaving helped her to get out of our relationship in the end, but I deserved better. I deserved more than a note with an I'm sorry attached to it. I deserved reasons. Explanations. A chance. All I wanted was a chance, and she just couldn't give that to me. That tells me that she was waiting for the opportunity to leave. That tells me that everything she ever said to me was a lie.

She lost her mom. Three weeks after graduation, actually. We had just returned from a week away in Italy together when she got the call. She was devastated. Absolutely crushed. I understood that, though. I just put my all into being whatever she needed. If she needed me to hold her, I did that. If she needed someone to be angry at, I did that too. Even when she needed a little sex to help her forget, I dropped everything and gave it to her. I gave her everything I had…then she disappeared. Literally. You know, I've spent two years thinking about her every single minute of the day, and I still don't know where I went wrong. I don't know where my life went wrong. Maybe it all went wrong the day I met her. The day I gave into my heart. Maybe it went wrong when I allowed myself to become attracted to a phenomenally beautiful woman who would never want me around forever. I don't know. I just know that the more I think about her and what we were, the more I wish I'd never met her.

I promised myself last night that I was starting again. I promised myself that the first day of the new year at the university would bring changes for me. I'm trying, but she's still in my headspace. She always will be. She's like a bad dream that just won't go away. She is like a drug I'm struggling to rid from my system. She's a bitch. I called her. I text. I emailed. Hell, I even called the hospitals in the area to check if she had been admitted to any of them. Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. That was, until six months later when I received a handwritten letter from her in the mail. I can remember her words like I'm reading it for the first time, but I want to forget everything she said to me. If I'm ever going to move forward with my life, I have to try.

I mean, it's been two years. It's been two years since her mom took her own life…and Eliza took mine. Because she did. She may never see the hurt she has caused me, but I still feel it to this day. I still wake in the night and reach out with the hope that she will be beside me. She never is, though, and she never will be again. I'm beginning to come to terms with that. I'm beginning to come to terms with the fact that no matter what she went through…she ruined my life. She ruined it and she crushed my heart. She took it from my chest and she squeezed it so hard that my body will never feel the same again. Nothing will ever feel the same again. Its the story of my life, though. I mean, I haven't even kissed another woman since she left. I haven't dated. I haven't slept around. I have worked and I have gone home each night to complete loneliness and emptiness. I don't even see Alex as much as I used to.

He calls now and then but he knows when I need space. That's the reason we've barely spent any time together…I've needed a hell of a lot of space. More than I ever thought I'd need. Realising that I'm supposed to be getting on with my life, I grab my cell from the table I've been sitting at for the past forty minutes and pull up my best friends contact details.

Are you working tonight?

Hey, stranger. I am. Why? Alex

I was thinking of coming by to see you. If that would be okay? A x

I'd love you to come by and see me. I'm at the bar from 3. Alex

Awesome. I'll head over sometime this evening. A x

Setting my cell down on the table in front of me, I sit back in my seat and push my salad around my plate. I never eat in the cafeteria but I'm still very wary about going out to lunch since the explosion. I know it's not ever going to happen again, but I've closed myself off from everyone I know so even if I wanted to…I wouldn't have anyone to enjoy lunch with. Sighing, I drop my fork down on my plate and push my seat back. I have two more classes today and then I'm out of here. Out of here and enjoying a drink with my best friend. The best friend I've neglected more than I care to admit right now.

Heading for the trash, I discard my food and set my plate down in its usual spot. It's a routine of mine now, but that's just one of the things that have changed in my life. Heading out of the cafeteria, I take a left and make my way towards my office. That's one thing that hasn't changed over the years. "Arizona!" A voice startling me, I turn and focus my eyes on the mass of students milling about. "Hey!"

"Hi, Rachel." One of the new processors approaches me and motions for me to keep walking. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just a few of us are heading to the bar tonight. Did you want to join us, or?"

"Alex's bar?" I ask. "Down on Edmund?"

"That's the one." She agrees.

"I'm actually already headed there tonight but sure…it would be good to hang out with you guys." Stopping, I furrow my brow. "Wait, is Professor Janson going?"

"Jane? No." She shakes her head. "She's out on a date or something."

"Then count me in." I smile.

"Something happened with you guys?" She tries her luck.

"Nothing worth gossiping about." I shrug. "I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Sure will." She stops as I reach the corridor that will lead me to my office. "Seven okay with you?"

"Seven sounds perfect." Throwing her a wave, I weave through the students who are heading to their next class of the day and breathe a sigh of relief when I'm out of the crowd. Something about crowds still freaks me out but I have a job to do and a home to run. I can't think about it anymore. Taking my cell from my purse, I glance down at it and find a new message from Alex.

So glad you are coming by tonight. I've missed you! Xx

Smiling as I lock my cell and shove it back in my purse, I glance up and walk straight into the body in front of me. "I'm so sorry." I hold up my hands. "I should have been more aware of my surroundings." Brushing my hair from my face my eyes widen.

"Professor Robbins." That voice. How she says that. It sends shivers down my spine. I could never forget that voice.

"Excuse me, I have somewhere to be." Pushing past my ex-girlfriend, I close my eyes momentarily and try to stop the tears I know are about to fall.

"Arizona, wait!" I can hear heels clicking behind me but I can't do this. I've wanted her to come back for so long but now that she is in front of me, I can't even bring myself to look at her. "Arizona!" She grips my wrist and turns me around.

"I don't want to see you." My words barely above a whisper, I feel like I'm not in my own body. "Don't touch me." Backing away, she releases me from her grip and drops her hand. "I don't ever want to see you again." My head spinning, I turn on my heel and disappear down the corridor. I feel like I can't breathe, and right now…I need my office. I need to lock myself away and compose myself before I have to face my students. This isn't happening.

It can't be happening…

I wasn't planning to come to Alex's bar after my run in with Eliza this afternoon, but I need this. I need my friend. He's the only one who has ever been there for me and stayed, so yeah…he doesn't deserve to be let down by me again. I know he has a strong hatred for my ex-girlfriend but he also knows when it is and isn't appropriate to bring her up during our conversations. He tends to wait until I make her the topic of conversation nowadays. I can't blame him, though. I turn into a right bitch when I discuss her with alcohol in my body. Sometimes I wonder why he stands by me. Pushing the heavy glass door open, I catch sight of him and he waves me over. It's not quite seven yet, but I wanted to talk about my encounter with him and get a feel for his opinion. Sure, I know he is going to freak, but I'd still like to talk to him about it.

"So fucking good to see you." He pulls me into a hug. "And you're looking hot tonight." He pulls back and throws me a wink.

"Thanks." I set my purse down on the bar. "Meeting some of the guys from work and there are one or two new ones."

"Ah…" He smirks. "Finally getting yourself back out there?"

"Maybe." I shrug. "Depends what's on offer."

"Now that's the Arizona I know and love." He laughs as he sets down two shot glasses in front of me and fills them up. "You know, it's been really shitty without you here."

"I'm sorry." Placing my hand over his own, I give it a firm squeeze and a sad smile. "I'm trying to get back to myself, though, okay?"

"You know I'm with you every step of the way." He nods. "So, how're things?"

"Same old." I sigh. "Like, I was looking forward to coming here tonight…since I was actually invited by one of the professors, and then she happened."

"You have to let her go." He gives me a knowing look. "It's been two years. She ain't coming back and you don't need her in your life."

"Except she is back." I clear my throat.

"I mean, what she did to you? I know she liked to run, but to disappear like that and never contact you? No. Just no, Arizona."

"I said…she is back, Alex." His eyes widening, he studies my face but he knows I'm telling the truth. He knows I wouldn't lie about something like this. "Say something…"

"Like what?" He furrows his brow.

"I don't know. Like, that it's all going to be okay."

"I can't say that." He drops his gaze. "I don't know what her game is, so no…I can't reassure you or tell you what to do right now."

"Alex, what am I supposed to do?" My voice breaks. "It's been two years since I last saw her."

"I know." He grits his teeth. "But fuck, she has some nerve showing up in Seattle."

"She is free to go where she pleases, Alex. You have to remember that."

"You think she's back for you?"

"No." I shake my head. God, I hope she is. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, but I can't help it. There is a reason I've remained celibate since she left. There is a reason I've thought about her every minute of my life. I still love her. I'll always love her. "I'm sure she has an entirely new life. I just hope she is doing good and can leave me alone to get on with my own."

"I know you hate discussing her with me, but you know whatever you decide...I'll still love you. I'll probably always hate her, but if you want her back…if she wants you back, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that."

"She doesn't want me back, Alex." I give him a sad smile. "If she wanted me back, she wouldn't have waited two years to get me back. She wouldn't have ever left if she wanted me in her life."

"I guess you're right." He sighs as he throws a towel over his shoulder. "Just…be careful, okay? I can't see you hurt again, Arizona. It's too fucking much for me."

"I don't need to be careful." I knock back my shot. "I'm not the one for her." The bell ringing above the door, I glance back and find some of my colleagues making their way inside. "Hey." Rachel approaches me and Alex raises his eyebrow. "Behave, Karev."

"I'm just saying…"

"No!" I hold up my hand. "Don't just say anything."

"Fine. You can read my mind anyway, so?"

"Mm, I can." I slip off my stool. "And right now, my own is telling me to tell you to take yours out of the gutter."

"Just…enjoy your evening. You know where I am if you need me." He smiles. "Go and be you, Zo. You need this."

Smiling as I join the group of colleagues who are deciding on their drinks order, I grip the bottle of white Alex has just placed down in front of me and find a seat of my own. Rachel seems nice enough, so I think I'll head in her direction. Dropping down into the booth next to her, she gives me a smile and I pour myself a glass of wine. "Glad you could make it, Arizona."

"Yeah, me too." I smile. "Since it almost wasn't happening."

"Oh?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Just…exes, you know?" Waving off her questioning, she gives me a nod.

"You know how to fix that problem?"

"Nope…but I'm sure you're about to tell me." I laugh before taking my glass between my teeth.

"Get under someone else." Okay, is she flirting with me? "Nothing wrong with a little fun."

"Sure…but doesn't it always end in tears?" I turn in my seat a little to face Rachel better.

"Depends." She shrugs. "What are you looking for?"

"Honestly? Nothing." Pathetic, I know...but I cannot go through all of this again. I cannot continue to get hurt over and over. I deserve better.

"Then a little fun could be just the right thing for you." She throws me a wink and now I know she is definitely flirting with me. "I know all about her, you know…"

"Oh, I'm sure you do." I roll my eyes. "Since the staff at the university don't know how to mind their own business."

"They're concerned about you, Arizona."

"That's sweet but I'm just fine." Clearing my throat, I furrow my brow when a familiar scent hits me. Glancing up, I find Eliza standing just outside of the booth and watching me. "Can I help you?"

"I don't want any trouble, Arizona." She drops her gaze. "I don't expect anything from you." Standing, I brush past her and she follows me to a quieter area of the bar. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to get to know the staff."

"Why?" I scoff.

"Because it's my first week here and I have to include myself."

"First week here?" I furrow my brow.

"I'm a professor at the University." She sighs. "The last I heard, you had left."

"And I went back," I state. "Anyway, don't let me being here get in the way of your perfect fucking life." Shrugging her purse up onto her shoulder, my eyes widen as my heart sinks into my stomach. "Y-You…" Shaking my head, I drop my gaze. "You're engaged."

"I am." She gives me a sad smile. What the fuck does that even mean?

"So not only am I not good enough for you, or worthy of an explanation…you come back here and flaunt what you've achieved over the past two years?"

"I'm not here to flaunt anything, Arizona." She shakes her head. "I'm just here to earn a living."

"And you could have done that anywhere." I push past her. "You know, you may be perfectly fine and you may be happy, but you tore my world apart, Eliza. You completely ruined me."

"I didn't want that for you." She steps a little closer to me.

"Then you shouldn't have done what you did."

"I had to leave." She replies. "I had to get away from everything."

"Me included?" I raise an eyebrow. "You said all of the right things. You did all of the right things. I was just some fun for you, though…wasn't I? I was your experiment."

"No." She denies my claims. "That's not true."

"Bullshit!" I laugh. "I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you could move on with your life and find someone who loves you like I couldn't. I don't know where I went wrong, but I'm sorry I didn't make you happy. I'm sorry I couldn't be the love of your life. Just…stay away from me. Don't try to be my friend. Don't try to be my colleague. I don't want you in my life in any capacity."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." She sighs.

"And I'm sorry I wasted three years of my life on you." I scoff. "I'm sorry I was your first. Hell, I'm sorry I ever fucking met you." Moving away, I grab my purse from the table and head towards Alex. I just need a minute to fix myself up and then I'll rejoin my colleagues.

I just hope she is gone when I return…

Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.

Also, the final chapter of 'Can't Let Go' will be released tomorrow.