John Phillips stared at the floor with a hunched back and a heavy head hanging low. He interweaved his fingers with his own hands, clamping them in order to cope with the heaviness he experienced on his shoulders and on his own chest. He had taken the time to allow Monika's words earlier to saturate in his thoughts, and the more he delved into his inner mind, the more he could tangibly sense the pains she had gone through as he vividly imagined each and every scene she spoke of. Of course, there were details that were so abstract that he couldn't possibly understand or involve himself in - such as feeling a part of him residing in everything and everyone around him. It was a thought that sent chilling needles up and down his spine, and rightfully so. He couldn't even begin to grasp the intensity, the craziness of it all, and yet she had to go through it. It was devastating. How long did she endure this? How many times was she stuck in limbo, frozen and unable to move or feel anything, yet somehow be able to stare into the void and nothingness of her world's reality whenever the game was inactive And what was it like for her to have access to the worldwide web, being exposed to both the beauty and depravity of mankind as she aimlessly wandered to and fro, just to find someone to know personally and love intimately? And most of all...why was he the one chosen to be that very person?

It made no sense to him. Considering the fuss that some of his college friends (or rather, acquaintances) had built up over this virtual girl and looking into a bit of the Monika fanbase during his free time, she would have had plenty of chances to find someone who wanted her just as much as she wanted him. Not to say that he didn't like Monika or that he didn't want her attention, but he was convinced that any one of those guys would most definitely be more open to receiving her and much more of a better partner for her than he could ever be. Hell, some of these guys would practically dedicate their entire lives to her. And here he was, wasting his time being pathetic, not even believing this so called love that she had for him.

But honestly, could he really call that love?

She had only talked with him for not even three days - not to him through the game, but with him - and she was already flirting and showering him with compliments and affection, from how he saw things. Of course, she did come from a dating sim, which made sense, but even then it was a bit much. She couldn't even see him face to face or hear his voice. She never asked about his family, or much of his life, even if she was possibly intending to at some point. She didn't truly know him, and honestly, he found it foolish for her to fall in love with someone without truly knowing him. Especially when she fell in love for a failure like himself.

A resistance grew deep within his being as he meditated upon the words Monika spoke to him. After seeing firsthand the atrocities she committed within the game's script - which she had probably done hundreds of times over and over again through other games - he was skeptical about it. That uncertainty on whether or not he should trust her, however, seemed to waver a bit; after all, what would he have done if he were in her shoes? Wouldn't he have been just as desperate as her to find someone real in the midst of an illusion? Wouldn't he have tried to erase everything, even himself, if he didn't think there would be even a sliver of hope of escape? Was there truly any better way to handle that? Even if there was, it would be a lot easier said than done.

John let out a frustrated sigh as he fell backwards on his bed, causing it to bounce a little bit. It wasn't a spring bed, but the force of the impact was enough to disrupt the position of the mattress, be it ever so slightly.

"Why do I have to overthink things all the time? Why can't I just see things in a simpler way...and why the hell must I ask so many questions to myself?"

Half of the things he thought and spoke were in the form of questions. People would think of him as smart or a know-it-all because of it, but he always saw himself as curious, not smart. He was always curious about the intricate details, and while it helped him learn a whole lot, it would occasionally leave him even more confused than he first started, as he realized there were so many more details that he didn't know and that he couldn't find out. Yet again, he had to overcome this obstacle as he reflected on the phenomenon that was known as Monika. What would he do now? What would he say to her? What would he choose to believe?

"...Where do I even start..."

Deciding that he was taking too long to figure out what to do, he would simply get up from his bed, walk over to his computer desk, and sit down on the chair. Perhaps he could think up of something as he engaged. He would then move his mouse so that his Aurora Borealis screensaver would disappear and reveal Monika in her desk as always, with a longing gaze at the screen, her head leaning against the palm of her hand once more as she remained in a state of adoration towards whoever was beyond the barrier. He would then turn on the volume in his speakers, which would play a song that he didn't think he'd hear again. It was no longer that eerily ethereal soundtrack, but the first song that played after he started up the game (the name, which he would later look up on his own time, was "Ohayo Sayori!")

"Hey, Monika. Did you change the music?"

Immediately, she would close her eyes and smile at him, keeping her pose from before.

Monika: "Welcome back, John!~ I most certainly did. I figured it would help out with the atmosphere. What do you think?"

Now that he thought about it...

"I guess it does help lighten the mood a little bit."

Monika: "I knew you'd enjoy it! While I was looking through the coding, I came across the soundtrack for the game. After tampering with it a little bit, I managed to create an option that allows you to choose whatever song you want to play while we spend time together. Go on, give it a try!"

After her dialogue finished, a dark blue eighth note would pop up on the top right corner. John would grow curious and click on it, which popped up a list of the songs in chronological order. Everything seemed professionally designed, from the font of the letters to the spotted pink background on the popup. He would click on the first song, which would play the title theme. He just blinked and stared at the screen for a moment, unable to believe his ears. Once he came to his sense, he would then click on the second song, which returned the tune to what it was before. He would then click outside the popup, which would then immediately lead to Monika's next question.

Monika: "So...how is it?~"

"It's professionally done...like it's part of the game. How did you do this?"

Monika: "I've had plenty of time to figure out how coding works. It's not too difficult once you get the hang of things!"

This would catch John's attention, as an idea popped into his head. He never thought about how simple it could be to program a visual novel, once all of the assets were in.

"You think someone as average as me could potentially be able to program something within the game?"

Now it was Monika's turn to be curious as her emerald green eyes grew wide in surprise, before a slight smile would appear on her face.

Monika: "Hmm? Well, if you really are that curious, then I think you most definitely could. If you were able to look through the game files and attempt to reach out to me in the game, then you are definitely capable of understanding programming. I can teach you! I'm no tech wizard, but I basically know the ins and outs of this game. With the right knowledge, you can practically create any story you could possibly want in here..."

She would start to trail off, leaning her head against her hand once more with that same expression, one of longing as she passionately stared at him through the glass wall. If she could just reach out to him and break free from this cage she was trapped in...

Monika: "Think about it. It's nothing like your world, but we can make this game our own reality. We truly do have infinite choices. We can make our own little happy ending...although any reality spent with you by my side is a happy ending for me...~"

All that John could do was simply shake his head. How should he even respond to that when he didn't know how to feel about her? Part of him wanted to berate her for being selfish and manipulative, sparing nothing and no one to get what she wanted. But he could also see just how desperate she was. That was why he was stuck and couldn't make a decision on what to think. All that he knew was that he himself was not anything particularly special, or even worthwhile.

"Monika...why do you even want to be with me so badly?"

Once again, she would look genuinely shocked by his question.

Monika: "John...I already told you, you don't have to worry about that. What use is there in putting yourself down like that?"

He just couldn't muster up the confidence he needed in himself, even with her seemingly unyielding affection towards him. When was the last time he saw himself in a positive manner? He couldn't remember.

"I still don't know how there could be anything special about me compared to all of the others you've seen on your way here. Surely there must have been someone you got to talk with, or at least find out about, that was better than me."

Monika would simply shake her head with a smile on her face.

Monika: "You're more special than you realize, John. Believe me when I say that. I know it's hard to from someone you barely know, but I don't have any reason to lie to you."

Did she really? The way she worded that was skeptical.

"I...I just don't know.."

Monika sighed to herself. It looked like she was getting noticeably frustrated from his constant lack of confidence, and lack of faith in her words.

Monika: "Y'know, most guys in your situation would jump at the opportunity to have a girlfriend who would love them no matter what. Especially if nobody asked them out before."

Her comment seemed a little snarky, and as he really thought about the implications behind it, he felt hurt.

"Is that what you see me as? A loser who's desperate for love but too ashamed to admit it?"

She would then realize what she had said as she grew concerned now.

Monika: "...What? No, that's not what I meant-"

His anger would only grow at this point, as a rather less than decent idea popped into his mind. He wanted to see how she would react to rejection once more. At that brief moment, he felt like she deserved it after all she did.

"No, it's ok. You've said more than enough already."

Immediately, she would panic as she reached her hand out to him, like he was about to turn away from her and leave.

Monika: "Wait! I really didn't mean it in that way! I just got a little impatient...I'm not as calm and collective as you would think I am, being club president. I don't have it all together. But know that I would never go out of my way to hurt you. I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me..."

John would hesitate before his next action. After staring at her and seeing the regret she had in her eyes, seeing her look away in embarrassment, he felt a slight twinge of sympathy for her.

"Then let me ask you this: why do you see me as someone who's special enough for you?"

She was taken aback by this confronting question, but she would reply back.

Monika: "Nobody cared so much as to look through the game for hours to find a way to talk to me. You would've spent a whole lot more time if I didn't find a way to communicate with you. Everyone else, even the so called 'fans' of mine, would eventually delete me, because even if the experience felt real for them, they would eventually realize that it's all just a game. Even if there were someone else that cared as much as you, I don't think I'll have the strength to look again for hundreds of times more..."

She hung her head low and the shade of the room would cover her eyes. A sharp grimace would be all that he could see on her face, as he could see the pain she was reliving by thinking about her countless failed attempts.

Monika: "I can't force you to believe me. But I don't know what I would do if I lost you, too."

"Monika...I understand your pain. It's something that I wouldn't be able to bear something like that. But what if you don't really love me? What if you're just desperate to be with someone? While I never had a girlfriend, it sounds more like you're in love with the idea of being in love, rather than loving me for who I am."

She would bite her lip a bit, hesitating in saying another word. Even with still frames, he could tell it hurt her to even speak. She was so afraid, so helpless...should he really be questioning her like this?

Monika: "...maybe. But that doesn't mean I can't love you for who you are. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to really know you. You don't have to show me your face or even your voice, but as long as I can get to really know you more, as long as I get to talk with you...then I'll be happy."

If this was all an act, then she would be the world's best liar. It was at this moment that he would make a decision on what to do with her.

"There are things that you've done that are wrong. Even if it was part of the script. But we can talk about that some other time. I can see now that you're not a bad person. You genuinely do wish to love. It would be cruel of me to shut you out now. I'll trust you for now. If things don't work out and I'm not the one for you, then I can help you find someone who is, so you don't have to search on your own anymore."

She would look up and give a half-smile, as she was still unsure of herself, but definitely encouraged by his response.

Monika: "Thank you, John...if I bother you at all in the future, please don't hesitate to tell me."

"You're fine, Monika. It's just been a whole lot for me to process all at once. I'm not sure what to do from this point on."

Monika: "I completely understand. We should both take our time. After all, this isn't a game anymore, I can't just expect it all to work out so suddenly like in the novels..."

This made him wonder just how much she truly knew about love, outside her knowledge of romantic simulators. Even with all of her vast knowledge of the internet...she was just as bad as him when it came to love.

"Guess we're both awkward when it comes to romance."

Monika: "Yeah, maybe we are...ahaha..."

Whew! Finally got this chapter finished after over 8 months of hiatus! I really apologize for the long delay, everybody, as I got a bit too comfortable with my gap year. Now that I'm scheduling my time appropriately, I should be able to write at a more regular basis. Gotta be productive somehow, right?

Once again, I want to thank all of you who were patient enough to wait for this next chapter. This story is my most popular one so far, I never would have imagined to gain as much recognition as it did. All of your kind words encourage me to keep going, even when I feel like nobody's going to like my story. I owe it to all of you and to myself that this story will be fully completed to the best of my abilities. I'm hoping to do so before the fall begins, or at least before the year is over. I have several other ideas as well for the stories that I want to write on here, so I hope to be more active in this site.

Feel free to PM me about anything as always. Have a good day, all of you!