Warning(s): Mentions of suicide. If this affects you, do not read after the line break! Wait until second chapter. (Not this one. The one in the middle of the chapter.)

He sat in silence. Whatever had transpired in the last few seconds didn't register in his mind, which had gone blank after his father's words. They rang in his mind like a city bell.

'You will never be my son.'

'You will always be Beca to me.'

'I don't care who you think you are!'

'You are my daughter and that's the end of this conversation, Beca!'

Now he sat on the edge of his bed, one hand under the waistband of his sweatpants, fingers idly drumming on his thigh, and the other loosely gripping his phone. He could still hear his father calling his deadname on the other line.

"Yes, Dad?"

He tried to sound confident, to hide his emotions as he spoke.

"I don't ever want you to come to me with this...gender bullshit ever again. Goodbye, Beca."

The line went silent before Beck locked his phone and tossed it behind him. The brunet pulled his legs up to his chest before he fell onto his side and curled up even more. It was probably the only reason he was grateful for his height, but usually he would sigh and wish he'd gained genes from his father.

Even the slightest thought of his dad made him choke back a sob. He didn't want to cry about not being accepted, but he couldn't help but think that the one person who always said, 'You know you can talk to me about anything. I'll always love you,' didn't accept him.

"Look, I don't know. Maybe, Beck decided to go to the gym. He usually does on Tuesdays."

At the mention of his name and the sound of one of his favorite voice, he perked up, wiping his face to clear the stray tears. Though, he almost didn't recognize the second one.

"Who cares where your boyfriend is. Let's just get this over with. Do you want to do this or not?"

"I care. If he catches us, there will be no telling how he will react. There will be so many questions."

Beck furrowed his brow. 'What are they talking about?' He stood from his bed, wiping his face, and opened the door, only to see his girlfriend with someone he despised with a passion.

"Chloe? Jesse? What is he doing here, and why are you guys with one another?"

Chloe kept quiet, looking between Beck and Jesse repeatedly. She didn't know what to say, and certainly did not like lying to her boyfriend.

Jesse spoke first.

"Chloe needed some advice and she thought you were out. I was in town and she wanted to catch up. In the middle, I offered to help her. I promise she's yours and yours only."

"You know what, I don't care. I'm gonna go for a walk…"

Before Chloe could stop him, Beck grabbed his earbuds and wallet before he brushed past them. He kept his composure long enough to make it to his car. He made sure to lock the doors before he buckled his seatbelt, and drove out of the neighborhood. He didn't know where he was going to go, or for how long. He just wanted to get away for a bit.

Beck went to the only place he knew.

"Hey, mom."

When Beck was just a kid, he lost his mother to a drunk driver on the interstate. It scared him to know that he would grow up without his mother, but he remembered when his father told him not to fret.

"She's in a better place," he would tell the little boy. "And she is always watching over you. Remember that, Beca."

The brown haired man shook his head and sat before his mother's grave, sniffling quietly as he fixed the pile of dahlias on the ground. He let his lips twitch upwards just a tad as he stared at the purple petals. "I know that you would have been so proud of me. For finally finding myself. Dad always told me how much you wanted a son, that when you found out you were pregnant, you became so happy...I miss you so much, mom…you would be so happy for me…"

Beck pulled his knees to his chest and cried into his arms as he rested them on his legs. It wasn't a quiet weeping either. His sobs were loud, and at that moment he didn't care. He needed to let out all the feelings he had been suppressing for the past few weeks.

His father didn't love him the way he was.

Jesse never accepted him for who he was.

Chloe was the only one who accepted him with open arms and a, "That's it? Jesus Christ, I thought you were gonna tell me that you only had a few weeks left to live."

He had felt so much better when Chloe pulled him into a hug and told him how much she loved him. It made his heart swell, and eyes water as he realized how grateful he truly was for the older woman…

...but to see that she was hanging out with Jesse while assuming Beck was away made him feel upset. He couldn't place why either.

Hours passed before Beck gathered himself and returned to his car. He sat in the driver's seat for a few minutes, looking through his notifications. Chloe had been calling him. He hesitated on calling her back, knowing damn well the redhead was probably worried sick about him.

"Call Chloe."

"Calling Heart Emoji. Chloe. Ring Emoji."

Within seconds of the line ringing, it was picked up. There some shuffling before his girlfriend's voice was heard.

"Beck, I'm so happy you called! Are you okay? Do you need me to come get you, or do you need anything?"

The young man chuckled quietly before he shook his head to himself. "Dad knows where to find me. I love you, Chloe Beale. Don't ever forget that." He hung up the call before Chloe could say anything to him. He turned on his car and sped off down the trail. He knew that at the end of the trail was a dead end that led to a steep hill.

"They won't miss me. They'll be okay. Don't worry, mom. We'll see each other again shortly."

His foot pressed down harder on the gas pedal as he let out a deep breath.

"It'll all be over soon."

Thank you for reading! This is my first Pitch Perfect fic and, of course, these hands only create angst, but go ahead and give it a follow! This is just the first chapter!