A/N Hey y'all, Noa here with yet another fucking DR fic that spawned from the depths of the Clair de Lune discord chat—courtesy of my main enablers Shaded Cat (AKA, AngstyArbitually), Alicitzen, and sealingdesigneejosephine (AKA, memoriesofpurelight)!

So here's a non-despair AU for all of you because god damn, we all need one in our lives!

I just decided to make one with a twist, so have fun with thaaaat!

Disclaimer for whole story: I don't own Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc or anything related to it!

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It's just another boring, predictable morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and a fairly attractive high school boy is trying to kill his own twin brother. He has no luck in landing a solid hit on his not-so-attractive older twin, who just keeps blocking his knife so effortlessly. He quits after a few more minutes and then proceeds to fling the knife in a random direction. It embeds itself in a tree, just narrowly missing a pale-skinned boy with white hair.

"Geez, is it really gonna be just another boring day?" Because Enoshima Jun is reconsidering his life choices in turning down a photo shoot in Harajuku order to attend his high school orientation. "Not like that's any better…"

But at least with the photo shoot, he wouldn't have to put up with Ikusaba Mukuro's sorry-ass freckled face…

"And Harajuku is infinitely better than this dump." Enoshima sighs as he runs his perfectly manicured fingers through his hair. He pauses for a moment and then holds out a lock of his stylish strawberry-blond hair. "Ugh, remind me to never let you cut my hair!"

The layers are all wrong—just like everything else that makes Ikusaba such a disappointment of a twin brother.

"Just stick to cutting your own lame-ass black hair!" Enoshima reaches into his pocket and pulls out his notebook. He flips through the pages, blue eyes quickly scanning its contents. "Alright, now let's see…yep—right on time!"

Enoshima watches as a certain Ishimaru Kiyotaka approaches the gate of Hope's Peak Academy and enter its premises about an hour before orientation. As expected of the Super High School Level Moral Compass…

"Laaaaame~!" Enoshima huffs. "Mister Goody Two-Shoes is gonna be a pain in the ass to avoid…"

Although, he might have some fun messing with the boy…

"I'll add him to the list of people I should definitely fuck around with…" Enoshima smiles widely as he pulls out a pen and adds in a new name to his list. "Hey, you gonna just stand around and be useless or what? C'mon, Mukuro—make yourself useful and go on ahead. I'm tired of looking at you anyways…"

"If that's what you want, then I'll see you in an hour, Jun." Ikusaba takes his leave after a moment of hesitation.

Enoshima doesn't even wait until Ikusaba is out of earshot to sigh loudly in relief. "Finally!"

The hour goes by painfully slow as Enoshima watches the rest of his classmates enter Hope's Peak Academy one by one. He sees the Super High School Level Gambler, Celeste Ludenburg, arrive in a limo chauffeured by a rather attractive maid. Celeste certainly has good taste, though deep down, he's still Yasuhiro Taro and nothing will ever change that.

"Poser," Enoshima mutters under his breath.

The Super High School Level Biker arrives noisily on his motorcycle with a good chunk of his gang. Oowada Mondo is surprisingly early—likely due to Yukimaru Takemichi nagging at him to do something good for once so that the teachers won't expect anything else from him.

"Speak of the devil…" Enoshima can see the pretty boy talking it over with Oowada…who is taller than him by like 22 cm. "Geez, that's short."

Of course, Enoshima sees shorter when his crossdressing classmate, Fujisaki Chihiro, nervously approaches the gate with his father, Taichi, who is not that much taller than he is. The two share a rather touching moment before going their separate ways.

"How cute…" It makes Enoshima almost want to gag at how utterly predictable that was. It only gets even more predictable from there when he sees super popular idol, Maizono Sakuya, sneaking around in some cheesy disguise before quickly discarding it when a group of his rabid fangirls see completely through him. "Tch, amateur."

He steps to the side, avoiding his tall, dark, and handsome classmate, Asahina Aoi, as he runs towards Hope's Peak Academy at full-speed. At his side, is his little brother, Yuuta, who is not as tall as his older brother, but is as equally loud as he is.

"And in a few years, Hope's Peak will welcome him as the Super High School Level Track Star." Enoshima can already see it… "And there's Togami-kun!"

Enoshima grins widely at the even more extravagant limo that Togami Byakuya arrives in—absolutely fitting for the boy known as the Super High School Level Affluent Progeny. Fukawa Touya shows up not long after, nervously looking left to right for anyone that might yell at him for existing. He has such a plain look to him, with those big round glasses on his face…

"He might even be more pathetic than Mukuro…" Enoshima makes a mental note to mention that later to his brother. "Of course, Fukawa-kun has that split personality going for him…"

Kuwata Leon has a hard time shaking off his cousin, Nakajima Kanon, on his way through the school gates. Kanon remains at the gate for some time before Hagakure Yasuhiro convinces her to leave when he bumps into her rather roughly. On her way out, she ends up nearly punching Yamada Hifumi in the face in of a fit of anger.

Enoshima can't keep himself from laughing then, thinking it only fitting that Yamada would have such bad luck with real, 3D girls.

"So that just leaves the martial artist and this year's lucky student!" Enoshima can spot his totally ripped classmate already approaching Hope's Peak. He is just as massive as Enoshima remembers from the information he got on Oogami Sachio. "Ohh, it seems our dear little Naegi Makoto is running late."

Because Enoshima isn't exactly in the mood to be late for orientation day. Otherwise, he'll never hear the end of it and he knows that he's going to get the most of it from Ishimaru for his dyed hair and fashion sense…

"At least it'll be one less thing he'll bother me for…" Enoshima closes his journal and stuffs it into his pocket. He sighs loudly and starts making his way towards the school gate. It's as he's walking past Oogami that he has a rather pleasant encounter with this year's Super High School Level Lucky Student.

It happens all too fast, but Enoshima sees it all and immediately deems it as the most clichéd thing he has ever seen—which certainly says a lot about the shit he's seen over the years. It's just like something out of a shoujo manga, where the totally average protagonist has toast in their mouth because they're running late and ends up crashing into their love interest.

THUD!

Except when Naegi Makoto crashes into Oogami's massive frame, she ends up bouncing off of him. She lands flat on her ass, her toast smacking her in the face with jam before falling onto her chest. It's just about the unluckiest thing that could happen to her at the moment and Enoshima almost wants to laugh at how terribly unlucky the supposed Lucky Student actually is.

"Wow, talk about first impressions." Enoshima grins widely behind his hand as he watches Oogami pick Naegi up. "Aww, he's blushing!"

Oogami Sachio certainly is blushing as he apologizes to his much smaller classmate. It's quite an adorable sight that makes Enoshima want to kick a puppy…or stab Ikusaba.

"I should totally do that later." Enoshima wonders if he'll actually land a hit this time. "Doubt it."

But that won't stop him from trying.

"It's okay, it's my fault for not looking where I was going…" Naegi says as she tries to look through her pockets for her handkerchief. A whine leaves her mouth when her hand goes through a hole in her blazer. "Aww…"

"Here, you may use this." Oogami is quick to offer Naegi his handkerchief, not hesitating whatsoever to help wipe off the jam on her face. Afterwards, he apologizes again, sounding much more embarrassed.

Naegi just waves it off, like the annoyingly nice girl she is. "Ohh, can we talk about this later—we're gonna be late!"

"You got like five minutes, ya know?" Enoshima doesn't pull any punches when he brings this information up. "So I totally suggest getting a move on right about now. I hear we have a total hardass this year who is especially hard on people who are tardy!"

"R-Right!" Naegi nods her head before running off into the building.

Enoshima has to keep himself from laughing because Naegi is totally going the wrong way. She'll find out on her own… "Sooo…how's it going, big boy? I'm Enoshima Jun—and you?"

He sort of hits it off kinda well with Oogami on their way to the gymnasium, which is where the orientation is being held. It's as the Headmaster, Kirigiri Jin, is in the middle of his speech when Naegi Makoto bursts and makes a total scene that has all eyes on her. She has such an awkward time afterwards, especially since she ends up crashing into yet another boy—this time, it's the Headmaster's son, Kirigiri Kyou.

As Enoshima watches the two interact, an idea begins to form in his head. There's just something so unpredictable about Naegi. It's strange, because Enoshima is used to being able to predict like…everything. And yet, it really only hits him that Naegi Makoto is his only female classmate as he recalls her shoujo-esque encounters with Oogami and Kirigiri.

"Oh, this is gonna be good." It only proceeds to get even better when Enoshima notices Ikusaba's sorry attempts to talk to Naegi after orientation is over. He knows he has other plans in mind, buuuut… "I think I'll focus more on this one…"

Naegi Makoto is just someone he can't afford to pass up.

"Not in this lifetime." Enoshima laughs out loud, catching everyone by surprise. He dashes in between Naegi and Maizono, ruining whatever attempt there was for the two to reconnect as he introduces himself to Maizono. "Hey, we should totally do a collaboration—oh, hey, didn't see you there."

"It's fine…" A small bead of sweat rolls down the side of Naegi's face as she looks at him and Maizono. "Maybe we should talk later…"

"Like don't mind me—hey, you wanna go out for karaoke?" Enoshima grins widely. "We should totally hang out! Mukuro, you want in on this?!"

Ikusaba is in no position to refuse and neither is Naegi, who gets dragged into this mess anyways because Maizono is willing to take up Enoshima's offer to avoid his rabid fangirls. The four of them spend a good four hours in some random karaoke bar in Shibuya, singing a multitude of songs and snacking on various appetizers. At one point, Enoshima manages to gather some good blackmail from Naegi when she accidentally gets drunk after the server mixed up her drink with someone else's.

Yes, Enoshima can certainly get behind with investing all of his time on Naegi Makoto and her unpredictable luck.

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A/N This harem AU is brought to you, yet again, by the Clair de Lune Discord chat and an idea someone suggested to me a few years ago! Originally, I had this idea after someone in a PM suggested to me an idea that was like…canon male Naegi having an all-girl harem out of the DR1 cast.

Shot that down as I decided to suggest an even better idea—fem!Naegi with a reverse harem out of the rest of the DR1 cast. I mean, c'mon—what's more interesting? A typical, boring harem, or a reverse-harem with a plain duck being wooed by a cast of pretty boys?

Idk about you guys, but I'm more interested in seeing like…a reverse for what I have to put up with when it comes to harems with their boring, generic male MCs (I'm looking at you, Monster Musume and your waste of fucking potential). So here you have this fic that finally got fleshed out thanks to the Clair de Lune Discord chat. Lots of fun will be had here and you can certainly consider this a Non-Despair AU, because that is what it is…so no one is gonna die. Because Enoshima Jun decided naah, he wants to make Naegi's life into the most entertaining reverse-harem situation ever.

So aaayy, have fun with that! By the by, fem!Naegi looks exactly like her male counterpart. Like, honestly, as I mentioned in You've Got That Wrong!, the only thing I really only changed about Naegi is her gender because I subscribe to the trans!Naegi headcanon in general. As for everyone else…the same cannot be said about their appearance and I'll certainly get to them next chapter!

So just to keep everyone in the know, here is the changes I've made with the female cast's names:

Oogami Sakura = Oogami Sachio

Celestia Ludenburg/Yasuhiro Taeko = Celeste Ludenburg/Yasuhiro Taro (FUN FACT: Celeste can be both a feminine and masculine name in France, so YEAH)

Asahina Aoi = Asahina Aoi (Aoi is a gender-neutral name)

Ikusaba Mukuro = Ikusaba Mukuro (same can be said about Mukuro)

Enoshima Junko = Enoshima Jun

Kirigiri Kyouko = Kirigiri Kyou

Maizono Sayaka = Maizono Sakuya

Fukawa Touko = Fukawa Touya

Next chapter, I'll give you their heights, so until then, that's it! Hope you guys enjoyed what I have so far! I'm honestly hyped to see what'll come out of this because I have plans and the Clair de Lune Discord chat just spits out so many fucking ideas at a time that it's just insane. Ahaha, so until next time, everyone! KD out! XD