Sun Burned Out

JacobxBella

Rated T

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the franchise, as it belongs to Steph Meyers

Sun Burned Out

Bella jumped out of Edward's car as she ran over the invisible treaty line towards the Black house. Jacob had been crushed by a newborn vampire before the Volturi guard had arrived and had been quickly taken away; she hadn't had a chance to see him until now. Edward had refused her to come, telling her that Carlisle could fix Jacob and that she wasn't needed there. Bella had been appalled and had yelled at him for the first time, telling him that Jacob was her best friend she damn well needed to see him, needed to see that he would be alright. Her boyfriend/fiancé had been adamant about her not going until Rosalie had stepped in, forcing him to take her. She had barely heard him tell her he would be waiting as she hurried to see Jacob, seeing the little red house in the distance as she ran.

The Pack was waiting outside of the house with worried expressions on their faces, all of the wincing and grimacing as they could hear Carlisle break their brother's bones and listen to Jacob's screams of agony. Bella gasped as she heard the screams, the noise horrifying to her ears. The Pack had heard her come and while some of them glared hatred at her because they blamed her for what had happened to Jacob, others looked at her in sadness. Seth walked over to her and said, "Sam and Jared are inside holding Jake down while Carlisle breaks his bones again."

"Again?" Bella asked.

"His bones immediately began healing themselves after he was crushed by the leech and they weren't connecting correctly."

"Oh God," Bella said as her hands flew over her mouth.

After a while the noise died down and everyone waited with baited breaths. Finally Carlisle stepped out of the house and walked over to Billy to give him news about Jacob. Bella couldn't hear what he said, but from the look on Billy's face it wasn't good. Even the Pack looked shocked from whatever it was. Getting anxious she asked, "What is it? What's wrong?"

Before anyone could answer Sam and Jared exited the house with melancholy expressions on their faces. Sam walked over to Bella and looked down at her before saying in a low, hard voice, "Jacob's body seems to no longer want to hold onto his spirit wolf. And because of this his entire body is shutting down as we speak. It's like he no longer wants to remain on this earth and he no longer has the will to fight to do so."

Trying to find words to say, Bella finally settled on, "Why?"

"You know why."

Sam walked away from Bella, leaving her standing alone next to Seth. She didn't understand what Sam meant by that. She knew why Jacob seemed to be giving up on life? She had no idea why? She hurried into the house and towards Jacob's room, all the while ignoring the voice in her head that was telling her that she indeed know the truth as to why Jacob was giving up.

Walking into his bedroom she found Jacob lying still on his bed as bandages were wrapped around his body keeping him in place and not moving. His eyes were closed and it seemed as if he was barely breathing. Gasping she moved over to him and called out, "Jake?"

Jacob slowly opened his eyes and looked at her, a small smile appearing on his lips as he whispered, "Hey Bells."

Bella reached out to touch him, but pulled her hand back afraid she would hurt him more than he already was. Settling down a bit on the bed next to him she said, "They said that your spirit wolf was waning and that your body can no longer hold it. They said that you had no more will to live and your body was shutting down. That's not true, is it?"

"Yes, it's true."

"Why?"

"I told the wolf to leave, Bella. I told him his services were no longer needed. I'm tired, Bells. I'm tired of fighting and tired of being tied to just the Reservation because it's what's expected of me. And…and I'm also tired of fighting for you."

Bella's heart seemed to still in her chest for a moment when he said that. Blinking she looked at him in confusion, silently asking him to continue.

"I mean, what's the point of me fighting for you and hoping that you'll love me in return and want to be with me when all you care about is your leech? I've stuck my neck out on the line for you several times, especially with what happened today just to keep you alive. But you know what you're doing? You're still going to marry him and become one of them, basically throwing in our faces that risking our lives to keep you alive was for nothing. And me? I don't understand why I wasn't good enough."

Tears filled her chocolate brown eyes as she replied, "It's not you Jake, it's me; I'm not good enough for you. And I'm not good for you, but I do love you."

"Just not enough, right?" A sad smile appeared on Jacob's tired face. "But that's alright, though. You know I love you more than anything and I'm glad I was able to see you alive and breathing one last time."

"Jake, don't talk like that. You're going to fine, you'll see," Bella told him while trying to stop the anxiety filling her chest. "Besides, you still have to Imprint on someone, that way you'll be happy instead of holding onto me."

Jacob frowned slightly before saying, "I'll never Imprint, not that it matters anymore. You're the only one for me, Bella. I wish that it had been me you chose, but at the end of the day all I want is for you to be happy, even if it's with the leech."

Bella shook her head as her tears fell yelling, "Stop talking like you're dying!"

"I'm finally letting you go, Bells. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll see you again and we'll be together. But that's just wishful thinking, isn't it?"

"Jake…"

Jacob lifted his hand slightly, ignoring the pain running through his arm as he cupped Bella's cheek. He gently brought her face close to his and rested his forehead against her own, closing his eyes as he breath became shallow. He felt Bella's hands cup his face as he whispered, "You'll always have my heart. It's always belonged to you, even when you didn't want it."

A hiccup came from her throat as she whispered, "Jake, please."

Opening his eyes he looked into the chocolate brown ones he loved so much before pressing his lips against hers once more in a sweet kiss. Bella didn't protest and returned his soft kiss. Pulling away Jacob placed his head back on the pillow and smiled at her before closing his eyes and whispering, "I feel light now, like I've finally gained a sense of peace."

"Jake," Bella called, standing from the bed to lean over him. Still holding his face she said, "Jake, don't."

"I love you, Bells," Jacob whispered almost inaudibly as he opened his eyes once more to look at her.

"Jake!"

Bella shook him as she called his name, but he made no movement. His brown eyes slowly lost their usual shine until they were dull and lifeless. No more breath was coming from his body; he had gone completely still while staring at her. Jacob, her personal sun, had burned out. He was gone right in front of her, and he never coming back.

"Jake! Jacob! JACOB!" Bella screamed as she shook him desperately, her screams alerting everyone outside and a few of them rushed in.

Sam, Embry, Quil, and Leah all stopped in the doorway as they took in the scene in front of them. There was Bella bent over Jacob, screaming at him to wake up and to not leave her, shaking and hitting him while he laid lifeless on his bed and tears fell down her face. Realizing what it was before them, tears filled their eyes and Quil and Embry left the house, Shifting into their wolf forms before howling in mourning at the sky. Seth, Paul, and Jared did the same, feeling the anguish that their brothers were feeling. Tears ran down Billy's face as he covered it with his hands, heart wrenching sobs escaping his mouth, his heart aching as he mourned the loss of his son. For him, it was just like losing Sarah all over again.

Back inside, Sam and Leah watched Bella sob into Jacob's chest, all the energy she had trying to wake him up leaving her as she slumped onto his body. Tears filled Leah's eyes and she couldn't help but turn her face into Sam's shoulder seeking comfort. Sam wrapped his arms around her as she cried, his own eyes moist with tears. Sure, he didn't like Bella because she reminded him of himself being stuck between his ex and Imprint, but even he could see just how deep Bella's love for Jacob ran. Letting go of Leah he sent her out before walking over to Bella. Pulling her away from Jacob's body he said, "He's in a better place, Bella. Mourn him, but live your life remembering him and being happy; it's what Jacob would have wanted."

Bella allowed Sam to pull her away from Jacob and out of the room, but not before she turned back to look at him, his lifeless eyes seeming to stare after her.

The funeral was a sad one, and it rained heavily that day. Old Quil gave the eulogy while everyone in attendance looked on with melancholy expressions on their faces. Bella and her father were there as well, Charlie supporting Billy and his daughter while also mourning the boy who was like a son to him; Rebecca and Rachel were also in attendance and were inconsolable. He had been told Jacob died in a motorcycle accident to cover up what really happened, and had been trying to keep his grief hidden so as not to upset Bella anymore.

While Jacob's funeral was being prepared, Edward had tried to comfort Bella as best as he could, but she could not be consoled. He wanted to be there for her and lend support, but he didn't know how to reach her now. Carlisle had been invited to the service, as he had been the one to try and save Jacob and they wanted to thank him for trying to help, but he declined saying that he didn't want to intrude. Considering everything that had happened he found it best to not show up unless he wanted to create more hostility between the Cullens and the Pack.

As Old Quil wrapped up, Bella watched with tears running down her face as Jacob's casket was lowered into the grown next to Sarah's grave. The sobs she had been holding in finally released themselves as the service came to a close and people began to leave, Bella refusing to move. Even after the grave had been covered with dirt once more and Charlie tried to gently pull her away, she refused to move, allowing the rain to pour down onto her, soaking her black dress and her hair. Billy told Charlie to let Bella be, telling him that she would come when she was ready.

She didn't know how she knew she was all alone, but once she was her legs gave out from underneath her and she collapsed to the ground. Lying down next to Jacob's grave she couldn't help but continue to weep. Her sun was gone, he had burnt out, leaving her feeling cold inside and out. She blamed herself for him dying. She had done this, she had been the one to put him through so much pain and suffering, to keep unintentionally giving him false hope until he finally gave up everything, her and his life. Why was she such a selfish bitch? Why couldn't she see that she had been slowly killing him?

She remembered telling herself that she loved Jacob, but she loved Edward more. But she now realized that wasn't true and it could never be. She loved Jacob more than she loved Edward, but she had been so caught up in her despair over Edward she never realized that her heart had already grown to love Jacob and it outweighed what she thought she felt for Edward. She couldn't live without Jacob, couldn't breathe without him. She was foolish to choose Edward and want to be a vampire. Because she knew that once she did, she would forever walk the earth with nothing but regrets and she didn't think her heart could take it. She needed Jacob, needed to be with him again. She couldn't go on without him.

Making a decision she got up from the wet ground and looked at Jacob's grave, saying before turning to leave, "Wait for me, Jake."

Bella ignored the constant, frantic phone calls from both Edward and Alice as she rode back with Charlie to the Black house. Charlie had asked her if she was going to answer, but his daughter refused to do so, especially considering who it was calling. He couldn't blame her, though. Bella was closest to Jacob than anyone else and she loved the boy, not that she ever said so in his presence. She needed time to herself to process that her best friend was no longer with her.

Parking in front of Billy's house Charlie asked, "Are you going to come inside?"

Shaking her head Bella answered, "No, I'm going to be in Jake's garage."

Charlie nodded and cut off his police cruiser unbuckling himself. Just as he was about to open the door, Bella wrapped her arms around him in a close, tight hug. Surprised he said, "Bella?"

"I love you, dad. Thank you for everything that you've done…and I'm sorry for what I do," Bella told him, her face in his shoulder.

Charlie didn't really understand what Bella meant, but he hugged her close and replied, "And I love you, kiddo."

Pulling away he opened the door to the cruiser and told her to come inside whenever she was ready. He then closed the door and left her alone as he walked up to the house. Bella waited until he walked inside and the door close behind him before opening the glove box go her dad's police cruiser and reaching inside, her hand wrapping around the cold piece of metal. Taking a deep breath she pulled out the little silver revolver Charlie kept in the glove box before opening the door and getting out of the car.

Bella hurried to the Taj and smiled seeing Jacob's Rabbit sitting inside it, though she felt sad knowing it would never be driven by its owner ever again. Walking around to the driver's side she opened the door and climbed inside, shutting the door behind her. Taking the revolver checked the cylinder seeing it was full before putting it back in place and pressing the hammer down. As she did she whispered, "I'm coming, Jake."

Holding the barrel to her temple she closed her eyes and prepared to press down on the trigger. As she did she felt a pair of warm, familiar arms wrap around her and soft lips on the back of her neck, and she swore she heard Jacob's voice whisper in her ear, "I'm right here honey, and I'm waiting."

A smile spread across her face as she took one last breath and let it out, her finger pressing down on the trigger.