Hello and welcome! I am super excited to be bringing back this fic, it was one of my favorites to write even if I gave myself all the feels. This is to be the remastering of a fic I originally wrote from 7.28.2012 - 2.03.2013. So if you want to look back on what was, feel free to do so.

I won't prolong this anymore, so without further ado, I shall get things started!

Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa! :)

A painful cough escaped him before he could stop it, his hand subconsciously reacher for his chest as it wracked through his body. It left him feeling winded, though it wasn't a new sensation. He ignored the dark probing eyes from across the room as he settled back into his chair... Or at least he tried to. Edward groaned and sent him a weak glare. "Calm down Colonel Bastard," he said, "it was just another cough, nothing more."

The said man scoffed in return, "Don't hand me that bullshit, Fullmetal. We both know what 'just another cough' could turn into." He was silent a moment before sending a glare right back at him, "And it's not Colonel anymore, hasn't been for awhile."

Ed let out a quiet laugh. Sometimes he wondered where his mind had gone with how much he forgot such little details. "That's right.. I keep forgetting; it's Führer Bastard now, right?" He blatantly ignored Mustang's other comment, not wanting to get into yet another fight over his health with the man. It was already a less than desirable topic to breach, he didn't need others constantly bringing it up. Not that they needed to anyways, he could feel his body getting weaker with each passing day.

"Yes and don't you forget it," was his stubborn reply.

He huffed, "Not like you'd let anyone if they tried."

Mustang rolled his eyes, "Oh like you'll let anyone forget how you were the Fullmetal Alchemist? Please, you'll take that one to your grave."

Normally such a thing wouldn't get to him, it was just some harmless banter. But given the current state of things, it hit him hard. He technically wasn't the Fullmetal Alchemist anymore since leaving the military, yet his once superior's indication of it having been in the past made him feel like it was a polite jab that he couldn't do the things he used to. His body couldn't handle the stress of performing alchemy anymore.

His mood instantly soured. Yes he would take it to his grave. One that wasn't as far off as he wished it was. "Yeah guess I will, probably will only be a few more months."

Mustang visibly winced response, "Shit… Ed I-"

"No no, it's fine. I should be used to this, since everyone seems to enjoy reminding me that I'm…" His voice choked, he wanted to curse himself for the weakness. He used to be so much stronger, anymore it was like he had no control of himself and his emotions spilled out almost against his bidding. "T-That I'm dying…"

Edward could feel his control slipping, but he tried desperately to hold it together. His vision clouded with tears as warm arms wrapped tentatively around him.

"I'm sorry," was the soft murmur.

"Shut u-up," he hissed in return. More tears fell against his will, and he hated every minute of it. Was this what he had been reduced to? A sniveling child that broke into tears over a few simple words?

Something deeper within him tried to console his upset. He had made the choice to save Alphonse, it wasn't anything he regretted or would ever regret. This was the path he had chosen; this was his atonement. This was the price he had to pay for deciding to play the game of equivalent exchange with the Gate. Ultimately, his current state was only his fault, yet it still felt unfair. Though perhaps that was the part of him that wished they had never delved into the realm of forbidden alchemy in the first place.

He absently moved one of his hands to cover one of Roy's, accepting the comfort as it was given to him. A long forgotten part of himself screamed in outrage over his visible weakness. Time had worn down his spirit, and despite how much he wished to fight it, he couldn't deny what was laid out before him plainly. He was steadily dying.

The past two years had been almost constant suffering. From the moment he had retrieved Alphonse's body from the Gate, he had known something was amiss. It has started small, almost as though he had a cold. It had only progressed from there. His increasing illnesses had been difficult to hide, especially given the fact that he was almost never sick.

A surprise return trip to meet with Truth had revealed the rest of their bargain. Alphonse had been freed, but at a hefty price. To make up for the suffering his little brother had endured for so long, Ed would be stipped of any and all immunity to sickness and diseases. Some would develop of their own accord, some would be passed on from others, and some of his suffering would be through occasional symptoms that developed into chronic ones. After an undisclosed length of time, Truth had guaranteed his life would end, but bargained that his last couple of hours would be without pain.

Edward had been upset with himself for taking so long to realize one simple fact: it doesn't matter what you do, once you play your hand against god, you will always lose.

Mustang held the younger male carefully, completely at a loss of what he could do. Seeing his once fiery subordinate reduced to this hollow and sick husk was heart wrenching. The Edward he had known would have never accepted comfort, especially in the form of an embrace.

He had taken charge of the golden haired prodigy when he had found him unconscious in a puddle of his own blood. While not a particularly rare sight, it had been a startling one. A trip to the hospital had borne strange results, ones that he had only understood once coaxing the truth from Edward.

Since then they had been to dozens of doctors to try and fight his seemingly endless supply of ailments, but nothing ever worked. There were medicines for the pain and lowering his fever, but nothing could clear him of whatever illness plagued him at the time. The last few had merely offered pain remedies, explaining that they couldn't prevent the degeneration of Ed's body. Death was an inevitable and leering companion.

Mustang couldn't help a grimace as the memories resurfaced. The utterly lost look on his subordinate's face when he had finally come clean still lingered. Edward had seemingly known going into that fateful transmutation that he would not come out unscathed, yet he had done it anyways. The raven had always respected that stubborn selflessness. It was a rare trait to find in a person.

His thoughts snapped back to the present as he felt Ed's trembling stop. Roy pulled away to study the younger male's ashen face, faint tear tracts visible on his cheeks.

Edward looked away from him, looking ashamed. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be Ful-.. Ed, you needed that," Mustang replied. At one time in his life he had refused to believe that everyone needed to break at times, he had stubbornly kept up his facade of collectiveness. Luckily he had made a brilliant best friend to show him otherwise.

Mentally, he sent endless thanks to the man. He had not only decided to be his caretaker and roommate, but also his guardian. When it had become apparent that frequent trips to the hospital would be in his future, Mustang had single handedly made the decision that he would be the one to ensured it happen. Initially he had been appalled at the mere thought of living with the cocky führer, but he had quickly come to appreciate the help, not that he often said as such. He had vowed to eventually tell the man of his full thanks, even if it took him until he was on his deathbed.

"-ward! ED!"

The blonde blinked at the rising vocal tone and looked up curiously at his companion. "Were you talking to me?"

Roy let out an exasperated sigh, though he appeared oddly relieved. "Yes, glad I have your attention now, Fullmetal."

Ed frowned slightly, "If I have to call you führer, then call me by my name... I haven't worked for the military in two years, I'm not Fullmetal anymore." It was a double edged sword to wield. Part of him found comfort in the old nickname, while another part of him turned terribly bitter over it.

"Right," Mustang relented. He inclined his head in apology, "Edward then, apologies for the mistake."

He huffed a small sigh and offered a shrug, "I can make an exception for you I suppose, I still call you Colonel Bastard sometimes. Old habits really die hard, huh?"

The dark haired führer gave a grunt in agreement. Some things really were difficult to stop doing.

There was a comfortable silence that followed their interaction. The two of them had long since grown used to such times. A soft knock sounded on the door and immediately their eyes met in wordless conversation. Another knock followed shortly after and they both knew who it was before they even spoke.

"Führer, sir, there are some things we need to attend to," their visitor called. "It will only take an hour at most but if you do them now, you can have a few days of not worrying about anything."

"Hawkeye," Mustang murmured lowly, though it was ultimately unnecessary. He quickly went to the door to let his lieutenant in. He shuddered at the biting wind that blew in as he did.

Riza was dressed impeccably as ever, a small stack of papers in hand. She offered Edward a small salute in greeting. "Good morning Edward, I'm glad to see you up and about."

Edward cringed slightly in memory of her last few visits. He had been confined to bed with a sudden bout of severe muscles weakness, and had been in a miserable state. The fever definitely hadn't helped matters. "Hey Lieutenant, good to see you too," he said with a tired smile. "I actually had the strength to get up today, but ended up in a chair anyways. Go figure."

She seemed to study him for a moment before returning the smile. "Good, I hope things continue to get better for you."

He watched her as she spoke and instantly picked up on her unsaid message: I'm glad you're not on a downward spiral to the end and that it is just a phase. Ed nodded slightly to let her know he understood. "Me too," he whispered to himself.

Mustang reappeared from wherever he had been, and quickly tugged on his heavy military jacket when he noted the wool one on his lieutenant's shoulders. He looked displeased about being drug out into the chilling weather. "Do we have any read on the temperature? I really don't want to believe it's gotten that cold already."

Hawkeye nodded, "Yes sir, I saw several thermometers on the way over and many of them were registering around 30 degrees fahrenheit."

Both men present shuddered.

Ed rubbed at his automail ports, now knowing why they had been aching fiercely all morning. His prosthetics were both a blessing and a curse, he loved them when they worked and the weather was pleasant, but any sort of bad weather brought a level of pain that could only be compared to severe arthritis.

Roy checked his pockets to make sure he had everything he needed. His gaze swept over to his charge in slight concern. "Will you be alright while I'm away or do you want me to get Hughes over here?"

The blonde flushed slightly in embarrassment. He really hated that such a thing was even a topic of discussion, but it was unfortunately necessary given his current state of being. He shook his head after a moment of thought. "No, it's alright. I can manage being on my own for an hour or so."

Still the duo lingered, apparently uncertain of the decision.

Edward conceded to their concern all too easily. "Just… don't take too long? We all know how unlucky I can get sometimes," he muttered. Truthfully, he worried about it too. It wasn't exactly unusual for his body to screw him over right when no one was present to help.

Mustang immediately picked up on his unease and moved forward. He knelt before his chair and clasped him lightly on the shoulder in a gesture of confidence. "Don't worry so much, we'll be done as soon as we can be." His words were like an unspoken vow, one he didn't intend to break.

He nodded his thanks to the man, feeling slightly better from the assurance. Ed waved slightly as Roy and Riza left to run whatever errands needed done. As the door shut, he couldn't fight the feeling of unease as it intensified within him.

The air was cool and stiff, bringing back long buried memories of how the room had felt after his and Al's taboo transmutation. It was unsettling and uncomfortable. He tugged on a blanket in a vain attempt to stave off flashback that wanted to trigger from that night.

Seeing that his effort wasn't doing anything, he shut his eyes and imagined his loved ones. He thought of their smiling faces, the joyful laughs from the younger ones, the knowing smirks from the others. It felt horribly cliche to even imagine, but it ended up helping abate the memories.

Edward heaved some deep breaths to get a reign back on himself. It would do him no good to aggravate his lungs into another coughing fit, especially being alone as he was.

He dug into his pocket to wrench out his state alchemist pocket watch and check the time. Somehow it had already been half an hour since his companions had gone. His body began feeling strange and he immediately recognized the feeling.

Dread welled within him. What would happen this time? There was a list as tall as Central Command of possibilities. Ed mentally berated himself for allowing his skewed judgement to land him in such a predicament. The strange feeling continued to intensify, making him feel sick to his stomach.

His vision went gray suddenly and his mind panicked as he lost control of his body. He toppled out of his chair, head slamming against the ground none too gently. His last panicked thoughts were a wishful plea for Roy to return sooner than anticipated.

Ed's vision faded completely as his body was overcome with a seizure.

This will be a relatively quick process I believe. I'm excited for it nonetheless. Hope you have enjoyed, see ya soon.

~Ghosties