I don't own any franchises mentioend here. If I did, BlazBlue would be crossed with Guilty Gear and we wouldn't be having this problem.
Enjoy, people with a sense of humor.
"Ah, now this looks interesting!"
"We can't afford to lose this fight."
"Get in my—"
"Right. Who are you people again?" Ragna drawled out while digging his finger in his ear. He really couldn't be less interested, but it didn't kill him to be polite. Not yet, anyway.
"I'm Ruby Rose! Nice to meet ya!"
"And my name is Yu Narukami."
"I—"
"Mmhm, yeah, that's cool." Ragna cut off the odd-looking boy. "Gotta say, I honestly don't care, but you know what? My fault for asking. Let's try this again. What are you people doing here?"
"Right! Well, it looks like something pulled our worlds together." Ruby spoke.
"And now it's up to us to investigate what happened." Yu added on.
"We will have to—"
Ragna's hand shot up, signaling to the three that he was going to need a minute. Preferably far more than a minute, actually, but this seemed like a chatty bunch. The criminal was certainly no stranger to bullshit, but he never had to like it. In fact, his bullshit tolerance has gone down over the years if anything.
And this was about his limit.
"Just…just tell me what you know." Ragna sighed. He figured he might as well see if these kids dug anything up.
"Well, I can't speak for everyone here, but I heard a mysterious voice in my head. It said something about a keystone…" Yu said.
"Keystone, sounds stupid, I got it." Ragna turned on his heel and began to walk off.
"Hey, whoa, where are you going?" Ruby called out.
"Yeah, you shouldn't count us out. We're all in this together, so we should work together." Yu added on.
"You—"
"Look…" Ragna began as he came to a stop. "Don't take offense, or do its whatever, but even if I did need help I wouldn't be getting it from a group of kids. So, why don't you lot just go ahead and make yourselves scarce, yeah?"
"Hey, hey, don't try and sell us short." Ruby whined, making Ragna's eye twitch. Honestly, did they think he was a babysitter or something? Clearly they didn't know how to take a hint.
"I mean, you are short, so…"
"I guess what you need…is a demonstration." Yu said with a slow grin spreading across his face. He raised his hand and a blue care materialized. "Persona!"
In one swift motion, Yu crushed the card and, in a flash, the ghostly image of a warrior in a long coat appeared behind him.
"Whoa! That's awesome!" Ruby cheered.
Yu brandished his sword and the ghostly image did the same as the two struck a simple pose.
"So, as you can see, I'm no ordinary kid." Yu said.
"Eh." Ragna blinked, unimpressed.
Which left Yu rather deflated. "E-Eh? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Yeah, I dunno, kid." Ragna scratched his head as he turned back to the group. "It's just that when I think about a spirit that is always standing by your side I think it's something…cooler than this."
"H-Hey! There is nothing wrong with Izanagi!" Yu stammered out in defense.
"Pfft, really? That's what you call it? Real original, champ. You come up with that one yourself or did you run into my edgy kid sister on the way over?" Ragna snickered.
"What would you call it then!?" Yu questioned as Izanagi faded away, just as dejected as his human counterpart.
"I fight with my own two hands, so it's not my problem. Though I guess if you really made me think about it then maybe something…music related? Seems like that could be pretty fun." The criminal offered.
"That's…that's actually a good idea…" Yu knew he couldn't argue with that one. He needed to reevaluate some things.
Which left the stage open for Ruby.
"I guess a Persona doesn't do it for you, but I think I have something that will make you do more than blink!" With a flourish, the girl brandished her own weapon. She twirled around her oversized scythe and struck a pose of her own. "So, what do you have to say now? Based on that nifty sword strapped at your hip, I bet weapons are more your speed. Am I right?"
"Nope." Ragna shrugged, finding it more entertaining to birdwatch at the moment.
"H-Huh?" Ruby nearly lost her grip on her weapon.
"Look, this thing here," Ragna said, patting the handle of his sword. "Doesn't prove anything. It was just a gift. If someone didn't give it to me, I would just use whatever blunt object I could find. To be totally honest, I don't think weapons are that interesting. They're just tools."
"W-Well…have you ever seen some old tool do this!" Ruby spun her scythe and it became a gun.
"Multiple tools in one? Yeah, it's called a pocket knife, and kids get them all the time. Which brings me back to my original point…"
"U-Unbelievable… How can anyone be such a downer…?" Ruby questioned aloud as she put away her prized weapon.
Which only left one.
"I—"
"Let me guess. Your stupid looking hair has to do with whatever power you got." Ragna cut the boy off yet again.
"Hey—"
"Seriously, let me spell it out for you lot as plainly as I can: I. Don't. Care!" Ragna barked, his patience at an all-time low. "I'm sure you kids are all real special where you come from, but where I come from you just don't stack up. So, for the last time, beat it. I'm gonna track down whoever is talking about this magic rock or whatever, yank their head off, and I'll be doing it on my own."
"Wait…" Ruby spoke up. "Are you saying you are going to…"
"Kill them, yes." Ragna rubbed his temples in frustration. That last line was supposed to end this conversation.
"Hold on, you can't do that!" Ruby declared.
"What? Sure I can. Just gotta grab their head, twist it and then pull. Its super easy." Ragna said with the very height of nonchalance.
"What she meant is you can't murder someone!" Yu said, stepping forward.
"Uh, little late for that one." Ragna replied.
"Are you actually saying that you—"
"Killed more people than the three of you ever met put together? Sure did. I'm not exactly wanted for jaywalking, if you catch my drift."
"O-Oh…" And just like that, it occurred to the kids they didn't really know who they were dealing with in the first place.
Yu, in particular, was having a moment of realization considering he and his friends put their lives on the line to stop a man who only killed two people where as Ragna had killed a whole hell of a lot more than two. Seemed more than a little odd for him to even want to be in the same room, let alone work with, someone like that.
It was just common sense, no?
"Anyway, I'm out. This dumb little game we're playing here sucks and I really don't feel like doing it anymore. I'm gonna go fix this problem, so, bye." The criminal said, turning to leave. "Oh, and just some advice, turn tail and run if you see anyone from my world. Based on what I just saw, it wouldn't go well for you guys and not everyone is as nice as me where I come from." And with that, Ragna left the trio in his dust.
This left the group to contemplate their options.
"Hey, we all agree that guy is a real jerk, right?" Ruby asked the boys.
"More than that, I feel like he might have a hand in this mess. That, or he might make it worse. Someone who kills so easily can't be up to any good." Yu reasoned.
"I can't argue with that… What do you think, Hyde?" Ruby turned to the strangely quiet boy.
"Well, if you ask me—"
"REAPER!" Just then, a screaming man fell from the sky and slammed into the ground, spooking the teenagers. Once the smoke cleared, none other than the 'Mad Dog' Azrael was revealed in the middle of the crater he created with the biggest smile ever on his face. "I know you're around, Reaper! I can smell ya!"
"W-Who are you!?" Ruby shrieked.
Azrael cast his gaze down at the children before him and his expression immediately dropped.
"Oh, damn, more of you people. And here I thought I was finally catching up on the reaper." The big pupper sighed.
"Hey, wait a second, what did you mean by 'more of you people' exactly?" Yu questioned with a nervous edge in his voice.
All it took was a couple of big steps for Azrael to exit the crater and with the shake of his head he regarded the group of kids before him.
"To be frank, I've been running around all day. When I caught wind of this whole universal crossover thing, I got excited to have so many new opponents. Too bad for me they all turned out to be a bunch of pansies. Everyone from that colorful group of girls to those uniformed kids couldn't even count as appetizers. I thought I had finally had some luck and run across the reaper earlier, but when I got closer turned out I was wrong. He actually looked a lot like the black knight too, but he went down way too easy for that to be true." The mad dog lowered his head and shook in in shame. "Either way, this whole thing turned out to be one big disappointment, so I decided to look for Ragna the Bloodedge instead. I don't suppose you kids have seen him, have you?"
"Forget about that!" Ruby yelled, pulling her scythe back out. "You said colorful group of girls… What did they look like!?"
"Hm? Well, one was blonde, another had white hair, and the last one was a beastkin. They were all so flashy I thought they would put up a fight. Didn't live up to the hype though. Not much flavor to them." Azrael shrugged.
"And the uniformed kids!?" Yu gripped his sword in anger.
"Yeah… Yeah, it was actually the same as yours. They all summoned these big ghostly beings. Seemed promising at first, but get this; as soon as I gave them a little smack they went right down. Guess they weren't ripe yet." Azrael looked over his knuckles, depressed. At this rate they were going to gather dust.
"And did you see—"
"You know, kid, you seem familiar for some reason." Azrael rubbed his chin in contemplation. "Remind me of some of those otherworldly people. Don't know what it is, but something about you seems…off. Like something about your looks. Can't put my finger on it though."
"Enough! I don't care about any of that! You hurt my friends!" Ruby screamed, aiming her scythe at the older man.
"I'll make you pay for what you did to my friends!" Yu called Izanagi back out.
"I'm sick of this disrespect…I—" Hyde was silenced by Azrael cracking his knuckles.
"Fine, fine, I hear you all loud and clear. Who knows, maybe being a little riled up will make you three put up a better fight than the rest. Then, when I'm done here, I can keep looking for the reaper!" The trio charged forward, ready to avenge their precious friends as Azrael opened his arms wide in a welcoming manner. "Don't you go disappointing me, too!"
"Anyway, they didn't put up much of a fight and I took the key brick or whatever it was called." Ragna explained casually.
"Honestly, Ragna, I would almost be impressed by how efficiently you handled the situation if it weren't for how underwhelming it all was in the first place." Rachel huffed in response.
"You're tellin' me…"
"At any rate, you said you needed my help with a certain matter. Do you mind explaining to me what exactly that would be?" The vampire questioned.
"Aww, what's wrong? Don't like being left in the dark?" Ragna couldn't help but grin as he leaned in toward the woman.
"Please." Rachel lightly shoved Ragna back. "When I do it, it is considered whimsical. When you do it, it's asinine."
"Sounds like a double standard to me." Ragna hummed.
"Sounds like you should begin explaining what you want of me before I am forced to slap you across the face like a petulant child and return to my castle for tea, boy."
"Fine, fine." Ragna chuckled a bit. "I don't know if things are gonna get fixed on their own or not, but I just wanted you to send some of the kids I ran into back to their worlds. Who knows how long till they piss off the wrong person and get themselves killed."
"My, aren't you the considerate one. You do know if you truly wanted to keep them safe you would have kept them closer to you, correct?" Rachel pointed out.
"Yeah, well, just because I don't want someone to die doesn't mean I gotta be attached at the hip. Besides, I had my fair share of playing bodyguard, thank you very much." The criminal groaned, recalling some of his less pleasant tasks.
"Hm, I suppose you have. Now, as for these children, where are they supposed to be?"
"That's the thing, I could've sworn I ditched them right around here. They could've wandered off but I wasn't even gone that long. Wonder where they might be." Ragna scratched his head. Though come to think of it, he realized he hadn't seen any of their otherworldly visitors.
Just then, Rachel was able to figure out what had happened.
"Oh dear… I think I found your answer, Ragna."
"Hm? Oh, for the love of…!" Ragna looked up and had to smack himself in the face. There stood Azrael, not a scratch on him as he picked his teeth with a set of broken glasses. "Don't tell me you—"
"Reaper! So good to see you! Just when I was worried I would fill up on snacks you just so happen to appear. I dare say it must be fate!" A big smile once again found its way onto Azrael's face as he flicked the glasses away. "Though I gotta say, even if all these weaklings amounted to a meal, I'd always have room for you, Reaper!"
"First of all, gross. Second of all, GROSS! They were just a bunch of stupid kids, you animal!" Ragna yelled.
"Technically they attacked me first so, you know, self-defense." Azrael shrugged in response. "But enough about that, you and I have plenty of catching up to do!"
"Well, Ragan, you heard the man. Chop, chop." Rachel clapped her hands as she gestured to the hulking man before them, causing Ragna to do a double take
"Wait, what? Whose side are you on!? You know this dude is insane, right?"
"Indeed, but how could I ever pass up on a front row seat to a show of this caliber? Besides," Rachel continued as she materialized her chair to get more comfortable. "I have the utmost faith that you will be victorious."
"Well ain't you sweet…" Ragna groaned as he moved away from the vampire to face Azrael.
"You should listen to your woman, reaper, and enjoy things more!" The mad dog laughed.
"She's not my…you know what? Whatever." Ragna grabbed hold of his sword and raised his right hand. "I'm gonna be stuck killing you sooner or later so no time like the present."
"That's the spirit!" Azrael roared as he flexed his tattoos away. Ragna followed suit as darkness exploded from his right hand.
Rachel summoned some tea to sip as she observed the battle unfolding before her.
"That convergence of universes may have amounted to nothing as expected, but I suppose it wasn't a complete waste of time. At least it has offered the chance to witness a spectacle such as this once more. And, oh, how I have looked forward to it."
Ragna and Azrael wasted no more time and threw themselves forward with resounding roars.
"Let's go!"
It hurt me to write this. I actually like Kanji :(