PROLOGUE:
When Ino stormed into the cafeteria where she was supposed to meet Sakura with a wide smile on her face and eyes that failed to hide all the excitement she was feeling, the pink-haired girl knew that she was up to no good.
The blonde ninja walked in her direction with fast steps and jumped to the chair in front of her, laying a small magazine with a yellow cover on the table and clasping her hands in front of her body, looking at Sakura with a self-satisfied look.
''What's that?'' the rosette asked, giving her friend a suspicious glance before analyzing the magazine in front of her.
''This, my dear friend'' she started, her smile widening as she looked at her smugly ''is the solution to all our relationship problems!''
Sakura's jaw dropped and gazed at the magazine once more, this time feeling more curious and excited about its content.
''Is it?''
The blonde nodded, crossing her arms in front of her body and giving her friend a triumphant look.
''It's a guide! It has 21 steps that will definitely make the guy you like fall for you! You should totally try it out!''
Sakura took the magazine in her small hands and stared at it as if it possessed the secrets to happiness and success in life, and she would definitely make the most of such precious information to finally make Sasuke-kun notice her!
''Are you sure it works?!'' she asked eagerly, looking at the blonde girl with eyes full of hope.
''I'm 100% sure, it's been working for me and Shika, so it will totally work for you and Sasuke-kun!'' she peeked at the surroundings as if making sure no one was listening and moved closer to Sakura ''if I'm to lose Sasuke-kun to another girl, it'd better be you, so do this right!'' she said with a straight face, so Sakura would be sure she was serious.
The pink-haired ninja smiled at her and nodded a few times, bringing the magazine closer to her chest, her face bright and her eyes sparkling with the idea of finally standing a chance to make Sasuke fall in love with her.
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Step 1: Make eye contact!
''Sakura-chan, are you alright? You've been staring at Teme for quite some time'' Naruto said hesitantly, watching as Sakura bluntly kept her eyes on the dark-haired boy in front of her, who was already feeling rather uncomfortable with the way her eyes kept searching for his non-stop, almost as if trying to hypnotize him, during the whole time they'd been walking along the street.
''Shh, I'm concentrating'' she replied, signing to Naruto to stay quiet while she focused on looking straight into Sasuke's eyes, almost piercing through him. She had not averted her eyes from his for the past 27 minutes and she would not falter now, she could feel she was getting there! (Wherever there was).
He blushed slightly.
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Step 2: Hang around with him a lot!
''Can you stop following me?'' he asked, annoyed, as she kept walking next to him.
''I'm just helping you out while you do your stuff!'' she replied, using the opportunity to move closer to him.
''I'm literally buying milk, Sakura, I'm pretty sure I can do that by myself''.
''One can never know!'' she smiled, and kept following him everywhere around Konoha: to the training grounds, to the academy, to the market – to buy more tomatoes, of course, he simply could not live without them -, to the library, to the Onsen – she managed to blackmail the girl who worked there to tell him that only the mixed one was available – to the Hokage Tower, to Ichikaru – where he met Naruto – and finally to his home, where he shut the door in her face and heard a ''I can't wait to do this again tomorrow!'' from the other side before fast steps told him that she was finally leaving him in peace. For today, he thought, but still, he opened the door a fraction to watch her back as she skipped away from the Uchiha's District.
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Step 3: …then disappear for a bit!
Sasuke only sighed when Naruto started to look around frantically from his seat at Ichkaru's for the nth time, looking extremely worried.
''Hey, Teme, have you seen Sakura-chan? It's been almost a month since we've last seen her! I was sure that she would show up today for our monthly meeting to share that gigantic ramen bowl!'' his eyes saddened and his lower lip trembling as he thought to himself that, as much as he really wanted to eat that ramen, he simply could not do that without Sakura-chan.
Sasuke didn't say anything, but he did glance around and felt he missed seeing pink hair.
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Step 4: Ask for his help to do things!
''Sasuke-kun, could you please go get me that glass of water?''
''Sasuke-kun, my kunais are all with Tenten, could you go get them for me please?''
''Sasuke-kun, Tsunade-shishou wants to talk to me, could you please go see what she wants?''
''Sasuke-kun, I feel so hungry, could you go get me something to eat?''
''Phew, Sasuke-kun, there's just so much laundry to do at home, could you give me a hand with that?''
''Hey, Sasuke-kun! I found these kittens lost in the streets, could you help me find a home for them?''
''Sasuke-kunnnnnn! Shizune is getting married in a couple weeks and I haven't chosen a dress to wear yet, would you be so kind as to help me choose, please? Please, please, please?''
''Sasuke-kun, Naruto is being stupid again, could you punch him for me please?''
''Oh, I forgot to tie the laces on one of my boots, Sasuke-kun could you… uh? Sasuke-kun? Where did he go?''
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Step 5: Talk to him (the more, the best!)
Sasuke silent and carefully started to choose the tomatoes he was going to buy at the market while Sakura spoke next to him:
''(…) But then I told Ino that it was ridiculous to dye her hair just because of that! And she got mad at me because, according to her, I never supported anything she did, which is totally not true! There was that time when she wanted to adopt a dog and her parents were against it, but the thing was that she had already adopted it, so I had to hide and take care of the pup in my room for weeks until she managed to convince her parents that she had a terrible disease that could only be healed by the presence of animals that had fur. And you know, my dad is allergic to dogs, so I had to make up this whole drama about how ungrateful some people were these days to their parents and how much they should be thankful to them just so I could persuade him to go spend a couple weeks at granny's, because I hadn't told him nor mom about the dog and it was getting harder to keep it a secret as dad kept sneezing whenever he came near my room! In the end, when Ino finally got to bring the dog back to her house, the little beastie fell in love with the neighbor's dog and decided it just would not live anywhere else but at that specific house, with the other dog. Speaking of dogs, have you spoken to Kiba lately? Ohhh I remember that time when Kiba and I were in this mission together and…''
Sighs
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Step 6: Laugh!
''OH MY GOD, THAT WAS JUST HILARIOUS!'' Sakura screamed as she held her stomach and released a loud laugh, tears falling from the corner of her eyes as she did so.
Naruto and Sasuke exchanged worried glances and then looked back at her, the first wondering if he had missed the joke, while the latter wondered what the heck had just happened to Sakura.
''Uh… yeah'' the man who hired them looked at her awkwardly and tried to continue explaining their mission to them, but every 4 words he uttered were followed by a pink-haired girl bursting into laughter, repeating some words as if they were the funniest thing she had ever heard and pointing at him while rolling on the floor, incapable of sitting due to the intensity of each of the laughter that followed one another.
Finally, Sasuke decided to help Sakura to stand and led her outside the room, leaving the task of speaking to the man to Naruto, and took her somewhere they could take a seat and she could calm down. He held her arms as her body shook from the laughter she still hadn't been able to stop, and inwardly he thought to himself that he actually really did like this happy face of hers and this bright smile on her face. Her hair was all messy and there were tears of happiness on the corner of her eyes, but she looked happier than she had ever been.
He couldn't help but smile himself while watching her state, and he decided that yes, he definitely liked this smile of hers.
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Step 7: Feed him!
''Are we receiving guests today, Sakura?'' her father asked as he watched his daughter walk around the kitchen carrying many, many, plastic bags full of ingredients, then grabbing everything she could find in the kitchen, wrapping her apron with the picture of a smiling panda on the front around her waist and clasping her hands in front of her body. Ignoring her father's question, she quickly started to pick up the ingredients and some bowls and started to cook. Kizashi saw the determined look on her face and decided not to say anything else, lowering his eyes to continue reading his book, slightly worried about his daughter's mental state.
/-/
Sasuke sighed when he felt the familiar chakra right outside his house, flickering with excitement.
''GOOD MORNING, SASUKE-KUNNNNNN!'' he heard Sakura scream when he flung the door open to walk outside. ''I know you seldom have breakfast in the morning so I made you breakfast for you to eat on our way to the training grounds!''
''…''
''Try this, it's my newest recipe!'' she exclaimed while eyeing him with delight, catching one thing Sasuke thought to be a very ugly onigiri and put it inside his mouth before he had the chance to protest. ''Good isn't it?!'' she looked at him with expectation, and he did his very best to keep his face straight while swallowing that ''Ahh I can see you love it! Don't worry, there's plenty of more! Mom says we should eat at least every 3 hours, but as we will be training today I made something for you to eat every two! I'll make sure you don't feel hungry today, Sasuke-kun! I'll feed you properly with all these delicious treats I made you all the time!'' and smiled warmly, her face full of joy: she was sure Sasuke would have the best day of his life being able to enjoy the delicious food she so kindly spent the whole night preparing to him.
Sasuke swallowed the last bit of the onigiri in his mouth with a big effort, but said nothing, bracing himself for the long, long day he would have to endure.
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Step 8: Be mysterious!
''Hey, Sakura-chan, where do you think we should all eat today? At Ichikaru's? Or would you rather we went somewhere else?''
''Who knows''
''Ehh? Does that mean Ichikaru is fine?''
''Maybe''
''But 'maybe' is more like yes or more like- Uh… Sakura-chan, I think that blonde girl wearing a black cape in that alley is waving at you.''
''Perhaps… and perhaps not''
''…? Teme, did you do something to Sakura-chan?!''
''Hn''
''Sakura-chan? Are you feeling alright?''
''We shall see.''
''Uhh... Maybe you're not hungry? Do you want to go do something else before we eat?''
''I shall go see what secrets that girl wants to reveal to me, I'll meet the two of you later''.
''…''
''…''
''Should we follow Sakura-chan to try to find out what's going on? I'm honestly curious right now''
''Hn''
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Step 9: Don't always agree with him!
''I beg your pardon?''
''I totally disagree with you'' Sakura retorted, raising her head high and turning it to the side.
''That I'm ordering fish for me to eat?'' he replied, a little taken aback by her words.
She nodded. Sasuke gave her a puzzled look and gestured to the waiter to leave so he would have time to choose something else.
''So, while Sasuke chooses, let's continue discussing what we will need in order to make this festival Mr. and Mrs. Wagarashi entrusted us to plan a big success'' Kakashi suggested, trying to get his students' attention to himself ''Starting by the color of the decoration. Ideas?''
''Yellow!'' Naruto exclaimed.
''White.''
''Hell no!''
''What?''
''It's simple: I don't agree with white.''
''Sakura, Mrs. Wagarashi said she wants white for the decoration'' he insisted.
''But I don't agree''
''It's not a matter of agreeing or not''
''But I don't agree!''
''MOVING ON to the next topic. We can come back to this one later'' Kakashi interrupted, raising his voice a bit to draw their attention back to himself ''we must also decide on the buffet, what should we tell the cooks to serve?''
''Seafood'' Sasuke dared, giving a quick glance at Sakura.
''No way! Pork is better'' she disagreed.
''They have a pig as a pet, you can't suggest that we serve them pork'' he reckoned, rather irritated, but mostly impressed with her fierce replies.
''Steak then, not seafood.'' She declared, crossing her arms.
Sasuke snorted.
Kakashi watched them for a second and then started to write down on a piece of paper.
''Steak it is then. And for dessert?''
Sasuke looked at Sakura with determination and said, not averting their eyes:
''Dorayaki''
''Imagawaki'' she replied, looking at him boldly.
''Dorayaki is Mr. Wagarashi's favorite dish, he said so this morning'' he gave her a triumphant look and raised an eyebrow.
''But Imagawaki will please the other guests more!''
''Our concern should be to please the hosts, not the guests.''
''But I don't agree!''
''It's not a matter of agreeing!''
''Sir, are you ready to order?''
Sasuke looked at the menu, confused. He had forgotten to choose.
''I'll just go with ramen''
''Absolutely not!'' she shouted.
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Step 10: Dress attractively!
''Oh… Sakura-chan! You look, uhh...'' Naruto started, but felt he shouldn't finish the sentence, for he knew that he might be punched if he uttered the wrong words.
Incapable of choosing what kimono and what accessories to wear for the festival, Sakura decided that she couldn't go wrong if she wore all of them. Red, green, yellow, blue, violet, black, white, gray, indigo and orange sparkled from her kimono, made of pieces of each of her favorite ones, each ear wearing a different earring, the fingers full of cheap rings she couldn't help buying every time she and Ino went to festivals, the hair full of adornments of different colors and materials. She had never felt more beautiful, and stood proudly wearing all the accessories she loved the most.
Naruto and Kakashi exchanged glances, nodding to each other, silently agreeing that they would do well not to say anything and just keep on walking to the place where the festival would take place.
Many girls during the festival fought to win Sasuke's attention, but to their surprise (and his own too), he couldn't keep his eyes away from the one girl who had all the colors of the rainbow and a few more on her clothes, and a smile that sparkled more than anyone else's.
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Step 11: Show him you like some of the things he likes!
''We thank you both for taking part in our interview today about the life of a Shinobi'' the interviewer started politely. Even though only the Uchiha was invited, she added mentally.
''Hn'' Sasuke replied. He couldn't wait for this thing Tsunade called a mission to be over with.
''First of all, we would like to know a little more about you, Uchiha Sasuke. What is it that you like?''
''Training, fighting and improving my skills.'' He said simply.
''Me too! We are so alike!'' Sakura announced, smiling widely and playfully hitting his shoulder. He just looked away from her.
''Uh, right'' she woman in front of them twisted her nose, displeased with the interruption, but went on ''and what about things you dislike?''
''Annoying people''. He said shortly, closing his eyes and crossing his arms in front of his chest.
''Oh my God, I know, right?!'' Sakura looked at him amused ''It's so terrible to have annoying people around you, because sometimes you just want to chill and have some time for yourself and they just can't stop being inconvenient and disturbing you and-'' she stopped, widened her eyes a bit and peeked at the dark-haired young man sitting next to her. He gave her a significant look, raising one eyebrow, and she slowly shrank in her seat, lowering her head.
The interviewer stared at her angrily and cleared her throat, holding the sheet of paper in her hands a little higher and continuing the interview.
''This is a question from our audience: how do you see yourself in the future? Is there any girl in your life?'' she asked with a seductive smile on her face.
Sasuke held his tongue as he thought better about the answer he should give and then gave Sakura a glance. Smiling knowingly of what she would say next, he made up his mind on what to say.
''No, no one. And I do not know what I want for my future, but I definitely don't want to ever date not marry. I see myself as a single person who stays alone most of the time in the future.''
Sakura opened her mouth a few times, thinking about what to do next. Then, reminding herself that the magazine would never lie to her and that this was for the greater good, she finally said, defeated:
''Yeah, totally! I mean, who needs someone, right? We are so better off by ourselves, Sasuke-kun and I, we just have so much in common!'' and tried to fake a smile to the interviewer, who only gave her an annoyed look.
''And anything you particularly hate, Mr. Uchiha?'' she stressed the last part and glowered at the pink-haired ninja.
He gave her a smirk that inwardly he meant for Sakura.
''Pink hair''
Sakura choked and lowered her head, suddenly feeling heavy inside, and she did her best to hide from everyone the devastated expression on her face.
''I hate to be away from it''.
She gasped.
He smiled.
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This is the first part! This fic should have only one more chapter and I'll try to post it as soon as I can!
I honestly had my doubts about posting this one because English is not my first language and I wasn't sure I would be able to make it sound as good as it did in my head when I first came up with the idea of writing something like this. I promise I did my very best, though! I had never written any humor story before, and I also don't consider myself a particularly funny person so this sounded like a very bad idea, but I had a lot of fun writing it :3 !
My idea while writing this was not to make something big and super funny or a big and interesting story, but something short and cute that people could read and smile! Sometimes we have a tiring day and we just want something light and funny to read and make us smile, even if just slightly, and I was hoping I could make the people who read this smile a bit and make their days a little happier! I hope I managed to achieve that ^-^ ! Please let me know what you think of this first chapter and I'll try my best to write the second and final part as soon as possible!
Thank you so much for reading this, I really do hope you had a good time doing so!