Shiro knows they call him Space Dad behind his back. He's known it for a long time, just like he knows Keith is horribly afraid of snakes and Lance sleeps with a nightlight shaped like Blue in his room. It's simply a fact, a fact that his team doesn't seem to want him to know, but he knows anyway.

Shiro isn't exactly sure how he feels about it. He supposes it makes sense, these teenagers, still children really, latching on the oldest human in their group and looking to him as a parental figure. He's the leader of the team, the eldest of the bunch, the one who gives the orders.

In some ways, Shiro's flattered. Yeah, he understands it's a joke, his team is making fun of him for nagging and caring and overall acting paternal, but the nickname stems from a sense of familiarity and love. These kids, all of them, miss their families, miss theirparents like they'd miss an amputated limb, and somehow have decided Shiro's an okay substitute.

On the other hand, Shiro finds it intensely hilarious, in a horribly sad way, that anyone thinks he acts like a Dad, even a pretend Space Dad. Because he's only 25…okay 26, he's 26 now, so maybe old enough to technically father a child, but definitely not old enough to have fathered these children. Realistically he's the cool older brother, who didn't really grow up with you because of the age gap, but taught you how to drive and stand up to bullies and gave you your first beer. The brother who lives far away, but in a fun place to visit, who always has time to video chat and gives great life and love advice.

That's what Shiro thinks, because that's what he knows. He has one older brother, Ryou, who was off to college by the time Shiro was ten. Despite what the circumstances may present, Shiro's never been a big brother, never been a father. He even skipped a grade in elementary school, so he was a year younger than most of his friends growing up.

Takashi Shirogane has always been mature for his age. But now he needs to be responsible. Like truly and actually responsible for the health and well-being of these four wonderfully weird and perfect kids (with some help from their two new alien friends).

He's faking it until he makes it.

Apparently he's faking it well so far, if the whispers of "Space Dad," are anything to go by.

But then, they had to start calling him "Dad," out loud. The can is open, and worms are fucking everywhere.

000

The first one to do it, surprisingly enough, is Keith. They're in the training room, all of them, standing in plainclothes and listening to Allura as she explains the new mental exercise they'll be attempting. She's talking about bonding and focus and—

Shiro is distracted.

Yeah, he's the leader, he should really be paying attention more than any of them, but instead Shiro finds himself staring at Keith.

Lithe Keith, who is small but strong. Whose arms and shoulders are corded with muscles from months of intense training. Keith, with the balance of a flamingo and the grace of a cat.

Keith is slouching.

And it's pissing Shiro off.

He's pretty sure Keith isn't sick, and Shiro hasn't seen Keith during his nighttime wanderings, so he's assuming Keith's been getting enough sleep. They haven't had a mission lately, so Keith really hasn't had any time to get injured that Shiro would have missed.

Keith has no reason to be slouching.

Coming to this conclusion, Shiro silently sidles over Keith's side, standing by his shoulder and doing his best not to interrupt Allura's instruction. Slowly, Shiro raises his hands, flesh hand above Keith's shoulder and Galra hand an inch away from the middle of Keith's shoulder blades.

Shiro sets his hands down and firmly pulls Keith's shoulders back.

In hindsight, Shiro isn't able to explain quite why he did it, especially so furtively and abruptly. He could have, probably should have, just pulled Keith aside after the exercise and privately told him to work on his posture. Maybe that whole not sleeping thing is just finally catching up with Shiro, and he's not really thinking straight at the moment. Maybe he's just taking the whole "actions speak louder than words" far too literally.

"What the fu—SHIRO!?" Keith screeches, jumping up and away from him. Allura has stopped speaking, and everyone is staring at Shiro, looking rather shocked.

"Uh, Shiro, I'm all for pestering Mullet here, but what were you trying to do, buddy?" Lance finally asks, after a long and uncomfortable silence.

Shiro shrugs, and can feel his face beginning to flush. "Keith's slouching again. It's not good for his health, and it just looks bad. Makes him look grumpy and lazy and emo."

Silence.

Then—

"Oh my GOD-,"

"He actually called Keith EMO-,"

"What the hell-,"

"Jesus Christ, Dad, you could've just told me!" Keith shouts above the din.

And yeah, Shiro knows it's a joke, Keith meant it as a joke, but something horribly wonderful is lighting up the pit of his stomach that feels like it should be burning but isn't.

Shiro apologizes to Keith; Lance, Hunk and Pidge pick themselves up off the floor from laughing too hard, and within a few minutes everyone is quiet again, actually listening to Allura's instruction.

But Keith's standing with his shoulders back, body tall, a smirk on his face when he catches Shiro staring.

And the light in the pit of Shiro's stomach isn't going away.

000

When Pidge calls him Dad, it's what they've figured to be the Earth equivalent of five o'clock in the morning.

Shiro is partaking in what he refers to as his midnight meander (although today its more of a sunrise stroll), trying not to think about….well anything really. Just clear his head and be blank. He's doing pretty well, strolling and listening and breathing deeply.

Then he passes Pidge's lab and sees the light still on under the door.

He is Schrodinger, and for the five seconds before the door opens Pidge is both awake and sound asleep in her bed, the place where Shiro told her she needed to be six hours ago.

But then the box opens, and Pidge is still sitting at her desk, fingers typing furiously, eyes glued to the little screen. Her shoes are untied; there is a stain from the blue food goo Hunk brought her for dinner that evening on her sweatshirt. Three-fourths of the same bowl of food goo remains untouched next to the laptop.

What a little shit.

Shiro walks up behind her, not at all trying to mask his presence. She doesn't look up, doesn't seem to hear him, engrossed as she is in whatever task has kept her busy for the past 30 hours or so. Shiro reaches over her shoulder and, without remorse, shuts her laptop and snatches it off the desk and away from Pidge before she even has time to blink.

"Hey!" Pidge shouts indignantly, spinning in her chair to face Shiro angrily.

"Hay is for horses," Shiro responds, and Pidge has the audacity to snort.

"You're literally such a dad," Pidge says, before expelling a massive yawn. Shiro tries to focus on the suppressing his answering yawn, instead of on the light warming up his gut once again.

"Maybe if I was your dad, you'd actually listen to me when I tell you to go to bed."

Pidge snorts again. "You think my dad was ever able to get me to sleep? He's a smart guy, but he was absolutely hopeless when it came to telling me what to do. Once when I was six, Mom was gone for a month teaching this class in London. I'm pretty sure all I ate was peanut butter and Sour Patch Kids for a week, until I puked and realized maybe vegetables weren't such a bad thing. "

That's something Shiro actually has no trouble believing.

"So your dad let you learn from experience? I can respect that. I'd really rather not watch you pass out from exhaustion right now, though."

Pidge rolls her eyes. "C'mon, not even you have gone to bed yet. What is it, midnight?" she asks, reaching out her hands to grab the laptop back from Shiro.

Shiro raises the laptop above his head.

"Pidge, it's five in the morning. I went to bed and woke up since I last talked to you, kiddo."

Pidge's mouth falls into a little "o" of understanding. "Huh….well, that's…huh."

Shiro tucks her laptop under his arm and grabs for her hand. "It's time for bed, Pidge."

Pidge half-heartedly pulls her hand back. "There's really no point now. I might as well just get up for the day. Plus, Shiro, I was really getting into a groove there, and if you and I both didn't know that I have everything backed up from that laptop onto multiple hard drives I'd be so pissed at you right now and-,"

"Katie," Shiro says softly, "It's time for bed."

Finally, Pidge nods, and Shiro pulls her up gently by her hand. Pidge takes a step, and promptly trips over her untied shoelaces.

"Oof," she chokes out, as Shiro's quick hand slips around Pidge's waist, keeping her upright. Shiro proceeds to set the laptop down on the desk and heft Pidge into his arms.

"I'm not a little kid, Shiro," Pidge complains, as she wraps her legs around Shiro's waist and rests her head on his shoulder.

"You're allowed to be right now." And it breaks Shiro's heart, because Pidge is only fourteen, just a kid, barely a teenager. And she's so tiny and light, not difficult for Shiro to carry at all. She's a little kid by plenty of definitions, but here she is, in outer space, looking for her lost family and piloting alien spacecrafts and fucking fighting an evil empire, and she's had to grow up so quickly. Too quickly.

Pidge wraps her arms around Shiro's neck, and her fluffy hair nuzzles against his throat. "You're a good dad, Shiro."

The lump in Shiro's throat makes talking impossible, so he just pats Pidge's back and walks out of the lab, down the halls to Pidge's bedroom, the light inside him warming him up more than any sunrise on Earth ever had.

000

Allura is a definite surprise.

Shiro isn't sure exactly how old she is. He always figured she was closer in age to him than the other paladins; she certainly acts like it. And, though Pidge and Hunk are working on the conversion from years to decofeebs in their spare time, nothing has been settled on as of yet.

Plus, Allura has Coran. Yes, they all have Coran, Coran is the Real Life AdultTM in their merry band of misfits, and he's wonderful and responsible and strong. But Coran is an Altean, the best friend and advisor of Allura's own beloved father. If anyone should be Allura's Space Dad, it's certainly Coran.

When Allura calls Shiro "dad" for the first time, it's not quite explicitly said, but it's definitely implied, and that's enough to make Shiro glow once again.

It begins at breakfast. Allura is not in a very good mood. She is snappish and rude, she complains about the food goo they have to eat, and the one thing Lance says to her, that she looks nice this morning (in a very honest and reasonable tone, no less), has Shiro worried that the princess is going to swing her arm and let loose a punch that will knock Lance to the floor.

Lance doesn't say much for the rest of breakfast.

For the first time, Shiro has no trouble believing Allura is the Altean equivalent of a teenager.

It just gets worse at training later that morning. Shiro will concede it's not the paladins' best training day ever, but it's nowhere near their worst. If you listened to Allura's groans and criticisms throughout the morning, however, you'd think none of them were worthy of being burger flippers at McDonald's, let alone Paladins of Voltron.

Shiro does his best to offset her reproach throughout the drills and tries to keep the others' spirits up, whilst simultaneously giving Allura his best Disappointed LookTM and trying in vain to get Coran's attention from the observation deck. Because, what the hell? Why isn't Coran saying something, why isn't he telling Allura off, putting her in her place, letting her know that, yeah, maybe she's having a bad day, but that doesn't mean she can take it out on everyone else around her.

Maybe Coran doesn't feel it's his place, because he is older, but Allura is still his princess, technically his queen, really. Whatever the reason, Shiro comes to the realization that Coran is not coming to save the day from this savage, teenage Altean queen, and Shiro needs to do something about it before everyone begins screaming at each other.

"Okay, everybody, let's break for lunch!" Shiro yells, interrupting Allura's latest reproach of Hunk's fighting stance. Hunk looks ready to cry, and Shiro can't take it anymore.

"Excuse me?" Allura rounds on Shiro, fire in her eyes. "You will all break for lunch when I determine you've earned a break! That includes you, Shiro, your performance this morning has certainly been nothing to brag about."

And with that, Shiro is done.

"We will listen to you, princess, once you've gotten your head out of your ass and start acting in a manner worthy of our respect again." Shiro doesn't shout, the words are said at a reasonable volume, but in an absolutely biting tone. "All right, everyone, go get lunch."

Nobody moves. The silence is deafening. Shiro looks around at his teammates, all wide eyed with their mouths open in shock.

Then, Allura explodes.

"SHIRO! You—you dare speak this way to a princess of Altea?!" Allura sputters out.

Shiro can feel himself grinding his teeth.

"And you dare speak this way to the paladins of Voltron? Maybe you should quit your whining and start learning how to use the magic words instead." Shiro turns to the rest of his team, who still seem frozen in their terror. "Seriously, go get lunch, guys. Allura and I need to talk."

The paladins file out of the room quietly, Keith and Lance turning back to give Shiro questioning looks. Shiro gives them a nod and they leave.

Then Shiro finally turns to face Allura.

She still looks pissed, and Shiro's about to apologize, because yes his feelings were justified, but he shouldn't have lost his temper and shouted like that, especially in front of the other paladins. He's about to say as much, when the door suddenly closes behind Hunk.

Allura abruptly bursts into tears.

"I—I'm s-so sorry, Shiro, I'm, I just, I don't—oh, quiznack, I'm sorry," Allura blubbers, hiding her face in her hands. "It's just, it's, i—it's been a bad day, and I-oh, I'm sorry."

Shiro pulls her into a hug. "You're allowed to have bad days, Allura. We all do. Just, just tell us about it next time. Share it with us, don't take it out on us for no reason. It doesn't do anyone any good."

Shiro feels Allura nodding against his shoulder. They stay like that for a while, Shiro unwilling to pull back until Allura does; he will hug her as long as she needs.

"I thought humans didn't have magic," Allura finally mumbles, pulling back from Shiro and looking up at him questioningly.

"What?"

"You said I should use the magic words. I was unaware humans were capable of magical powers, beside the great wizard Harry Potter, whom Pidge and Lance have spoken of incessantly."

Shiro finds himself laughing, despite the circumstances. "You're right, humans don't have magic in that sense of the word, and Harry Potter is unfortunately a fictional character. When I said magic words I was referring to words like "please" and "thank you." Adults on Earth say that to children as a reminder to be polite and respectful to others."

Allura takes a step back and wipes her eyes, sniffling a little before nodding her head. "Alteans call them the mighty words. My parents had to remind me to use them quite often as a child."

"I'm sorry I yelled, Allura, I was out of line."

Allura shakes her head and looks up at him. "No, Shiro, you were justified. It is I who needs to apologize, to both you and the rest of our team."

Shiro nods in agreement. "I'm sure it will all work out, they're a pretty forgiving bunch."

"Thank you, for reminding me, Shiro. To earn respect I must show others respect in return. Please let me know if I ever forget to do so again. I—," Allura takes a shuttering breath. "My parents aren't around to tell me anymore. Coran is too polite sometimes, and I'm counting on you to do so."

Shiro has met plenty of people in his life who have two dads. It's perfectly normal for Allura to have two Space Dads, he decides. The glow in the pit of his stomach is burning even brighter. The heat should be overwhelming, but it just seems to be burning away all of the cold and loneliness of his bad memories.

000

When Hunk calls him dad, the circumstances are rather terrifying.

It's the middle of the night, and for once, Shiro is sounds asleep. Well, he is until a warm hand wraps around his flesh wrist, shocking him into consciousness.

Instinctively, Shiro's Galra arm lights up and grabs the hand on his wrist, his eyes flying open in terror.

"Shiro, shit, shit, Shiro please it's just me, it's Hunk, it's me, please…" Hunk begs, and Shiro's eyes finally take in the boy standing at his bedside.

"Fuck, kiddo, I'm so sorry," Shiro whispers, quickly dropping Hunk's wrist and powering down his arm. He sits up in bed, shame welling in his gut, and notices that Hunk has yet to let go of Shiro's wrist. If anything, his grip has increased, and Hunk is hunched over beside the bed, having not yet met Shiro's eyes.

"Hunk, what's wrong? Oh, God, did I hurt you? Hunk—," Shiro asks hurriedly, because Hunk's doing his best to curl himself in a ball whilst standing and his forehead and the palm on Shiro's wrist are covered in sweat. The thought that Shiro has, unintentionally or not, hurt Hunk has nausea swelling in Shiro's stomach until—

"No, no, Shiro, it's not—You didn't do anything, but somethin's, somethin's wrong with me, Shiro," Hunk says, voice going shrill at the end, as he finally looks up and meets Shiro's eyes. Hunk's face, lit up by the soft light spilling through Shiro's now open door, is absolutely colorless, save for two spots of fever high on his cheeks. The hand not clutching Shiro's is pressed on to Hunk's abdomen, as if Hunk is trying to hold his guts inside.

An otherworldly kind of calm settles over Shiro in that moment. He will remember it later like he was suddenly possessed by a friendly ghost who knew exactly the right decisions to make in that moment.

Shiro gets out of bed and gently prods Hunk to sit on it in his stead. He grabs the covers, and wraps them around Hunk's shoulders when he sees him shiver. He lightly pulls Hunk's hand off his wrist, and walks across the room to grab his communicator and wake up Coran.

Once Shiro has the confirmation that Coran is awake and will meet them in the infirmary in a few minutes, Shiro runs to his bathroom and grabs the trashcan, arriving back to Hunk just in time to catch the stringy bile that is all Hunk has left in his stomach.

All the while, Shiro is talking to Hunk, quietly asking questions; what did you have to eat today, how long have you felt this way, what's the pain on a scale of one to ten? (food goo, an hour, and 8 are the answers Shiro receives. Shiro believes two out of three).

"Sorry," Hunk mumbles miserably, after Shiro catches the vomit in the bin. It seems impossible to Shiro, but Hunk has curled himself into an even tighter ball. It makes him look very small, and very young.

"Don't apologize, buddy," Shiro says, rubbing slow circles on his back, "It's not your fault. Coran's gonna meet us in the infirmary, we'll get you all fixed up. Can you stand up for me?" Shiro asks hesitantly, and he feels horrible because Hunk looks terrified to move, terrified of the pain it's sure to cause him.

"I can have Coran come with a stretcher, how bout we do that, Hunk?"

"No, no, I can make it. I don't wanna just sit here waiting," Hunk replies, and he begins standing up, moaning in pain and leaning heavily on Shiro, but he makes it.

"Good job, kiddo. That's always the hard part. Just lean on me and we'll be there before you know it." Shiro says softly, and slowly they make their way, out of Shiro's room and down the dimly lit hallways of the castle in artificial night.

They have to stop twice for Hunk to puke, which Shiro again catches in the bin he's carting along in his free hand.

"It's okay, it's okay," Shiro soothes, as Hunk groans once again. "We're so close, buddy, just around the corner now."

It takes them another five minutes to reach the entrance to the infirmary. Coran, dressed in maroon silk pajamas that clash brilliantly with his hair and mustache, is standing next to a bed calibrating the scanners as they walk in.

The minute he spots them, Coran drops the scanners and rushes over, helping Shiro carry the flagging Hunk and finally settle him on the bed.

"All right then, my dear boy, let's fix you up, shall we?" Coran says kindly, running his fingers gently through the long shag on Hunk's head before holding up the scanner to run along his body.

"He's got severe abdominal pain, nausea, and his fever's pretty high," Shiro tells Coran calmly, resting his flesh hand on Hunk's forehead to feel the skin burning there. Hunk's eyes close under the gentle touch. Shiro brings his thumb down to wipe the tears stuck on Hunk's cheeks.

"It appears," Coran begins after a few moments of silence, save the soft beeps of the scanner, "that you have some kind of, well, inflammation at the end of your lower intestine, Hunk. It's possible you've contracted a virus or maybe a parasite or-,"

"Oh," Shiro whispers, seeing the results on Coran's scanner for himself.

"Fuck," Hunk moans. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fucking fuck, it's my appendix, isn't it? It's my appendix. Fuck, Shiro, what're we gonna do? We can't, there's no hospital, and it's gonna explode, oh, god, it's gonna explode and kill me. Oh my god, oh my-,"

"Hunk." Shiro says firmly, before crouching right next to Hunk's head and grabbing his hand. "You are not dying today. You're not. I swear to you, even if I have to have Pidge pull up a medical journal and do the surgery myself, we will get that appendix out of you and you are going to be absolutely perfect. Okay?"

Hunk looks up at him, brown eye tearful and wide, but he nods to Shiro.

"Excuse me," Coran interjects, "But what exactly is an appendix?"

Two minutes later, Shiro can tell Coran is completely baffled, and slightly horrified, by the fact that humans are not yet evolved enough to stop creating an organ that is of no use to their bodies, especially an organ that has the ability to become infected and kill them at any moment.

"And this is a common occurrence?!" Coran yelps, still processing this new information on the human species as he injects Hunk with pain reliever.

"I think the stat is one in every ten people has to have their appendix removed in their lifetime. It's most common in your teenage years up through early adulthood. The Garrison made me and Pidge's brother and dad have our appendixes removed as a precaution, just so-,"

"Just so ya don't end up stranded in space, dying as your insides explode," Hunk says with a giggle. His eyes are far away now, and the tears have stopped.

Shiro's pretty sure the pain medication is working.

"What should we do?" Shiro quietly asks Coran, looking up from staring at his hand still gripping Hunk's. "Is there, I don't know, a space hospital we can take him to? I wasn't kidding about the medical journal, I'm not a doctor, but I watched Matt get his appendix taken out, we had a bet, he passed out when he watched my surgery, but if I have the instructions, I've got steady hands, and I'm sure we have the right tools here, and a sterile environment we can create, and-,"

"Shiro, my boy," Coran responds, soft smile on his face, "your dedication is admirable, but I should have no trouble recalibrating one of the pods to remove Hunk's appendix. Give me a few dobashes, we'll pop him in, and in a couple varga it will be as though none of this ever happened."

Oh, right. Magical alien healing pods.

"Hey, hey Shiro. I gotta tell you somethin,'" Hunk whispers loudly, "You gotta know, I gotta tell somebody here." Hunk grips Shiro's hand even tighter.

"Yeah, bud, you can tell me anything," Shiro says, squeezing Hunk's hand back. Hunk takes a deep breath before shutting his eyes tight, as though he can't bear to see Shiro's reaction to whatever it is he's about to admit.

"Myrealnameishenry…"

"Uh-say that again, Hunk?"

"My real name is Henry," Hunk says, eyes still closed, before expelling a huge breath, as though an enormous weight has just been lifted from his chest. "Henry Charles Garrett."

Of all the things Hunk could have told Shiro at this moment, this….this literally isn't even on the list.

Shiro clenches his teeth together to keep the laughter from exploding out of him. He wishes he had a video camera because otherwise Shiro doesn't think even he will believe this happened tomorrow.

"Okay, kiddo," Shiro says, once he's finally pulled himself together. "How did Hunk happen, then?"

Hunk (Henry?) finally opens his eyes. "I mean, I was Henry for always 'til a couple years ago when I started at Garrison and it never, like, fit, y'know man?"

Shiro snorts. "You're talking to a guy named Takashi who went to school in America. Of course I know."

Hunk nods sagely. "Well, anyway, I got to Garrison, and it's like, start fresh, right? So I say, I'll be Hank. Hank is good. I'm gonna be Hank now. Then I meet my idiot roommate Lance (whose name is actually Alejandro, did you know that? His name is fucking Alejandro) and he thinks I say Hunk! Who has the name Hunk? But now I have the name Hunk and I like it a lot. Hunk is me. I am Hunk."

Shiro is sure he's going to break a tooth trying to stop the laughter from leaving his mouth.

"Well, buddy, that's awesome, and I'm so glad you told me this, but why are you telling me this now?"

Hunk rolls his eyes, "If I die, you gotta have the right name on my tombstone. My mom'll be sad if you don't, she likes my name."

And with that, the laughter dies.

"Henry Charles, you look at me right now." The volume is soft, but the tone is full of anger. High Hunk looks petrified. "I told you once, and I'll tell you again, you're not dying today. You're not dying for a long, long time. Coran's getting the pod ready right now, and two hours from now you're going to get out and be absolutely fine. Do you understand me?"

Hunk nods quickly, and continuously, until Shiro uses his hands to steady Hunk's head. That's when Hunk starts to giggle.

"What's so funny?" Shiro asks, small smile spreading on his face from the joyful sound.

"You middle-named me!" Hunk yelps, "You've known my full name for what, three minutes, and you already middle-named me! You really are a dad, Space Dad!"

Fireworks are going off in Shiro's gut, right around where his appendix used to be. They are bright, and colorful, and happy. And two hours later, when Hunk falls out of the pod and into Shiro's arms for the biggest hug either of them are capable of giving, and Shiro whispers, "Feeling better, Henry?" the blush on Hunk's now tan and healthy face has the fireworks continuing even greater and livelier than before.

000

When Lance calls him dad, Shiro would be lying if he didn't say it was the best one of all. Although, the start of it is, once again, terrifying, as so many things tend to be with their lives.

The mission is meant to be a standard intelligence gathering, easy in and out. Hunk and Keith remained in their lions, covering the exits and on stand-by for extraction, while Shiro and Lance went in the Galra outpost to cover Pidge as she hacked the mainframe. Shiro stayed with Pidge, and Lance watched on from the vents.

At least, he did, until thump and a shriek that unmistakably belonged to Lance sounded out over the comms, before his connection ominously cut.

Of course, there is the expected uproar. Hunk and Keith freak out, ready to land and storm the outpost to find Lance, until Shiro convinces them he needs both of them in the air, watching to make sure a ship doesn't take Lance away.

Pidge cuts her intelligence gathering short, and she and Shiro begin scouring the base (which was supposed to only have sentries, and not actual Galra soldiers, but hey, can't be right every time), for their lost blue paladin. And Shiro is getting very, very worried. Not that he hasn't been the whole time, but he and Pidge have been searching the base over an hour with no luck.

No ships have taken off, according to Hunk and Keith, he and Pidge have yet to run into a sentient being on the base, yet Lance's comms are off, his armor's tracker isn't working, and there are absolutely no signs of the kid anywhere, and they'd been through every room on the base twice.

Shiro is getting ready to have one of the boys land and aid with the search on the ground, when a shrill cry stops him and Pidge in their tracks.

"Did you hear that?" Pidge whispers, glancing up at him worriedly, "it sounded like it came through that wall. Could it be Lance?"

"Only one way to find out. Stand back," Shiro says, and Pidge scuttles away as he lights up his arm, tearing through the metal off the wall from which the horrible wails are beginning to taper off. It opens up to, literally, a scene out of one of Shiro's nightmares. Or memories. Well, both. Either way it's purple and gray and horrible.

A Galra soldier and a Druid stand next to a silver table filled with pointy, freaky instruments and needles. There are bright lights everywhere, and both enemies look up at Shiro from staring at the empty armor laying on the exam table in front of them.

Lance's empty armor.

Shiro sees fucking red.

"What did you do?! Where is he?! Where's Lance!? What have you DONE?!"

There's lots of shouting and punching and lights and screaming. Somewhere in there Shiro notices the addition of Pidge's green bayard whipping around as well. Until finally, it is quiet. The druid and the Galra are unconscious and bloody on the ground. Shiro ties them up for good measure before joining Pidge, her eyes tearful and wide, to stare at Lance's empty armor on the table.

"What did they do, Shiro? Where is he? Is he invisible?" She asks, before waving a hand over where Lance's head should be. "He can't have just disappeared! That doesn't make any sense! What's going-," Pidge's tirade is cut off by a sad whimper.

Coming from inside the armor.

As quickly and gently as he can, Shiro unfastens the cuirass of the blue armor. What it reveals takes Shiro's breath away.

"Oh my God," Pidge breathes out beside him.

"Guy, what the HELL is going on? Give us an update!" Hunk shouts angrily over the comms.

"Well, we found Lance," Pidge answers finally. Shiro hasn't moved, still standing there stupidly holding Lance's breastplate.

"Holy shit," Shiro finally says.

"What's happening Shiro?" Keith begs. Shiro lets out a big gust of breath, drops the breastplate, and reaches into what's left of the armor for Lance, carefully minding his head and cradling him gently in his arms, wrapping the white undersuit as best he can around Lance's now uncovered body.

"Pidge, try to get what you can of his armor, I'll clip his helmet to my belt." Shiro says, trying to one-handedly clip the helmet and help Pidge collect the rest of the armor. Pidge nods quickly, grateful to have something to do in this insane situation, gathering Lance's armor in a small netted bag she grabs from her utility belt.

"Are your hands covered?" Shiro asks, and Pidge nods, "Be careful, but get a sample from that syringe, if you can, we need to figure out how to fix it. Maybe Coran can synthesize an antidote from that stuff."

"If neither of you answer me right now, I am landing this lion to fucking see for myself. What the hell happened to Lance?!" Hunk screams.

Shiro looks down at the thing now gurgling in his arms, unsure of the best way to explain to the kid's best friend that Lance is now—

"The Galra turned Lance into the freakin' Gerber Baby."

000

Pidge's explanation, while slightly vulgar, is honestly pretty apt, in Shiro's opinion. Because yeah, everybody likes babies, and everybody says all babies are precious and beautiful and cute. The hard truth is, though, that not all babies are cute. They just aren't. Sometimes they're wrinkly and red, and have weird marks that fade away with age, and they're so bald and cry so much that they just look like small versions of old men. Obviously, everyone loves babies anyway, so it really doesn't matter, but it's the truth.

This is not the case with baby Lance. Baby Lance is abso-fuckin-lutely adorable, and that is not Shiro being biased. Baby Lance could be, probably should have been a baby model. Maybe he was, it's not like that's something Lance would remember to share. Well, actually, it is something Lance would remember to share, so it probably didn't happen.

But baby Lance, holy shit, baby Lance is cute. His light brown hair covers his head in thick ringlets. His face is chubby and tan with the rosiest cheeks Shiro's ever seen. And his eyes, Jesus Christ, his eyes are just huge and blue and shining, taking in everything like it's the most amazing thing he's ever seen, which, in all fairness, it probably is.

"I'm actually going to die, he is so cute." Are the first words Hunk says once he gets the chance to hold baby Lance, and yeah, Shiro can't blame him. Getting out of the compound and back to the castle had been a whirlwind, between locking up their new prisoners, getting Lance's gear and Lance himself back to the lions, and actually flying the black lion with a baby in his hands. So once they all arrive in the infirmary and Hunk makes grabby hands Lance, Shiro is comfortable handing him off.

Lance is actually asleep, which seems completely shocking to Shiro, but apparently getting turned into a six-month-old infant is exhausting, so Shiro won't judge. The baby snuggles deeply into Hunk's careful arms, and his mouth opens in a sigh.

"Like, I actually can't handle how adorable he is. I mean, obviously we have to fix this, but oh my god." Pidge squeals, jumping up and down.

"Jesus, Pidge, be careful with that shit, we don't need you as a baby, too!" Keith admonishes, and Pidge finds a baggy to put the syringe in and sets it on a nearby counter before pulling off her gloves and going to Hunk's side.

"Can I hold him next?" Pidge asks Hunk, but Coran interrupts, as he and Allura finally walk into the infirmary.

"Actually, Number 5, I'm going to need Lance for a few tests now. We need to figure out how to change him back," Coran says, gently extracting Lance from Hunk's arms. Hunk frowns but allows the handoff to occur.

Apparently, the handoff is not gentle enough to keep Lance asleep. He wakes in the middle, staring oddly at Coran with those big blue eyes.

"Oh yes, we will, we'll figure out a way to get you alllll normal again won't we, you sweet boy," Coran baby talks to Lance, using two gloved figures to gently tickle Lance's stomach at the end. Lance giggles.

And Lance's giggle, holy fucking shit. It's like the feeling of being buzzed and Christmas morning and your first kiss all rolled into a perfectly beautiful and glorious sound.

"I'm pretty sure that was the sound of angels singing. Am I wrong? I think I'm right," Hunk says, looking gobsmacked. Nobody contradicts him. And everybody's smiling. Even Keith, which, honestly, Shiro can't help but think, is quite a feat.

000

It turns out, the intelligence they'd gone to gather at the base had been fake, planted information to lure Voltron into a trap. The baby thing was part of the plan, but Lance hadn't been specifically targeted. Any paladin besides Shiro would have worked, according to their new prisoners.

Because Zarkon wanted a paladin of Voltron on his side, to keep in contact and help him track the whereabouts of the lions and the castle. And children are much easier to sway and manipulate than adults.

Hearing the explanation for Lance's abduction and subsequent de-aging makes Shiro feel sick. But actually thinking about sweet little baby Lance being raised by fucking Zarkon and a bunch of druids has Shiro rushing out of the castle's holding cells to puke in the nearest trashcan.

Shiro hurries back to the infirmary which, in the last few hours, has become baby Lance central. He finds Pidge and Hunk sitting on a blanket on the floor, with Lance in Pidge's lap, both of them happily watching Lance destroy the tower they'd built with the Altean alphabet blocks Allura had found in storage.

Keith is probably still in the shower, if Shiro had to guess, and Allura and Coran are pouring over the results from scans of Lance and the syringe's contents.

"Shiro!" Allura says happily upon seeing him, "Good news. Lance's condition isn't permanent! If the druids had the chance to administer this concoction to him on multiple occasions, it most likely would be, but the dose they've given him should leave his system in about 150 vargas by our calculations. Coran could try to synthesize an antidote basted on the poison, but because it's not permanent and won't last much longer, we think it's safer to just leave his system naturally."

"That's wonderful," Shiro says softly, stomach still flipping at the thought of those horrible, horrible beings forcing poison into Lance and making him grow up lonely, and afraid, and without any happiness or family and—

"Shiro, what's wrong? Isn't this good news?" Coran finally asks, noticing his discomfort, and the story he's just heard from the prisoners in their dungeon spills from Shiro's lips without thought. He speaks quietly, but by the end Keith has come to join the circle, hair still damp from his shower. They all look horrified.

"Bastards," Keith says angrily.

"Hey, there are little ears here you fucker!" Pidge shouts from across the room, covering Lance's ears with her hands.

"I think it's about time our friends in the basement were placed in cryo-freeze, don't you, princess?" Coran asks. Shiro has never seen the man look so murderous.

"I couldn't agree more, Coran." Allura answers, and Shiro watches the two hurry off. The Galra and the druid are never seen or spoken of in the castle again.

000

So, for a week, Lance is a baby. And yeah, it's kind of bad because they can't form Voltron, and they really aren't ready for any sort of distress signals or ambushes. But Allura finds a remote planet covered in oceans, with a tropical Island to land the castle on and they sit until Lance is back to himself.

It's almost like vacation. Sure, it's not all fun and games; baby Lance eats all the time, and changing his diapers is rather horrifying. Sometimes he cries, sometimes he absolutely wails, and none of them know why, so all they can do is hold him close until he gets it out of his system. He can't sleep through the night, so they take turns with Lance and Allura's old crib in their rooms, to be sure Lance never wakes up alone.

But, for the most part, it really is fun and games. Coran and Allura pull all of Allura's old baby things out of the castle's storage, including tiny stuffed versions off all five lions of Voltron. Baby Lance latches on to the Blue Lion immediately and barely ever lets it go.

Hunk takes over feeding Lance, pureeing safe fruits and vegetables from their travels into food that would make Gerber jealous. Every meal ends with Lance and whoever's feeding him looking like they've just escaped a food fight, but Lance gets enough nutrition seems to love taking baths, so nobody really minds.

Pidge takes it upon herself to document every moment that Lance is a baby. She's constantly taking pictures of Lance doing, well, anything, and Shiro knows she's saving any security footage in the castle that features Lance this week to a separate hard drive. She says it's for blackmailing Lance later, but Shiro knows that's only part of it. It's a time when they are all safe, relaxed, and happy. Shiro's glad someone is saving proof.

Keith, it turns out, is great at burping Lance and putting him to sleep. This surprises nearly everyone, but Keith just shrugs it off and doesn't really bother to explain. But after every meal, without fail, Keith pulls Lance into his arms with a spit-up rag on his shoulder, and gently pats Lance's back until the baby lets out a little belch, wipes the extra spittle off his mouth, and rubs his back until Lance is out for the count. Keith refuses to let Pidge take pictures of this which is why, Shiro thinks, she began saving down the castle security footage in the first place.

Coran loves to play with baby Lance, and is able to make Lance giggle more than anyone else. It makes them all smile, of course, but it also makes Shiro very sad. Coran is wonderful with children, and Shiro thinks it's probably from experience. It leaves Shiro wondering about what, and who, Coran has lost to this war.

Allura is Lance's favorite, which everyone is simultaneously jealous of and thinks is absolutely hilarious. Because, yeah Lance probably thinks Allura is as nice and fun as the rest of them, but Allura has hair. Long, white, thick fluffy hair that Lance could sit and run his hands through for hours. And Allura allows him to, for the most part, because even she is not immune to the magical cuteness that is baby Lance.

And then, at the end of the third day of baby Lance, Lance is sitting in Keith's lap, watching as Hunk and Pidge use the stuffed lions to form their own version of Voltron to rather comedic results when Allura walks into the room.

"Lalalalala," Lance gurgles out happily, raising both arms up to Allura and making grabbing motions with his tiny fists.

Shiro watches the room explode.

"Oh my god, his first word, it's his first word!" Hunk says, tears in his eyes, "I gotta write this down!"

"What the hell are you talking about, he's saying nonsense," Keith contradicts.

"He's saying 'Allura' dipshit, can't you hear him?" Pidge protests. Keith covers Lance's ears.

"Who you calling dipshit, dipshit? There are little ears here!"

Allura silences them all by picking up Lance from Keith's lap and cuddling him close.

"And who's the smartest, most adorable, most wonderful paladin in the whole universe? You are! Yes you are, my darling!" Allura coos, twirling Lance around in circles.

"Lalala," Lance answers happily, white hair balled up in his fist once again.

After that, getting Lance to say their names becomes a game for the rest of them. Any time one of them thinks they're alone with Lance, they whisper their name to him over and over, trying to get him to say it back. After a lack of success with Pidge, the girl even tries using "Katie" with Lance, to similar results. Shiro even catches Keith at it once, saying "Keith, Keith," pointing to himself as Lance just giggles from his high chair.

Shiro doesn't bother. Saying Shiro would be difficult on the best of days, and Takashi would be an absolute miracle.

000

On the fourth night of baby Lance, Shiro runs into Hunk during his midnight meander, walking a wailing Lance up and down the empty castle halls.

"Shhhh, shhhh, c'mon Lancey-poo, what's wrong? You had a bottle, I changed your diaper, I burped, you, I'm really not sure what else is left, babycakes. I wish you could just tell me…" Shiro hears Hunk whisper as he pats Lances back.

"Hunk," Shiro says softly, but Hunk still jumps, and turns to face Shiro. The kid looks frazzled and exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes already.

"Shiro! Hey, sorry, did he wake you up? I tried to stay away from the bedrooms, I thought maybe a walk might help, but nothing's working!" Hunk sounds desperate by the end.

Shiro gives him a smile and reaches for the still crying Lance. "I got him, Hunk. Go back to bed."

"What! No!" Hunk sputters, "It's not your turn, you already had your turn, you deserve sleep as much as me, Shiro—,"

"Kiddo, I'm already up, and anyway he was really quiet during my night. There's no way to make this totally fair. Go back to sleep, I don't mind."

Hunk sticks around and asks him three more times if he's absolutely, positively sure he doesn't mind before finally slogging back to his bed.

"Hey kiddo, it's okay," Shiro says quietly to the now whimpering Lance as they walk. "I know we have fun with you, but I'm betting this is all pretty strange still. You probably miss your mommy and daddy a whole lot. I can't bring you back to them right now, but I can bring you to someone who might help," Shiro finishes, pushing the door open to their destination.

The Blue lion's eyes light up as she takes in Shiro and baby Lance. She crouches, almost like she's going to pounce, but Shiro knows that will never happen. She looks playful, eyes following both of them as Shiro steps forward. Her mouth is slightly open, and if Shiro didn't know any better, he'd say she was smiling at both of them.

Lance takes one look at her and stops crying immediately. His mouth and eyes open wide, and Shiro takes a moment to wipe the tear tracks from his cheeks before stepping toward Blue again. Shiro realizes, in that moment, that Lance's eyes are the exact same shade of blue as his lion; a beautiful little slice of serendipity Shiro has never taken the time to notice before. Lance's reaches out a pudgy hand, and Shiro continues moving forward until Lance is close enough to touch Blue's paw.

Lance smiles, and lets out a small sigh of contentment.

"Yeah, you know her, don't you, buddy?" Shiro asks, and Lance looks up, smiling at Shiro again. Shiro smiles back, and takes a seat against Blue's paw, settling Lance on his shoulder and leaning his back and head against the metal behind him.

"We'll just stay here a while, won't we?" Shiro says, "I bet you missed Blue a whole lot. Sorry we didn't bring you here sooner, kiddo, we should have realized. But Blue loves you, Lance, that's probably what she's telling you. She's love you so much, and so do your mommy and daddy, and your brothers and sisters. And Coran and Allura, and Hunk and Pidge and Keith. And I do, I love you buddy. I love you so much." Shiro confesses, rubbing Lance's back as the baby snuggles into the crook of Shiro's neck.

"How 'bout you go to sleep, Lance?" Shiro asks, because Lance has calmed down, but he's still awake, and Shiro knows he is going to nod off soon. He doesn't want to leave Lance awake by himself.

Well, Blue's there. But Lance really should get some sleep.

"I don't know, my parents always read to me before I went to sleep. You seem to me like a kid who got sung to sleep every night, though. Am I right? Got any favorite lullabies, kiddo?"

Lance burbles in response.

"Hmmm," Shiro thinks, looking up at Blue crouched around them protectively. "I've got one you might like. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…." Shiro croons.

Lance is asleep before the end of the song.

Shiro's asleep soon after.

000

"Remember how I said baby Lance was so cute I was gonna die?" Well, I lied. This is so cute, I'm actually dead, have been brought back to life, and now I'm dying again because I literally can't handle this."

Snap!

"Well, now it's saved for posterity, so you can look at it and die as many times as you want."

"Shut up, guys," Shiro mutters softly, finally cracking open his eyes, "You're going to wake Lance."

Lance responds by slapping Shiro's cheek, and reaching up his little fist for Shiro's white floof of hair. Shiro ducks his head to let him play with it.

"That's it. It's over. I'm well and truly dead," Hunk says as he watches, holding his hand to his heart as he beams at them. Pidge snaps another picture. Keith watches from behind both of them, arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

"You could've told someone you were going to sleep here, Shiro. You gave us all fu—flippin' heart attacks." Keith complains. Pidge punches his shoulder playfully.

"Aww, Keith, I'm so proud of you! You remembered the little ears."

"I didn't exactly plan it, Keith. Lance was having trouble sleeping, and I thought he might miss Blue. He settled down after we got here, and I didn't want to take him away."

"Ahh we should've thought of that earlier! Big Lance is here, like, every day, they probably both missed each other!" Hunk laments, putting his head to his forehead. "Poor baby, that's why he was so upset."

"I think he's good now, we should just remember to bring him down for visits," Shiro answers, before looking down at Lance. "You ready for breakfast, kiddo?"

Lance, obviously, doesn't answer, but allows Shiro to stand and walk away from Blue.

"Hey, Shiro, I can take him. Go ahead and change and meet us in the dining room," Keith says, hands open for Lance.

Shiro thanks Keith, and walks out of the hangar and back to the bedrooms while the others, already ready for the day, head with Lance to get breakfast. Shiro brushes his teeth, takes a quick shower and puts on some clothes before walking in the dining room.

Today, it is Pidge covered in goop along with Lance, attempting to bribe Lance with airplanes, choo choo trains, and spaceships to get him to eat. They all look up at Shiro as he enters the room, waving hello and bidding him good morning until—

"Daaaaaaa dadada," Lance cries out happily, arms extended to Shiro and hands grabbing toward him.

Everything is silent. Shiro actually takes a step back, he's so shocked.

"H-how's he even know that word?" Pidge finally asks. Lance drops his arms as though sensing the mood of the room.

"I-I was," Shiro stomach is doing flips, "I was just talking to him last night, when he was crying, I said he probably missed his mom and dad, a-and that his mom and dad and all of us, we all love him, I didn't say I was his dad, shit, why does he think I'm his dad-,"

"Da?" Lance says again, question in his voice. One fist is up and grabbing at Shiro again.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Shiro," Hunk says softly, smile on his face.

"Yeah, I mean, you're Space Dad, Lance is the one who called you that first anyway," Keith admits. "For all we know this is big Lance starting to get his memories back."

Huh. That's interesting. Shiro always had his suspicions, but never any proof that Space Dad started with Lance.

"If you don't get over here Shiro, I'm going to cover you in baby food goo," Pidge says, and Shiro finally walks up and grabs the baby out of his high chair, covering his clean clothes in goo without a thought.

"Dadada," Lance gurgles again.

"Yeah, kid," Shiro replies, and his stomach is no longer doing flips. It has settled into a warm and happy glow of contentment. His gut doesn't feel like it's going to explode or burst or combust when they call him dad. It's peaceful. And Shiro realizes, in that moment, that this state of joy and goodness and family isn't foreign anymore, because it's normal for him again. And that makes him happier than he can say. "I'm your Space Dad."

000

Baby Lance ends after day seven. They place Lance on a cot in the infirmary on the seventh night, and take him out of the frilly Altean baby clothes they've been dressing him in. They cover him up, and each take turns kissing him goodnight, before Coran gives him an injection to put him to sleep. Shiro and Pidge remember Lance's horrified and painful cries when this all started. They aren't leaving Lance awake for that again.

The rest go to bed, but Coran and Shiro wait in the infirmary, sitting by the cot and taking turns dozing, just to make sure Lance is all right through the night.

In the end, it happens quietly. Shiro isn't even awake for it, it's Coran turn to watch, and Shiro wakes to Coran calling him over.

Coran is sitting next to the cot, quietly talking to a fully grown, seventeen year old Lance McClain.

"Hey buddy," Shiro says as he approaches. Lance smiles softly at him.

"Hey, Shiro." Lance sounds hoarse, and looks tired. He seems happy, though, and not in any pain.

"I'm going to go get him some pajamas," Coran says, sounding flustered, "We were ready with everything else, and forgot to get him a change of clothes!" and Coran rushes out of the room, leaving Shiro with Lance.

"How're you feeling, Lance?" Shiro asks, and Lance shrugs his shoulders. "Do you remember anything?"

Lance smiles again. "Bits and pieces. It's all kind of blurry. Coran says I was pretty small, huh?"

Shiro smiles then. "Yeah, we figured you were about six or seven months old."

Lance covers his face with his hands. "Oh my God, please tell me mullet didn't change my diapers."

Shiro laughs at that. "We all did, kiddo, had a rotation and everything." Lance groans.

"Oh, God, I am never going to live this down. Like, ever."

"It's not like it was your fault, Lance. We're all just glad you're okay. And, honestly, we had a lot of fun with baby you. Even Keith."

Lance looks slighted as he uncovers his eyes. "I had fun with Keith and I don't remember it? This just isn't fair." Shiro laughs again.

"Don't worry, Pidge has about a thousand pictures, and that is not an exaggeration. Videos, too, I think. You'll probably enjoy the one where Allura calls you the most wonderful paladin in the whole universe."

"You're actually shitting me. Allura?" Lance sputters.

Shiro nods as he smiles. "You were pretty adorable. Hunk compared your laugh to angels singing, and Pidge called you the Gerber baby." Lance finally laughs, full-on, belly laughs at that.

"Well, maybe I can come out of this with some blackmail material, too."

Shiro chuckles, before they settle into comfortable silence. Shiro thinks Lance is actually asleep again, until he speaks up.

"Hey, Shiro?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Did you sing to me? When I was little?" Shiro's first instinct is to lie. Lance was so tiny, there's no way he can remember anything that well, and if Shiro lies now he can cover his tracks and be absolutely fine. But then, Pidge could have video surveillance, and Lance would know he lied, and Shiro just shouldn't lie anyway and—

"Maybe," Shiro responds finally. "It's possible it might have helped you fall asleep one night. Maybe." He expects Lance to smirk or roll his eyes, talk about how this will be great material for black mail as well.

Instead Lance smiles softly again, and Shiro realizes suddenly that Lance's smile really hasn't changed at all since he got teeth and grew up. His eyes still squint. He still has the same dimples. And he still makes Shiro smile right back.

"I liked it," Lance says, not singing, but humming a few bars of the song. "My dad used to sing me to sleep when I was little. I think you reminded me of him."

Shiro really can't help but be touched.

"Well, I was just trying to be a good Space Dad."

"You don't have to try, Shiro. You just are."

These stupid, weird and wonderful kids who slouch and stay up too late, with bad attitudes and burst appendixes, who smile like the sun and insist on calling him dad are probably going to be the end of him, Shiro can't help but think.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

000

A/N: Yeah, the last part ended up being really long, but I had so much fun with it, I just wasn't ready to cut it off! Hope you enjoyed! Please read and review.