A/N: These are a collection of short Shenny stories that I didn't think I could flesh out into full stories. Inspired by Risknight's "A Whole Lot Of Woo" and "The Ramblings of a Warped Mind". Some AU, some could easily take place in the show. All SHENNY, some romantic, some just friendship (but could easily be the beginnings of a romantic relationship). All happy endings (and beginnings and middles; I don't really like angst).

Leonard walked up the stairs towards the apartment he shared with Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D. His neurotic neighbor was in the apartment waiting on him to return with supper, so he wasn't in any particular hurry. As he reached the fourth floor landing, he looked across the hall and noticed a beautiful blonde standing in the middle of the apartment across the hall, surrounded by boxes. Young, attractive, and looking lost; the perfect girl to get into his bed.

Leonard walked over, and lightly tapped on the doorframe. When she looked up, he said, "Hi. My names Leonard, I live across the hall."

"Hi. Penny. I just moved in."

"So, um, I was just returning with supper. Perhaps you'd like to come over, I've got plenty. You can meet my roommate, as well," Leonard said, with a gesture towards the door of 4A.

"Sure, I'd love to," replied Penny with a bright smile.

Leonard opened the door to 4A and walked in, with Penny right behind him. Looking back at Penny, and gesturing towards his roommate, who was sitting on the couch, he said, "Penny, this is my roommate Sheldon." Briefly glancing at Sheldon, he continued, "Sheldon, this is our new neighbor, Penny." Turning back to Penny he said, "Sorry, I didn't get your last name."

"Cooper."

Leonard turned back to Sheldon, and looked at him confused. How could his roommate know her last name? Had he already met her? That couldn't be, Sheldon had been in the apartment all day, and he never went outside if he could help it.

"Her last name is Cooper," Sheldon repeated from the couch. "Penelope. Queen. Cooper."

Leonard looked back and forth between their new neighbor and his roommate, who almost appeared to be glaring at each other. After a few unnerving seconds, Leonard cleared his throat.

"Um, so, Penny, how about some food?" he asked, trying to break the awkwardness, and drag Penny's attention away from his roommate.

After a second longer, she reassumed her cheery disposition and said, "Food sounds good," before moving to sit down in the spot next to Sheldon and reaching for the food bag.

Sheldon watched her warily out of the corner of his eye as she handed out the food.

The slight tension remained throughout supper, but given Sheldon's neurosis, Leonard was just glad there was nothing worse than some slight tension between them. He chalked it up to the ultimate neat freak colliding with the happy go lucky extrovert that their new neighbor clearly was.

After they finished eating, Penny thanked Leonard for inviting her over to eat, but said she had to get back to unpacking. As she got ready to leave to return to her apartment, she leaned over and gave Sheldon a light peck on his lips, before standing up and walking to the door of 4A. With her hand on the doorknob, she turned back and looked at Sheldon, saying sternly, "Don't come clean my apartment in the middle of the night," before walking out and shutting the door behind her.

Leonard stared at Sheldon. "Want to catch me up?"

After a few more seconds of staring at the door, Sheldon turned to face Leonard. "No. I'd really rather not." He then stood up and walked back to his bedroom, closing the door behind him, leaving Leonard sitting in the living room in shock.

Leonard didn't see Sheldon again for the rest of the evening.

Much later that night, after Leonard had gone to bed, Sheldon snuck out of the apartment, and softly tapped on Penny's door.

knock knock knock "penny"
knock knock knock "penny"
knock knock knock "penny"

A few moments later, the door opened and Penny stood aside so he could come in. Once he was in the room, she shut the door behind her, and turned to face Sheldon, who was looking around the messy room with a slight look of horror on his face.

When he started twitching slightly she said, "No, you can't unpack everything and clean my apartment. Sit down, you can find your spot later."

After he grudgingly sat down on her teal couch, she moved and sat down in the other spot. Before he could speak, she said, "No, I didn't know you lived across the hall when I got this apartment, so no, this isn't intentional."

Sheldon just nodded his head, as they looked at each other in silence for a few moments. "What are we going to do about us?" he finally asked quietly.

"Still like me?" she asked playfully, snuggling up next to him and batting her eyelashes at him.

Sheldon leaned down and captured her lips briefly, before pulling back and replying, "Of course."

Penny sat back from him, and turned to face him fully, pulling her legs up under her. "Then we make this work. I think it's best we not tell anyone, we don't want anyone asking questions about why we aren't together, but as long as we're careful about it, we should be able to sneak around them."

Sheldon nodded his head, and replied, "We probably won't be able to get much in, what with Leonard trying to get you to sleep with him and not wanting you to ever be alone with me; which I still don't get since I've never once tried to steal any girl he's had his eye on and he thinks I'm asexual, but he's jealous like that. But what we can sneak in has to be better than the past four years of never seeing you."

Penny smiled in agreement, before capturing his lips once more.

Several weeks later, Leonard woke up in the middle of the night. He had been sleeping poorly lately, and it was all Sheldon's fault. Ever since that beautiful blonde had moved in across the hall, Sheldon had been sabotaging her time. He had repeatedly tried to get his roommate out of the way, and had even told him and the others that he'd seen her first, so he had dibs on her, but he'd yet to be able to get her alone. She only ever came over when Sheldon was there, and she'd even taken to some of his odd quirks, like Laundry Night. Every Saturday night at 8:15, they would both open their apartment doors, and head down to the laundry room in the basement. The few times he had managed to get rid of Sheldon and asked her to come over, or join him for a movie, she had always come up with some excuse.

As he walked back from the bathroom, contemplating new strategies to try to get her to sleep with him, he noticed that Sheldon's door wasn't entirely shut. Which was really odd, since he could have sworn it was completely closed when he'd gone to bed. He lightly pushed it open a tiny bit, and upon seeing Sheldon asleep in his typical vampire pose, he made to close the door. He had pulled the door closed, but had yet to release the doorknob when it struck him.

It was impossible. It had to be a trick of the light. There was no way.

He carefully eased the door back open, and stuck his head through the crack. He certainly hadn't imagined it. There was definitely another shape in Sheldon's bed. And if he didn't know better, it appeared to be a female shape with its arm across Sheldon's stomach, and its head on his chest.

As Leonard tried to lean forward to get a better look, he shuffled and his toe hit the doorframe. His head jerked down, and with a muffled curse he stumbled slightly, and tried to catch himself against the wall; accidentally hitting the light switch in Sheldon's room. His head jerked back up, and he saw two very angry faces staring at him from the bed.

"Penny!?" he said in shock.

She gave a low growl.

Leonard found his voice and turned savagely on his roommate, practically screaming. "You're sleeping with Penny!? You know I saw her first! I called dibs! You can't go around sleeping with girl I love! Bro's before ho's! And you're related to her, for crying out loud! You said her last name was Cooper!"

Breathing heavily, he glared at his neurotic roommate with a look he hoped could kill. During his roommate's tirade, Sheldon had gone from angry to annoyed to bored; Penny was still matching Leonard's glare perfectly.

Sheldon impassively looked back at his short roommate, and calmly said, "There's one slight problem with your claim on Penny. Well, besides the fact you can't 'claim' a girl in the first place. But I digress. You did not in fact see her first, like you claim. Penny is my wife. She has been since before I met you."

Leonard froze in shock.

After a few moments, Penny got up and walked over to the door. Pushing his head gently back into the hallway, she closed the door and locked it. Returning to the bed, she said with a sigh, "This'll go over well in the morning."

"Well, now at least you don't have to leave every morning before he wakes up."

A/N: If you're anti-2nd Amendment, skip Chapters 2 & 3. Chapter 4 only briefly mentions guns at the beginning since Penny and Sheldon are spies.