Brief introduction:

Hey everyone! I've been gone a while due to simply having a busy life (still adjusting to life with the baby, even after almost a year) but I've scrounged together enough spare time over the last half year to write this. This is roughly half of what I was originally intending to post, but the 16000-word chapter was becoming a bit too large for me to oversee properly. Also, I didn't want to keep it back too much longer since I know some of you have been waiting for an update and further waiting for the entire thing to be done would probably take another two weeks at least, assuming I get better from this annoying cold/flu soonish. I guess that's the price of taking your baby to daycare a couple of day terms per week; it gives you some of your free time back, but they bring home the worst of germs.

Ahem :') Well, anyway, here is the next chapter. I hope you'll all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Steins Gate.

"Hey everyone, I'm-"

"OKARIN!"

What looked like a blue blur crashed into him from the left, encasing him in what could only be called a bone crushing hug.

Okabe only JUST remained standing, which by now was becoming a meme of its own.

"Pfwa- Mayuri!? What the-"

"Okarin! You're okay! Thank goodness. I thought that maybe you… I-I thought…"

"H-hey, slow down! What's wrong?" Okabe asked, alarmed and awkwardly looking down on the blue-dressed girl still hugging him.

Said girl looked up, frowning and disentangling herself from Okabe. Kurisu could clearly see the previous concern on her face warp into annoyance, which looked and felt really out of place on the other girl.

But right now, that didn't matter.

Mayuri was right there!

She tried swallowing her nerves away and failed hopelessly.

This had been her best friend. She'd technically died for her, once. Their friendship must have been very special and important to her. Actually, scratch that – remnants of the alpha worldline memories had directly confirmed it.

She was right in front of her, less than five feet away.

In a single word, she decided, Mayuri would best be described as 'cute', all the way to her big blue eyes, framed by a kind face and shortish black hair with multiple gravity-defying spiky endings arranged in a seemingly haphazard yet probably carefully kept manner. Said cuteness was further complimented by a beautiful, shortish blue dress and a matching hat, embroidered by a few small ribbons on the side. Elements of black, white and pink subtly added to the composition without ever feeling out of place. Overall, it looked like a highly skilled tailor had lovingly and ever so patiently crossbred a Disney princess dress with practical clothing, which really wasn't that easy to do. She was forced to concede that Mayuri's sense of style was hands down triple S-ranked, quite possibly better than even her own.

Thus, Mayuri looked like the most disarming and friendly person ever.

…Yet Kurisu didn't have a clue on what to do.

How to make a good impression?

Alpha-her had had it easy, not knowing what was on the line going into this.

'Don't just stand there! Do something!'

She opened her mouth but came up short.

Suddenly, she was back facing an entire hall of students and critics, forced to give a lecture she didn't want to give with just about everything on the line.

Somehow, this felt worse.

At any other time, she might have found humor in how ridiculous that comparison was. But in those agonizing seconds of being taken off-guard and standing there with was probably a fish gape and hand halfway stretched out into the empty space between them, it felt like the worst possible failure. At best, she'd come across as stoned or something. She counted her lucky stars that Mayuri was too preoccupied with Okabe to notice.

"'What's wrong?'" Mayuri repeated to him, "Okarin, Mayushii was really worried when you didn't come back from Mayqueen! Why didn't you pick up your phone?"

"A-ah, you see… I guess I did put it on silent mode. I… had things to do. But I did send a message that I was coming back, right?" Okabe tried, lightly pushing her back.

Meanwhile, Kurisu took the distraction to quietly take a step back into the shadows and recomposed herself.

"That was over two hours ago, Okarin! It took you two hours to get back from the café when it's only a five minute walk! And that was after you were already missing all afternoon," said Mayuri, not relenting in the slightest. "Where have you been all this time?"

"Well-"

"Mayushii and your mother didn't nurse you every day so you could push yourself like this. You need to take better care of yourself! The head nurse herself even told Okarin to avoid strechtu - stren- …Um…"

"Strenuous activity?" Okabe supplied.

"Yes! So why didn't you listen?"

There was something comical about the way Mayuri tried pulling her height over Okabe, despite the massive difference in his favor. But what the other girl lacked in intimidation, she more than made up for in sheer cuteness. If the circumstances had been different, the scene might have made her laugh. It vaguely reminded her of a mother or teacher trying to patiently yet firmly explain to a child why their actions were inappropriate.

"I… guess you're right. I should have taken it easy," he conceded. "But you really didn't have to worry so much. What was the worst that could have happened?"

She sighed. "…Mayushii is really disappointed in you, Okabe," she quietly continued, looking down.

Okabe froze, looking for all intents and purposes if someone had stabbed him in the heart. Kurisu also stiffened – either by instinct, vague remnants of memories or just casual observation of the conversation so far, she knew that when Mayuri called Okabe by his actual name, something really serious was about to go down.

Whatever comical element there might have been previously was suddenly gone, replaced by a stretching silence. "Okabe, you were stabbed only three weeks ago," Mayuri said. "…You nearly died," she then whispered.

"I-"

"But you lived, and everyone was happy for that. Your parents, Daru-kun, Ruka-chan, Faris-Chan and Mayushii. But…"

She trailed off, looking away.

"But…?" Okabe pressed.

No reaction.

"Mayuri, if something is wrong with my hostage then I need to know."

He said it as kind as he probably could, which without the needed context made it sound even more insane. But now that she saw it in action, this strange bond between them, it kind of worked.

Whatever had kept Mayuri back suddenly failed.

"But what if you were attacked again!?" Mayuri cried. "That person is still out there, Okarin. You need to tell your hostage where you're going! Mayushii didn't know where you were, or if you were all right! If you were attacked again, and Mayushii and Daru weren't there… I…"

She finally met his eyes directly. "Mayushii would have to visit two graves."

Then looked away. "And I… don't want to…"

Her voice was fragile with an undercurrent of genuine hurt, something was far worse than any measure of anger. It spoke of broken trust, of something pure callously discarded, even if it hadn't been the intent.

Okabe was silent, frozen in place.

Maybe something like this was simply new for him, coming from Mayuri.

Maybe he'd lacked perspective on how the rest of the world would perceive his actions following the recent trauma.

Maybe it was an unfortunate consequence of withholding information on what had really happened from everyone else.

Maybe it was all of those.

But it wasn't purely Okabe's fault. After all, she had confiscated him for the entire day, and all of that had been spent dealing with the crisis fallout. It wasn't like he had actually had much of an opportunity to keep Mayuri more informed.

Kurisu knew she had to do something; anything to brighten the mood. What sort of friend would she be if she let Mayuri's trust and/or heart be broken and let Okabe take the fall for it by himself?

"I-" she said, having absolutely no clue how to finish that.

"I'm… sorry for making you worry, Mayuri," Okabe began at the exact same time, placing his hands on the other girl's shoulders. To his credit, he sounded genuinely remorseful. That seemed to calm down the other girl almost immediately.

Kurisu inwardly sighed a sigh of relief; maybe she could leave this to Okabe, after all. He had his moments of being really dependable.

"But if it makes you feel better, I wasn't alone."

And he stepped aside.

'Wait, what? No! I'm not ready! Go back to consoling her, you idiot!'

But it was too late.

The other girl's eyes followed his, and just like that they re-met.

Blue eyes met fellow blue eyes.

Kurisu knew there was no getting around it now. But between wondering what to say and being too busy searching Mayuri's face for the answer to the million-dollar question of 'did she remember her', the words weren't forthcoming. Mayuri did have some Reading Steiner capacity, allegedly. So-

"Um… Okarin? Who is this?" the other girl asked, clearly uncertain.

…Ah.

Not exactly what she'd been hoping for…

To make it even worse, there was also no resurfacing memory on her own end.

It was a crushing realization: Mayuri had forgotten her just like she'd forgotten Mayuri. Whatever bond they'd had somewhere in time, neither side of it had made it through to here.

Her shoulders sank a bit.

Well… looking at it positively, they were at least on equal ground, then…

Face with awkward silence, Okabe immediately retook the initiative. "This is Makise Kurisu," he said, gesturing towards her.

Somewhere to his side and further into the room, the sound of typing suddenly stopped. She hadn't paid it much attention so far, but it was made noticeable now by its sudden absence. That absence was immediately followed by a prolonged, grinding, soul-wrenching creak, as if one of the world's most unfortunate chairs loudly lamented its fate of having to carry whoever was on it.

"After some deliberation, I… decided to make her Lab Member 004," Okabe went on, followed by prolonged meaningful nod her way that screamed "Any time now, assistant!"

A flare of anger pushed away doubts.

She huffed and walked forward, closing the door behind her. In passing, she noticed that the door had not one, but two locks, both of which seemed brand new.

A very quick look through the room revealed a very messy interior, with equal parts living room and garage alternating at chaotic intervals. Boxes and parts were everywhere, as were cute-ish decorations and furniture. A yellowish, relatively dim light (most likely a very cheap one) illuminated it all.

Aside from Mayuri and Okabe, the sole other occupant was a drastically overweight yet also somewhat strong looking man in a green t-shirt with a yellow cap. Behind him, his PC displayed what looked like a cruise ship crashed into a glacier, along with a number of anime/hentai style girls clad in very skimpy bikini's. Those contrasting quite drastically with the icy wasteland they were in. A number of strange meters were displayed along the edges of the screen.

That told her all she needed to know - this could only be Hashida Itaru, or 'Daru' as Okabe usually called him.

The alledged hacker silently watched the proceedings with a curious frown.

But all of that didn't matter right now. She knew she was stalling, just like at the convention. The best thing to do was push through it.

"Like he said, I'm Makise Kurisu. Pleased to meet you both," Kurisu said, smiling and sticking to the traditional formal Japanse greeting of dozo-yoroshuke. She was trying very, very hard not to be too offended by what was probably a hentai game openly on display.

To her immense relief, Mayuri's face immediately lit up. "Ah, another female lab mem!"

Then she frowned. "But… That's the third new one today. And there's Luka-chan too. Yesterday it was only Mayushii…"

"Huh? I thought you'd be happy to have more of our friends join us?" Okabe asked, glancing at her as he walked further in.

"Of course I like Faris-chan and Luka-kun being labmems!" she said. "But… Mayushii doesn't really know Moeka-san or Kurisu-san. Mayushii needs to get used to having so many more other labmems so quickly…"

"Well, I'm really happy to be here!" Kurisu quickly said, trying to steer the conversation away from direct objections to her joining. "Your lab looks so… so…"

A further scan of the interior showed her a lot of oldish-seeming machines, like a ventilator fan, a CRT television and an absolute mountain of boxes on either side of the small kitchen, some even on top of the fridge itself. Machine parts of all different kinds seemed to be everywhere, haphazardly scattered about. Somewhere further in the back, she could make out a dark room within which the reflections of light blinked on many a reflective, metallic surface. Throughout it all was the faint scent of banana that seemed completely at odds with all the machinery.

"So… filthy?" Frontal lobe supplied.

"Messy?" Limbic system added.

"Cheap?"

"Like a living room, lab and garage had an unholy threesome and this place somehow was the result?"

"-great," she finished, lame yet hopefully convincing.

Okabe shot her a look of amusement.

…Actually, the more she looked at it, the more she decided she did like it. It was messy, yes, but at the same time, it was still was homely and had an assortment of Froggyfad and Upa merchandise to liven things up, often mixed with the boxes. Those gave it all a more relaxed atmosphere. And that scent… for some reason, it made her want to smile.

The kitchen was a nice added bonus, seeming at least decently functional. There were a lot of exotic ingredients readily available, ripe for experimentation. Perhaps brownies mixed well with motor oil? It would be great to cook with Mayuri once and have Okabe taste test the result! It was a definite win-win in the making.

She nodded, enjoying that prospect.

This place was so different from the sterile lab environment back home. It was like the room wasn't entirely sure what it really wanted to be. But that was fine, since it gave it a distinct charm. Maybe it was a representation of teenagers still trying to find out who they really were.

Or maybe she was reading too much into it and the people here were just too lazy to clean up properly…

"Mayuri's the lab's head of cosplaying, " Okabe said, drawing her out of her musings. "She makes all these great outfits for us."

"Ah! That's right," the other girl said, brightening up again. "One time, Mayushii even made Okabe a custome of Kuoujiro when he asked her to."

Suddenly, said mad scientist seemed very interested in the ceiling.

"Really? The flame user from not-Avatar, er, I mean, the king of histories?" Kurisu asked, amused and gratefully taking the opening.

She tried to picture it. The image of Okabe in an overly dramatic kung-fu pose came really easily, flames surrounding his hands.

'Gee, I wonder why.'

…Wait.

Had she just given away that she knew more of anime than a self-respecting scientist ever should!?

"U-um, not that I'd know of this show or anything! Haha, ha…"

She was met with stares of skepticism, confusion and amusement, depending on the respective labmember.

"Kurisu is also pretty good with her needling, Mayuri," Okabe continued, still grinning. "Maybe the two of you can make something together?"

"Really!? Another female labmem who is also a seamstress!?"

The sudden enthousiasm was way, wayyyyy off the charts.

Kurisu laughed nervously. "Uh, well, I do a bit of it as a hobby…"

Okabe smiled. "I'm sure the two of you will get along just fine. So, Mayuri, do you have any objections to Kurisu joining us?"

"Hmmm…" Mayuri took a step closer, then another, and peered deeply into her eyes. "Kurisu… Ku-ri-su…" she repeated, as if tasting every syllable. She squinted as if deeply thinking about something. The other girl was leaning forward so far she almost toppled over.

Kurisu involuntarily took a step back. "A-Ah, yes. Like I said, I'm Makise Kurisu. Nice to meet you! …Or have we met before?"

"Ah! No, I don't think so. But it's a really nice name! Can I call you Chris-chan?" Mayuri asked, smiling again.

And just like that, she was in.

She couldn't help but let out a chuckle over how easy that had been compared to how worked up she'd been over this. Of course, being in the lab didn't mean securing the friendship yet. She had a clear opening, now she'd just have to not screw up and everything would be fine. She'd also have to find some way to thank Okabe later, for expertly manipul- er, setting up Mayuri's approval. Yeah, best to call it that.

"Almost everyone just calls me Kurisu, but if you want to, sure," she replied, too relieved to care much. "Oh, and can you show me some of your work later?"

Kurisu wasn't quite ready for the hug, but she got it anyway. "Of course! I have all these great outfits and I'm sure you'd look great in them."

"Ah, that… sounds nice, Mayuri," she managed, just as she let her go.

"Wait, - what was that last bit?"

"So, I take it you have no objections to her joining, Mayuri?" said Okabe.

"Nope!" she chirped happily.

"Hold on, can we get back to what she said earlier? Is she going to force us into cosplaying? Aren't those usually really skimpy outfits when it comes to girls? And did we just say 'yes'?"

'Shush!'

"But what about-"

'Re-Shush! Get off my back.'

"No, really, not in front of Okabe, AND DEFINITELY NOT in front of some guy who's supposedly a huge pervert!"

'The top end of my back is where you are and I'd like you to vacate the premises!"

"What about you, Daru?" You've been very quiet about this," Okabe pointed out.

Said man gave no indication he'd heard anything said to him, nor did he move: he just stared ahead blankly.

"Um, Daru? Hello?"

Still nothing.

The mad scientist groaned. "Hentai."

"Where is the hentai!?"

"On your PC. Also, welcome back."

"Aw… Did you really have to do that, Okarin? I was blissfully replaying this super-moe moement of two cute girls hugging each other right in front of me."

Kurisu inwardly groaned. "Perversion: confirmed."

Had that already been enough to set him off? At least she'd had a warning…

"Yes! And if you're done fantasizing, I was asking if you had objections to Kurisu joining us."

The other man sobered and crossed his arms. "Honestly? I have so many questions and objections right now, Okabe," Daru replied. "But I'll settle for the most important ones first."

Okabe blinked. "Which are…?"

"First, what happened to your face?"

"My face? What about my-"

He reached for the side of his head and flinched.

Unfortunately, Mayuri's gaze followed the movement and came to rest on the ONE thing Kurisu really didn't want to draw attention to right now. She was so, SO close, even had Mayuri's consent to be a labmem!

…Yet there was only so long that panic, poor lighting and very close proximity could do to hide Okabe's swollen eye from Mayuri - especially since two out of the three were now absent.

"Eh!? Okarin, what happened to your eye!? Did you get into a fight!? Were you attacked anyway!?" she asked, instantly alarmed.

Panic flared as Kurisu realized she couldn't tell the truth.

Okabe threw her a nervous glance, obviously thinking the same thing.

And neither of them had a credible alternative!

"A-ah, it's nothing Mayuri. No one attacked me, I just… well…"

'Got punched in the face by Kurisu really hard,' she mentally finished for him.

What was she going to tell her!? "Yeah, I kinda decked your best friend (?) in the face because he was being a stubborn idiot and totally deserved it. I'm Kurisu, by the way. Let's be friends?"

Okabe clearly had no brilliant idea either, as he trailed off, unsure. It wasn't very convincing and if anything only seemed to upset Mayuri further.

"O-Okarin, you were just out of the hospital today, finally okay… Mayushii and your mother were there every day…" she swallowed, hesitating. "If you weren't attacked… then… did you hurt yourself, Okarin? D-did you stab-"

Her lip was trembling.

The sight of an almost crying Mayuri was too much for her to take.

Unfortunately, the same was true for Okabe.

They both apologized at the exact same time.

"N-no, I just fell from a table!" he quickly said.

"It was my fault!" she said at the exact same time.

Oops.

Mayuri blinked and glanced between the two of them, momentarily confused.

Meanwhile, Daru's eyes widened in shock. "Wait, Okabe! Bro alert! You did what!? Are you telling me this girl seduced you and turned you into a normal!? Normals must die, Okabe! Didn't we make a pact!?"

"I am NOT a normal!" Kurisu scathed.

"And she didn't seduce me either!" Okabe said, backing her up.

"Oh really? Then what were the two of doing on a table at MayQueen two hours after closing time? And how exactly did these 'things' result in Okabe getting a black eye? It sounds like some seriously kinky stuff to me. And in a maid café, no less! This kind of thing would definitely make good fanfic material!"

URGH!

That sounded so much worse than what had actually happened!

"Kin…ky?" Mayuri asked. "Daru-kun, what does that mean?"

"Ah, Mayushii! Come here and uncle Daru will happily introduce you to-"

"AHEM! No! Just, no! We don't want to hear your explanation, Daru! And what did we say about discussing these kinds of topics in front of Mayuri?"

"Lame! But sure, let's get back to what you were doing then, Okabe?" Daru countered, crossing his arms.

"First, it really wasn't anything like what you're implying!"

"Sure it wasn't," Daru snorted. "So how about the way back, then? It took you HOW LONG to get back here? Another two hours? That must have been some walk. Don't tell me you got lost somewhere between the glorious twin fleshy mountains of 3D-"

Kurisu reflexively covered herself. "W-what the hell!? Shut up, you pervert!"

Manners be damned, no one was getting lost between those anytime soon! Not even Okabe!

"But that's not even what I want to know most, Okabe. There's one thing you need to tell me RIGHT NOW," Daru continued, completely unfazed, completely serious. "…Was Faris involved?"

"NO! And just to emphasize: hell no! We were alone like the entire time, and Faris left long before-"

"YES! THANK YOU, GOD!" the fat man cried, falling on his knees, "HE DIDN'T TAKE HER TOO!"

The other man facepalmed. "Daru. Do me a favor and die," he groaned. "You might be an acceptable loss."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Um, Mayushii doesn't understand," Mayuri admitted, obviously puzzled. Her earlier distress was completely gone - she probably really wanted to believe Okabe's injury had been an accident, even if the story presented to her was full of holes. "Faris told Mayushii that Okarin was helping her at MayQueen… but she didn't say Chris-chan was there. And Okarin says he was there with Chris-chan but not Faris-chan…?"

Innocent eyes searched around for an honest answer and those were in very short supply.

"Ah, Mayuri, I was just… um… fixing the lights! And I simply fell. Nothing to worry about," said Okabe, hands in pockets, trying to look composed.

"Y-Yes! And I just distracted him at the wrong time," Kurisu quickly added.

"I'll just bet you did, Makise-shi," Daru deadpanned. "This 'distraction' sounds both sketchy and hot as hell. Some guys just have all the luck."

"D-Don't call me Makise-shi! My name is Christina! Wait, no, Chris-cha-! Argh! Why do all of you keep giving me different names!?" she cried.

Unfortunately, the original topic stuck. "But Mayushii works at MayQueen and Faris-chan never told Mayushii the lights didn't work?"

Good game, well played.

"Ah-"

"Well-"

"Actually, Faris did tell me something like that at lunch," Daru said.

Kurisu blinked. What? Was Daru suddenly helping them?

'Maybe he's a decent person after all?'

"Really? …Oh, I see! Faris-chan probably didn't want to worry us," the blue-dressed girl concluded.

Okabe sighed. "Thank you, Daru."

"No problem, dude. And seeing as our pact is broken anyway, you can thank me by telling me how you managed to score a piece of that."

He pointed to Kurisu.

'Okay, never mind.'

"A piece of 'that'?" she scoffed. "I'm a person, not an object, you know! If you're going to be a pervert anyway, then at least say 'a piece of her' instead!"

Mayuri blinked. "Huh? 'A piece of her'? Did you eat Chris-chan, Okarin?"

Her brain fed her all the wrong images, and all she could do was look away and hope her face wouldn't match her hair color. To her side, Okabe was also very deliberately not looking at her, most definitely thinking about the exact same things. That made it even worse.

"Maybe we should reconsider this. We've only been here for ten minutes and I can already feel my remaining sanity slipping away," herFrontal Lobe suggested.

'No way! We have to keep Mayuri safe from this pervert! Get behind me, Mayuri! I'll protect you!'

'Have you ever considered that maybe Mayuri is also a pervert and that she's just hiding it behind a veil of innocence?'

'…You're crazy. What could possibly make you think that?'

'There's this huge stack of doujinshi novels at the back there, and unless Okabe or Hashida are into guys…'

"Okay, enough with the insanity!" Okabe cried. "Can we please get back on point? You know what happened to my face, now was there something else? We need to officially make Kurisu a labmem and then we have important lab matters to talk about!"

"Okay, Okarin. So what possessed you to change your mind?"

"Change… my mind? About what?"

The other man gave him a sarcastic stare. "What do you think?"

"Right now? That it's very late and that I'd really like to get some sleep, but that there unfortunately are things I have to do first. Such as repeating the question of 'What the hell are you talking about' when I obviously don't know the answer," Okabe replied.

Daru sighed. "Really, Okabe? After all your previous chuunibyou crap on her, you pull this AND act like you have no clue?"

Kurisu shot a sideways inquiring look at Okabe, just to conform he indeed had no clue whatsoever. Which, as it turned out, he didn't.

Apparently neither did Mayuri, who'd moved to sit herself down on the couch. She'd grabbed a Upa pillow below her elbow and leaned forward, still listening intently.

"Um… Daru, could you remind me exactly when we discussed Kurisu, and why?" Okabe tried. "My memories of before getting stabbed are a bit fuzzy. I heard something about some drugs having side effects on memories."

He somehow said the last bit with a straight face. Obvious Reading Steiner cover-up was obvious.

"Ah, It's okay, Okarin! You can take it easy," Mayuri promised, patting his back encouragingly.

Daru, however, was less sympathetic and/or easily fooled. "…Is this some kind of joke, Okabe? Something to set me up or something? Because if it is, it really isn't a good one. Though I can't fault your sense of taste! You know I wouldn't really complain much about having EVEN MORE super-hot girls in the lab."

His gaze roamed over her in decidedly uncomfortable ways. It was well below socially acceptable level both literally and figuratively.

"My eyes. Are up here!" Kurisu growled, taking a step back and barely resisting the urge to cover herself again, even though she wore her normal outfit. "I've had enough of you, you pervert! Keep this up and you'll find out just how expensive of a sexual-harassment lawsuit I can be!"

She channeled all of her mother's best icy glare and saw him blanch. Even as she did, she realized she was maybe being overly aggressive towards someone who might have been able to still block her lab membership. But there was only so much of this she could take.

To her great satisfaction, Daru instantly backed away and laughed nervously, not daring to meet her gaze. Mayuri looked between the two of them and seemed like she was about to say something, but Okabe was quicker.

"I invited Kurisu specifically for her scientific prowess," he quickly said. "And as you very well know, we have rules against copulating with fellow lab members!"

"We do?" the fat otaku asked.

"Obviously!"

"Then is it too late to revoke Faris' membership?"

"But Mayushii likes Faris-chan being a labmem!"

"Okay, I'll settle for just removing that rule entirely? Since, you know, Okabe comes up with random new ones every day anyway?" Daru tried, edging away from a pouting Mayuri.

"Look, no one is going to remove Faris from-" Okabe began, returning Mayuri's earlier pat.

"Hashida-san," Kurisu cut in, automatically reverting to polite Japanese even if he DEFINITELY didn't deserve honorifics, "I'd still like an explanation for your earlier outburst. What has Okabe been telling you about me before he was hospitalized?"

All three other lab members looked at her and she was worried she had somehow overstepped her bounds.

Then Mayuri and Okabe turned back on to Daru, who suddenly looked decidedly uncomfortable. Mostly at her.

"Um… well… actually, if neither of you know, then maybe it was just a troll and we should all just forget about this…" he mumbled.

"Daru! You can't go making vague ominous statements like that and then suddenly back out!" Okabe cried, pointing the finger of accusation.

"Are you serious? Dude, you do the EXACT SAME THING every day, sprouting Chuunibyou bullshit about some organization out to destroy the world and never making any sense whatsoever!"

"That's… different..."

"Don't be mean to Okarin, Daru-kun. He's still getting better!" Mayuri chided.

"Mayushii…"

He looked at each of them, still hesitant. "I shouldn't. It doesn't make much sense."

"Come on, Daru! I'm serious – I've forgotten and apparently this is important. Tell me. Tell us."

"No, really man, maybe this isn't the best idea right now-"

"Just do it."

"It's your funeral."

"Muhahahaha!"

The patented Kyouma-laugh took them all by surprise.

Kurisu and Daru flinched from the sudden volume.

Mayuri, however, gasped in… delight?

"Daru, my right-hand man," Kyouma-mode Okabe said, "I admire your resolve to keep information from the hands of the Organization, who may very well be listening in on us now!" Ironic, she thought, since that could actually be true. "But in order for me to re-establish my reign following such a cowardly attack on me, I, as the supreme mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma, need this information from you ASSU SOONO ARSE PUSSYBULU!"

…She just hoped the Engrish was deliberately even worse than usual just to make the potential SERN listener want to reconsider all his/her life choices and promptly look for other job openings. Or, you know, kill themselves, which also worked.

To his credit, Daru quickly gauged her reaction to this, probably to see if she'd go running to the hills. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending how you looked at it, she was way too used to it now to be bothered.

"Well if we're going full-on crazy anyway, then sure," Daru then shrugged. "Some time ago, a few weeks before you were attacked, you started going on and on about someone claiming to be Makise Kurisu. This person had approached you through the channel boards under the username "Kurigohan and Kamehamea".

Kurisu froze.

Oh.

Right.

Why hadn't she thought of this herself and mentioned it to Okabe first!?

"So you told me she was thanking you for saving her from some stabbing at Radi-Kan and that she wanted to meet you," Daru continued. "She'd been convinced you were also stabbed and might be dead, or something like that, when you were obviously fine. Of course, you were your usual Chuunibyou self about this and figured that she, I quote: 'Was either the craziest and most deranged person out there on the internet, or a spy sent by the Organization specifically to lure, seduce and kill you and that we should avoid talking about this to anyone. Especially to Mayuri, so that if the two of us were to fall to temptation from this maneater, at least she'd be safe from this monstrosity.'"

Silence reigned in the room following this description of events.

Okabe made a choking sound, staring at Daru in open disbelief, who in turn just shrugged in an 'I warned you!' kind of way. Then the mad-scientist-wannabe ever so slowly glanced over to her with eyes that screamed 'Please don't kill me! Please? …Kurisu?'

Meanwhile, Mayuri nodded thoughtfully, as if the pieces of some elaborate puzzle had just fallen into place. "Maneater…? So Chris-chan ate Okarin too? I see…" she mused. " W-well, it's nice to hear that Okarin and Chris-chan get along so well. Haha… ha…"

The other girl sounded incredibly strained. Kurisu could practically see the gears in mind turning, reconsidering whether or not having her around was such a good idea after all.

That pushed her strange equilibrium between finding it somehow hilarious and wanting to murder Okabe into the latter.

"OKABE!"

"Ah, haha…!"He tried, slowly backing off, then suddenly pausing. "… Wait. You knew about this, didn't you? This would have been important information going into this, assistant!"

"W-well, it's not like we didn't have a lot of other things to discuss! And what did you just call me!?"

"That was the me from like two months ago!"

She opened her mouth to object, then stopped herself.

He was objectively right.

She knew that.

And there was more to it than the surface statement: the him from two months ago from this timeline was the version of him before he went into all the timeloops. The actual time passed, for him, was much longer. And what Daru had just said was pretty much exactly what she'd have expected from the paranoid delusional version of him she'd first met at her father's lecture.

The current Okabe wouldn't have actually said this, since he'd entered this timeline at a point after this had all already been said. And finally, he'd consequently lost his memory of this timeline due to how his Reading Steiner worked. Essentially, it was the universal will screwing him over by constructing this timeline with actions it believed he would have taken, based on his previous, overly Chuunibyou self. If, of course, their theory about how timeline shifting and Reading Steiner worked were correct.

In this, he was essentially blameless.

…But to be called a maneater? Crazy? Deranged? A presumed murderer? Essentially completely without any morals? That was the single worst thing anything had ever said about her! It was hard to let that slide – to not grab that knife from the kitchen there and sagitally, transversely AND frontally dissect all of his sulci SO THOUROUGHLY that only the most obsessed anatomical genius could ever piece it all back together!

It was so, so difficult!

…But no.

She shook her head and, in a moment of what she considered absolute zen tranquility, forced herself to calm down. Continuing this argument was pointless and if anything would just further damage her image in the eyes of the other labmems.

"Actually, Okabe, that's how you've always been, not just two months ago. No offense," Daru replied, then shrugged apologetically to Kurisu. "Sorry to break this to you, but it's the truth. Your guy is a nutjob. Please don't sue me for warning you."

"H-he's not 'my guy!'"

"And some friend you are, Daru! Oh, to have such a such a cruel fate, stabbed in the back by my own right-hand man! The lab's founder, beset by enemies on all sides, even from within!"

"But… Mayushii doesn't think Okarin is the same," Mayuri said, squinting at him. "Okarin hasn't been… well…" she paused, then made a vague swirling motion with her hand. "It's hard for Mayushii to put into words."

Kurisu waited on Mayuri to continue, but when she didn't she took the initiative herself. "Um, Mayuri-chan? Just for the record, I'm not a maneater or anything else Hashida-san just said. I'm, just a normal seamstress scientist girl. …But not that normal, of course!"

Daru gave her a flat stare. "Well, anyway, I'm more concerned something else, Makise-shi."

She sighed. "Don't call me-"

"The real problem is, if you are the same Makise Kurisu who sent that message-"

She knew what he was going to say, and still hoped he wouldn't get to that conclusion. But unfortunately, Daru would be too clever not to.

"-then what was that about Okabe getting stabbed? Very coincidentally, the exact thing you were worried about happened to him just a month later. How do you explain that?"

An inquisitive stare met hers. The thinly-veiled accusations couldn't be more obvious: she might have attacked him herself, or had either arranged someone to do it for her. At the very least, she'd have failed to stop this from happening when she'd had prior knowledge of it.

To her side, Okabe went still, scouting the room. It was more subtle than he'd done back on the streets, but she recognized the pattern easily, how his eyes seamlessly slipped from part to part, object to furniture. It was easy to guess what he was thinking: this was starting to enter dangerous territory. What if SERN was listening in? On the other hand, if they were, and they left NOW, right after discussing this strange possible temporal anomaly, it would be at least somewhat suspicious. After all, a much less obvious but still possible explanation to Daru's claim was that timetravel had been involved; would SERN take up that lead? Did they already know about the phonewave, which had been destroyed in this timeline by Okabe and Daru not too long ago? To what degree had they performed experiments before and when had the possible SERN surveillance equipment been installed?

Gah – she was starting to become paranoid again…

"Leave her alone, Daru," Okabe said. "That was long before it happened, so it couldn't possibly be related. And I wasn't attacked by her. You think someone that scrawny could ever successfully harm me, the great and mighty Hououin Kyouma?"

She admitted it was a decent attempt, though she promised herself there'd be repercussions for that totally unnecessary scrawny bit later.

Oh yes, there would be.

Mayuri tilted her head slightly to the side, silently watching him.

Unfortunately, that alone didn't deter Daru. "It still seems a bit shady to me, Okabe. And we had a gadget that specifically-"

"It wasn't me!" Kurisu instantly blurted out. If SERN was listening in, talking about the phonewave in detail in this context was very dangerous.

Daru turned to her, obviously surprised. "What do you mean, 'it wasn't you'?"

"W-well, just like I said. It had to be someone impersonating me on the site, trolling you."

"If that's true, why were you so angry when I told you about Okabe's reaction to this?"

Derp.

Well. Um. Yeah.

Rekt?

"It just… reminded me of when we first met. He said something similar to me back then, for no reason whatsoever. I guess I'm still not entirely over it."

The green-shirted man just stared at her, obviously skeptical. "Nullpo."

"Gah."

Re-Oops.

"Interesting. You seem to know channel memes, Makise-shi."

"D-Don't call me that! And it's not like you have to use the channel boards! That meme is very well known throughout Japan."

"I disagree, and I thought the real Makise Kurisu had been living in America for years? At least, that's what the tabloid article said."

"I AM the real Makise Kurisu! And I'll thank you not to mention any of those trashy pieces they write about me."

"In that case, how do you know definitely obscure channel memes when you're supposedly isolated from Japanese society?"

"Yeah, Kurisu. How DO you know that?" she asked herself.

The lamest excuse was the only one she could immediately come up with.

She sighed dramatically. "Okay, I'll admit it. I do use the channel forums. But I have a different username."

"Which is?"

"I-I'm not telling that to someone I just met so you can hack my account and do creepy things with it, you pervert!"

"Hey - I'll have you know I'm a gentleman pervert!" he countered. "And how do you know I'm a- wait…" His eyes trailed to her companion. "Oh ho! Have you been telling the ladies about my many talents, Okabe?"

Okabe, however, only facepalmed again.

She threw a meaningful look his way that screamed: 'Well what else was I supposed to say!?'

He shook his head, mumbling. "Not that. It's just that I could have sent you a message instead of looking all over the city…"

She made her stare bore right into him. "You are supposedly a genius and in all your attempts to find me you somehow didn't ONCE think of sending me a message through the internet, leaving all of this entirely to chance!?"

He had the decency to blush. "I just thought you wouldn't want to have anything to do with Japan..."

"Then why did you look for me at all!?"

"What are the two of you mumbling about?" Daru asked.

They both froze.

"Well, if Chris-chan and Okarin both say it wasn't her then everything is fine, right?" Mayuri reasoned, breaking the silence.

Okabe quickly nodded. "Correct, Mayuri. It obviously wasn't the same person. Do you really think I'd invite someone that crazy into the lab?"

Daru coughed.

"…other than myself."

The fat pervert mulled it over. "I suppose… Actually, no, I still have a lot of issues with this, Okabe!"

Said mad scientist sighed. "Even more? Like what?"

"Like how exactly you managed to convince an actual scientist from a world famous laboratory to join a ramshackle lab like this?"

"I asked her and she said 'yes'."

Daru did a really good fish gape. "But- but why?"

"Why not?" she grinned, enjoying his incredulity.

Ah, sweet, SWEET revenge!

"B-Because I'd expect a world-class scientist to have better things to do!?"

"I was stuck in the area anyway, doing lectures. But in case you want actual proof, here is my Viktor Chondria ID."

She produced the badge from her wallet.

He looked at it for a good fifteen seconds, scanning both the front and back. "Hm… it is real, that's for sure..."

"Oh, wow! So Chris-chan is a real scientist, like Okarin? That's amazing!" Mayuri cheered.

"Thanks, Mayuri-chan! And of course it's real, since I'm-," she blinked. "Wait, how do you know what an actual Viktor Chondria ID looks like, Hashida-san?"

"…Lucky guess?"

Intensified glare: go!

It was super effective.

"Okay, okay!" he threw up his arms in surrender, and she reveled in how nice it was to have him on the defensive for once. "In my… 'other job', there are a lot of requests for ways around your University's security."

"…What!? Are you making counterfeit badges so people can steal from Viktor Chondria!?"

"Hm. Stealing is bad," Mayuri nodded sagely. Kurisu felt they were getting along better already, despite the conservatively estimated 50 or so points of IQ difference between them. Of course, that didn't make Mayuri any less precious. It just meant Kurisu would have to be the big sister looking out for her.

Daru shrugged. "No, I passed on that, though I've done more difficult things in the past. These sorts of requests surface regularly, Makise-shi. It's just how the world works: Institutions like yours draw attention from many different corners. Everyone wants the best possible technology and only for themselves if they can help it. There's lots of good money to be made in the process and I'm one of the very best at it. Also, If I somehow still can't do it myself, there's a good chance my… 'associates' can."

For a second, she could see the supposed mythical hacker through the thick smog of perversion that surrounded him. Maybe even a sliver of the man who could fix highly advanced future technology originating two whole decades from now with only what was currently available.

But…

"Are you intentionally lowering your voice?" she asked.

"A-Ah. Um. No?"

Okabe grinned. "And for all that supposed money, he always wears knockoff sandals and the same cheap shirt."

…and it was gone.

Owned, as they said.

"Uncool, dude. I was having a badass, mysterious moment here! And you have no idea how expensive it is to collect all the hot waifu's in the world!"

"Cry me a river! You should know not to flaunt your skills so that we can use them as a secret weapon in our fight against the Organization, my right-hand man! You are our coveted black blade of disaster, our Samidare Version 2.0D, which we will used to reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction, plunging it into a never ending era of chaos!"

She couldn't help but chuckle. It was so extremely overdone, even for him. But she saw the hidden purpose: It was so insane that anyone associated with this person would probably be labelled as just as crazy by whoever might have been listening in, thereby probably enough to get Daru out of trouble with the potential SERN eavesdroppers.

Daru sweatdropped. "O…kay? So Okabe, I've been wanting to ask this for a while, but how come you've never once been arrested for what you actually say?"

"Muahahaha! Arrest me, the great and mighty HOUOUN KYOUMA? Deep down, the unenlightened know that I am their savior, breaking their chains of slavery to fate! They would never strike at the one hope they secretly hold for salvation!"

Such irony. This was technically also true. But no one would ever take it seriously.

"And now, I'd really like to get this lab meeting started," Okabe emphasized, dropping his act.

The hacker looked between the two of them one more time. "I just… but… ARGH! Is is really that easy for you, Okarin? You just walk up to all these hot girls, ask them to join your group and they all just say 'yes'!? Even the really famous ones?"

Okabe grinned. "Pretty much."

"And you didn't just make Makise-shi a lab mem, Okabe, but also lab member 004!" The fat hacker continued. "So for some reason you gave numbers 004 AND 005 to complete strangers over Faris-chan And Luka-kun, even though both of them are much closer to us?"

"W-well, I can explain…"

"What sort of secret Chuunibyou double life have you been living Okabe!?" the other man shouted. "And how did it get all those hot girls to suddenly accept becoming lab mems!?"

In turn, Okabe gave a prolonged sigh. "You know, Daru, if you actually got off of that PC of yours for once, you'd meet more girls yourself! Go out there and date a few for once. And as for why I made Kurisu lab member 004 despite all of your previous objections…"

He took a few paces into the center of the room, carefully considering his answer as he went.

All three other lab members leaned in to hear what sort of genius explanation could account for all this insanity.

"I… lost count!" he boldly declared, dramatically swirling around his labcoat.

She could swear she heard the crickets chirping somewhere in the back. If that didn't bring the point home for SERN, nothing would.

"Chuunibyou. Fail," was all Daru said.

To be fair, an echo of her once, more sane self couldn't help but agree with him - just this one time, of course.

"Now, my fellow labmembers, follow me to the roof!"

Author's notes:

If you liked or disliked this chapter, could you perhaps drop a note and tell me what worked and what didn't? I'm always eager to hear what the readers think and I try to respond to all comment.

That aside, this was more of a humoristic chapter than anything else. If you're not into that, don't worry - I had planned the second part to be more plot and feels-heavy and I hope that won't take too long to finish. I had a ton of revisions in place here – this conversation could go anywhere in any order. In the end, I found that this worked the best, even if I did have to come up with some flimsy excuse for why Mayuri doesn't immediately notice Okabe's swollen eye :')

When writing this, I found Mayuri very hard to portray. She's probably the farthest removed from how I actually am out of all the other characters in Steins Gate (except for Moeka - thank god). But even knowing that, I ran into some issues here. First, what is Mayuri's actual intelligence level? She's the only one who figures out that the letters on the badges are the initials of the labmembers. So in that instance, she outthought Okabe, Kurisu AND Daru, who are all genius-level in intellect. However, this is the only time we see Mayuri display something even remotely like that, so I'm guessing that is a fluke. Then again, according to Okabe she is also 'the one with the most clear view of the lab, its members and its direction' (or something similar). What does that actually mean? The only instance I can immediately think of is that she's less enthusiastic of starting the time travel experiments, but Kurisu is the one that actually rejects that harder than her. I still have some good ideas of how to incorporate these traits into the story but unfortunately those are all in the next chapter.

Oh, regarding her being 'angry' at the start, we don't often her act like that in Steins Gate, but in SG:0 she is shown to be capable of dropping her normal super-kind/childish routine when the situation calls for it, like when she forces Kagari with Suzuha in the time machine . I guess her slapping Okabe is also an example of the very end of SG, in the true ending. I think that in these circumstances, she'd have been very worried over Okabe. Also, there's a bit of a contradiction in that Mayuri admits to her grandmother's grave that she likes having more labmembers around, but also misses the time it was just her and Okabe. Her initial mixed reaction to Kurisu joining was a reference to that. It also leads to a very obvious topic that will have to be dealt with soon.

Would Mayuri really ever say she was disappointed in Okabe for anything? Maybe, maybe not. But a story without any conflict is a boring story, so I went with it.

Regarding Daru, there are times I wondered if I pushed his perversion too far. Then I remember that this is the guy who kept trying to have baths with his own daughter after she reached puberty. I mean, as a new father that deeply disturbs me in a way, even though it's obviously meant to be comedy… still, COME ON MAN! IT'S YOUR OWN DAUGHTER. ARGH! Poor Suzuha…

Off-topic: Wow, Kingdom Hearts 3 is such a gorgeous game, feels like actually walking around in the (Pixar) animated movies. What? 'If you can play that, you could also have written this,' you say? Well, not if baby is sleeping on my lab. I can use a controller easily enough then, just not a keyboard. And why oh why was I teenage crushing on Rapunzel so hard!? Well… I'm probably not the first person to have a soft spot for a Disney princess... am I…? /Blush.