The Immaculate Conception

"I've tried to warm this up, but it might still feel quite uncomfortable," announced the junior doctor between Raven's legs. She simply nodded, laying her head back against the chair and thinking warm thoughts. She flinched at the sensation of the speculum being inserted, before forcing herself to relax, and focus on something else. The doctor, Millar she had said her name was, was calm, working with an almost clinical detachment, which Raven massively appreciated. She must have been briefed on Raven's powers.

The clinic had come highly recommended from Starfire; Helena Hernandez had previously worked at S.T.A.R Labs, researching the meta-gene before she had left to become an OB/GYN for females with meta-human or extra-terrestrial DNA. To say it was a niche market was an understatement, but Raven was grateful Dr Hernandez had seen the need. Today, the clinic catered to all manner of meta-human or extra-terrestrial non-emergent medical needs, male or female.

"The doctor has been most helpful," Starfire had smiled, suddenly shy as she leaned in to whisper to her teammate. "She has dedicated a team of researchers to determine whether its is possible for Dick and I to procreate."

Raven inhaled sharply, choking on her tea. She spluttered helplessly, struggling to swallow as she waved off Koriandr's concerned noises.

"No, I'm okay. Hold on a minute, for you and Dick to what?" The Tameranian giggled at Raven's outburst, and reached over to her bedside drawer to fish out a handful of pamphlets.

The two were seated on the floor of Starfire and Dick's master bedroom, sharing a pot of chamomile tea. It was almost two weeks after Starfire's return, and the women were having their mandatory monthly sleepover. Usually, they would drink wine, eat junk food and watch bad movies, but Starfire had requested they skip the alcohol tonight. Now Raven knew why.

"You're trying for a baby? Kori, that's…" Raven trailed off.

"Completely insane?"

"I mean, a little?" Raven winced internally at her own words, but the hope rolling off her teammate was pure, and she couldn't help but be swept away by it.

"We know that our jobs would make parenting difficult, and that now is perhaps not the best of times, but we would at least like to know if natural conception is an option. Our physiologies are so different, we do not even know if it is possible for us." Starfire spread out the pamphlets before her, smiling softly. "But we would like to try."

All of a sudden, Raven was overcome with a sense of longing so strong, it was all she could do not to burst into tears. From the corner of her eye she saw a lightbulb flicker suspiciously, and quickly reigned in her powers, repeating her mantra mentally.

Raven had known for some time that children were not an option for her. After all, speaking scientifically, she was a cross-breed: half human, and half demon. And as with most cross-breeds, she was more than likely barren. It had been shortly after her eighteenth birthday when Raven accepted she would never have a period, and that her lack of a menstrual cycle meant she would most likely never be a mother. From what the other female Titans had told her, she was lucky to miss out on the monthly torture.

Besides, she had told herself, her lineage posed too much of a risk. A grandchild of Trigon could potentially fall under his control, and become the portal Raven had failed to be. Even if it were possible, it wasn't something she could risk.

And before, none of this had ever bothered Raven. Up until now, it seemed, when her friend was talking about starting a family, and fertility tests, and ovulation cycles, and although she should be ecstatic for her sister, it was all Raven could do not to burst into tears on the bedroom floor.

"Raven?" At the sound of her name, Raven realised she had been very obviously not listening. She felt the concern emanating from Starfire, and she flashed her a reassuring smile.

"Sorry, I zoned out there. I was planning a strategy to avoid changing any dirty diapers." She joked.

Kori smiled, but Raven could tell she wasn't convinced.

"You'll be an amazing mother, Star. I'm so happy for you."

Now, with her feet in the stirrups, and a junior doctor performing a pap smear on her, Raven could admit that she was envious. Starfire had got the guy, the dream wedding, and now she was starting the perfect family. And here she was, a single twenty-two-year-old virgin.

"Okay, and that's us done." The doctor pushed away from in between Raven's legs and turned to consult her clipboard. Raven was grateful for her tact, and quickly covered herself up. "We should have your results in a week or two, feel free to call us if you have any concerns." The doctor looked up from Ravens chart, checked her watch, and winced.

"I've got another appointment to get to, do you have any questions before I speed off?"

Raven shook her head.

"No, thank you."

The doctor smiled, already heading out the door. "No problem, see you soon. Oh, and good luck!"

With that, she was gone, closing the door behind her. Raven frowned, confused. Good luck? With what, her pap smear results? What an odd thing to say. Putting it down to the doctor being busy thinking about her next patient, Raven conjured herself a portal, and returned to the tower.

The next morning, it became immediately clear that something was wrong. Raven had hardly opened her eyes before her instincts had her hurling herself out of bed, and legging it to the bathroom. She had barely pushed the toilet seat out of the way before she began emptying the contents of her stomach. A while later, Raven shakily rose to her feet, staggering to the sink to rinse her mouth. Gross. Must have been something I ate last night, she thought, climbing into the shower to start her day.

Almost an hour later, and Raven still felt dizzy and queasy. She had stayed under the hot spray of the shower for far longer than usual, in the hopes that it would somehow aid her recovery. It hadn't worked, and the empath still felt awful as she made her way to the kitchen. Ginger tea she knew was good for queasiness, and maybe some food would help her feel less unsteady on her feet. The kitchen was empty, although the half full pot of coffee meant Dick had been up for at least a couple of hours. Some may have thought it odd that Kori and Dick had remained in the tower as a married couple, and would have expected them to get their own place. As it happened, Raven happened to know that Dick had houses, villas, mansions and apartments all over the world, and she herself had half expected them to move into one of them. But they stayed in the tower. This was their home, and weird and dysfunctional as it was, this was their family.

Raven's tea making method was muscle memory at this point, she was pretty sure she could do it backwards, in her sleep, with one arm. Filling the kettle, she let her mind wander. Changeling was currently on a mission somewhere in Europe with Kid Flash and probably Jinx, although she still hadn't officially joined the team. Cyborg was working on a project with Titans East, and Kori was on patrol. Knowing Dick, he was either holed up in his office, pouring over reports, or in the gym, beating the crap out of some poor training bot. Raven had the tower (more or less) to herself.

Trying to focus on a book while she was dizzy felt like it wouldn't be helpful, so after brewing her tea and toasting a bagel, Raven settled to watch some TV. After flicking through channel upon channel of mundane reality tv, telenovelas, and cartoons, she eventually found a nature documentary. It was following the life of a mother bear, and her two new-born cubs.

"Mother bears nurse their young for up to two and a half years, and are one of the fiercest mothers on the planet. She will stop at nothing to protect her cubs." The narrators calm voice was soothing, and Raven, slowly nibbling at her bagel, was beginning to feel better already. She conjured a blanket and settled into the plush sofa cushions, allowing herself to be swept away by the documentary.

That turned out to be a mistake.

At first, the documentary was light, happy. Mama bear was doing a great job raising her cubs. The camera positioned outside their den had captured some beautiful footage of the two babies playing, clambering over their mama and growling playfully at one another. Raven's heart swelled with joy, fighting back tears as she watched on. Catching herself wiping at her face, Raven chastised her hormones. Azar, I must be broodier than I thought, she mused, taking a sip of tea. Maybe I should get a pet or something. A cat, or maybe a lizard.

However, as Raven watched on, the documentary took a sudden turn for the worse. One of the cubs wandered off while the mother was asleep, and was caught in a poachers trap. By the time his mother found him, it was too late.

"The mother doesn't understand. She sees the trap around her cub's leg, and sees that his eyes are gone, plucked by scavenging crows. Her child is dead, but she cannot understand. Nevertheless, she is devastated."

Unaware of the tears pouring down her face, Raven stared, transfixed, as the mother bear made the most heart wrenching sound. It wasn't quite a roar, but the sheer emotion in it bowled the empath over. She's crying, Raven realised, and this time she felt the fresh floods of tears. Confused, she raised her fingers to her wet face.

"Raven?"

Raven started, spilling her undrunk tea into her lap. It was cold, and she realised how long she must have been watching for. A tear-blurred orange figure came to stand in front of her, arms outstretched.

"Are you alright?" Starfire looked down at her, eyes full of concern. "Raven, you're crying!"

"I'm okay. I just," Raven gestured helplessly at the tv. "I was just watching a documentary." Starfire frowned.

"But Raven, you never cry at the television."

Raven sniffed, vanishing the cold tea from her clothes.

"I know. This, it," Sniffling, she cast the blanket off her legs, raising herself to stand. "This just…" Raven trailed off, her dizziness coming back full scale. She swayed on her feet, and Starfire reached out to her. "It got to me…"

The last thing Raven was aware of was Starfire's arms around her, and then…

Black.

It took me a whole year to write this. Whoops.

With love,

Pixie xo