It took former SSA agent Derek Morgan less than 2 weeks to know in his hart that he had made a mistake. The sun, the sand between his toes, his beautiful baby son, were something he had dreamed of his whole life. None of which stopped the sick, slow feeling in his gut every night, sitting with a beer when his phone remained resolutely silent. No one had called, Hotchs name hadn't flashed impatiently on his screen, JJ had left a hurried voicemail about wanting to see Hank but she hadn't answered when he called back, Reid and Prentiss wouldn't call he knew that and from his Baby Girl there was total radio silence. It wasn't personal he knew, they were busy, hell who knows where they were right now, probably half way across the country on a case. They didn't need him and didn't that knowledge burn like acid in his gut.

His head knew he had made the right decision, he had listened alongside Hotch as Haley had bled to death, He had held JJ tight as she saw a unsub put a bullet into her boyfriend...Savannah hadn't signed up for that, neither had Hank who needed his mama, it was the right decision...but by the end of 2 weeks of 9-5, no blood, no unsub, no phone calls.

He was losing his mind.

6 months later

Derek Morgan no longer slept with his phone next to the bed. It was easier that way. He swung his legs out of bed, and the red glow of the clock told him it was 2am, he groaned rubbing his hands over his face. Ironic that after all those years of seeing horror everyday, it was only now that he couldn't sleep. Careful not to wake Savannah, he pulled on his dressing gown and crept downstairs, and clicked the kettle on. Coffee was his saviour these days, another irony given his merciless teasing of Emily over the years.

He was just going to grab the cup when he heard it...his phone was ringing. The second it stopped, it began again. Prickling with unease Derek grabbed for his jacket rummaging through the pockets, the name Hotch, was flashing on the screen, ever impatient, Morgan hit answer.

'Hey man'

'Morgan' the very tone managed to convey disappointment and Derek found himself gripping the phone tighter

'You haven't been answering'

'Sorry boss...'

Hotch cut him off

'Never mind, Penelope's missing'

'What wrong?' Savannah sat up, confused and blinking, she stared into her husbands face. She realised he was scared, really scared the sort of fear she had seen in him once before. When the unsub had known Hanks name.

'What's happened?'

'Hotch called we have a situation, I need to fly back to Quantico, he's sending the jet'

'What kind of situation?' But Derek was already pulling on his jacket.

'I gotta go, I'll call you' he planted a quick kiss on her forehead, and then raced out the door.

Derek knew he was many things but never before a coward. He hadn't spoken to his baby girl in 6 months, she'd tried once or twice to call but he'd never been able to bring himself to answer. She would be so angry, she had every right to be. Surely she had to know why, that she was the one thing that made him weak, how he had ever said goodbye to her he didn't know, he couldn't do it again of that he was certain. Oh god...

Emily was waiting at the airport, she looked him once over before she hugged him fast and tight. Her face was grim and we'll talk later not now was written all over her face. Forestalling his questions the car ride was pretty much silent. Unease burned through his belly. What the hell was going on?