Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Hermione Granger or any of the recognizable characters or objects from other books. The ability to jump into books and pull things out of them was loosely inspired by the Libromancy series or at least the part about the books charring was.

o0o0

Harry Potter blamed puberty and the cute substitute teacher for the fat whale like creature that was chasing him. The well developed substitute had called on Harry and he'd answered a question correctly without really thinking about the consequences, hypnotized by how tightly her sweater was stretched across her chest. That might have passed unnoticed, but she'd called on Dudley next and he hadn't been able to answer a simple question which had of course caused him to blame Harry, for some reason only understood by the fat idiot. Things had spiraled from there into another round of Harry hunting after school, only this time Dudley wasn't giving up.

Harry had already ran seven blocks and Dudley wasn't slowing down, though to be fair Dudley had punched some kid in the gut and stolen his scooter halfway through the chase, which gave him just enough of an edge to keep up. He gulped as he saw several of Dudley's friends/minions trying to ride him down on their bikes. He turned and looked up at the window of the library which was his favorite hiding place. He wasn't going to make it this time. The tension seemed to build until the whole world blinked and he found himself in his normal seat in the library. "What the heck?" He turned his head when he heard a crash and screams of pain from outside.

Harry stood up and peeked out the window where two of Dudley's minions had smashed into each other on their bikes. Another minion was looking around trying to find something. Harry ducked down on the off chance that they looked up and saw him in the window. 'How the hell did that happen? I was about to be clobbered and then I appeared here.'

He took a deep breath then let it out as he tried to calm down. 'I'm so dead when Dudley gets home. Maybe he'll calm down, eventually.' Harry glanced down and blinked when he noticed a glowing book sitting on the end table. "That's neat, first time I've seen a book made out of glow in the dark material." He picked up the book and looked at the title. "Libromancy For Dummies. What the heck is Libromancy?" He opened the book to see if he could figure out what what the book was about then twitched as the words on the page seemed to ignite with purple fire. He stumbled back and dropped the book on the end table. "What the hell was that?"

Now a more intelligent or at least less curious kid would have ran like hell to get an adult, but Harry was a curious kid, so he peeked at the pages of the strange book. He found himself spellbound as the words on the page flew into his eyes and seemed to burn their way into his brain. Had he been able to he would have screamed, he would have thrashed, and he would have cursed as the magical book worked to awaken magical talents never before seen in this world. As it was, he could do none of those things as the book gave up its knowledge before bursting into flames and turning to ash.

Harry lurched as he found himself once again in control of his body. "Brain freeze." He rubbed his temples to try to get his head to stop hurting. He blinked as he realized that the book was magic and that he suddenly knew what Libromancy was or at least the basics. It was the art of connecting to the world of books. "Bloody hell." Harry's eyes widened as he realized that he'd never have to fear the Dursleys again if he could make his new talent work. "That's assuming I'm not lying in a pool of blood in the street or something imagining all this." After a couple of moments of thought he decided that he didn't care, because if it was a dream then it was a damned good one. 'Okay, overuse of a book can char it which means that the book will be locked forever. That means I should practice with something that I don't care if I lose access to.'

He looked around, but no one else seemed to have heard or noticed what had occurred. Harry glanced at the pile of dust on the end table that was evaporating as he watched. "I'm not sure where the book came from but I'm glad I found it." He quietly headed toward the section in the library devoted to cooking and selected one of his favorite books on finger foods, like the ones his aunt would make for her little tea parties but he wasn't allowed to touch. He checked to make sure that no one was looking then opened the book. "Okay, let's see, focus and…" Harry reached out and stuck his hand in the book. His eyes opened wide as he realized that his new magic trick actually worked. "Yes!" Harry immediately ducked and ran for it once he realized that he'd just shouted in the library. Thankfully the librarian was an older lady and contented herself with shouting, "Quiet!"

Harry pulled a delicious looking tuna fish sandwich out of the book. He sniffed the sandwich then cautiously took a bite and realized that it was the best sandwich he'd ever had. 'Okay, this is going to be great.' He quickly finished the sandwich then leaned up against the stack as he tried to figure out what to do next as he really didn't want to go back to the Dursleys. 'Okay, I can probably eat for a couple of days off this book, maybe a week or two before it chars. I need a better solution.'

He rubbed his mouth to get any crumbs off then headed toward the section of the library that held children's tales. He remembered a book from a couple of months ago that should help, if he could actually pull magical items out of the books like he could food then he wouldn't need to char the cooking book or go hungry.

A little searching and he found the book he was looking for, it was a story about a Russian family with a magical tablecloth that created food when you said, 'I'm hungry' and spread it on the ground. It wasn't much as far as magical items go, but it was the only magical item in the story and there wasn't anything else interesting in the story so it would be a good test. He opened the book and flipped to a page with a picture of the magical tablecloth. 'Okay, let's see if this works.' He reached into the book and pulled a copy of the magical tablecloth out of the book. He frowned slightly as the book looked a bit more worn than he remembered. He blinked as the book alternated between looking normal and looking worn, like a flickering image on one of the old school projectors. 'Okay, that's strange.'

Harry put the book back on the shelf then looked at the tablecloth. 'Okay, what else do I need?' He spent the next ten minutes looking through the books in the children's section for interesting things to acquire. He smiled as he saw The Little Boy Thumb. He remembered the story from school mostly because Dudley had thrown a fit about the magic in it. "I could use new shoes." He opened the book and searched through it until he found the page with a picture of the giant's magical boots. "I don't think I can fit the boots through the book." He flipped to the next page where the black boots had shrunk down to fit the little boy. "That's better."

Harry reached into the book and pulled the pair of leather boots out of the book. "Seven league boots, at least I'll be able to outrun Dudley even if he steals another bike." He frowned slightly as the book alternated between showing the boy with boots and showing him without them. 'I should start a list of what books I'm pulling things out of.'

He smiled when he took off his ratty and taped trainers and slipped on the oh so comfortable magical boots. 'I could get used to this. Okay, I need something that will keep me hidden and safe from everyone.' He started reading the summaries on the back of the books and flipping through them as needed.

Harry was startled out of his searching by the librarian shouting that the library would be closing in ten minutes. He glanced down at his pile of books. 'Hercules and the Nemean Lion, Billy's Magical Bag, Sally's Magical Wallet and Aladdin's Ring of Thievery.'

They were all children's books and rather silly, but they had very useful magical items. Mostly he didn't want to risk charring anything important before he mastered his new skill, which meant that he wanted to stay away from any of the more important and famous stories until he had a lot more practice pulling things out of books.

The Hercules book was a modern take on a child version of Hercules, the character reminded Harry a lot of Dudley, always going around and beating people up. He'd managed to kill the Nemean Lion that was guarding a temple so that he could steal ambrosia. Of course in the end the main character had 'reformed' and given up his magical coat of awesome so that some old man named Zeus could bring the lion back to life to continue guarding the temple. While he'd felt sorry for the cat, he couldn't really picture Dudley ever growing out of being a bully or giving up a powerful magical item, so he suspected that the main character becoming a better person was crap as well. Then again, that part didn't really matter as all he needed was the coat.

Harry reached into the book and pulled out a copy of the magical coat. The arms of the leather coat had barely exited the book when the book caught fire. Harry dropped the book and jumped back then blinked when the book fell to the ground no longer on fire. He blinked again and the book was a charred mess on the ground. He focused on the book and watched in fascination as it flipped back and forth from looking like it had been pulled from a fireplace and an old dusty book.

He shook his head as he realized that he was wasting time. He looked over the coat then slipped it on. "That's actually comfortable." He turned his attention to the next book in his stack. 'Billy was an idiot, but his backpack was awesome.' Harry reached into the book and pulled out Billy's dark blue backpack. He wasn't sure why the main character had a magical backpack but the why didn't really matter. He smiled as he realized that the book wasn't completely charred yet. 'I might as well grab some school supplies while I'm at it.' He reached into the book and started grabbing notebooks, scissors, pens and pencils until the book finally gave out. He set the charred book on the floor next to the other charred book.

He reached into the next book and pulled out Sally's black leather wallet. Sure, Sally had eventually figured out that the money came from her saving account after going on a spending spree, but it was still a neat magical wallet that provided semi real 'fake' identification on command.

"Five minutes!" shouted the librarian.

Harry picked up the last book and reached inside of it. He pulled out the Ring of Thievery and slipped it on. He smirked as he looked down at his transparent arm. 'I'm going to have so much fun with this.' He used one of the notebooks to quickly write down a list of the books he'd pulled things out of then put the books back on the shelf.

'Okay, if I'm careful, I should be able to stay here all night.' He carefully put his magic tablecloth and the rest of his supplies in his backpack then slipped it on over his coat. 'Okay, I need pants that fit and magic to fix my eyes, because these glasses are annoying.' He wasn't sure exactly what could fix his eyes, but since there were tablecloths that created food and rings that made you invisible there was probably something that could do it. He avoided a couple of people as they headed for the front desk and he headed up the stairs toward his favorite out of the way spot.

He sat down on the chair in 'his' corner and thought about what else he needed to grab before he left for his adventure. 'I have armor but I don't have a weapon. Even if I had a weapon, I can't see anyone letting me wander around with it. Maybe I can find a magical weapon I can hide.' He closed his eyes and drifted as he waited for the library to close and for the librarian to go home.

0o0o0

Harry almost screamed as he woke up and realized that everything looked strange and shadowy where the light from the window wasn't hitting it until he remembered that his ring of thievery gave him sight in darkness. "Okay, that's neat." He grinned as he carefully and quietly headed down to the main floor to check on the librarian. 'Okay, it looks like I'm in the clear.' He resisted the urge to laugh as he looked around the empty library and realized that there was no reason to ever go back to the Dursleys since he could pull what he needed out of books.

Harry headed for the young adult books and started looking at the various book summaries. It didn't take him all that long to find something interesting. "Indian In The Cupboard." He smiled brightly as he opened the book, reached into it and pulled out a copy of the magic key, watching as the book seemed to age and grow brittle, but didn't quite char. "Let's hope this works." He carefully put the key in his pocket and put the book back on the shelf. He turned and ran toward the magazine rack only to crash into the rack when everything sort of blurred and he found himself moving a lot faster than he was used to.

Harry sighed as he looked at the mess he'd made and at the scattered magazines and then down at his oh so comfortable magical boots. "That's going to take some practice." He glanced down at one of the magazines that had fallen on the ground and saw a female figurine that was wearing a translucent witch's robe. "Okay, not exactly what I was looking for but at least she's a witch, maybe she can teach me magic." He reached into the magazine and pulled the foot tall doll out of the magazine. "Huh, that's larger than I thought."

He closed the magazine so that he could see the cover. "Girls of Fantasy Art Models and Accessories." He opened the magazine and flipped through until he found a potions lab model that reminded him of old monster movies he'd see on television at Mrs. Figgs. He pulled it out of the magazine and set it on the floor next to the action figure. "Let's see, you obviously need a toy broom." He pulled a stylish looking toy broom out of the magazine and set it next to the lab and girl. "Let's see, what else. Oh, a library." He pulled the library/desk out of the magazine even though he had to sort of tilt it a bit to get it completely out of the magazine.

"Let's see, oh scrying." He pulled the authentic crystal ball and stand out of the magazine rather than the plastic version considering he didn't have to pay for it. He flipped the next page and saw a bunch of pictures of swords. He reached in and pulled out a model that had little plastic flames coming off the sword. He put the sword in the action figure's hand. "Okay, that should be good enough for a test."

Sadly, five minutes of looking proved that there wasn't anything he could use to bring the models to life in the backroom. "Crap." He walked back over to the mess that was the magazine rack and stood it back up with a heave. He smiled as he started looking through magazines as he worked on putting them back on the rack. He stopped as he saw a clothing catalogue. "Okay, I'm tired of wearing Dudley's castoffs." He reached in and pulled out a black shirt and a pair of black pants that should fit and didn't clash horribly with his boots. He stuffed them in his backpack then put the magazine on the rack and continued restocking the rack.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"One non magical sword, belt and sheath from a weapon's catalogue, one overly expensive survival watch, some camping gear and a sleeping bag from a sports magazine and I should be set. Now if I can just figure out how to get out of here without being seen." Harry headed to the second floor and opened the window after checking to make sure that no one was around. He climbed out the window then shut it without latching it just in case he needed to get back in.

Harry crawled over to the edge of the roof then climbed down a drain pipe as carefully as he could. He blinked as he looked up at the pipe that he'd climbed down then down at his ring. 'There is no way that should have been that easy.' Harry pulled out his magical wallet and checked to see if it had any cash in it and was surprised that it actually had five twenty pound notes in it. 'Huh, it must have come with some money. That helps.'

Harry started running toward the furniture store. He had to grin as he dodged people on the path and outpaced the cars on the street. 'I could get used to this.' He smirked as he saw a slightly open second story window that the shopkeeper had forgotten about in the hot weather. He smirked slightly as he climbed up the drainpipe and carefully walked across the roof to let himself into the storeroom. There wasn't much to steal, not that he would have, but most of the stuff was boxed up and looked heavy. Thankfully finding an empty cedar chest the right size was rather easy. He carefully opened the chest and transferred his action figure and her stuff to it, He closed the chest, pulled his hopefully magical key out of his pocket and placed it in the lock. He closed his eyes and gave the key a turn.

A soft voice called out, "Hey, who turned off the lights?"

Harry unlocked the chest and opened it with a grin as he saw her. He whispered, "Hi."

The foot tall purple haired witch inside the chest grabbed her broom, tossed her leg over it, causing her skirt to fly up and revealing a distinct lack of undergarments to Harry's gaze for a moment before she flew up so that she could look Harry in the face. "You're a giant."

"I'm Harry, Harry Potter," he said distractedly as she wiggled on her broom and Harry's brain started several lines of thought on what being her broom might feel like.

"I'm Sarah," she introduced herself as she looked up at him.

He whispered, "Pleased to meet you." The robe wasn't as translucent in the dark as it had been in the pictures, but he really liked the way it clung to her figure.

"Why are we whispering?"

"Because we're sneaking… wait you can see me?" Harry asked curiously, feeling a bit guilty at getting caught staring at her bits.

"Ah, well yeah, I can see invisible creatures. I'm a blade master, a nymph, and a witch. If I couldn't see invisible creatures, I wouldn't be very good at my job, species, or religion, now would I?"

"I guess not."

Sarah turned and looked down at the potions lab, library and the crystal ball. "Let's see, I don't need these right now." She gestured and banished her library, lab and crystal ball back to her pocket dimension. "So, you must be my new student."

Harry blinked as the structures vanished. "Wait, new student?"

"Yep," she agreed with a nod and a bounce that was quite distracting.

"I'd like to learn magic," Harry said eagerly,

"Excellent, ah where are we?" She spun around on her broom.

"In a storage room in Surrey, England," Harry replied.

"In that case, we should probably get out of here before you get caught, I can hear someone coming up the stairs."

Harry carefully closed the lid of the chest, pocketed his key then headed back toward the widow. "What about you?"

"I don't suppose seeing tiny flying people is normal around here?"

"Not at all."

"In that case we'd better hurry. My notice-me-not charms don't last all day," Sarah said as she cast a notice-me-not charm on herself so that everyone other than Harry would ignore her.

Harry headed out of the window trying not to make noise, but wanting to get out of the room before whoever was coming up the stairs noticed the fact that he'd opened the window all the way. Thankfully it only took a couple of seconds to get outside and partially close the window before he made his way back to the ground.

Sarah giggled as she flew down with her broom. "Remind me to teach you how to summon a broom later."

Harry glanced around to make sure that no one was all that close before whispering. "Sure."

"So where are we going next?"

"There's a used bookstore that I want to hit."

"Why?" she asked, deciding he must want to be an apprentice thief in addition to an apprentice mage.

"I can pull things out of books."

Sarah stared at Harry. "Holy shit, you won the lottery for magical talents. Let's go."

Harry grinned as he led the way toward the used bookstore.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry blushed as he looked at the adult picture book that Sarah had pointed out after they'd spent half an hour browsing. Thankfully he was invisible, otherwise the slightly overweight nerd that was manning the front desk wouldn't have let him into the adult section of the bookshop. He whispered, "What about it?"

Sarah snickered as she pointed at the magical glasses on the page. "The 'plot' is paper thin but the glasses are an awesome failed experiment. Just read it."

Harry rolled his eyes then quickly read through the naughty book about the adventures of a 'failed' pervert enchanter. None of his magical creations were actually failures but none of them worked quite right and he took it way too personally as far as Harry was concerned. The best example was the magical X-ray glasses that continually fixed a person's sight until they couldn't be used anymore. Losing the ability to see through walls would be annoying, but not having to wear glasses would be great, so he didn't really see how that was a failure. Another example of a 'failed' magical item was a ring that created a magical hand that could only exert five pounds of force on something. Sure, it wasn't perfect or exactly what the enchanter wanted, but it had only taken the man an hour so Harry wasn't sure what he was complaining about. He whispered, "Okay, the glasses look nice and the ring is worth stealing."

Sarah giggled softly. "Take the enchanter's spell book if you can."

Harry reached into the book and pulled out the magical glasses, aging it by at least a decade. He put the glasses on the shelf then pulled out the enchanter's spell book and put it in his bag as the pages became brittle. He reached back into the book and pulled out the ring which caused the book to finally char, making it worthless to him. He was rather pleased he'd gotten so much out of one book, as he was sure if he'd done this earlier he'd have charred it before he'd gotten the ring out. He slipped the ring on and swapped out his glasses then blinked a couple of times as he realized that he could actually see a lot better with his new glasses than his old glasses. He put his old glasses in his backpack then whispered. "Good call."

"Yep." Sarah giggled as she went back to looking through the adult fantasy section, well aware that Harry was peeking at her with his new glasses.

Several minutes later Sarah pointed to a graphic novel with a bikini clad teenager on the front and said, "Oh, you might like the Loliblade."

Harry whispered, "What is it?"

"It's a parody of the Witchblade comic, if you put it on it turns you into a teenage female and gives you magical armor that doesn't actually manage to cover much of anything."

Harry coughed. "Is the change permanent?"

"Yeah, even if you take off the armor."

Harry whispered, "Why the heck would anyone want that?"

"Because it gives you really large claws and a force field while you're wearing it," she told him.

Harry shivered. "I don't think I'd want to use that, I like being male."

"Not on yourself, but it's a great revenge item." She smirked. "Nothing says you can't trick someone else into using it."

"Oh." Harry grinned as he thought about several people that he didn't much care for. "Is there anything else in the book that I should steal?"

"You'd have to look." Sarah smirked as she flew over to the next section that she wanted to scan through.

Harry flipped through the book as quickly as he could. It didn't take him too long to figure out that there wasn't much worth taking other than the Loliblade. He reached into the book and pulled out the silver bracelet with a ruby that was the dormant version of the Loliblade. He carefully put it in his bag then put the charred graphic novel back on the shelf. He whispered, "Anything else?"

Sarah said, "You might try pulling a monster girl training manual out of this monster book."

Harry walked over and opened the book and blushed as he looked at the pictures of naked girls with animal features. "Huh?"

"Just go for the training book, it's close to the start."

Harry reached his hand in to grab the book he could see on the page. He'd almost pulled the manual out when someone walked up behind him and he panicked forgetting that he was invisible and wished to be anywhere but caught.

Sarah blinked as Harry vanished into the book dropping it to the floor. "Well shit." She dove towards the book and found herself following Harry.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Dumbledore turned and stared at the monitoring devices as half of them started making horrible screeching sounds. "What the blazes?" He pulled out his wand and conjured a shield a second before half of the devices exploded. He took a couple of seconds to study the devices, "He's still alive but he doesn't consider Number 4 his home anymore and isn't with his family... great."

Using a spell to restore a small bubbling silver device he attempted to read its last setting. "...and he's either managed to move beyond the moon or has wandered someplace with better wards than Hogwarts. Strange…" He walked over to the fireplace and tossed a pinch of floo powder into it. "Leaky Cauldron." He stepped through the flames and out into the crowded bar then apparated close to Harry's residence.

Dumbledore frowned as he noticed huge rips and tears in the ward structure. "Curious, most curious and most problematic as well." He stalked up to the door of Number 4 no longer really caring who saw him or what the neighbors thought. He rapped on the door until it was opened by Vernon. "Where is he?"

Vernon went red when he saw how the man on his doorstep was dressed. "Who? I'm sure you have the wrong address, now leave."

Dumbledore looked down his nose at Vernon. "When is the last time you saw Harry?"

"There is no one by that name here, I will not be talked to like this in my own home! Now go away." Vernon slammed the door in Dumbledore's face.

Dumbledore sighed as he drew his wand. "Minerva was right." He flicked it at the door, unlocking and opening it. He stepped inside.

Vernon's face went purple with rage as he stared at the wizard that was invading his house. "Now see here, you can't just barge into someone's house!"

"Where is Harry?"

"Hopefully dead! Now leave before I call the police."

Dumbledore flicked his wand and sent Vernon crashing against the wall. A second flick stuck him to the wall. "I suggest you tell me what I want to know Vernon." He hated to use his skills this way, especially against those that couldn't defend themselves, but a child's life was at stake. He glanced into Vernon's mind and found he had no idea where Harry was and truly did not care.

"I'm going to kill you!" the fat man shouted struggling futilely.

Dumbledore flicked his wand and silenced the large idiot then turned as Petunia walked into the living room going pale as she saw her husband pinned to the wall. "Ah, Petunia, have you seen your nephew lately?"

"Dumbledore?! W-what has the boy done now?" she asked nervously.

"Apparently left or been kidnapped as he doesn't consider this his home," Dumbledore said dryly.

"Good!" she snapped.

"You agreed to take him in, you failed in your duties," Dumbledore said, wondering if she was truly so ignorant as to not know the price magic would extract from her family for their betrayal.

"It's not that simple." She glanced at her husband. "I didn't want him to start with!" Petunia snapped.

"Then you should have refused. I could have found a different place for him, surely after a few weeks or months once things calmed down," the old wizard said with a heavy sigh.

"Well he's gone now and good riddance!" Petunia snapped back.

Dumbledore sighed. "I suggest you move far from Britain."

"You're threatening us?" she asked in disbelief.

"I'm not, but as soon as the magical world finds out that you lost their savior, I don't imagine that they will be all that thrilled with you. I'm truly sorry the war cost you your sister, she was an amazing young woman, but your choice on how to respond to that..." he fell silent and merely shook his head. He apparated back to Hogsmeade to send Snape looking for Harry.

0o0o0

Harry blinked as he looked around at the waiting room filled with people ranging from a little younger than him to people in their early teens. "Okay, what's going on?"

Sarah tumbled out of thin air, thankfully she had her broom still so it wasn't that big a deal. "Okay, that was weird."

"Where are we?" Harry asked, his eyes roaming over everything in sight, his eyes drawn to various girls as he tried to figure out where he was.

A woman with green hair and a sexy translucent nurse outfit walked over with a clipboard. "Invisibility spells are prohibited."

Harry took his ring off. "Sorry about that, forgot I was wearing it."

The woman nodded. "No worries, just see that it doesn't happen again. Are you here to register for monster girl training?"

Sarah giggled. "Yep."

The woman nodded and handed her clipboard to Harry. "Just fill everything out as best you can, dear." She turned and headed back to the counter showing off her well toned rear.

Harry blushed as he pulled his attention away from her cute behind. He whispered, "Is that because of my glasses or?" He glanced around at the various people and realized that he could sort of mentally control if the glasses saw through clothing or not.

"Nah, she's wearing a sexy outfit. Almost as good as mine."

"Okay." He glanced down at the form. "How am I supposed to fill this out?"

"I'm not sure, it's not like I've ever filled one of these out before, but it can't be that hard. How did you fall into this book anyways?"

"I was reaching for something then I got distracted," Harry admitted.

Sarah grinned. "It could be worse. At least we didn't get stuck in the Lord of the Rings or something similar," Sarah replied.

"Never heard of it," Harry said, "but then the Dursley's didn't like me reading at all, said it gave me ideas above my station."

"They sound evil," she noted absently dropping a hand to caress the hilt of her sword.

"They weren't nice, that's for sure." He walked over to an empty section of seats and picked the seat furthest away from the next young man who was reading a newspaper. He whispered, "Why aren't we just leaving?"

Sarah said, "Because learning to handle monster girls should be fun. I mean look at the nurse, she's hot."

Harry blushed. "What if I suck?"

"Then the girl giggles and thanks you?" Sarah suggested, confused.

"What?" Harry asked in confusion.

Sarah stared at Harry. "Really? Yeah, okay we're so signing you up for monster girl training classes and teaching you spells to make sure you top out the class."

"Ah... okay, fine whatever." He grabbed the pen attached to the clipboard and started filling out details as best he could, even if most of them caused him to blush.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Snape scowled as Albus finished explaining about Harry vanishing without a trace. "I would have heard something if there was a plan by Death Eaters. I haven't heard anything, though I suspect that as soon as the Ministry hears about his disappearance it will make the front page of the Prophet."

Dumbledore nodded. "Which is why we need to find him first."

"I'll see what I can find. There has to be some trace of what happened or who grabbed him, unless he wandered off and stumbled on an old portkey."

Dumbledore shook his head. "None of the Wards designed to detect him leaving the general area were tripped and I haven't received a notice from the Ministry about any portkeys being used in the area. I'm at a loss as to how someone managed to kidnap him."

"I'll find him." Snape stalked out of Dumbledore's office on his way to his quarters to pick up some enchanted devices that might be useful.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

One of the doors opened and a naked teenage girl with a clipboard called out, "Mister Potter?"

Harry blinked as he realized the naked girl was talking to him and it wasn't just his glasses looking through her clothes, she was genuinely naked. "Ah, that's me."

The girl smiled as she walked over to where Harry was sitting. "Excellent, it says you need basic Sex Education."

"I missed that day in school…" The Dursleys had just refused to sign the paperwork so he'd only gotten the talk second hand from various sources.

"No worries, we'll get you caught up. Please come with me. Your…" she frowned slightly as she wasn't sure what Sarah was exactly as she didn't have wings, "girl can come with."

Harry asked, "Where are we going?"

"One of the training rooms, that way you'll be more comfortable."

"Oh good." Harry sighed in relief as he didn't want to have a bunch of people snickering at him as had happened at school when he'd missed the lecture.

Sarah giggled as she flew after Harry and the girl.

Harry gulped as the naked girl led him to a room with a large four poster bed in it. "Ah… I thought you said this was a training room?"

"It is," she replied easily.

"Why are there chains connected to the bed posts?" he asked nervously.

"So that you can chain up your monster girls if you need to, or they can chain you up, if you feel like playing that role, but that's rather advanced for a 101 class and we won't be covering that in any detail unless you impress me," she explained with a grin.

"Why would I need to use chains with some of the girls?" he asked blushing.

"Some of them are super strong and some of them instinctively claw and or bite their partners while they're having sex."

"Ah…"

The girl giggled as she walked over and jumped backwards onto the bed and spread her legs playfully once she landed. "Normally I'd jump right to the fucking or at least the techniques used during such, but judging by your blush and the forms you filled out we should start with a basic anatomy lesson."

Harry felt his cheeks furiously burning as he stared at the girl. "Ah… that might be helpful."

The girl smiled as she started explaining the basics about the female body before moving on to a practical demonstration. "If you'd care to remove your clothes," she said.

Harry was about as red as the pillows, but quickly shed his clothes and Sarah found she didn't need to cast any spells to allow Harry to respond properly after all.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry stumbled slightly as he appeared in the real world with an equally tired Sarah on his shoulder. He was just glad that they'd healed him before they handed him three capture balls and told him that he qualified as a monster girl trainer. He doubted that he'd ever find a use for his newly acquired whip skill, but the rest of the lessons were definitely helpful, even if they had started off really embarrassing.

He grabbed the book he'd just stepped out of and the rest of the parody series. 'No way am I not grabbing the book where I got my first kiss, my first shag… well a lot of firsts.' He was still a bit shocked about some of the things he'd had to do in training, but the upside to having your first be in a book meant that they couldn't really tell tales about how many times you had to do things over to get it right. He blinked as he realized that the shop was closed. "Oops."

Sarah looked around. "We might have been in there a bit too long."

"At least we know that time doesn't stop while we're in books. I guess that means we should explore a bit before we make our escape. We can leave money for the books on the counter."

Sarah said, "That works for me."

Harry picked up rather a naughty adult picture book version of Alice in Wonderland and flipped through it looking at the pictures of Alice getting into all sorts of trouble and all sorts of compromising positions. "I don't remember this version from school. Various interesting cookies at the Hatter's party though."

"You might as well grab a copy," Sarah replied.

He set the book on his pile then went back to looking through the stack. He'd just grabbed a picture book titled Aurora Knight of the Round Table that looked particularly interesting when Sarah yawned loudly. He glanced over at Sarah, "Tired?"

"Just a bit," Sarah replied.

"We should probably grab some sleep in a book."

Sarah gestured at the shelves. "Which book?"

"I'm sure we can find something with a hotel in one of the books." Harry replied as he started looking through the various books to see if any had hotels that he wouldn't mind staying at.

0o0o0o0o0

Harry watched as Sarah gestured and a virtual tide of bugs fled out of their hotel room. "That's an awesome spell. I guess that's why the 'beds' are hammocks."

"Thanks. It's not a palace but it has a certain amount of charm," she admitted.

"It beats my cupboard or sleeping on the ground." Harry glanced out the window at the group of naked elf girls playing volleyball on the beach. "My Aunt and Uncle would blow their tops if they knew I was enjoying myself." He grinned even wider at the thought.

"Eh, let them. I mean seriously, life is supposed to be fun. If they can't be happy that you're happy then they aren't worth worrying about," she told him firmly.

Harry nodded as he turned away from the window. "Now what?"

Sarah gestured toward the hammock. "Now we get some sleep or at least try."

Harry frowned slightly as he looked at the Hammock. "How exactly do you get into one of these?"

"Carefully or in my case I just fly. You might want to take your sword off though." She snickered as she watched Harry attempts to get into the hammock after setting his sword on the table.

Harry was just glad that he managed to get into the hammock after a couple of tries despite Sarah's snickering. "This is actually rather comfortable."

Sarah snickered as she flew over, landed on his chest and dismissed her broom. "Good night Harry."

He smiled as Sarah snuggled against him. "Night."

Thankfully it only took Harry a couple of tries to get into the hammock and after a couple of minutes of shifting around he drifted off to sleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0 99

Harry woke up feeling rested and ready to take on the world. He whispered, "Are you awake?"

Sarah giggled as she sat up. "Yep."

Harry yawned. "I'm awake, should we see if we can find anything interesting to jump into for a bit of adventure?"

Sarah giggled as she stood up and summoned her broom. "That sounds good to me." She flew over to the table so that Harry could crawl, or rather fall, out of the hammock.

Harry grumbled as he ended up on the floor. "That could have gone better."

Sarah snickered. "You'll get used to it."

Harry stood up, glared at the hammock then walked over and picked up his sword. "Any suggestions for where we go next?"

"I saw a naughty Adventures of Zelda book in the shop that might be fun to check out."

"Zelda? That's Link's princess, right? A couple of people at school mentioned it but Vernon wouldn't get it for Dudley, probably because it has magic in it."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Idiots and yes that's the one. There are some interesting magical items in that world that we can probably grab if we're careful."

"Like what?"

"A magical sword that shoots energy, heart pieces that make you tougher, a magic wand that you can use to shoot energy, potions that heal you and a power bracelet that makes you strong enough to move boulders."

"That actually sounds rather interesting and useful," Harry replied as he put his sword back in its sheath.

"Yep and the best part is we can probably grab a game guide to use as a map." Sarah smirked at Harry's look of surprise.

"That's cheating…" Harry trailed off as he realized that grabbing a game guide was probably a really good idea.

"If you're not cheating, you're just not trying hard enough," Sarah said cheerfully but firmly.

"I'm not sure that's how things are supposed to work, but we'll try it your way." Harry made sure that his ring was on his finger then he checked to make sure they hadn't left anything. "Okay, ready to head back?"

Sarah recast her notice me not charm. "Yep."

Harry focused and returned them to the bookstore. He glanced around and realized that it was still dark in the store. "Okay, what the heck?" He glanced at his watch. "We only spent like twenty minutes in there."

Sarah frowned. "Maybe sleeping is like a video game, it's all done instantly?"

"Maybe, because time passed in the other book normally enough while we were awake. Where was that naughty Zelda book?"

Sarah flew over and pointed to the book. "Right here."

Harry walked over and picked up the book. "Okay, let's grab a game manual and get started killing monsters." He walked over to the kidfriendly part of the store and searched around until he found a guide for Link that explained where to find everything and tricks for farming gems. "Okay, let's go have some fun."

Sarah giggled. "Yep!"

Harry set the naughty version of the book on the table then focused and brought himself and Sarah into the book. He looked around the dirt covered area they found themselves in that was surrounded by cliffs. "Okay, do we need to enter the cave or do we take one of the three paths?"

Sarah flew over to hover by Harry. "You're the one with the game guide."

Harry opened up the game guide and flipped through it until he found the first area. It wasn't a perfect match but it looked close enough if you squinted and imagined looking at the area from a top down view. "The cave should contain a wizard that gives us a wooden sword. Not sure a wooden sword is all that good though."

Sarah grinned. "Free is free."

Harry headed into the cave cautiously just in case there was a monster in the cave. There wasn't a monster but there also wasn't a wizard like he'd been half expecting. "Oh."

A naked elf girl looked up from the marshmallows she was roasting over an obviously magical fire. "Ah, you've come for training then? Come in, come in."

"Training?" Harry asked hesitantly, as he walked into the cave with Sarah floating after him.

"Of course, I teach young heroes how to create wooden swords out of tree limbs with a simple spell." The elf girl pulled her marshmallow off the fire and took a bite.

That wasn't what Harry was expecting but learning magic sounded fun. "What do I have to do?"

The girl finished her marshmallow. "Well, to start with, you can kiss me."

Harry looked at the cute girl elf that was slightly taller than he was. She was rather cute so kissing her wasn't actually a problem. He walked over and kissed her on the lips tasting the marshmallow on her lips. "Like that?"

The girl smiled at Harry. "Well, I was thinking a bit lower if you know what I mean and at least a couple of times."

"Right." Harry knelt down and went to work making the elf girl happy, glad that his Sex Ed training included elf-specific techniques.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry grumbled slightly as he dodged yet another tentacle then slashed at the strange and very creepy monster until it died and transformed into a gem. "I'm starting to dislike this place."

Sarah snickered as she flew a little closer now that Harry wasn't fighting the strange tentacle monsters. "These things aren't half as bad as the cute but deadly dryders."

Harry made a face. "Girls should have legs not spider parts…"

"Just because they have six legs doesn't mean they don't have legs."

"You know what I mean! Sure they're sort of cute in the book, but not so much when you're trying not to die!"

Sarah laughed. "At least they dropped some bombs that we can use to get another crystal heart which we'll need so we can get the White Sword before we go into the dungeon."

Harry sighed as he walked over and picked up the gem. "That should make sixty, which is how much the elf witch wanted in order to teach the blue flames spell. Are you sure that you can't just teach me the spell?"

"I don't know that particular spell and the trees seem oddly resistant to the spells I do know. At least you have your glasses so you can tell where you're supposed to burn and place bombs."

Harry shook his head. "Can you imagine what this stupid world would be like without the glasses? We'd be randomly tossing bombs to see if they blew things up and burning down every bush in a forest on the off chance that they led somewhere."

Sarah laughed. "Either that or we'd get bored and leave."

"Probably," he agreed. "We still have a few hours before the shop opens, so we might as well see how far we can get before we skip town." Harry replied as he headed down the path at a fast walk. "Can you fly up and make sure that I'm going to correct direction?"

Sarah snickered as she flew up to scout the surrounding area. "Yep!"

Harry glanced down at his watch. "Okay, another four hours and the bookshop should be open, which means that we can just walk out the front door."

"In that case, let's pick up the pace." Sarah flew back down. "Your path is clear for the next couple of areas, but I suspect they'll fill back in soon enough."

Harry started running, making sure to hold his sword off to the side so that if he tripped he wouldn't impale himself. That had been a painful lesson. He wasn't sure where all the monsters came from, but at least they dropped gems, hearts, or released captured fairies, never mind where some of the creatures had been holding the fairies. Still, despite his complaints, running around stabbing monsters was fun and gave him a lot of experience swinging a sword. Between that and Sarah's helpful pointers, he was doing okay, not perfect but okay. He sighed in relief when he reached the Witch's Cave without being jumped.

The elven witch looked up as Harry walked in. "I see you've returned. Do you have the 60 Rupees?"

Harry walked over and handed the witch sixty gems. "Here."

"And…" she drawled out.

Harry rolled his eyes and knelt down in front of her while trying not to smirk.

Ten minutes later...

The witch smiled as she tapped Harry on the head and gave him the knowledge of how to cast the blue flames spell. "There you go."

Sarah asked, "Can you teach me?"

"Sixty Rupees." The witch smirked at Sarah.

"Rats." Sarah pouted, but figured she'd just have to learn the new spell from Harry at some point.

Harry turned away from the witch and concentrated on the mental framework that sprung to mind and cast the blue flames spell at the wall. He had to work pretty hard to suppress the urge to giggle as he watched the flames crawl up the stone wall. "Thank you for teaching me."

"You're welcome, it was my pleasure," she said with a wink. The witch waved as Harry and Sarah left.

Harry asked as he stepped out of the cave and looked around. "Where to next?"

"I want to bomb the boulder so we can grab the heart and then grab the sword from the cave by the waterfall. That should eat up the rest of our time tonight." Sarah figured that would give Harry a decent head start on surviving his adventures, and adventures he would definitely have because he practically had the words 'Boy Hero' floating over his head as far as she could tell.

Harry asked, "What about the power bracelet?"

"It's way up north, you have to touch a statue of a knight, he comes alive and tries to kill you. Not sure it's worth it truthfully."

Harry nodded. "Right, but you don't actually have to defeat him, right? You fly in, touch him and then snag the bracelet and flee, or rather fly, like the wind."

"Oh… okay I see what you mean, if you want to make your way up to the sword, I'll fly up north and grab the bracelet and meet back at the starting area or where the white sword is."

Harry pulled the guide/map out of his backpack and showed Sarah. "Here, I wouldn't want you to get lost."

Sarah smirked as she snapped her fingers and conjured a pixie sized copy of the map. "Okay, don't forget rule number one, no dying."

Harry said, "Same to you."

Sarah flew off toward the north.

Harry looked over the map as he plotted out where he needed to go next. 'I've got my thief ring that lets me climb most anywhere, but having the ladder spell would help as well. It should also let me pick locks though the locks in the dungeons might be magical. Wait, a damn second, I should just stealth around all of these damned monsters. If she asks, I'll just say I was working on my stealth skills, yeah that works.' He smirked as he headed on his way.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry wrote the title of the Zelda hentai manga, a handful of adult pokemon books, and the adult Alice in Wonderland book he was taking, on a note along with 'keep the change' then stuck a couple of twenty pound notes with it and set it on the counter when the old man wasn't paying attention.

Sarah giggled. "You know you could just walked out of here with the books, right?"

Harry shook his head and whispered, "That wouldn't be nice."

Sarah shook her head as she followed Harry out of the store. 'Worst thief ever.'

Harry relaxed once he got outside. "We should probably pick a direction and find a library."

"What's wrong with the library here?" she asked. "There's still enough free floating mana to use for at least another week. Shame they don't build bookshops on ley lines, but that's mundays for you."

"Free floating magic?" Harry shook his head as he realized he could ask later. "I want to be out of here before anyone notices that I'm gone and I'd rather not come back if I can help it. The farther I am from the Dursleys' the less chance I have of having to see them ever again."

Sarah nodded and changed the subject, "I got the strength bracelet… or I think we did since you're wearing it. Same thing with the White Sword."

Harry looked down at the bracelet on his wrist and the sword on his hip. "They didn't fall apart so I'm going to assume they work. We can test them once we get out of town."

Sarah smiled as they headed out of town.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Dumbledore frowned as he read the note the goblins had sent. "Mr. Potter withdrew one hundred muggle pounds at the Surrey public library at…" He trailed off as he tried to figure out how Harry had made a withdrawal from a library of all places.

"We have tracked the anomaly to a family artifact, so no additional action is needed." He shook his head. "No additional action is needed? Family artifact? He shouldn't even know that much about magic, let alone have access to his vault yet. Well at least this will make it easier to track him down." He sighed as he stood up and went to find Severus.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hermione Granger blinked as she glanced toward the adult aisle in her favorite bookstore as she walked past and saw a boy dressed up as Link with a foot tall doll that he'd somehow gotten to float around him without any obvious strings or wires.

"You shouldn't be in that aisle." Normally it was older boys sneaking over to look at the naked pictures, but that didn't mean he was supposed to be over there. She was halfway over to him when the floating girl turned and waved at her. She stopped and stared as she realized that the girl's expression had changed, which shouldn't be possible.

"What the…" she trailed off as the boy and the 'pixie' vanished into thin air or possibly into the book that tumbled off the shelf. "Heck?"

'Am I seeing things?' She walked over and picked up the book that fell to the ground and looked at it. 'So You Want to Be a Spy, Bond Jr. Goes To Training Camp.' She blushed slightly as she flipped through the book looking at the pictures of naked girls. "I must be imagining things."

Mrs. Granger raised an eyebrow as she noticed her daughter standing in the adult section looking at a book. She walked over as quietly as she could so see what her daughter was reading. "Hah, Bond. I had a crush on him when I was your age and Sean Connery played the roll. Well, like mother like daughter I suppose."

Hermione jumped and nearly shrieked as her mother scared the stuffings out of her. "Mum."

Mrs. Granger raised an eyebrow, "You're in the adult section reading a naked picture book and you're trying to Mum, me?"

"Ah…" Hermione blushed furiously. "It's not what it looks like."

"Oh? What is it supposed to look like then?" She was curious how her daughter would try to talk her way out of being caught red handed.

Hermione opened her mouth to explain about seeing the vanishing boy and flying little person and realized that it sounded more than a little crazy. "There was a boy and he dropped the book, I was going to put it back on the shelf…" she trailed off as she ran out of things to say without lying.

"And you noticed the pictures?" Mrs Granger's eyes danced with amusement as she teased her daughter. "Not that surprising, considering how much you stare at the girls when we vacation in France."

"I was looking at everyone not…" Hermione trailed off as she realized her mother was snickering at her.

"That's not helping your case." Mrs. Granger smirked.

"Not like that. Growth rates and… okay I'll shut up now. You're obviously having fun at my expense," Hermione replied.

"That's a parent's job. Don't worry, I have the full series at home, you're free to read them as long as you don't get the pages stuck together." Mrs. Granger turned and walked off trying hard not to smirk at the horrified expression on her daughter's face. 'Ah, to be young again.'

Hermione put the book back on the shelf and followed her mother hoping that her face didn't catch fire or anything.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry blinked as he looked around as he found himself in an office with several teenage boys and girls. "What's going on?"

A rather large tall scary looking man said, "This is weapons training, 101. Any messing around and I will shoot you, do you understand?!"

Most of the girls and boys shouted, "Yes, Sir!"

"I can't hear you!"

The volume increased as everyone including Harry and Sarah shouted, "Yes, Sir!"

"That's better. Now, I don't care who you are, I don't care who your fathers are, I don't care who your mothers are, and I certainly don't care about the rest of your family, well maybe your sisters if they are single. I certainly don't give a damn what your names are. Everyone will take a nametag with a number on it." He gestured toward the basket on the desk. "For the duration of training you will be that number. If there are any questions feel free to ask them, however if anyone asks a stupid question I will shoot them. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Excellent, I might actually get through a training session without shooting anyone. It's bound to happen eventually. Take a name tag people!"

Harry moved over with the rest of the students and grabbed a name tag. '013, could be worse I guess.' He moved back as the rest of the people got their numbers.

The instructor waited until everyone had their name tags then said, "We're going to the firing range next, no one will shoot at a target not on their line, if anyone points a gun at a fellow student or myself, I will use them for target practice. I will turn a red light on when it's time to start and off when it's time to stop. Ear protection will be worn at all times while the red light in on. Any questions?" His hand caressed the butt of his gun.

"No, Sir!"

"Excellent." He pointed toward the door. "Through the door and to your left."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Mrs. Granger raised an eyebrow at Hermione's stack of books on the paranormal. "Not to complain but I have several of these books or rather your father does. He went through a bit of a paranormal craze a couple of years ago, not that he found what he was looking for. Is there some reason for your interest in unexplained things?"

Hermione said, "I'm trying to figure out…"

"Why the lights sometimes flicker when you're upset?"

"Something like that." Hermione sighed. "I don't remember Daddy having any of these."

"That's because most of them are packed away in the attic." Mrs. Granger smiled as she got rid of ⅔ of her daughter's stack. Sure, it meant organizing the attic but that would give her time to have the Talk with her daughter about boys, girls, and sex. It wasn't like she was going to leave it to the idiots at her daughter's school or her husband. The schools basically drew pictures and said, don't do it, her husband would likely try to traumatize her and or avoid it until after she'd had her first child. She smirked as she remembered that she had several rather graphic anatomy books up in the attic that would be perfect for embarrassing her daughter.

"He could have had another bookshelf installed," Hermione complained.

Mrs. Granger laughed. "If we put in more bookshelves, the house will look more like a library than a home."

Hermione said, "It's not that bad."

"The couch has a bookshelf under it. Your room is filled with bookshelves and the hallway is one solid bookshelf. To say nothing about the bookshelves against the walls in various rooms. It's bad enough that the kitchen has a shelf that is overflowing with your Dad's cookbooks."

Hermione asked, "Can I get the others?"

"Of course though I think you could look up most of these at the London library Monday while I'm at my conference."

"That's two whole days I could be reading," Hermione replied.

"One and a half, I'm planning on making you read several anatomy books as homework after I give you the official 'Talk'."

"You don't need to do that…" Hermione blushed.

"You'd rather your father give you the Talk?" She smirked as Hermione shook her head.

"No."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll survive." Mrs. Granger set the books they weren't going to buy off to the side of the table for reshelving. "Don't worry, I have a conference the day after tomorrow which means you can spend all day in the London library looking up anything you can't find here."

"Good." Hermione wanted to know why strange things seemed to happen around her when she got upset and possibly figure out what she'd seen in the store.