A/N: I've never written anything for SVU before...then Rafael Barba left and I got snowed in at home alone for an entire week and after watching one too many fan videos... You get the picture. I offered this prompt to another FF writer, but when I didn't hear back it began to itch at me. If you were an EO shipper, this may not be to your taste.
These are their stories. Dun Dun.
Olivia was throwing her head back, a full-throated laugh driving pleasure from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her cell phone vibrated across the bar and she ignored it, taking another sip of Cabernet, allowing the stress of the week to dissolve.
They were in Forlini's, she and ADA Rafael Barba, celebrating the successful conclusion of another difficult case. When he asked her if she fancied grabbing a drink, this time, she said yes.
"You did not!" she said, watching Barba nod so casually, his expression understated and all the funnier for it.
"I think Carisi wants me to adopt him," he said with some dramatic flair.
Her cheeks ached from laughing while he continued to deadpan, that attractive glint of intelligent humor dancing in his eyes.
When her phone buzzed for a second time, she picked it up. "Sorry. Might be Lucy."
Barba waved his hand. "Go ahead. Take it." He lifted his scotch and took a sip, relishing the opportunity to observe her from behind the safety of a crystal tumbler.
Benson stared at the text on her screen, the words not making any sense. Rafael leaned closer, touching her arm. "Liv? Is it Noah? Everything okay?"
The text was from Fin. She looked up at him, but before she could open her mouth to explain the door to the bar opened and a piece of her past blew in.
"Olivia?" Barba was looking at her with concern. "You're scaring me now."
When he saw that her gaze was fixed somewhere behind his head, he turned to look in that direction. A man swaggered over, casually dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. He was tall, well-built, hair close-cropped and silvering at the temples. He had a neat goatee and a neck as thick as Rafael's thigh.
Barba whipped his head back around to look at her. "Liv? Do you know––"
"Aren't you going to introduce me?" the guy said, standing there like he owned the joint.
Barba watched Olivia's throat bob. Her eyes never left the stranger's face when she said, "Rafael Barba, this is Elliot Stabler. My old partner."
Rafael withdrew his hand from her arm. He let it drop into his lap. A light inside him went out. This was Tucker all over again.
"Hey, Liv," Stabler said casually. He had a confident, almost smirking smile on his face. The pair held eye contact like there was no one else in the room.
Barba hastily dabbed his mouth with a napkin and signaled the barman to bring the check. Then he thought better of it. He was in such a hurry to get out of there he withdrew a couple of twenties from his wallet and tossed them onto the bar.
Stabler finally seemed to find some manners. "Fin said you were hanging out with some ADA these days. I thought he was just yanking my chain." He thrust out his hand. "Elliot. Please to meet you, Barba."
Liv watched Rafael get down off his stool and shake Elliot's hand. Then he shrugged into his coat.
"You're leaving?" she said, staggered.
Barba made eye contact, but his lips were pressed into a tight line. He seemed restless, even agitated. He glanced over her shoulder at Stabler. "Good to meet you," he said, nodding once before turning to leave.
Olivia followed him to the door. "Rafa?" Her voice was hoarse with shock.
"I'll see you on Monday. Have fun catching up." He glanced back at the bar. Stabler had already taken his spot. He was ordering another round of drinks from Anthony as if this was his haunt. This guy would jump in my grave just as quick, Barba thought to himself.
"Raf, please stay?" Olivia tried one more time, her hand on his arm.
He looked her right in the eye. "Be safe, Olivia." And then he left.
When she turned around, Elliot was watching her. He took a swig from a bottle of beer and gestured for her to take a seat. She moved on autopilot, her mind still stuck on Rafael and how suddenly their fun, light-hearted evening had been derailed.
"What are you doing here?" were the first words out of her mouth.
"What kind of welcome is that?" Stabler said, still loose and relaxed.
He was admiring her, appraising her for changes if the lingering look he was giving her was anything to go by.
"The kind you get when you leave without saying goodbye." There were tears in her eyes, just remembering. This made her angry at herself. Her voice was barely a whisper when she said, "Twelve years, El, and I wasn't even worth a goodbye?"
He took another sip of beer and then he put the bottle down. Anthony cleared Barba's scotch glass away, and Olivia watched it go with a sudden ache of unbearable sadness.
"Look. I'm sorry about how things ended."
Olivia looked right at him. A pulse of fury rushed to her head. She had changed in the time they had been apart, grown, become a mother, suffered trauma that would have broken most people. He didn't know her anymore. "They didn't end," she said coldly. "You walked away, left Cragen to do your dirty work. And for seven years, you've been a ghost. So, what are you doing here now?"
He was standing by the window in his office, staring into space. He had his jacket off, sleeves rolled up, those crazy red suspenders on, one hand casually stuffed into his pocket. She could watch him like that all day.
Olivia knocked on the doorframe. She tilted her head to one side, eyes soft as she smiled at him. "Carmen said it was okay to come on in."
Barba looked in her general direction, his gaze disconnected as if still deep in thought. "What can I do for you, Detective?"
Olivia balled her hands into fists deep inside the pockets of her coat and she marched inside, closing the door behind her. "Well, you can cut the detective crap for starters." Her voice was vibrating with anger.
Barba set his jaw, said nothing. Calmly, he took a seat behind his desk, picked up a pen and began reading paperwork or at least pretending to.
Olivia paused for a second, unable to believe he was being so stubborn. She walked over to the desk, picked up the file and she threw it across the room.
He looked up at her. "Finally got your attention? Good."
"Look, Benson…"
"Don't call me that," she snapped. "What happened the other night? And why have you been ignoring my calls all weekend?"
She sounded genuinely hurt and he felt bad for a second. But he felt worse for himself, and he knew he couldn't do this again.
"I'm putting in for a transfer. You'll hear about it soon enough. So I wanted to tell you myself."
She felt as if he had struck her. A well of cold fear consumed her from the ground up. It felt like drowning. "What? Where?"
"Anywhere but here," he said, not looking at her. "So if you've come to disclose this time," he said pointedly, finally meeting her eyes. "Don't. No need."
He was talking about the whole mess with Tucker. It took them months to recover from that.
The shock was bone-deep, overwhelming. She thought that they were inching towards something; in many ways, she thought they were already there. The dinners, the drinks, in cozy bars, in this very office, his frequent visits to her home. When she allowed herself to think of him with Noah, tears began to gather.
"Rafael, please? Talk to me."
Her voice was beseeching. His was clipped. "There will always be someone else, some cop from your past or your present. I can't stay around and watch anymore."
"So this is about the other night?" she said, almost gloating now as she nodded her head having forced him to confess.
He stood up, walked around the desk to pick up the file she had tossed to the floor. He looked at his watch. "I have to be in court in twenty minutes."
Olivia glared at him, swaying in the middle of the room. "We are not done talking," she said with controlled fury, holding so much emotion inside.
Back at the squad room, she went straight to her office and closed the door. She sat at her desk and stared into space, just as she had found Barba staring out of his office window. What a pair.
After ten minutes, there was a soft knock at the door and it eased open a crack. "Go away!" Olivia bellowed sullenly.
Amanda Rollins popped her head inside before she came all the way in. "Liv?" She took a seat in front of the desk. "Liv, talk to me. What's goin' on? Fin said your old partner showed up. That must have been rough."
"Fin had no right," Olivia snapped.
Amanda was a little taken aback. "Okay. But you know he's just lookin' out for you. We all are."
"Barba's leaving," she blurted, unable to keep the horror of it to herself anymore.
Amanda pitched forward in shock. "What?"
"I just came from his office. He said he put in for a transfer." She had to fight with all her might to stop her chin from trembling. Despite her efforts, a tear slipped out and she swiped it away.
"Why would he do that?" Amanda said plaintively. "You two are a team. The best. I actually thought––"
Olivia dragged her gaze up out of the depths of her misery, curious to find out what Amanda had to say. But for once the pretty Georgian seemed to be keeping her own counsel.
"Just spit it out," Olivia said, exhaustion and grief bleeding into her voice. "Not like there are any secrets around here anyway."
"Well, I just thought you and Barba…" She shrugged with one shoulder and made an awkward face.
"Me and Barba what?"
"Liv, can I be honest?"
"As opposed to all the other times?"
Amanda picked up a paperweight and began playing with it. "What I mean is…" She paused. "You're clearly in love with the guy. And I mean the way he looks at you." Amanda laughed and then she caught herself, embarrassed by the way her boss was staring at her, like all of this was news.
"We were at Forlini's Friday night having such a great time, and then Elliot showed up. Rafa couldn't get out of there fast enough."
"Did you ask him to stay?"
"I tried."
"Maybe he thought you and Elliot had a lot to talk about."
Olivia made a scoffing sound. "I think Elliot thought we did, too." She pursed her lips. "You know, not that long ago I would have been ecstatic if he'd come looking for me. Ecstatic."
"And now?" Amanda said.
"He told me he'd made the worst mistake of his life, leaving the way he did. And all I could think was you're sitting in Rafa's seat." She looked up at Amanda, the young woman's face slowly coming into focus like her own thoughts. "I can't believe I just said that."
"You're a different person now, Liv. Time moves on, people change."
Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I guess I am." She felt a little lighter.
"So what are you going to do about it?" Amanda pressed.
Olivia looked at her.
"Don't you think it's time you told him? You know how he gets if he files the wrong paperwork." She gave her a knowing look. "Maybe you're not too late."
Carmen was gone from her desk when Olivia showed up at One Hogan Place later that afternoon. Barba's door was lying open, and she could see that his office was empty inside. Given the way Elliot left all those years ago, she had a horrible feeling she'd arrived too late. But as she turned to head back down the hallway towards the elevator, there he was, coming towards her. His head was down and his usual swagger was gone, but he was still here and that was all that mattered.
"Hey," she said lightly, alerting him to her presence. "I was looking for you." She thumbed over her shoulder. "Carmen's not at her desk."
"I gave her the afternoon off."
"Well, that was generous."
"Actually, I was just heading out myself. Was there something you needed?"
Oh, yes, there was definitely something she needed.
Olivia took a deep breath to steady herself. She reached out and snagged the sleeve of his coat. He looked down at her hand as if he couldn't understand what it was doing there. "Rafa, I really think we should talk. Don't you?"
He bristled, back to being too restless to stay in one spot. He paced a little, dislodging her hand. Olivia's eyebrows shot up. "What good would talking do?" he said grimly.
"Well, it might save us both from you making the most stubborn, stupid, reckless mistake you've ever made."
Now it was Barba's turn to look startled. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me, counselor."
He sighed like he'd discovered some solace in defeat and was now okay with it. This was not the Rafael Barba Olivia knew at all. "Liv, I really value what we have. How well we work together. Your passion, your heart, your dogged determination…they have carried me through so many times when I was ready to give up. You've made me better at my job and I'll always be grateful for that."
"You do the same for me."
He scrubbed a hand over his face. "But Friday night, when your partner showed up…"
"Ex-partner," Olivia corrected.
Barba brushed the distinction aside with a dismissive gesture. "I can't be a spectator to your life anymore. I don't want to be on the sidelines cheering you on. I wish you well, don't get me wrong, of course, I do. No one deserves happiness and love in their life more than you do, Olivia."
There were tears in her eyes when she said, "You know, if you had stuck around the other night for the time it took me to finish my drink, I'd have been walking out of Forlini's with you." His eyes snapped to her face like magnets. "As it was, I left the bar alone. I called you from the cab on my way home to see if you were still up, but…" She shrugged.
Barba's jaw clenched and unclenched. He looked antsy as hell. "What about what's his name?"
Olivia sniffed and wiped away a tear. "Who?" she said with a watery smile.
They stood staring at one another. When she reached for his sleeve this time, he caught her hand. She tugged on it, bringing him closer. "We've both been really stupid and incredibly slow, and I think it's time we stopped ignoring the elephant in the room."
"You mean John Buchanan?" Barba fired back. His eyes were dancing.
Olivia laughed out loud and smacked him in the chest. He trapped her hand over his heart with both hands and held it there. "You make me laugh like no one ever has, Raf. You've held me up these last five years when I thought that I was drowning. Because of you, doing this difficult, painful, frustrating job is just that little bit easier. And there isn't a day I don't come in to work looking forward to seeing you, hoping that I'll need another warrant, that there will be a witness for us to prep together, or that you'll call by my office just to tell me no so that I can change your mind half an hour later."
This got a laugh from Barba, but there were tears in his eyes, too.
"I don't know how but you became my world, Rafael Barba. You and Noah," she said. "And I don't want to lose you. So please, can we put the damn transfer request through the shredder and go get some dinner?"
He tipped his head to one side, allowing himself to openly study her beautiful face. "When you put it like that, Detective." He smiled and offered her his arm.
When he turned them towards the elevator, Oliva resisted. "What about the transfer?"
"Oh, that. I hadn't actually got around to doing anything about it," he confessed.
Olivia turned to him, a mixture of shock and amusement on her face. She smacked his arm. "Rafa!"
He smirked. "What can I say. Carmen's a little behind on her paperwork."
Olivia nodded, a grin beginning to form. "That so. And yet you gave her the afternoon off?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "Where were you coming from just now?"
"Me?" He stalled. But she just stared at him, allowing silence to do her work for her. Like a perp in the box, he cracked. "I may have gone to your office."
Olivia nodded slowly, letting it sink in. "What happened?"
"Rollins practically ripped me a new one. Then she sent me back here to find you. She can be pretty terrifying when she wants to be. Don't let that Southern belle act fool you."
Olivia laughed. "I'm kind of sorry I missed that."
"Well, I'm not. I'd like to keep a shred of dignity intact." He turned to face her and reached for her hands. "Liv, I am so sorry. I behaved like an idiot. I should have had more faith in you."
"You're damn right. You should have had more faith in us...in yourself, Rafael."
He looked up and down the empty corridor. It was a miracle they'd had it to themselves for this long. "Can we get out of here?"
"Not until I do this." Olivia's gaze flickered to his mouth and he watched the idea form on her face, his heart quickening as she licked her lips. She cupped his cheek and tenderly brushed her thumb beneath his eye, absorbing him softly. "Don't ever doubt yourself again," she whispered right before their lips met.
Olivia closed her eyes as the kiss deepened and she felt Rafa's hands slip into her hair and down her back to grip her coat, tugging her against him. She folded her arms around his neck, and they held each other in a tight embrace. Someone moaned in pleasure, and a door opened down the hallway. They flew apart, laughing nervously, smoothing clothing, fixing hair back into place.
Oliva reached for his hand. "Noah has a sleepover tonight. How about we go back to my place, order take out and we can pick this up where we left off?"
Rafael's eyebrows rose and fell. "Who are you and where have you been hiding these excellent ideas for so long?"
Olivia was laughing again as they got into the elevator. The ride to the ground was heady. He pushed her back against the wall and his tongue was in her mouth before the doors even closed. Every time she rode that elevator from then on, she would think of that moment and smile. She had something to thank Elliot for after all: for being an important part of her past and for nudging her towards her future.
As they lay in her bed that night, their bodies warm and loose beneath the sheets, stupid grins on their faces, Rafael leaned up on one elbow and brushed a lock of hair away from her face. "I will never leave you, mi amor," he said fiercely. "Believe in that."
Olivia nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. "I love you, Rafa," she whispered, and her voice cracked.
Rafael moved over her, shuddering as her beautiful body squirmed beneath him, setting his blood on fire. "Te amo, más que a nada en el mundo." I love you more than anything in the world.
Olivia kissed him with her smile, groaning as he slid inside her. "Keep talking, counselor."
Rafa grinned and cocked an eyebrow. "Spanish really doing it for you, huh?"
Delighted, she nodded as she circled her hips and slid her hands over his ass, drawing him deeper.
Breathlessly, Rafael whispered, "Hermosa, te amo desde el fondo de mi corazón." Beautiful, I love you from the bottom of my heart.
Her hips bucked, and he whispered, "Te querré para siempre." I will love you forever.
"More," she whispered, speeding up, her nails digging into his back.
"Te quiero, Olivia Benson. I want you, I love you, I need you."
The End
I hope you enjoyed that. More than anything, I hope Raúl Esparza comes back to SVU so that he can Liv can have their second act. Thank you for reading.
