JD tapped lightly on the door frame to the den. "Mind if I come in Ezra?"

More than anything, he thought to himself. He was not certain he could handle any more concern or consolations. But that was not the image he wanted to project at this point. "Of course not. Please, join me."

Ezra had once again been staring out, watching as Chris went about the morning routine with the horses. He didn't get to take care of them as often as he'd like, so when he was home instead of at work, he took advantage of the opportunity. Normally, Ezra would have loved to have joined him. Today though, he used the excuse that it likely still wasn't safe for him to be wandering outside. The truth was, he didn't feel all that comfortable around Chris after last night's discussion, and he had little doubt that the feeling was mutual.

"Buck and Vin are getting everything set up for when we take you home this afternoon. Guess you're looking forward to things getting back to normal."

"You have to remember JD, for me nothing has been abnormal. I have no recollection of the past days, or of what transpired during the period. But I will concede I am anxious to resume my customary practices and to re-establish myself in my own domicile."

JD grinned. "Good hearing those words coming from you as a grown-up again. It was kinda weird when we were thinking of you as a kid to hear it."

"Sadly, I always was more that a tad precocious. I trust I caused you no unwarranted difficulties?"

"Aside from picking my pocket a few times and beating the pants off me playing gin – nah. All good."

"Gin. My heavens, it has been years since I dealt that game out."

"Well, you haven't forgotten how to play. Or rather, you hadn't forgotten…Ah hell, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I believe I do. You say I was successful in our competition?"

"Sure were. Can't beat you at poker, and now I owe you $12.73 from gin."

Ezra grinned for the first time that day. "No doubt young Ezra was pleased by the result."

JD wished he could match Ezra's grin, or at least be good enough at bluffing to agree with him. "Actually, you - he wasn't. Kept apologizing for winning. I couldn't figure out why."

Ezra faltered slightly. He had sincerely hoped those quirks from his childhood had failed to manifest, but clearly, he hadn't been that lucky. "I learned quite early in my life that there were times it was safer to lose than to win. It was a lesson I had a great deal of trouble with, as it does tend be contrary to all my instincts and basic nature."

"Guess I should be saying sorry now Ezra. Didn't mean to bring up something that would get you upset, especially when you've got so much else on your mind today."

"Nonsense." He chose to dismiss the matter, hoping JD would do the same. "So, did you pay me the funds, or shall I add it to the balance I am sure to claim on our next poker soiree?"

"I still owe you. You didn't seem to want to take the money when we were playing." JD licked his lips as he stalled, trying to figure the best way to say what he was thinking. He knew Ezra might not want to hear it, but he felt he needed to say it regardless.

"Ezra, I know you well enough to know you hate talking about yourself, and I guess now we have a bit better idea why." He rushed ahead, not giving the other man a chance to stop him. "All I want to say, and then I won't bring it up again, is that I wish you hadn't gone through all that crap. No kid should ever be hit like that. It just sucks, and if I could figure out a way to make it better, I would."

"Trust me JD, you just did."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

If the first raid had gone as well as the second had, things would have been so much easier. Word hit the streets, courtesy of some well-placed informants, that Ezra Standish was now home and ready to testify. Within an hour of the time he'd been escorted home and then, in theory, left on his own, four gunmen broke into his apartment. They were greeted by the entire team, weapons drawn and aim steady. Another team blocked their exit. Ezra took great pleasure in cuffing a snarling Talbot himself.

"Should've made sure you were dead when I shoved you into that pool."

"Yes, you should have. Tragically wasted opportunity. And thank you so much for the unsolicited confession."

Now, less than a week later, in light of the evidence, statements, witness reports, not to mention the willingness of his own men to turn on him to avoid federal attempted murder charges, he was desperately trying to negotiate a deal. A deal that no one was accepting.

The hardest part of that week had been watching the inexplicable tension building between Chris and Ezra. In what should've been the best week they'd had in a while, their silences grew larger and louder each day, and the rest of the team was at a loss to understand.

Chris remained unwilling to accept Ezra's dismissal of everything that had come to light in the past days. He repeatedly insisted that his agent would not be allowed to return to work until he'd been given a clean bill of health from both a medical doctor and crisis counsellor. Ezra steadfastly refused to make appointments with either professional. It was only when Travis insisted on the medical clearance that he reluctantly agreed to that step of the process. But he still fought on an almost daily basis with Chris over a psychological evaluation.

It all came to a head on the sixth day when Ezra came to the office to take care of the forms required for his return to work. The team listened in the bullpen as they could hear the argument going on in Chris's office.

"Told you I won't sign off on this until you get a clean bill of health."

"If you look carefully at what you are holding, you will see the stamp of approval from the evaluation."

"That's not the one I mean, and you know it."

"For the last time, I will deal with this in my own manner."

"Well now there's the problem – isn't it. You aren't dealing with it, and you never have. Someone needs to force your hand on this, and I guess that't going to be me."

"While I appreciate the care and concern you showed, it was an anomaly. You are not my father. You are not family."

"Which I guess is the reason I never molested you?" Chris tried to swallow the words back, knowing he couldn't. Perhaps he'd get lucky and the building could just cave in on him.

"I knew it was only a matter of time until this happened. I had hoped for a bit longer to prepare for the eventuality, but apparently that was not meant to be."

"Dammit Ezra. I didn't mean – I don't. Ah, shit."

"Don't, please. Do you think that I am unaware of how difficult a secret like that is to maintain? And I have had considerably more practice than you."

"Ezra? Did he say what we think he just said?" Vin asked quietly from the doorway. Ezra turned to see the remainder of the team coming into the office, all with stunned looks on their faces.

Realization dawned on Josiah. "That would be your monster in the dark."

"I have told Chris, and I am telling you, all of you, just once. This matter does not need to be discussed any further. It is over. It has been over for years. The perpetrator is dead, and unworthy of our time and consideration. We need not speak of this again."

"Ezra –" Buck began.

"Ever. We need not ever speak of this again."

"I think we all disagree with you on that." Nathan replied.

"Well, that is unfortunate, but changes nothing. I have dealt with it. I have accepted it and moved on. Yes, I still have some nightmares, but far fewer than I used to. And yes, I don't imagine anyone is astounded by the fact this experience has served as a trigger to unleash some of those feelings and fears again. But I am not a child anymore. I have learned how to cope with this reality, and far better now than ever in my past." He looked at them, watching him, listening and trying to understand. He smiled. "You can't accept that. You can not comprehend how such a change is possible. Look at each other. If you could see what I see right now. This concern. This compassion. This support. I don't have to speak to anyone, as long as I know you are all here for me should that change. The knowledge that I am no longer alone is all that I need. All that I have ever needed. Can you accept that?"

No one spoke for several minutes, thinking over what he said, looking for signs that he truly meant it.

Josiah finally broke the silence, sizing up the expressions coming from the rest of the team before commenting. "Not sure if it will be all that easy son, but like you, we can learn."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

THE END