A.N.

Lemme tell y'all...I have found a new obsession and I am most certainly not sorry for the amount of time I have dedicated to this writing for this show instead of updating my main fic lol.

Have a pile of angst.

"You're my...mom?"

His breath hitches as the word leaves his mouth. This is his mother, she...is his mom...he found her. He had to find her. This woman is the one who left him.

Krolia shifts under his intense stare, "Yes" she says.

He wonders if he should be feeling elation, because that is most definitely not what he is feeling. His heart aches with shock, pain, anxiety...anger. All directed at her, his mother. He presses a palm to his forehead, fingers fisting in his bangs while he steps back to let everything sink in with a shake of his head.

She seems to note the change in his demeanor with concern, taking a step forward and raising her hand tentatively.

He shies away from her approach, incredulous that she could even think of such a thing. Of trying to be a mother after she had abandoned him, left him without a word and hardly a trace. He never thought he would take finding her like this. Of all the things he thought he would feel, feeling like the walls are closing in on him and knowing for certain that he was purposefully abandoned...it's making him panic.

He needs to distract himself.

"We-we need to get out of this system." he rambles, swinging around the far end of the pilot's seat to avoid her. He sets his eyes on the controls and the vast reaches of space, ignoring her silent, hulking presence just over his shoulder. He takes a deep breath, his exhale shuddering and broken as he types rapidly at the glowing buttons. They blur out as his eyes grow clouded in tears.

They are warping through space within seconds.

Krolia seems to take her dismissal with grace, though she doesn't miss the way her son tries to subtly wipe at his eyes every so often. It starts to sink in over the prolonged silence that the damage her leaving caused may be irreversible.

Keith twitches his fingers where his grip is tight on the steering. They're on an automatic course, he doesn't even need to be sitting in the chair anymore. But he can't do anything else. He can't look at her, he can't take his mind off of her, he can't breathe.

He hunches over as he chokes on air, hunching his shoulders and hyperventilating.

"Keith I-"

"Don't." he gasps, holding up a hand and quivering as his panic attack takes its course. "Don't touch me." he adds, and he sees her step back out of the corner of his eye.

"I was going to say that I can drive." she says in a low voice. He gets the vague sense that she has no idea how to handle his situation. Of course she doesn't, she never stuck around to find out how.

He almost contemplates staying in the seat, but instead shoves the controls away and stands. He walks toward the back of the ship before he plants his hand on the wall to brace his weight against. He covers his mouth to muffle the sob, hanging his head.

He hears her footsteps, and he stiffens when he feels her stop within feet of him.

"Keith, if you're hurting, talk to me." Krolia says, and the hesitation in her voice prompts him to look at her in his periphery. Tears and all forgotten in favor of studying the face that should have been there, should have stayed.

"You're goddamn right I'm hurting." he rasps, turning to face her and yet keeping his posture closed, hands fisted by his sides and his face twisted in a pained grimace. "Did you even...did you ever plan coming back?" he asks.

"Keith, you of all people understand that this war is more important than any one person's needs or wishes." Krolia says.

"I don't care about the war! That's not what this is about and you know it! I should have been important enough that you would have stayed!" Keith exclaims, and she seems slightly startled, "Hell, dad alone should have been enough, and you still left! Do you realize what it was like? Growing up without a mother, knowing you left me..." he covers his eyes with a hand and reels in a shuddering sob, "That I wasn't important enough for you to stay."

"It wasn't like that!" she defends, "I was trying to protect you! You don't know the circumstances. I was stationary for so long the Galra could have found me any day."

"Then why didn't you just take us with you?" Keith wipes at his eyes and she frowns.

"You know how the Blade functions, Keith. No connections, no emotions. I couldn't afford to bring you two with me because you could be used against me if anyone found me out and subsequently found out about you." she explains.

"And yet eighteen years later and you haven't been compromised." Keith drawls sarcastically, and her surety seems to falter.

"You two would have been moving from planet to planet your entire life. You didn't deserve-"

"Do not!" Keith holds up his hand, huffing out a small, almost hysterical laugh, "Don't you dare say I didn't deserve to be moving across the stars with my family!" he pauses to inhale deeply, "And whether you wanted it to happen or not, I was passed around from person to person for most of my childhood anyway...after dad died." he says it bitingly, and she finally seems shaken.

"He..." Krolia's lips part in shock, breath hitching, "When?"

Keith wipes at fresh tears and turns his head, "A long time ago." he mutters.

"Keith, I'm sorry." she says, and he looks up to see her looking impossibly small, shamed.

"Sorry doesn't change anything." he says, "I...can't forgive and forget, just like that."

She glances to the front of the ship and nods, "I suppose I shouldn't expect you to." she says.

Keith hugs himself and slumps against the wall, gritting his teeth against the sobs climbing their way up his throat. "No, you shouldn't." he rasps, letting himself slide to the floor and burying his face in his arms. He wants to shrug her away again when she places a hand on his head, fingers scratching gently against his scalp. But he can hardly find the energy to do so, what with being so emotionally drained.

"What I did is unforgivable. I understand." she says, and he hiccups softly. "I can't go back in time and fix it. I made a huge mistake, I left you, but as I said, I won't leave you again." he lifts his head at those words, contemplating. "So would you give me a chance? Now that I have you here, I don't want to miss out on knowing my son."

He sniffles and looks up at her. It's tempting, to give in to her request, and he knows he will. And yet at the prospect a curl of fear stirs in his gut. What if it happens again? What if she grows tired of him and leaves? What if he ends up pushing her away...like he does everyone else?

He stills when she wipes at his cheek with her thumb. His decision is practically made without his own permission.

"Okay. I'll give you a chance...to earn my trust." he murmurs.

Krolia smiles, relief passing over her features, "Thank you, Keith."

Keith only nods and hugs his knees to his chest. His tears are starting to fade, and while most of his thoughts are filled with trepidation and lingering disbelief, he isn't quite as upset as he was earlier. At least for now.

"Hey."

Krolia sits down beside him properly, having been kneeling, "Yes?"

"Did you love him?" he asks, looking up at her inquisitively, "Dad."

Krolia looks away rather quickly, her features turned sorrowful, "Yeah. I did."

Keith gulps, fighting his new urge to cry, "And...me?"

She drapes her arm over his shoulder, her voice strained when she answers, "Yes, Keith, I loved...do love you."

He nods, biting his lip and blinking away fresh tears. "Okay."

She doesn't hug him for long, as if she feels she's not allowed to, but when she encases him in her arms he wraps his own weary arms back around her with minimal hesitation. His pride doesn't allow him to cry into her shoulder despite how much he feels like doing so. And he is somewhat loathe to admit that he misses her warmth when she parts from him.

"I need to check our course." she says, standing and striding over to the pilot's chair.

He nods, resting his head against the wall with a thump and a sigh.

It's not that he isn't glad he found her, but he supposes he hadn't been expecting her, and he had been much less prepared for his own reaction. He doesn't know if he'll ever get over his anxiety that she'll leave him, and if she does...he can't say he would be surprised. She's done it before after all.

He buries that thought for now. He did say he would give her a chance. And he wants to, he wants to more than words can say. So he'll let her try. And he'll try too.

He looks up at the pilot seat, unable to see her from this angle.

'Mom...'

It feels ridiculous to say, and yet, at the same time, it feels just right.