October 1973

"Did you hear something?"

James stopped in his tracks. He eyed Sirius as the two of them stood in complete silence for a long moment. He could see the complete and total nervousness on his best mate's face. "Do you want to go back?" The moment the words left his mouth he felt like an arse. He knew what Sirius' answer would be, despite how he was feeling.

Sirius shook his head. "Course not. I just thought I heard something is all."

James' two top front teeth bit down on his bottom lip as he nodded. He knew that Sirius was concerned. James would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn't concerned as well. They were done for if they got caught. They already had Saturday detention for the next two weeks thanks to the prank they had pulled in the middle of Potions class. Slughorn has practically jumped out of his skin when the no smoke fireworks went off in the back of the classroom. If it had been any other teacher they likely would have been expelled but Slughorn hated to punish anyone. When McGonagall had discovered what they had done they had both received the lecture of a lifetime and a promise that an owl would go home if they got in any more trouble. James didn't have a doubt in his mind how his dad would react to that and he was sure that Sirius didn't either.

This was worth it though; this was for Remus.

Still, James couldn't help but be more concerned with the friend that was next to him at the moment.

"We could go back," James said softly as he and Sirius started walking once more. "It wouldn't be a big deal."

Sirius eyed his best mate. He knew exactly what he was doing. No way in hell did James really want to turn back. "Stop," Sirius said in a miffed tone. He didn't mean to sound so annoyed with James. He knew that he was only trying to be nice. Albeit that, he couldn't help but feel like a dolt. "I'm fine."

"Sorry," James replied in a melancholy voice.

Sirius sighed softly now feeling an complete arse. He hadn't made to make James feel bad. He knew that he was just trying to do what was right for him. "Do you reckon it will be easy to find?" He had to change the subject. Otherwise, the mood would just get too sober and Sirius couldn't handle the guilt of that being his fault.

James shrugged. "Slughorn made it sound like it was. He said that they wash up every evening that there is a quarter moon remember?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied. "I just don't remember ever seeing them is all."

"Well we were never looking for them," James pointed out as they turned the corner. The secret passage that they were using was new to them. A lot of the secret passages at Hogwarts were confusing with multiple twists and turns in each direction. James liked that this particular passage had only one turn and aside from that was a straight shot. It led to a cellar door which was less than twenty feet from the Great Lake.

They had spent every extra moment for the past few weeks combing through the restricted section in the library for any information that they could find on how to transform. Despite the fact that it was illegal, the idea of being able to be there with Remus when he transformed was enough to make James and Sirius ignore the law altogether.

The spell was incredibly hard to master but they had found an old book that claimed if a potion was made and drank twice a month it would help their bodies with the transformation. At first they were sure it was complete bull but they were now desperate enough to try it. Their sad attempts at trying to become Animagi weren't getting them anywhere.

It was becoming frustrating too. They were too used to mastering spells with ease. The idea that they couldn't master this just yet was starting to really get to them. Enough that the idea of sneaking down to the Great Lake to find whelk shells in the middle of the night to make a potion that they weren't even sure would work seemed like the best idea.

"That's true," Sirius answered. "Do you think that the potion will actually work?"

James shrugged. "Dunno but trying can't hurt."

They stopped at the end of the long tunnel.

"Here goes nothing," James said with a small grin. He grabbed the handle of the of the cellar door and turned it before pushing it open.

The cool night air instantly made Sirius shiver. He was regretting the fact that they had chosen to wear their pajama pants and tee shirts in case they were caught in the castle halls.

The two of them quickly moved up the stairs and out into the night.

Sirius quickly looked around making sure that he could not see anyone watching them before he jogged over to the lake with James a step in front of him.

"There are some over there," James said excitedly as he pointed down the shoreline.

Sirius stopped and rolled up his pajama pants so that he could wade in the water to collect the whelks.

James glanced over at his friend before following his lead. It often amazed him that what he didn't think of Sirius did and vice versa.

Seconds later the two boys were in ankle deep water picking up the shells that they could see.

"We need twelve," James reminded Sirius.

"Fourteen," Sirius corrected him. He had read the potion ingredients over several times, he was positive that it had said that fourteen whelks were needed.

"No twelve," James insisted. "It is definitely twelve."

"I'm telling you it's fourteen," Sirius argued. "I read it again about an hour ago to be sure. It's fourteen whelks and twelve Shrivelfig seeds."

James shook his head. "No that's backwards."

The two were so deep in their conversation that they didn't notice the water rippling behind where James stood.

"Let's just get fourteen so that no matter who is right we are covered," Sirius suggested.

"Alright," James agreed without hesitation.

Sirius turned his back to his friend and then leaned over to search for more shells.

James moved his foot and felt a shell under his toes. He reached down to pick it up but before he could reach the shell a slimy tentacle wrapped around his arm and started pulling him deeper into the water.

"Sirius!" James yelled in a panicked voice. He completely forgot that they were supposed to be trying to be quiet. "Sirius help!"

Sirius quickly stood up and turned around to see his best mate being dragged out into the lake.

Sirius felt fear rush through his body however he forced himself to ignore it. He didn't give a second thought to his actions as he watched James be pulled backwards into the water. He ran towards James hoping that whatever was pulling him didn't have a friend.

Sirius reached out for James hand but missed by an inch.

"Sirius!" James said in a desperate voice.

Sirius reach for James once more, this time locking his hand around James' wrist. He pulled as hard as he could but his strength was no match for the creature that had ahold of James.

Sirius pulled harder as he watched James being pulled underwater but instead of being able to pull James away, Sirius went under water with him.

The trepidation raced through Sirius once more as the coldness of the water enveloped his body. He tugged at James but could only feel himself being pulled deeper out into the lake.

He cursed at the idea that they had left their wands up in their dormitory. At the time it had seemed like the right thing to do. They had reasoned that if they were caught in the hallways of the castle in pajamas without their wands that it would be easier to talk themselves out of trouble. They hadn't taken into consideration that they might have found themselves fighting for their lives in the lake.

Sirius could feel his lungs starting to burn from holding air in them for so long. The idea that James had been holding his breath for a few moments longer entered his mind and he couldn't help but worry that his friend was far worse off than him.

Sirius jerked James' arm once more. Miraculously Sirius felt his body being pulled out of the water. He didn't let go of his grip on James until the two of them landed roughly on the grassy hill overlooking the lake.

For a split second Sirius thought that maybe his desire to save James had given him superhuman strength or maybe he had somehow done accidental, uncontrollable magic. He hadn't done that since he was about eight but he wasn't convinced that it couldn't happen.

Sirius heard James coughing loudly and quickly sat up. The moment that he did his blanket of comfort at the idea of not dying in the lake was ripped from him.

"What on earth were the two of you thinking?"

Sirius was sure that he had never seen the woman as angry as she was now and he had seen her plenty cross in the past.

Her lips were set in a tight line. Her eyes were open wide and glaring down at the pair of them. Her eyes were narrowed moving back and forth between the two of them angrily.

James coughed loudly once more spitting out lake water before getting himself under control. "Professor McGonagall," he sputtered. "We can explain."

James quickly scrambled to his feet with Sirius following suit a second behind him.

"There is absolutely no explanation for this," she replied in a relentless voice.

"No see we were out here because we were working on a Potions assignment and we had to-"

"Mr. Black you are in enough trouble as it is do you honestly think that adding lying to your list of misdeeds is wise?"

"No ma'am," Sirius stammered. He could feel James' eyes boring into him. Without even looking at him he knew that his best friend was shocked. Sirius couldn't remember a moment where he had given in so quickly but he was sure he had never been in this much trouble before in his life either.

"We're sorry," James offered. He was feeling absolutely wretched. Sirius looked like he wanted to cry. He had never truly wanted to do this and James had practically forced him.

"Sorry will not be enough this time Mr. Potter," she said sternly. "Do the two of you even realize that had I not heard the commotion out here you both would have likely drowned in the lake? Grindylows do not take kindly to trespassers in their home, especially at night. I am sure that at your age the two of you have learned that in class."

James nodded absentmindedly. Normally he would never confess to putting himself in such a situation so quickly. He was sure that McGonagall was about to start foaming at the mouth though and he knew enough to know that lying to her or keeping her waiting for an answer would only make matters worse.

Professor McGonagall made a disapproving noise before she waved her wand causing both boys to dry completely.

"Thank you," Sirius couldn't help but reply to her action. He hadn't realized how cold he had been in his sopping wet clothes until they were warm and dry.

She did not acknowledge his words but instead fixed the two of them with a stern stare. "This is absolutely the most irresponsible stunt that the two of you have ever pulled. Surely you realize that a simple detention will not suffice as an appropriate consequence for your actions."

Sirius found himself holding his breath.

"The two of you will march yourselves up to your dormitory. I will be sending an owl home to the Potter residence in regards to the behavior the two of you displayed tonight as I am aware of your living situation. In the meantime, I will be working on coming up with a punishment that will teach you to refrain from ever doing anything so foolish again!"

Sirius felt the blood drain from his face at the idea of the Potters getting a letter sent home about his behavior. He was absolutely sure that this would be the end for him. Getting into trouble while at home was one thing but a letter being sent home was a whole different level. Sirius was absolutely sure that the Potters would decide that he was too much trouble. He would be on his own before the night was over.

"But Professor we-"

"I don't recall asking for your opinion on any of this Mr. Potter! Now the two of you will do as I have asked and get yourselves up to your dormitory."

Sirius didn't wait another moment. He hurried past McGonagall and as he passed James he grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him along with him.

"We probably could have talked her out of it," James mumbled when they were far enough away from the Head of their House.

Sirius didn't answer. He could already feel the tears burning the back of his throat and the letter hadn't even been sent yet.

"Siri," James said as he halted to a stop. "What is it?"

Sirius shook his head in reply. He was sure that if he answered his tears would start and he couldn't live with that - he just couldn't.

James' eyes searched Sirius' face as the realization of what was bothering his friend hit him. "Siri it will be fine. You'll see."

"No, it will be fine for you," Sirius clarified. "You are their real kid. This is it for me."

James shook his head forcefully. "You are wrong. You'll see. We are in trouble, there's no doubt about that but it won't change anything."

James glanced out of the castle door to see Professor McGonagall making her way towards them. He quickly pulled Sirius down a long hallway and up a back staircase. The last thing they needed was to be caught dawdling on their way to their dormitory.

The moment that they were back in their common room, James turned his attention back to his best mate. Sirius' face was one of full apprehension and James felt like an absolute git for being the cause of it. Sirius had never wanted to sneak out to the lake and if James had just listened to him that wouldn't be in the position they were in now.

"Siri it'll be okay," James said in a soft voice. He half wished they could floo home right this second and face the music just so that Sirius would see that everything would be okay. The other half of him hoped that McGonagall was just bluffing and that his parents would never find out what they had done. He knew how disappointed his father would be and that was far worse than any punishment the man could dole out.

"I just want to go to bed," Sirius replied. He was silently praying that somehow this was all a dream and he would wake up in a few hours to tell James all about how stupid they had been in his imagination.

"It really will," James tried once more. "You'll see. Nothing will change. They aren't like that."

"I just want to go to bed," Sirius repeated once more. This time he actually started to move towards the staircase that led to their dormitory.

James paused as he searched for the right words. He didn't know what to say though. He had no idea how to make Sirius believe that his parents weren't going to throw him out of their house. So James did the only thing he could think of - he gave in. "Okay," he agreed as he followed Sirius towards the stairs. "If that's what you want."

Sirius was silent as he climbed the staircase with James only a step behind him.

He remained silent as he climbed into his bed and rolled onto his side, his back now facing James.

Sirius couldn't help the tears that had welled up in his eyes. He blinked rapidly in an effort to keep them from falling. He had messed up and crying wasn't going to help.

He had heard James' words but he didn't believe them. His father had constantly told him throughout his life that he was more trouble than he was worth. Sirius was sure that the Potters would see that now. They were nice people of course, much nicer than he was used to. He was sure that they would be kind to him and very apologetic but there was no way that they would want to keep him.

He had come so close to maybe finding a real family.

He felt a hot, wet tear drip down his nose and he quickly brushed it away. He was stronger than this. He didn't deserve to feel sorry for himself.

All he could do now is apologize and figure out what he was going to do next. He was sure that if he tried his hardest he could make it on his own. It wouldn't be easy but he could do it.

James' eyes opened slowly as the sun came through the window and hit his face. The memory of the night before rushed back to him and he quickly sat up.

The first thing he noticed was Sirius in a ball under his blankets. The second thing he noticed was the envelope on his nightstand. He didn't have to read it to know who it was from. He instantly recognized the seal on the envelope. He frequently saw them on the letters that were stacked on his dad's desk in his study.

James didn't need to open the letter to know what it said. There was no way that after what had happened he didn't want them home. As much as he was not looking forward to facing the man he was thankful that his dad wasn't one of those fathers that would come to Hogwarts to escort him home. About two weeks ago a fourth year in Ravenclaw had gotten in trouble and a letter had been sent home. Nearly half the school had seen the boy's father leading him down the hallway by his ear explaining to him in no uncertain terms exactly what awaited him at home. Luckily for James - and Sirius- his dad wasn't like that. He would give the boys the chance to come home on their own.

Slowly James picked up the envelope and slowly opened it. His eyes scanned the letter before dropping it beside him on his bed and jumping up.

He rushed to Sirius' side and then slowed down and gently shook his shoulder.

Sirius stirred slightly but did not wake.

James shook him once more, a bit more roughly causing his friend's eyes to slowly open.

James took Sirius' appearance in for a moment. A blind man could have seen how miserable he was. He looked as though he had been up half the night crying. His eyes were red and puffy. His cheeks were chapped and raw.

In an instant, James forgot about the letter from his dad. He climbed up onto Sirius' bed, he pulled his knees to his chest and looked into his best friends eyes. "Talk to me. You look awful."

James didn't care that Remus was snoring in his own bed. He didn't care that Peter looked as though he was about to wake up any moment. He had completely blocked the rest of their dormitory out. His attention was solely on Sirius.

"I'm fine," Sirius said in a hoarse voice.

"You aren't," James replied. "You know that you aren't and we don't lie to each other."

A look of guilt swept over Sirius' face. James was right. They didn't lie to each other. Not over something stupid like whether they studied for the Potions exam and certainly not over something as solemn as this.

"Sorry," James couldn't help but say when he saw Sirius' reaction to his words. "But it's true, we don't."

"Your dad wants us home today doesn't he?" Sirius asked. He was sure of the answer. He had gotten to know Mr. Potter quite well over the summer and although the man was nice and caring and loving; he also didn't put up with disobedience. There was no way that McGonagall sent a letter home and it wasn't going to result in his expecting the boys home.

"Yeah," James nodded. "Right after breakfast actually."

"I'm not going," Sirius replied in a somber voice.

James' eyes widened at these words. His dad wasn't one to come to Hogwarts and collect them but he was sure that if Sirius refused to go that is exactly what would happen and Sirius would die of embarrassment. James couldn't allow that to happen - he just couldn't. "You have to."

"Your parents are amazing," Sirius said as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. "Really they are. They are so kind and they did so much for me over the summer. I'll probably never be able to repay them."

"Listening to them and doing as they say is probably a good start," James said before he could stop himself.

"It's done Jamie," Sirius said in a whisper. "After this stunt they aren't going to want me there. I'm more trouble than I am worth."

"That's your father talking not my father," James replied before he could think about the words coming out of his mouth. He often had a habit of speaking before thinking. It never bothered him as much as when he saw the looks on Sirius' face after he did it to him. This morning was no different. "Sorry," he muttered a moment later.

"You're right, it is my father talking," Sirius agreed. "But what if he is right? Your parents didn't sign up for another kid that gets in trouble at school. We haven't even been back for two full months yet."

"They signed up for you Siri," James said softly. "They know you aren't perfect. They don't expect you to be. They aren't going to disown you or kick you out or whatever. They love you, we all do."

"How do you know that?" Sirius asked. He had been sure that he was all out of tears but now they were welling up in his eyes once more. He prayed that he could keep them under control. Peter would be awake any moment and Sirius would die before he let him see him cry.

"My mum makes your favorite foods all the time. She likes to talk to you about astronomy. She went out and bought you all new trousers when you grew two inches at the end of the summer. She sends you an owl every Friday telling you about the plans she has for new plants she wants to add to the garden because you told her that you are interested in growing plants - something that you didn't even tell me," James said with a raised eyebrow. When Sirius grinned softly James expression grew serious once more. "And dad...he checks on you every night when we are home to make sure you are asleep and okay, even if he doesn't get home until super late and he knows that you are asleep. He talks to you about muggle things and really enjoys answering your questions. He gets excited when you agree to play a game of chess with him. They stayed up with you all night when you had that fever this summer. When someone asks how many children they have they say that they have two sons. They started the formalities to legally adopt you." James paused as he watched Sirius blink rapidly. He wasn't stupid he knew that his best friend was trying his hardest not to cry. "We messed up pretty bad," James admitted. "It'll be a miracle if we don't get walloped for this. Dad is going to tell us how disappointed he is in us and it's going to be horrible, no doubt about that. But that's it Siri. They aren't going to beat you or disown you. Mum will make your favorite dessert tonight and everything will be back to normal."

"What if you are wrong?" Sirius asked in a fearful tone.

"Then...then I will leave with you," James replied confidently. "If they disown you they will have to disown me too. "That's how important you are to me."

Without any warning at all, Sirius leaned forward and wrapped his arms tightly around James. He had never known someone to care for him as much as James did.

James smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around Sirius and squeezed him tightly. "Eat breakfast and then go home and face the music?"

Sirius was silent for a moment before he nodded in reply. "Yeah, we can do that."

Author's Note - so I can't decide if this should end here or include one more chapter. Feel free to drop me a line with your opinion...