A short story based on the Thor: Ragnarok scene in which Doctor Strange asked Thor if he has a cell phone or a computer. He seemed to think Thor's lack of tech was unusual.
Which made me wonder… would a superhero like Doctor Strange have a cell phone?
And, if so, what apps would he have?
And a short story burned itself into my mind… ;)
Emily sighed and flopped down on the bed inside her tiny studio apartment, cell phone in hand. Work had been a bitch. Eighty-plus hours a week just to make partner in a law firm she didn't particularly care for. She sighed. It almost made her wish for her pro bono work back in the Manhattan public defender's office. Almost.
Time to check Tinder. Maybe this time she'd find a guy who wasn't a complete idiot, maybe she'd even discover one who was interested in more than just sex, though she doubted it.
Josh. 39. The quintessential douchebag mirror selfie pic. No smile, naturally. His profile read simply, "hey lucky ladies i'm here because my mom wants grandchildren and i'm too lazy to go out and find a date, bboy baller and gamer."
She shook her head. And… swiping left.
Mark. 42. His blond hair looked like it hadn't been combed in weeks. His eyes were wide, and he seemed to be flashing a gang sign. No bio. None. Why would someone upload one god-awful pic of themselves and nothing else?
Emily didn't know. Swiping left.
Reggie. 40. His picture seemed normal enough. Reggie stood in what appeared to be a bar. His dark eyes engaged the camera, and his smile was practically contagious. His profile said, "Love being with women, especially more than one at once. Haha. But seriously, I'm always UP for an adventure, if you know what I mean… ;)"
For fuck's sake. Left.
Stephen. 42. Only two miles away. And… holy shit. This one was pretty damn hot. Gorgeous face. Dark hair with silver sideburns, piercing blue eyes. But Emily contemplated swiping left just on general principle. Nothing ever ended well with men this attractive. Most of them were arrogant jerks.
And yet... his profile was endearing. I'm new to online dating and just want to find someone I can connect with.
He seemed too good to be true. Emily tapped a finger against the side of her phone, considering. The last time she'd swiped right, she'd gotten immediate messages that said things like, "Hey baby. What's up?" Or "U up for it?"
Emily sighed. Well, what the hell? You only live once.
The letters popped up on the screen: "It's a Match."
She smiled. Maybe this day would end on a high note.
She grabbed a pillow from the head of her bed and, sinking into its softness, she pressed the "Send Message" button. Once upon a time, Emily used to wait for men to message her, but that had always ended badly. She'd learned from painful experience it was better for her to set the tone.
But she hesitated, her fingers poised over the phone. What could she say?
Finally she typed, "Hey Stephen. So, apparently the algorithms of Tinder have destined us for messaging. I thought your profile was sweetly honest. I'm currently a workaholic for a law firm downtown, and the only "someone" I have to come home to is my goldfish. But just like you, I'm at a place where meeting someone who doesn't suck would be a welcome change to my current reality."
There. It wasn't Shakespeare but it would have to do.
Emily stretched and went in search of some comfortable pajamas that were actually clean. Between removing her makeup and brushing her teeth, her cell buzzed.
She strolled over and grinned at the screen. It was a message from Stephen.
"Hi Emily. Thanks for the message. Sorry I couldn't answer right away. I was sending Null the Living Darkness into the Netherworld of Eternal Doom."
Emily laughed out loud. She hadn't done that in ages. Especially from a complete stranger on Tinder.
"Nice," she typed. "But… poor Null. What did he ever do to you?"
It took only a few seconds for Stephen's reply. "He attempted to battle creation on Earth by creating an inter-dimensional portal to a large pocket of anti-matter. An influx of any antimatter, but especially that amount, would've been catastrophic if he'd succeeded. As you might imagine."
Emily couldn't seem to wipe the grin off her face. FINALLY, a man with creativity and a sense of humor. She wrote, "I'm surprised you have time to date."
"I don't have a lot of free time, no. In my former life, I was a neurosurgeon but now my emphasis is on helping others instead of selfish pursuits. I love thought-provoking conversations, and traveling across time and space. My job takes me all over, but it would be nice to have someone to come home to eventually…"
"Aw... that's sweet."
"Is it? I'm just being honest."
"And… wow. You were a neurosurgeon?"
"That's right."
"What is it you do now?"
She expected another voice-to-text lightning-fast reply, but instead her screen remained blank. Emily sat on her bed, frowning at the phone.
She waited. No new message appeared from him.
Finally, a gray bubble revealed his response. "Do you want the truth, or a good white lie?"
"I'd prefer the truth."
"Okay. I'm a sorcerer."
Another laugh escaped Emily's throat. She shook her head and typed, "Wow. You wouldn't happen to teach at any schools for witchcraft and wizardry, would you? Or maybe have a stone of immortality available for purchase?"
Only an instant went by before Stephen's answer. "That particular stone is not for sale, though I'm happy to teach you about the mystic arts if you're interested."
The mystic arts, huh? She chuckled. "I'll pass. Unless Harry Potter will be there."
A pause. Then, "You do know I'm being completely serious, don't you?"
Emily smiled as she typed. "I love your sense of humor, btw."
"I'm sorry Emily, but I'm not joking."
She shook her head as she typed. "Sure, okay."
"I mean it."
Emily almost dropped her phone. She sat up straighter in bed. "Wait. So you're actually telling me that you're a sorcerer."
"Yes."
"As in… you do sorcery and magic?"
"That's right. I wouldn't joke about the mystic arts. My apologies. I thought you knew I was being serious this whole time. And I don't have a stone of immortality, though my friends call it the Soul Gem. I'm searching for it now actually."
Emily sat frozen, her mind incapable of forming a reply.
"Anyway," Stephen went on, "I feel like we have a connection, and I'd love to meet in person. I'll have some time after traveling to the Kingdom of Tazza tomorrow afternoon. Does that work for you? We could go out for coffee."
Unbelievable.
Emily didn't bother writing back. She tapped her screen to unmatch Stephen. Yet another nut job on Tinder.
And a sorcerer...? Really? Good god, just how gullible did he think she was?
She sighed. She knew he'd been too good to be true. But at least the man had been original. Kudos to him.
And…. block.