Rating: PG-13 (language)
Disclaimer. The Magnificent Seven is owned by Trilogy, Mirish, MGM, not me, and some others I'm not sure of. Warner Bros. has the rights to Twilight Zone: The Movie. I'm not making any money.
WARNING: If you haven't seen the segment 'Nightmare at 20,000 Feet' in Twilight Zone: The Movie, (which I've always called 'that thing on the wing of the airplane movie' and lived in mortal fear of for years) this probably isn't going to make much sense and you're not gonna like it. I'm just having fun here. This just came to me out of the blue and my best friend thought it was funny so I thought someone else might get a kick out of it too. If you liked it, please let me know. If you didn't, well...I warned ya.
Comments: Thanks Janet and Judy!!!
Lloyd at 20,000 Feet
By: Ruby
Lloyd was tired and bored. He'd been sitting out here on the wing on this airplane for two hours and not one dang passenger had noticed him.
Damn that annoyed him. How else was he going to entertain himself? It was his Saturday night ritual; go to the sports bar, down a few with Harry and Frank - then the wing of the airplane thing. How was he going to scare the holy bejeesus out of some poor bastard if no one would LOOK HIS WAY!!
Ok, deep breaths, he tried to remember what that councilor at that anger management class had taught him.
Deep breaths. Well, hell, I'll just entertain my self for a while. I'll just - HEY! This damn engine isn't made very well; it just came apart in my hand. Aren't there FCC regulations or something?
The hairs on the back of his neck-like appendage stood up. He could feel someone staring at him. He glanced over. Eureka!!! There. Right there over the wing, the shade was up and one of those horribly ugly little humans was staring at him.
He rubbed his hands together. "Let's Get It On!"
He started pulling pieces of the engine out, flailing his arms and looking devilish. It wasn't hard. He had the irresistible urge to rub his big eye, but was afraid that might ruin his image. His contact had started itching. It was hard to get good contacts when one eye was a perfectly normal size and the other was the size of a GOD DAMNED GRAPEFRUIT!!
"Ouch!!!"
He'd cut the tip of his finger on a sharp part of the engine. "Ow, ow, ow!" Maybe when he got home Clarice would kiss it for him. The mouth-like opening on his face turned up in a smile and his eyes glazed over. WAIT! Wait! What the hell am I thinking?! Ok, focus. Focus. Scare ugly thing. Scare ugly thing. He furtively glanced back over at the plane.
Bingo.
That 'thing' was still staring at him. Slowly the shade started to close. Hey? Hey! Dammit, I can't scare you with the shade closed. Ok, it's time for my little 'trick.'
He started towards the middle of the plane. "Ahh!" He picked himself back up. Dang hump there. He looked around; hoping someone hadn't seen him trip. He finally made his way to the window. Ok, here's what I'll do. I'll just sit here and STARE at the shade. That ugly thing in there will 'feel' me staring at him and he won't be able to resist the urge to pull that damn shade up.
Yeah, I'll just sit here...and...stare. Starin' at that window. Do...Do...Do...just starin'- Man! Wish I had thumbs, then I could twiddle them. I'll just sit here and stare. Patience is a virtue, that's what Uncle Elmer used to always say. Patience is a - COME ON!!! Open the damn shade for the love of GOD!! My butts gettin' sore and I'm late for dinner. My shoulders hurt from sittin' here like this with my face all the way up to the window so that when the shade gets opened I'm right- "AHH!"
Ok, that scared him.
The shade suddenly went up and there was someone RIGHT THERE!!
Damn that's scary!
He collected himself and gave the human staring out at him his nastiest stare. Then he saw it. It was the most terrifying thing he'd ever seen. The look on that human's face. Icy blue eyes, (that are really green, but the 'icy blue' thing works) the hard set to the chin, that cold hard stare. Christ! What *is* that?! He flinched, moved back away from the look that was promising a long slow death for him, turned tail and ran off into the night. "Yipe...yipe...yipe...yipe...yi-"
*****
Chris Larabee smiled as he closed the shade one more time. He settled back into the uncomfortable airplane seat and went back to sleep.
the end (Feb 2000)