Party Animals Side B (2/2)

Most people agreed that Janna was the brains of the operation with her best girlfriend Jackie as the heart and soul of the crew. Some people liked to think of Marco as simply the brute of the group and she didn't blame them. It was easy to make the assumption. He wore a chest plate most of the time, carried a sword, and had the disturbing tendency to fight people twice his size and win without a scratch. Underneath all that though, Marco was a massive, massive nerd. Like the biggest. Straight A's, teacher's pet whenever he was around, and almost irresponsibly responsible. He was the type to have his eyes and fingers on and in everything, just to make sure.

His favorite subjects were math, psychology, and economics and he was obsessed with data and charts. Anyone who knew him took great care to avoid delving too deeply into any of those three subjects whenever he was around as he was very knowledgeable about those topics and very, very willing to share. He had lofty and innovative ideas that often led to people making thousands to millions of dollars. He knew his stuff. She just wished she understood how their conversation led to that from asking about Star, "So, according to Jackie, their economy is mostly supported by their cultivation of corn. I'm not currently sure if there are any difference from our local corn but given the nature of their kingdom and the political climate, I'm willing to bet our corn has higher yields and faster growth. Given our relative peace, we could also function as a sort of backup for their corn production with the potential to be a direct supplier. Maybe see if we can grow their strain of corn. If we could establish trade channels-," the worst part was that she had no idea about the circumstances behind that day's events. She might have more money and power than any teenager had any right to be given unrestricted access to but the fact remained that if Marco wanted to disappear, he disappeared. Only a quarter of the cameras she had set up around his house worked at any given time and she was sure it was only because he let them.

And none of those facts told her anything at all since even he seemed taken by surprise by what had happened. She was trying to ferret out secrets from one of the most secretive people she knew who also happened to be out of the loop. "Enough. Any particular reason why you called me this late?"

He looked over his shoulder to the black sack on his back. Something inside was struggling. Not too large and not something with developed limbs judging by the way the sack bulged and sank. He also seemed a tad too pleased looking at it. "I can't hold this sack and punch the girl inside in case she gnaws her way out. I need someone else to do the punching."

Girl, huh? Interesting to know if he always checked the genders of random animals before bagging them. Punching them also seemed out of character but he knew more about the situation than she did at the moment, "Right. So you have like a feral puppy or a bear cub or-"

"Flying unicorn head," he answered without missing a beat. His expression and tone as if whatever inside peed on him or killed his family or something.

She gave him a blank look before shrugging and focusing how far they were from Jackie's house. "All right then." Assuming he wasn't joking, doubtful given how he acted around her and Jackie, this probably had something to do with Star. The confusing problem though was Marco was absolutely fascinated by anything and everything related to their transdimensional princess exchange student. Him being angry at anything related to her was odd and un-Marco-like. "You seem unusually angry at the unicorn head. Something happened?"

His glare grew sharper before he sighed. "She just popped up on my doorstep looking for Star. I punched her out by accident."

She raised an eyebrow. He'd only ever sucker punched people he knew beforehand. Most tended to have it coming. "Punched her by accident, huh? And she?"

He shrugged, "She sounded like a she."

She waved him off as she observed the sack. The unicorn head's struggling hadn't changed since they started talking so it might be reading lips or some other visual means of communications. He also sounded way too confident in calling her a she. "Alright then. You're the expert in flying unicorn head biology. I'm sure you took your time and effort to make sure of her gender after you knocked her unconscious."

He slumped in embarrassment and whined, "Janna."

She gave a chuckle before eying the sack again. It had been floundering ever since she arrived and she literally had a chauffeur on speed dial for just such an occasion. It couldn't have been more than ten minutes. "Is she okay though? I mean, knocking people unconscious isn't exactly safe."

He looked over his shoulder once more. "She's fine. Had to replace the sack though since the last one wasn't soundproof."

She gave him a hard look, sneaked a glance at the struggling sack, and then glanced back at Marco. "Where, how, and can she breathe?"

He raised a finger and opened his mouth but then a confused expression crossed his face. No words came out of his mouth and then he adopted the thinker pose. "Hm, I don't know, I don't know, and," he nervously glanced over his shoulder. They'd been walking for a little over twelve minutes, "I don't think she needs to breathe. I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure how I accomplished all of this."

She nodded slowly. Despite being nationally famous, his online presence was almost entirely managed by Jackie. There was no paper trail for her to follow that didn't originate from either her or her partner. His private life was, for all intents and purposes, a ghost to them unless he wanted them to know, a fact that worried and haunted her whenever she thought too deeply about it. Whenever she did reach that conclusion she deflected. "Okay then. How's Star? No trouble? No declarations of undying love?"

He looked at her askance. This would be the fifth time she'd had their conversations arrive where it did and she had no doubt he noticed. "No, why?"

She turned to him and gave him a flat look. "She turned Ms. Skullnick into a troll."

He laughed nervously and scratched his head. He was embarrassed for Star, as if he knew something like this was going to happen, and she didn't know why. "I handled it."

She squinted at him. He solved the problem by giving said teacher suspiciously specific factoids about trolls. How or why he had those facts on hand was still a mystery. "By convincing her being turned into a troll was the best thing to happen to her."

"Star couldn't turn her back." He shrugged and gave her a weak smile. The kind of weak smile one gave when one wanted to be polite and warn someone off a minefield without making it too obvious. "And it was."

She creased her eyes, pursed her lips, and focused ahead. They were right in front Jackie's house with the sounds of skating audible from the backyard. "Right. Okay then. Not like we can do much about it." She gave him an focused glare. "Can we do anything about it?"

He quickened his pace until his voice was just barely within earshot. "Not yet."

"Yet?" She ran up to him only to trip on his outstretched foot. She felt another hand stabilize her just in time for her to land in full view of Jackie and Star.

She gave her most confident smile just as Marco rounded the corner. "Hey Jackie, Star. Look what landed at Marco's doorstep."

She had to admit that the Bounce Lounge was an amazing place. The music had a tone to it that she probably shouldn't be hearing with her human ears, the strobing lights tasted like strawberries and lemon, and there were humanoids jamming to the beat that she really wanted to meet. She'd met one of them and was having the time of her life. Alas, Pony Head was hurtling towards Jackie at breakneck speeds while she was leaning precariously over the edge of the dance floor and thus she needed to act.

She knocked her off course with a fisted slap that she was able to disguise as a dance move. The harpy boy she was dancing with was completely oblivious to the action which she found adorable and convenient. Princess floating head ate cloud a foot behind from where Jackie was. Her friend was also conveniently oblivious as she walked up and pulled the princess off of the floor. "Unicorn Head."

She glared at her as she spat out cotton candy-like cloud. "Pony Head, earthturd."

She hummed at the comment as she flicked through her camera's feeds on her phone. Feed six had the video she wanted of Pony Head glaring and then rushing Jackie. "Pony Head. What were you doing?"

She balked before feigning an innocent expression. "You saw that? Me and whatshername were just playing, haha."

She edited the video into an incriminating loop and flipped her phone over to show Pony Head. "I don't know. It looks more like you trying to push her off the Bounce Lounge."

Pony Head watched the feed with growing nervousness. She was sweating all over despite the temperature or her lack of pores. "Where'd you get that?"

She gave a smug smile as she waved the phone tantalizingly close to the princess' face. "Who knows?"

"Give me that!" She snatched the phone right off her hand with her teeth, threw it up in the air, and blasted it with her horn. At least she confirmed unicorns could cast magic. "Haha, you got nothing on me!"

By the time Pony Head had finished celebrating, a taser and another phone found its way into her hands. The autosync had done its job and the look on the princess' face when she realized there was another phone was priceless. "You have no idea about earth technology, do you?"

Pony Head tried to repeat her performance only to find the grip on the second phone was much harder to overcome. "Give me that or-"

She tagged her with the business end of her taser, let the phone go, and watched the pony flail around once she activated the charge. She would have preferred not to use such a high voltage but she wasn't sure if a lower voltage would work on floating unicorn heads. The phone survived the sudden power surge, at least. "Oh, high voltage electricity works on flying unicorns. Good to know."

Pony Head quickly recovered and floated up just as she picked up her phone. The good thing about being a magical creature was that you didn't have to worry about some of the common side effects mere mortals had to contend with like bladder control. Or preexisting conditions. Or lawsuits. "Ugh, what was that?"

By the time Pony Head had recovered, she had moved to her partner's side and assuaged her. Pony Head could match their speed moving lazily and some earlier experimentation showed she could keep up with barely any sign of exertion. Flying was faster than walking and she didn't want to gamble on her ability to guess the top speed of a flying bodiless unicorn.

Star dragged the three of them to a photo booth to her relief and confusion. The elements of most nightclubs were invented by the 1920's but photo booths, particularly small ones which produced colored photos, were created much later in the 1970's. The robot DJ's made things worse but the possibility for them to be costumes existed. It was all anachronistic and frustrating to plan around but convenient for the situation at hand. She convinced Star to leave Pony behind first while they took their pictures, allowing her and Pony Head to talk in relative privacy.

They didn't, of course. There was mostly glaring and smugging and she was winning all throughout. After two minutes the booth produced its photo strip and Pony Head rushed in just as she moved to grab the photo.

She didn't give chase. She looked at the photo to scan its contents. Jackie seemed happy at the last photo which meant she reached either a breakthrough or an epiphany. A shadow loomed over her and as she turned she noticed it was studying Star and Jackie's photos.

People who look at a stranger's belongings so blatantly tended to be either terrible or busybodies. Both were best avoided but the former first driven away and then avoided. Especially when they rang alarm bells in one's head just by existing. Instinctively she chose to impersonate a ditz to annoy them away. "Oh, hello, you look like you're looking for something. Mind if I help?"

He glanced around, likely looking for his colleagues. She scanned her phone looking for potential pursuers in turn when he held out a wanted poster, "Have you seen this person?"

She glanced at the poster and held back a groan. Masked and uniformed bozos reminiscent of non-public police were chasing Pony Head. She wished she could say that was a surprise. "Nope. Why you looking for her?"

The guard stowed the poster underneath its coat. The fabric was unnaturally stiff, as if made of something other than cloth, and the wrinkling of the paper seemed off as well. "She attacked a prince."

She nodded as she finally placed a finger on the source of the uncanniness: the entire guard was unnaturally stiff. There were a few bobs and sways but even those felt more like the rhythmic whirring and beating of machines. "Yeah, that sounds bad. Anything I could do to help?"

The guard gazed at her with unflinching, unblinking intensity and cold, unfeeling steel in its voice. In the background, Star exited the photo booth. "You could keep an eye out for her and inform us if you saw her."

Definitely robot androids. She'd err away from sci fi in the fantasy setting but since there were already potentially robotic DJ's she might as well put every possibility on the table. "Sounds good." She tossed out her phone at the guard, who caught it handily, "Here, take this."

The guard looked at the device as if it was some sort of ancient treasure because the robot should definitely be confused by a cellphone. Most of the functions had been gutted but still usable. "What is this?"

She rolled her eyes but maintained her oblivious grin and expression, "A device from my dimension. Lets me talk to you from far away but I'm not sure if it works across dimensions."

The guard slowly nodded before placing the phone in its coat. The act was strangely difficult, as if the guard was attempting to plug a square peg in a round hole half its size. After 16 uncomfortable seconds the phone was no longer visible and the guard either uncaring or oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation. "Thank you for your help."

Her smile faltered and she glanced at the photo booth, masking the latter action by pretending to scan the dance floor. She then pointed to another cloud, "No problem. Uh, I've danced all over this place and haven't seen her here. Try checking that place."

The guard bowed in thanks a tad too low for it to be natural and a little too fast to be polite. "Thank you once again."

She flipped him around just as Jackie and Pony Head left the photo booth and pushed him away. "It's the least I can do. Wish you luck!"

She pushed him a bit too far and he fell into the spike pit. There wasn't any screaming and she was 90% sure it was a robot so it evened out. There were no witnesses even if she was wrong.

"Who cares? Let's party! Whoo!" She ran up to her friends and tackled Pony Head away from the rest. She noticed a relatively isolated area and began spinning the disembodied princess around.

The moment she stopped, Pony Head started yelling at her. No one noticed but that might have been because everyone was either deaf from exposure to the music or took too much punch. "Argh! You earthturds are-"

She pulled her close and spoke into her ear. She'd have whispered but she would have needed to be in her ear to audible above the noise. "There are a bunch of people looking for you."

Pony Head's eyes widened and spat out her dimensional scissors. "Oh shoot. We've got to leave."

She attempted to wriggle free but was held to the spot by her mane. "They said you stabbed a prince."

The princess answered in mumbles, remembered to swallow her scissors, and then replied. "Stab? I blew him up good. He had it coming though."

She mulled the reply and let her go. She didn't deny blowing said prince up which also showed at least some measure of competence at not using the vastly more traceable method of stabbing someone with a body part. She was annoying and overprotective like crazy and prone to bouts of inanity but given her nature and her tone, it was either something done to her or Star. "What'd he do?"

Pony Head humphed indignantly. Her tone of reply dripped with disgust and annoyance. "He was Star's ex and wouldn't leave her alone! Also he called me dumb and annoying and fat."

She squinted her eyes at her. Both her assumptions were right which turned out to be more frustrating than comforting than she expected. "So you blew him up?"

"Yeah. Why?"

She gave the flying unicorn head a disbelieving and strained smile before waving her off, "Just go get Star and Jackie."

The Scum Bucket was terribly named but very popular. So popular that one could move to a secluded corner where the speakers didn't erase one's voice and not stick out a sore thumb. A few people were already there and were doing what other people expected she and her partner would do in a dark, secluded corner of a nightclub. This only added to spycraft feel, in her opinion. Not that sterile, emotionless stuff people seem to believe actual spy work was nowadays.

They moved to a couple that was far too into it to pay attention and stopped her partner just when he was about to get frisky with five words, "So, Sharkboy, owner or son?"

He flinched, eyes hardening with a guarded look on his face. He looked away. "Son. How'd you know?"

She took hold of his chin and positioned his eyes to face hers. "You're not the first shark I've worked with nor the first pup."

His eyes scanned his surroundings before locking on to hers again. His face looked hopeful, if cautious. "I see."

She pulled him in closer until their noses were practically touching. "And you're not the first pup I've met who's wanted out."

His eyes widened then softened. "I see."

She turned away to face nothing in particular. A power move meant to show her casualness around the whole affair. He was desperate and she knew it. "How about you help me and I help you?"

"You're rather confident. I know all the big players but I've never seen or heard of you." The tone of his voice and the frustration in his eyes said all she needed to hear. He knew all the big players for a reason and he didn't have a good opinion of them as a result.

She turned back to him, cocky grin on her face. She noticed one of the nearby couples had finished but hadn't made to leave. "New in town. First time dimension hopping."

He slumped slightly and clenched his fist. "Ah, then I doubt you could help me."

Her grin grew into a cheshire smile. "But a favor is still a favor, don't you think? You might be surprised what I'm asking for and what I'm offering. Why don't you try asking?"

The sharkboy eyed her warily. "What is it that you want then?"

She crossed her arms and looked away. Indifference could be both offensive and defensive and she did not want to disclose how much this information meant to her personally. She was also desperate and she didn't want him to know it. "Information on one Princess Pony Head."

A look of confusion crossed the sharkboy's face, briefly followed by joy, and punctuated by cautious resolve, "That? Everyone knows it."

She nodded. Despite their personality types, a remarkably low number of people had approached the princesses and everyone knowing it would explain why. "Obviously, but I'm playing entourage for her and she's insistent on shouting whenever anything close to the topic is brought up."

He nodded in turn, joyful smile giving way to pensive stare. Janna hummed. He was a bit too open and obvious with his emotions. She'll need to work on that or he'd never succeed in the intel gathering business. Cold with spots of hot or hot with spots of cold though? His behavior leaned her towards the latter. "She does seem the type, yes. Why are you with her though?"

She heard a slight gasp at her answer and it didn't come from her client. She grabbed her phone to mark and record their appearances. "Star Butterfly is with us too and my friend's her caretaker. I just got dragged along."

The sharkboy gasped and expressed his surprise loudly. "The princess of the Butterfly Kingdom?"

She discreetly checked the other couples with a confident smirk. A few stirred but apart from the pair that finished earlier, none visibly paid them any attention. The first couple's obviousness screamed amateur so she doubted they were sharkboy's father's agents. "Yep."

Sharkboy glanced over his shoulder at the dance floor and cast her a contemplative glance. "I see. How old are you again? Who is your patron?"

"14. Average lifespan is 80. Puberty hits at around 12. And me and my crew are our own patrons." She glanced to his side and met the eye of the only one of the couples who reacted very slightly at her reply. She gave a callous smile.

He didn't notice the couple's nervous reaction. He instead stared at her with awe. "So young. You are more connected than I thought. Very well, I will answer your questions pertaining to the princess of the Cloud Kingdom. Expect to meet me soon, however."

She tossed a phone at him, this one modified to have only the link to her feed readily accessible. She'll have to swap her current cameras with her good ones, the ones not designed to fail in a day or two, but she'll have her first interdimensional contact. Nightclubs and the like were amazing for information gathering. He fumbled with the controls before looking at her with incredulous eyes. "Go for it. Name's Janna."

She stretched out her hand and he reciprocated along with a handsome smile. "Siren."

She spotted the guards shortly after signing the contract with Siren. They were at the fringes of the dance floor, on the opposite side from Jackie and the others. The guard she pushed into the spike pit was unscratched lending credence to her robot android theory. She thus walked up to them waving her hand like an idiot and with a huge, oblivious grin on her face, "It's me again! Hey!"

The eyes behind the three mask squinted. It seemed her previous mark had had time to speak to his friends. "You tricked us!"

She shrugged and waved them off. The dancers around them actively avoided the guards but they were partygoers in a nightclub so that was not unusual. The distance was concerning though. There was trusting, cautious, and distrustful treatment of law enforcement and then there was acting as if they were radioactive biohazards. The latter tended to occur for good reason. "Yes, yes, didn't have the full story at the time. Still don't. I have a juicy piece of information you'd love to have but for that I want to trade."

The guards turned to one another in silent conversation before nodding in a show of unity. There were no subtle movements to provide any sort of clue as to their thought processes. "What kind of information?"

She turned around and tilted her head ever so slightly in a thinking pose before sticking her hand up in a thumbs up. "The kind that will help you capture Pony Head guaranteed."

A glance over her shoulder showed their mask's eyeholes widened which worked in cartoons and anime but not in real life unless you were a robot. "What information do you want?"

She turned around with a sleazy smile on her face. The guards reacted with suspicion suggesting incredible AI technology assuming they were robots. "The rest of the story."

The three guards looked at one another before replying. She noticed the other revelers inch closer ever so slightly in pursuit of juicy gossip. "What do you want to know?"

She took a step back and beckoned the guards toward her, eyeing the crowd dangerously. "Who was the prince?"

The guard she had pushed tilted it's head in imitation of her earlier before straightening in understanding. "Prince? Prince Tom Lucitor."

She recalled Jackie talk about 'demon ex-boyfriend Tom.' Star had said he had a bit of a temper and Lucitor sounded like a sufficiently occult name. The guard's story seemed reasonable given the princess' personality but Pony Head's story strangely fit in the guard's story perfectly as well with only minor contradictions. "Mm hm. Why exactly did she blow him up?"

The guard did the equivalent of raise its eyebrow and looked at its companions who shook their heads. "Blow him up? They had an argument and I was told it came to blows."

She glared at the crowd again to keep them away before motioning for the guards to lower their voices. She then looked at them blankly before breaking into a grin. "She doesn't have arms."

The guard stared blankly back before groaning. The groans spread to the other two guards who promptly buried their heads in their hands. It was amazing how advanced the robots were to emulate the reaction to terrible puns. "She blasted him with her horn."

That was also consistent with Pony Head's personality and explanation. She nodded and nodded before stopping, "Why?"

The guard grumbled as he looked at his wrist despite having no watch. "They had an argument about a friend of hers."

She leaned in while once more eyeing the crowd. The partygoers instinctively reeled back and she smiled further as she focused on the guard. "Which friend of hers?"

The guard pushed her away and took a step back. "Star something? All I am sure of is that she was also a princess."

The lights briefly flickered off leaving only the bright red glow of the three guards. Almost like robots. The lights returned only for her to have moved into the ranks of the guards without anyone noticing. "What was the argument about?"

The crowd and robots took a fraction of a second to process her presence before taking a step back if they could. The only ones that didn't were herself and the robot she was now leaning on. Said robot carefully moved her arm away before moving far behind one of the other guards. Its skin was either metallic or very close to metallic given its hardness, firmness, and smell. Steel, not the brass she had been expecting as well. More modern than steampunk then. "She had threatened him to stop trying to reconcile with her. Their union would have united two kingdoms together! Unreasonable, no?"

Her annoyance grew in direct proportion to the widening of her smile. The crowd took a step back. The guards did not. "What's St. Olga's School like?"

The three guards, upon hearing the question, moved to formation as they suddenly heard folksy gramophone music playing from somewhere behind them. The music drowned it out but from what little she could hear, that was a mercy. "Saint Olga's is the foremost reform school for troubled princesses in all of the dimensions. Miss Heinous houses, trains, and reeducates them for life as the nobility that they are."

She turned just as her smile faltered. They were talking about a reform school that reeducated princesses, guarded by a robot military, and run by a woman named Miss Heinous. "Right. Okay, thanks for the talk. I'll call you if something comes up. Don't call me, I'll call you. Bye!"

A voice called out just as she started walking away. "Wait! The info-"

The guard speaking was pulled back by the head guard she had been speaking to while she disappeared into the crowd. "Leave her. She obviously knows nothing."

The three moved in the general direction of opposite where she was going; which was outside, incidentally. She noticed Jackie and Pony Head in the crowd, both with respectful gazes towards one another while Star continued to surf the crowd. "Freaking loonies."

The Cloud Kingdom was beautiful, otherwordly, and downright dumb to her human sensibilities, as you would imagine from an empire built on the clouds populated by mostly but flying disembodied animal heads. The entire place, all of it, was about as human friendly as the bottom of the ocean. Most doors were above ground and ranged from much smaller than a human door to fist-sized to accommodate its smaller, airborne citizens with the occasional surface level open window. The only reason she even called them doors was because they had knobs as otherwise they'd be windows made of stone instead. Market stalls were often unusually high up from the ground, there were no street signs anywhere, and there were birds flying around and making a mess everywhere with only the most frequented areas being free of them and their byproducts. Much of the city was built on the premise that most of the people visiting could fly, though given that it was a kingdom in the clouds that wasn't unreasonable. The only exception was the palace, the only place one would expect regular visits from non-flying travelers and diplomats, and incidentally, Princess Pony Head's home.

They were going to go in there later and steal her dad's dimensional scissors.

Her assessment of the situation could be shown by the phone right next to her ear and mouth and the call to the guards.

She dialed the number five times, each time ringing until the call ended by itself until it was picked up. She could hear grumbling in the background of the call. "Hey again."

The guard on the other line sighed audibly. "Right. You."

She hummed as she moved the cameras she had set earlier around the palace. She had to realign the sightlines of the cameras since she now had to monitor for local guards in addition to the ones from St. Olga's. Hitting both with her now limited supply of cameras required higher vantage points which required objects and tools not common in societies of flying animal heads. "Mm hm. She's going to head to the castle to steal her dad's dimensional scissors."

A long silence followed before the guard answered, "Who are you and how do you know all this?"

She gave an audible sigh and then gave an ambivalent huff. "The trip was fun and all but it's clear she's taking this way too far."

The guard yelled into the phone. She had kept the phone a fair distance away from her ear since the call went through so the impact wasn't as bad. "Where are you now?"

She waited until the outburst ended before speaking, "Return to the palace via the south entrance, near," she pinched her nose and exhaled deeply. Given the lack of street signs, she'd resorted to asking around for street names. Results were inconsistent but a few did pop up more than others though it reeked of being imagined by a kingdom ruled by unicorn heads. "Stratosunshine street. She won't notice if you pass through there. You might want to ask around a few times."

She ended the call before the reply could be given and set the phone to silent. She finished moving the cameras and reviewed the palace layout as best as she could from the outside. She plotted possible escape routes and, once satisfied, returned to her group, "Okay guys, I've moved the cameras to surround the perimeter of the palace. I don't have enough cameras for everywhere but we should be good."

The three nodded, Jackie more mechanical than usual, and then returned their attentions to a crude map layout on the cloud floor. "Okay, let's run through the plan one more time: me and Star blast the door down and run our way to the Royal Armory where we keep all our royal weapons and tools. Earthturd and Jackie look for it while we beat my dad when he shows up to stop us. When they find it they run to us and we escape to freedom! Boom! Brilliant, no?"

Star gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up. "Sounds like a plan."

Jackie nodded like a drinking bird toy. "I am willing to put in the effort."

She cracked her knuckles, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She hated being the voice of reason. "That sounds like a terrible plan. There are guards everywhere and I have a feeling they won't take your side over your father's." She drew circles around their crude map where she had last seen guards patrolling, "How many guards are there and are we enough to take them all down? Two, if we go in through the front door your father will know we're coming and might figure out why we're there and leave with the scissors so do we have a plan to stop that from happening? Three, what do we do if and when we succeed? I don't think your dad will be happy with you stealing the royal dimensional scissors to get out of trouble and I have a feeling that displeasure would extend to all four of us. Fourth and most importantly, do we really need to steal your father's scissors? We could-"

Pony Head smashed into her face and shushed her down, repeating until she stopped trying to interject, "Details, shmetails. It'll work. Trust me," she flew up, pointed towards the palace, and loudly and unsubtly declared her intent, "Okay girls, let's do this."

It didn't, she shouldn't have, and they shouldn't have. To be fair, she had actively sabotaged their attempt. On the other hand, it would have failed even if she hadn't.

The palace was surrounded by a cloud wall with a golden gate. Pony Head told them not to use the mechanical pony-shaped speaker post. They jumped the palace gate and ran up to the front door. She had been tasked to monitor for outside reinforcements which she was doing while also feeding information to the guards inside, 'We're coming up to the front door. Put up a little resistance.'

The furniture and fixtures in the main hallway seemed to have a humanoid preference with paintings, desks, and statuary at human-height which could be useful in case of a fight. A few guards, most ground bound, met them at the entrance and were put down with very little difficulty in a flurry of blasts, punches, and kicks. She didn't even have to put down her phone in the melee except that one time Pony Head led them towards a dead end. 'We're heading up. It seems like Pony Head's unsure of where to go. We're heading towards the armory.'

A ring caught her attention to a message sent to her, 'Lead her to the north wing. We'll trap her there.' Leave it to robots to figure out new technology. Setting aside the fact that the St. Olga guards were as trustworthy as a back alley organ salesman, she had no idea what was in the north wing, accepting would diminish her bargaining position later on in the negotiation, and would be a clear path to ruining any budding friendship she had with the princesses since it would show a clear preference for the guards over them.

She casually typed her reply as they reached their target floor, 'No. We do this my way. Play along.'

Resistance was much larger in the hallway before the armory than at the entrance. Aside from the royal guards, six goons from St. Olga's were waiting for them with various weapons and tools. The latter were dispatched faster than the former given that most of the royal guards had the distinct advantage of being able to fly. Given the room's human-conscious layout, that advantage was mitigated immensely but they put up enough of a fight that she actually had to punch one of them in the face. She understood a bit why Marco did what he did then.

She kicked over each of the St. Olga guards while the others forged on ahead. She sent a text which did not prompt a ringtone from any of the beaten guards. Seems her old buddy wasn't in the fray. 'We could have done this the easy way.'

She walked past two immense doors into a massive room piled high with weapons and gold. At its center were the dimensional scissors they were after resting on a royal purple pillow as if waiting for them, like a trap. A string ran through the pillow's bottom, bending at a fastener and extended into the wall surrounding the doors. If she had to hazard a guess, taking the scissors would prompt the doors to stay shut until opened from the outside, though the string seemed fragile enough to cut. She had time to examine the walls and possibly disarm the trap without setting it off so long as no one did anything to trigger it.

Pony Head grabbed the scissors from the pedestal before anyone could react, causing the doors to slam shut and an alarm to begin blaring. The two princesses panicked and started punching the walls with no small amount of screaming.

"Stop, don't, come back," she said as she watched Pony Head charge towards the door with her horn at around 30 miles an hour, a fact she quietly filed away. 30 miles per hour was the top speed of faster horses and, given the situation, was probably her top speed as well.

Pony Head found her horn embedded into left side door. She blinked owlishly at her situation before complainign, "Oof, what's happening?"

Star aimed her wand at the door to no avail. She shook her wand and chanted a few times to similar effect, "My magic is gone!"

"Excuse me," Jackie grabbed the scissors from Pony Head's tongue and attempted to rip a tear through space-time but ended up cutting only thin air, "This is not ideal."

After a minute of struggling to escape, the door creaked open to reveal a floating, giant, blue-maned unicorn head that dwarfed Princess Pony Head nearly dozenfold wearing a tiny crown. As he entered, a flood of guards, both Cloud Kingdom royal guards and St. Olga's guards, came rushing in. Pony Head and Star froze at his entrance and trembled when he turned towards them, "Hello again, Lilacia Pony Head."

At his glance, Star and Pony Head surrendered, the former dropping her wand in the process. He turned towards until he turned towards Pony Head who sheepishly and nervously grinned, "Hi, daddy."

She seesawed between the father and daughter. Despite the size, color, and personality, she could see the resemblance, "Huh."

Pony Head's room was surprisingly similar to a human bedroom's in terms of layout. There was a cloud bed, a nightstand, a closet, and teenage paraphernalia. She doubted much of the other populace could even fit most of the products, let alone afford them. It seemed a humanoid aesthetic was culturally dominant even in magical dimensions and given how useful magical products and tools were, assuming they worked when needed, there was a clear route for trade and exchange between Earth and Mewni.

...She blamed Marco for turning her to politics. She was so much happier when she was simply the shadowy puppetmaster-slash-information-broker that controlled the criminal scene.

She was currently bound by a chain attached to her leg and anchored to a leg of Pony Head's bed. All of them were which was weird because Pony Head could very easily slip out of her restraints. The fact she hadn't was either due to fear of her father or sheer obliviousness.

The door opened, revealing Pony Head's father, or King Pony Head as she later clarified. Escaping her restraints was trivial given how primitive the lock was in the world with functional fantasy laptops that she needed to make a mental reminder for during trade negotiations. The casual stride towards King Pony Head easily made up for the whole trip simply from the sheer incredulity of his expression.

He asked her how she got out and she showed him her phone's screen, "Not important. You need to see this."

The king's eyes scanned the screen with confusion. On the display was a mess of numbers, pictures, and estimates for various economic sectors in Echo Creek. His eyes stopped on the bottom right in particular, for agricultural data on crops such as corn, wheat, and potatoes. At the bottom, it read 'Saint Olga's is shady. Keep an eye on your daughter.' The king was about to comment until she used a voice trick she had learned that reduced the audible range outside the specific direction she desired, "Hey, big man. Keep it down. Glad to see you got my texts though."

The king's eyes widened further, "That was you?"

She watched her friends from the corner of her eye. They were confused but otherwise ignorant of the conversation she was having with Pony Head's father. "Mm hm, now, would you be interested in a trade agreement with Echo Creek?"

King Pony Head's eyes snapped from the phone to her. She could see the gears turning in his head and she smiled as he took one last glance at the report. She wasn't the only one who saw that as well, with the main Saint Olga's guard furiously fiddling with the phone she gave him, "What? Ho, hm, I see. Is all of this true?"

She nodded. She had been worried about possible trade goods but it seems she had overprepared instead. He seemed interested in nearly everything she had shown, though assuming what she knew about fantasy economics he was more interested in the production volume than the quality of the goods. Also, it would have been funny to imagine a flying unicorn head try to drive a luxury car with its teeth.

He nodded and turned to his daughter though his eyes wandered to the phone every once in a while, "Very well. I suppose I can be lenient just this once."

She whispered in his ear as he floated past her, "Ask those cronies for the phone. We'll talk later."

Not so bad for an impromptu plan if she thought so herself.

Marco was heavy but not so heavy that she couldn't lug him around. That said more about her than it did him. Muscle was heavier than fat and good chest plates were not light by any measure. He was cumbersome but he would wake up before she tired out. She had stamina in spades what with all the long hours she worked and the constant running, literal and figurative, she did. She did a lot of it considering how much trouble Jackie and Marco got themselves caught in.

Marco had punched Pony Head out. Again. The worst part is she didn't doubt Pony Head would try again the next time the two met which would inevitably lead to the same outcome. The princess even said as much as they sent her off. It was fortunate that she had knocked him out prior to that.

Star leaned over as she led Jackie down the hall. It took almost no convincing to get her to go along with her plan. She had sensed a brewing relationship between her best earth friend and her best guy friend and wanted to do her part to hook them. She wasn't sure if that was related to her wanting to learn how to knock Marco out, "How did you do that?"

She gave the most nonchalant, innocent tone she could muster. She shrugged and turned to Marco with a cheeky grin, "How'd I do what?"

"Knock Marco out!"

"Oh, it's a thing I found out a few years back. If you say the right words with the right intonation, he passes out like a baby. Don't know where he got that from. I've tried to fix it but without knowing the amplifiers I can't really undo it."

"Will you tell me the words?"

"Will you use it responsibly?"

She tried to answer but cut herself off. She then turned towards Jackie and held her hand, "Huh. Jackie, come along."

"Okay, Star."

"I'm sad to see Pony go. Hopefully St. O's doesn't change her too much."

"I'm sure it won't." Largely because her welfare would be part of the concessions she'd oversee. She'd saved a camera just in case and had it attached to her favorite robot after she had her phone given to King Pony Head. She'd need to travel to St. Olga's directly to collect the video files but recent events had made that part of the task even easier than she had planned.

Pony Head was the epitome of good to her friends and terrible to her enemies. Though the princess had an annoyingly broad of definition of enemy, to everyone's frustration.

Star relaxed, though some still remained stiff and concerned, "I hope you're right."

The two stopped at a secluded and empty corridor. In any other night club the place would have been packed with couples but the Penguin Club's stance dissuaded people from doing so. Passing janitors in cartoonish penguin suits tended to break moods between couples for some reason, "Anyway, here we go. Just plop her beside Marco and we'll watch the fireworks." She placed Marco down while Star ordered Jackie to sit next to him. She asked Star to place a camera on the opposite wall while she placed a small shock buzzer on Marco's hand. She then leaned Marco on to Jackie's shoulder, "There. That'll wake him up when we want him to and where we want him to."

She grabbed Star's hand after she finished and led her into the main security control room. She connected her phone to one of the monitor and swapped the feeds. She steepled her fingers and rested her chin on her hands as she waited for the fireworks to start. Star followed suit.

After five minutes of waiting, Star stretched her arms and turned to Janna, "So now what?"

Just as Star spoke Jackie blinked wakingly and dropped the scissors in her hands. She pushed Star's face back towards the screen, "Ssh, she's stirring."

Jackie shook her head and looked at her hand, "Where am I? And why are my hands slimy?"

She grabbed a switch from her pocket and pressed it. On the monitor, Marco bolted up, nearly unbalancing Jackie, before flicking the buzzer off his hand, "Damnit, Janna."

Jackie caught herself with one hand and wiped her hand off the other. Once it was sufficiently clean, she waved to their partner, "Oh, uh, hey Marco."

He got up and dusted himself off, "Hey Jackie. Pony Head gone?"

She looked around to find herself alone with Marco. She grabbed the scissors, wiped it off her shirt, and then stood up. Her phone buzzed afterwards and she glanced at the message she had sent her. "She is. Figures."

Marco chuckled as he eyed the camera on the wall before turning to Jackie, "How's Star treating you?"

Jackie's gaze followed his to the wall and she frowned. She sighed but smiled weakly back at their partner, "She's okay. A bit of a handful but she's fun."

Marco beamed back, "Yeah, but living with her is an adventure, isn't it?"

Jackie's smile faltered for a second, something she doubted Marco had missed. Still, her smile was beatific when she answered, "I already have enough adventures with you and Janna," she looked away and returned with a content, if weaker smile, "But yeah, she's a great girl. I have no doubt she'll be a great princess."

Marco looked at Jackie worriedly, turned away, and then swallowed deeply. He replied with an embarrassed expression on his face and an outstretched hand, "Well, while we're here, let's take a break. I was talking to Mister Shapiro about a friend of his who manufactures net guns for the last two hours. Sat down the whole times. I could use something to get my blood flowing again. Care to accompany me on the dance floor?"

Jackie blinked owlishly before taking his hand, "Sure."

Star turned to her with glitter and stars in her eyes, practically giddy with excitement. She had not expected Marco to make the first move, "Oh my gosh! So Marco likes Jackie back then?"

Janna smile disappeared before turning back to the feed. Marco led Jackie to the dance floor with an ecstatic expression on Jackie's face. Marco looked happy and content but... "I'm not so sure."

So you might be wondering why Janna has concise records of Echo Creek's gross domestic output on her cellphone. That is an excellent question that should be explained.

Thanks for reading!