A/N: So, let me start with: I know nothing about how this season will end which means what I'm writing here is not based on spoilers. I have basically posed a lot of what ifs based on what's happened in season 2 thus far and decided to do something with them. For example: what if Lucy/Wyatt/Jessica is as painful as it possibly can be? How would Wyatt and Lucy recover? What if the love triangle is resolved at the very last second of the very last episode? What would that mean? Well, honestly, that would mean Wyatt would have a lot to make up for. A lot to prove. A lot of ground to regain. That would also mean Wyatt would have no more hesitance about what he felt for Lucy. He'd be completely and openly in love with her. He'd have to fight for Lucy and he'd be much more than willing to do so. In asking myself these what ifs, I came up with this fic idea.

In order to write it, I had to vaguely and quickly imagine ways S2 could end. Again, though, not based on spoilers. Just inferred from what we've seen so far. I'm probably going to be way wrong but I needed to write this fic for therapy reasons. So, yeah, just wanted to make that clear for those of you living the spoiler free life. You have nothing to fear here. ;)

All In

By Angellwings

Would there ever be a time when Wyatt Logan didn't have regrets?

He seemed to always make five wrong decisions before finding the right one. Getting that text from Jessica and running out on Lucy was the first wrong decision. Letting Lucy push him away was the second. Not realizing immediately that he and Jessica would never really make eachother happy was the third. Deciding that if Lucy didn't want him then he should try with Jess was the fourth. Letting Lucy believe she was less of a priority than Jessica was the final and fifth regret. That final regret really encompassed the previous four and culminated in a set back of trust that felt suffocating.

He'd figured it out, in the end. After watching Lucy from afar and only having the most minimal of professional interactions with her, he'd realized he couldn't do minimal and professional. Not with Lucy. He'd realized that Lucy made him want to be better. Lucy was the reason he wasn't still that jealous and angry asshole who'd pushed Jessica away. He smiled brighter with her, laughed more. Even when things were tense and dangerous and he feared he wasn't up for the job she somehow soothed him. She left him feeling simultaneously in control and out of it. He thought more clearly and felt more deeply around her than anyone else.

He wouldn't and, truly, couldn't live without her. It was why even when he got Jess back, like he thought he wanted, Lucy plagued his every thought. He tried to not think about her, to not want her, to not miss their closeness. But goddammit he couldn't.

When he and Lucy were their furthest apart, when the wall between them was the thickest it had ever been, he felt himself coming unglued. He woke up in the middle of the night with memories of 1941 and the ghost of her touch. And if he did manage to sleep, in the mornings he'd ache to have her in his arms with her hands running through his hair. Everything about 1941 haunted him. Every moment of every day, even while willing himself to try with Jessica.

His mind kept whispering, you almost had it all, you could have that right now, you came so close to perfect.

You could have had her.

He remembered they'd been so happy to have each other. The joy and warmth had been clear on her face. They laughed and flirted and teased and he even heard her giggle. Lucy Preston's giggle was committed to memory. It was rare and beautiful and he realized much too late that he'd give everything in him to hear it again.

He had loved Jessica, a part of him always would. But with Lucy...he didn't just love her.

She owned him. Every part of him belonged to her.

He should have seen that sooner. But she claimed him so gradually and so quietly that he hadn't even noticed until there was a rift between them at least as big as The Grand Canyon. He felt that ownership then. He felt it in every bone in his body.

He knew then that none of this was fair to Jessica. Trying with her while Lucy was ever present in his life, even while being more emotionally distant than she'd ever been, was worse than failing to fix things. It was more hurtful to Jessica than anything he'd done before.

Once he realized how deeply Lucy had embedded herself in his heart, he couldn't bring himself to keep it from Jessica.

It had been a difficult conversation but a necessary one. Jessica had seemed sad and disappointed but not devastated. Mostly she seemed relieved.

She had given him a half hearted smile and shrugged. "We both had one foot out the door long before now. It's never the way anyone wants these things to end, but sometimes," she said with resigned sigh. "People just don't fit. I get it, Wyatt. And now we both know. We can both move on."

The words "nothing ahead but the open road" flashed across his memory before he could stop them. He'd said those exact same words to Lucy way back in 1955. That felt so long ago. And yet it didn't.

Jessica had paused and then continued with tiniest of smirks. "Good luck."

He knew that look. That was a secretive look. One she had when she knew something he didn't. He wondered what she was thinking or what reason she was wishing him luck. But he didn't ask.

He didn't ask because as soon as the conversation ended all hell broke loose.

The next several hours were exhausting and frantic and contained the full spectrum of human emotions. He never knew a person could feel so much at once until he took this assignment.

When the dust settled, Carol had chosen Lucy over Rittenhouse and made the ultimate sacrifice, taking Keynes out with her. She'd left Lucy a letter detailing what Emma had done to ensure Amy would never come back, in the hopes Lucy could find a way to correct it. He was sure there were other things in the letter but Lucy wasn't in a place where she was really willing to share that with him.

Not that he blamed her.

They'd won the battle but the war still raged. Rittenhouse was still out there and now they had Emma Whitmore as their leader, which was a terrifying thought. Despite, Keynes death she was fully invested in his "perfection everlasting" insanity and her determination to avenge her esteemed leader made her more lethal than ever.

Upon hearing that he and Jessica had made a firm decision to split, Christopher had offered to relocate Jessica and keep her hidden from Rittenhouse. Jessica had agreed and now the only person who knew how to find her was Denise Christopher. He felt relief at that. Jessica was safe. They'd resolved any lingering resentment from the years of marriage he both remembered and didn't remember. And they were moving on.

The grief and guilt and misery that he lived with for years was gone.

In its place was grief and guilt and misery regarding someone else entirely.

Lucy Preston.

After he made his decision, after he talked to Jess, while they were fighting Rittenhouse and the stakes were so high that he was convinced he would lose not just Lucy, but his entire team, he told her. In a haze of gunfire and screaming and fear he spoke his truth out loud for her (and Rufus) to hear because she had a plan but it was a suicidal plan. He could not let her take that kind of risk and still play his cards close to his chest. She needed to know that he wasn't taking her for granted anymore.

Rufus, Lucy, and himself were taking cover. Pressed shoulder to shoulder against a stone wall. Wyatt was on the the side closest to the enemy with his side arm primed and ready, Rufus was on the other side to keep a lookout for unexpected visitors, and Lucy was in the middle clutching Rufus's hand like a lifeline. She didn't dare hold his. They both knew why and even amidst the gunfire it hurt.

"I'm gonna make a run for it," Lucy told them both. "Draw Keynes out, when I do cut him off on either side. Okay?"

Rufus gave her a fearful glance which she tried to placate with a half hearted smile. Wyatt could tell it didn't work because Rufus clutched her hand tighter. "Don't die. Don't get shot."

Despite the situation Lucy chuckled and winked at him. "Remember serpentine, Rufus."

Rufus bared his teeth in a smile that almost forced the tension to fall away and laughed lightly. It was a reference to something that Wyatt didn't understand, something he'd clearly missed during his time with Jess. It emphasized the distance he knew engulfed them.

"Absolutely," Rufus replied as he squeezed her hand before finally releasing it with a fond grin. "Classic."

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. He watched in amazement as her fear was clouded over and covered with determination and frustration. "This ends here. We've been through enough."

She was fire and steel and he couldn't help but marvel at her. He couldn't let her go out there thinking…

Thinking what? That he didn't love her? Didn't need her? Didn't regret ever being without her?

A shot ricocheted off the corner of the wall he was leaning against and the reality of what could happen to her hit him. He'd respected her wish for distance all this time but here and now...how could he stay away?

She moved to rush past him but he gently wrapped a hand around her elbow and pulled her into his arms instead. She froze at the contact but he didn't let go. His hand that wasn't carefully holding his gun away from her rested on the back of her neck while his fingers softly caressed the soft skin there. He felt and heard her sharp intake of breath against him as she allowed herself to relax and wrap her arms around him. For a brief moment he felt her press her face against his shoulder. It was glorious. He almost forgot they were in the middle of a war.

God, he missed her. He saw her every goddamn day but never really got to see her. Not anymore.

"Be careful," he pleaded. "Come back to me."

In more ways than one, he thought.

"Not sure I can make that promise," she said with a nervous breath.

"You have to. None of this is worth losing you. I won't do it without you," he assured her. He wanted to kiss her but he knew that wouldn't be welcome. Hell, the hug was probably already crossing a line.

"Wyatt…" she pulled back from his embrace as her sentence trailed off. She didn't seem to have any more words because she stopped talking completely and met his eyes with a look of resignation and sadness. She didn't need to say anything else, her eyes said it all. You may have to.

Hell, no, that wasn't an option.

He shook his head at her and pressed his forehead against hers, his hand on her neck was now clutching her desperately. Grasping at her presence for as long as he could. "It's you or no one else, Lucy. It's you or no one."

He'd love her or he wouldn't love at all. He hoped that was clear. He hoped she understood. But for good measure he continued, "I love you."

Her eyes were wide and watery as she swallowed back tears and pried his hand away from her neck. He knew then the wall was back up. He broke through for a breathtaking moment, but that's all it was. A moment.

It was going to take more than three little words to win her back. He would, though. They'd get out of this alive and he would show her. He would prove it.

"I'll draw him out, you cut him off," she repeated as the steel and fire returned to her eyes.

He nodded and brought his attention back to the fight, back to getting the three of them out of there alive.

The moment Lucy disappeared around the corner Rufus caught his eye.

"You good?" He asked.

It was his way of gaging Wyatt's emotional state. He knew Rufus had seen and heard every bit of what just went down with Lucy. He didn't care. He didn't care who knew. He loved Lucy Preston and he wasn't wasting anymore time denying it.

"Not yet," Wyatt answered. "But I will be."

Once they got out of this, once they were safe, once he proved to Lucy he wasn't going anywhere…

Once he checked all those boxes, then he'd be good.

The confrontation with Keynes turned out to be more emotional than physical but it had ended with him authorizing every Rittenhouse agent in the place to assassinate Lucy Preston. Wyatt was in front of her before he even realized his feet were moving. A moment later Rufus was there too, followed shortly by Garcia Flynn. Wyatt may hate the guy, but he was grateful for his help now. They surrounded her on all sides. They'd have to kill them all to get to her and he believed wholeheartedly they would.

Lucy's hand landed on his shoulder and he turned to meet her eyes. He wished he hadn't. Her red rimmed brown eyes were pleading with him to move, to step out of the way. He shook his head and stood firm, but her hand rubbed his arm consolingly.

"Wyatt, no, please."

"Lucy, they'll—"

"They'll kill me either way, Soldier," Lucy said sadly. "I'd rather they not take out everyone I care about too."

While the four of them had been distracted and huddled together, Carol Preston had snuck up behind her grandfather with a vicious glare.

"Not my daughter, I won't let you hurt her."

Pop. Pop. Pop.

A split second later Carol was standing alone with a gun in her hand as Keynes body fell to the ground, limp and empty.

He didn't know Carol. He'd only seen her in passing. But as Keynes fell her eyes met his with a determined stare.

"Get her out of here, Master Sergeant."

The combination of her tone and his training caused his mind to process it as an order. But he knew there wasn't enough time to get out. The hired guns were already focusing their fire on Carol. Shit. He tucked Lucy into his arms and twisted them around so she wouldn't see, wouldn't get caught in the crossfire, just as a round of bullets was fired at Carol Preston.

Lucy cried out against his chest and clutched at him. She hadn't seen but she knew. She was sobbing loudly and her fisted hands were pounding weakly against him. She knew.

He had no time to soothe her now. He shared an urgent look with Flynn, they both knew the four of them were next. Flynn grabbed Rufus and shoved him toward the door while Wyatt kept Lucy tucked into his side and ran for dear life. The door of the saloon closed behind them just as shots rang out.

"We have to get out of here," Flynn yelled.

"I know," Wyatt replied. "Lifeboat, now."

"But Emma's still out there with the Mothership!" Rufus yelled.

"We stopped Keynes's plan and him," Wyatt said as he gave his friend an apologetic look. "That will have to be enough for today."

"M-my mother," Lucy stuttered out as her feet stopped moving beside of him. "We can't just leave her there."

Her voice was small and tearful. He hurt all over at the sound of it.

"We can't go back, Lucy," Wyatt said softly. "If we go back there then what she did means nothing. She chose you," Wyatt assured her in a hoarse emotional voice of his own as he brushed a stray hair out of her devastated face. He knew that was what she wanted. She'd admitted as much to him late one night before things had gone to hell. "She chose to protect to you over being loyal to Rittenhouse. She wanted you safe. She wanted me to keep you safe. She gave me an order. Let me follow it?" He asked in as gentle a voice as he could.

His hand cupped her cheek while his thumb lightly traced over the curve of her cheek bone. She closed her eyes and let a few silent tears fall before she nodded against his hand. "Okay."

They made it to the Lifeboat moments before Emma and her goons caught up with them. Gun fire bounced off the machine as it roared and spun to life. It echoed around them and Lucy flinched every time. He watched her every movement and every expression. The Time Team won but Lucy lost and he was worried. How much more could she stand to lose? What was worse than that was the knowledge that he was a part of that. He let her lose him. He let himself become someone she grieved over.

While in the past she let him comfort her even if it had been rushed, but once they were back in 2018 she shut him out again. Once they were in the silo, she all but ran away from him. Rufus followed her, leaving Flynn and himself to brief Christopher on their harrowing escape.

Carol Preston and Nicholas Keynes were dead. Rittenhouse survived.

Lucy was left mourning someone. Again.

He didn't see her for the rest of the night. He needed to do something to help her somehow. He looked at the time and realized it had been too long since any of them had eaten. He threw together something that usually comforted him and then headed to the room Lucy shared with Jiya. He knocked, and after a moment, Jiya answered the door with a half hearted smile. She opened the door further to reveal Rufus and Lucy sitting side by side on Lucy's cot. Between them sat a half empty box of Chocodiles.

"See?" Rufus said as he bumped Lucy shoulder with a smirk. "Told you they were good."

"I can't believe I'm eating this," Lucy said with a watery chuckle as she held up the half eaten snack and a smile that almost reached her eyes.

"Then how about something a little more substantial?" Wyatt asked.

Two sets of eyes looked up at him curiously. He noticed Lucy's never actually met his.

"You made us food?" She asked in surprise.

He gave her a warm smile and lifted one shoulder carelessly. "Comfort food. Grilled cheese."

He stacked four paper plates on top of eachother each with a grilled cheese sandwich. He passed them around and handed Lucy's hers last. She accepted it with a small smile and nod.

"Thanks," she told him as he sat down next to Jiya on the other cot.

"Anything for you, ma'am," he answered with a small soft smile. He caught the barest of smirks as he called her ma'am and he felt a tiny thrill of hope.

Her eyes were still wet but now they were also swollen and puffy. Her nose was a bit red. He spotted a small trash can at her feet that had more than a few tissues dropped into it. She'd been crying and Rufus and Jiya were comforting her. That used to be him comforting her. Not anymore.

"You know what we're missing?" Jiya asked suddenly as she glanced around the room. "Drinks. We're missing drinks. Rufus," she said as she stared pointedly at him. "Help me get them from the kitchen?"

Rufus looked between Lucy and Wyatt, knowing they'd see right through it, and gave them a sheepish smile. "Yeah, sure," he answered as he let Jiya pull him out of the room and down the hall.

With their mutual friends gone, all that was left was silence and sadness and regret.

After a moment, Wyatt cleared his throat and decided to speak.

"I'm sorry about your mom, Lucy," he said as he watched her face carefully. "I'm so sorry. If I could have gotten to her in time I-"

"You couldn't have, Wyatt," Lucy assured him as she swallowed back numerous emotions. He saw them all flash across her face in a split second. "She knew when she confronted Keynes that she wouldn't be making it out. No one could have gotten to her in time."

"She loved you," Wyatt told her as she finally met his eyes. Warm blue clashed with hopeless brown. He felt a pang in his chest. "I could see it in her face when she spoke to me. She loved you."

Lucy tried to smile gratefully at him but the smile quickly turned into trembling tight lips. Her brow furrowed and her eyes filled with tears. Her hands covered her face and he immediately crossed the distance to sit next to her.

"What good does that do when she's not here, Wyatt?" Lucy asked in a low aching voice. "What good does that do now?"

What she needed that night was a friend so that's what he let himself be. He tabled any thoughts of his earlier confession for another time. She needed to get through this. She needed to say goodbye to the mother she'd never really known. He needed to be there for her. She surprised him completely by letting him be there for her.

When news of a memorial service came up in an internet search two days later, Lucy wanted to go. Agent Christopher said it was too much of a risk. It could even be a trap set by Rittenhouse to find her or any of them.

She was right. Wyatt's training left him with much the same fears.

But Lucy deserved to say goodbye to her mother.

She'd lost her sister and had no one to grieve with.

He couldn't let the same thing happen with her mother.

The morning of the memorial service he woke her, asked her to get dressed, and meet him outside her room. He expected her to question him or to protest. He knew he wasn't her favorite person any more. Not anywhere close. She threw him for a loop though when she sat up and nodded sleepily. When she stepped out into the hallway he tossed her black baseball cap at her. It was the one Christopher always made her wear to visit Flynn.

Her brow furrowed at him. "What is this for?"

"Well, we can't have any Rittenhouse agents recognizing you at the service, can we?" He asked.

Her eyes widened at him and she smiled brightly before launching herself at him in a hug. Her hugs were still the same. Lucy hugged with everything she had in her. She hugged fiercely and with force. It had been so long since she hugged him like that and he wasn't prepared to catch her. He stumbled back into the wall, careful to keep her angled away, and returned her embrace.

"Don't get too excited, Professor," he said softly as he tightened his hold on her. He didn't know when he'd be this close to her again. He planned to enjoy it. "We still have to get out of this hellhole."

They did. It was almost too easy. So easy that he wondered if Agent Christopher had let them escape this time. They'd kept their distance at the service, but they were close enough for Lucy to hear every word. Stories from her mother's students and colleagues and friends. He had to admit, these people made Carol sound like a remarkable woman, a "superwoman" as Lucy had described her. Wyatt wanted to pay his respects for Lucy's sake but even given the sacrifice she made, he found himself still resentful of Carol Preston and all the pain she caused Lucy.

Then again.

Had he really been any better?

Carol battled with choosing Lucy over her past and so did he. They both made the right decision in the end but while figuring out their own shit they left Lucy scarred.

Alright, so maybe he resented the woman a little less now.

They hung back until everyone left and then approached the graveside. Wyatt stayed several paces behind and let Lucy have a moment but kept a watchful eye on their surroundings. In case Rittenhouse really was here, waiting on them.

She was talking to the headstone. He'd done that himself with Jessica, Grandpa Sherwin, his mother. It helped. He knew it did. He couldn't make out her words and he didn't want to. That was for Lucy to share with him, not for him to overhear. When she was done she ran a hand across the top of the headstone before turning to face him.

His chest ached at the sight of her tear stained face. Lucy didn't deserve to lose this much. Lucy didn't deserve to lose at all.

She wiped at her face with sleeve of her sweatshirt as they walked back to their stolen car. He didn't reach for her like he wanted, his hands stayed in his pockets. He assumed she still wanted space. She never told him otherwise. So he was determined to let her initiate any physical demonstrations of affection.

She was quiet on the drive back and on their way back into bunker. Once they reached the bottom of the ladder and their feet hit the grimy bunker floor, she hugged him again. His second Lucy Preston Hug within 24 hours.

"Thank you," Lucy said with a sniffle. "I-I needed that, today."

One hand cradled the back of her neck and his other arm was wrapped around her waist. She fit so perfectly against him and he missed her. He wanted her back. Yes, she turned to him in her grief but that didn't mean things had changed. He still had a long road ahead.

"Anything for you, Lucy," he replied softly. He had said it to her before and he planned to keep saying it until she believed it.

She pulled back from the hug and met his eyes with conflicted sigh. "Before when Keynes had us pinned down...you...you said some things."

He nodded. "I told you I love you. Yes, I remember."

He wasn't going to hedge around it. If she wanted to talk about it then he would talk about it.

She shook her head at him and then focused her gaze on the floor. "Look, it was an intense moment and we thought we might be done for so I get that you may have—"

He cut her off with a dry chuckle and a shake of his head. "No. Lucy, that wasn't what that was. Yes, the risk encouraged me to tell you in that moment. But I was going to anyway, the next minute I had the opportunity. Danger or no danger. I love you. I know that with more certainty than anything I've ever known before. I'm not asking to have that confession reasoned away."

"I told you not to let me be the reason things ended with Jessica," she said with a sigh. She still wouldn't look at him.

"All due respect, ma'am," he said as he stared intently at the top of her head.

The 'ma'am' got her attention and her eyes finally met his. He heard her suck in a breath and knew his feelings were reflected in his eyes. Though, weren't they always when it came to Lucy?

"It wasn't because of you, it was because of me. Staying with Jessica when all I could think about every hour of every day was you, wasn't fair to Jessica or myself. Jess and I had problems before she died and we still had those problems when she came back. But they were different because I was different and the only reason I wasn't whatever asshole she married in her timeline was because of you. You make me the person I want to be, you make me better. I'm choosing to be the person I am with you and not the hateful man I was with Jess. That's my choice. You're a part of that choice, Lucy. Even if you never reach a place where you can love me, it won't matter. All I want is to be near you. If that means being your friend then fine. I'd rather be alone and be your friend. It's like I said during that battle for our lives, I'll love you or I'll love no one. Those are my only options."

By the time he was done she was crying and shaking her head, with one hand pressed to her lips. She took a long moment and then finally spoke. "I don't know if I can...if I can fall like that again, Wyatt. I did it once and there was no one there to catch me. Right now, I can't risk that again. I can't."

God, he really hated himself for doing that to her. He knew she'd never been in love. They discussed it in a cabin in Arkansas in 1934. The first time she let herself fall was six years later in Hedy Lamarr's guest house with him and he ended up hurting her. The hesitance and the pain in her eyes was because of him.

"I know, Lucy. I know and I'm so goddamn sorry that I—I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. Intention doesn't change what happened though, does it?" He asked rhetorically. "I can't blame you for being careful. I screwed up. We both know it. But I'm not going anywhere. I can wait."

Even to his own ears his tone was firm and confident. It would be painful to watch her struggle with caring for him. They never struggled with that before. Caring for each other always came easily for them. But now it would be. She suffered through Jessica so he could suffer through this. It was only fair. It was only what he deserved.

"Wait for what?" Lucy asked him as she chewed her bottom lip nervously.

"For you, Lucy. I can wait for you. I can wait until I've proved to you that I'm here. I'll always catch you. I just need you to give me a chance to do that," he pleaded.

She swallowed thickly, took a deep breath, and met his eyes again with a nod. "Okay, prove to me that you're all in and...I'll think about it."

Her eyes were heartbroken yet hopeful. She didn't know if he could do it but she was willing to let him try. That was a very big step in the right direction. He knew it.

He gave her his trademark smirk and a confident nod. "Oh, I'll prove it."

The corners of her mouth turned up in the tiniest of smiles as she chuckled lightly at him. "We'll see."

There was no doubt in his mind. He would prove it. Even if it took the rest of their lives, he would prove it.