Disclaimer: I don't own The Walking Dead
Inspired by the brief scene of seeing Enid reading Carl's letter as well as Rick being unable to read his. Also the fact that Rick and Enid never had a moment together.
"Uh, Mr. Grimes? You, wanted to see me?" came the awkward question.
Enid appeared in the doorway, rubbing an arm almost nervously while not quite looking at him. Rick looked away from the window of Gregory's office and took her in. She had noticed the hard stare and figured he was staring at the prisoners in disapproval.
"The Saviors will be back," he began slowly. "I don't know if Maggie has you guarding the walls or out there fighting."
She tensed. He did not know that she had experience in killing a person.
"I am on the walls, mostly. But Maggie trusts me to fight too."
A shadow of doubt, as well as disapproval, passed over his features. She was familiar with such a look as she had received it from her own father a few times.
"If it's Maggie's call, I trust her. Just don't, take unnecessary risks."
As his hand pressed against his brow, she realized just how tired he looked. A stranger could walk across Rick and immediately know, by the lines on his face, that he had lost someone quite close. She thought it might be the universal look a parent would have after losing a child.
As her own heart started to race, she quickly shifted her attention elsewhere. She would not think of Carl now when his father was right there.
"I won't," she promised.
She couldn't place the long hard stare he was giving her now. It wasn't anything creepy. There was something almost fatherly about it. She might have been touched if she wasn't feeling so awkward.
"Good…that's, that's good." His tone was quiet as he took a step back, looking at the walls. "We can't have any more losses…especially the young."
The sudden tear she had felt in her heart upon first hearing about Carl, was back. She blinked rapidly and dropped her eyes.
"I should, probably help Maggie. Unless you needed me to, do something."
He looked at her again. She couldn't recall a time when they'd ever really spoken to one another. Of course she considered Carl her boyfriend, but it hadn't gone on so long that she needed to be properly introduced to his parent. With the world the way it was, she wondered how much things like that mattered. Rick had at least known she existed.
Rick didn't say anything as he dropped his eyes to the floor. Assuming the conversation was done, she started to leave.
"Wait. I didn't want to just warn you about the war." With hands on his hips, he faced her. "Carl wrote you a letter."
Again she felt the uncomfortable twist in her heart.
"Yeah. Michonne gave it, to me."
He nodded and swallowed hard.
"Did you…read it?"
Her eyes widened, finding the question a little too personal.
"I, uh, yeah. I did," she answered quietly.
She saw the moisture in his eyes, and he turned away. She thought he appeared a little mad at her. Then she tensed at the idea that he might want to know what it said.
"He wrote me one," Rick continued. "Wrote a couple of people, letters. I can't read mine."
His face crumpled in shame at the last bit. Without realizing it, Enid stepped further into the room. She knew nothing about comforting adults, especially when the current adult was her late boyfriend's father. There was nothing she could say.
"Maybe, you'll be able to, soon."
He started to shake his head, but paused.
"Maybe I'll try forever and never read it. Maybe I'll always be too afraid."
Enid moved closer. Her heart was fluttering as Carl surfaced fully on her mind. She didn't want to cry now.
"I was afraid," she admitted. "Before that, I was afraid of what I'd do if something ever happened to him. I lost my parents before I lost him. After that, I just tried to survive."
His brows furrowed in concern.
"I'm sorry about your parents."
She didn't look at him when she nodded.
"I'm sorry about Carl."
Quietness settled, but it wasn't awkward. It was filled with something she couldn't describe.
"How do you do that?" Rick asked. "Survive."
He didn't have to elaborate the question. She knew what he was asking, but she wasn't sure how to really answer it. She gave a shrug.
"I don't know. I just, keep going." She didn't believe she was helping Rick one bit with her reply. "Carl told me that, in the letter."
Rick took her in again as he looked at her.
"You and Carl were, close."
She felt a little jolt. Carl had never told her if he filled his dad in on their relationship. Somehow she had always assumed it didn't come up because it wasn't important for people to know. It wasn't like they were getting married, yet she blushed.
"We were…" she didn't know how to address it. If he didn't know they were a couple, how would he take that news now? "I mean…"
"You loved him," Rick filled in.
She looked at him again, eyes wide. Sometimes it surprised her that their relationship had gotten that far, even though they'd never said the words to one another. So many terrible events had stolen the developing moments of intimacy. If she'd had another day, and without the danger of the Saviors, she would have told him so.
Throat tight, she simply nodded.
"You were good for my son."
She wasn't sure how he could know. Unless Carl said something, his father wouldn't know anything about her.
"I'm nothing special."
"You are," he countered. "Carl didn't always get personal with me, but he did mention that you're good, that you're strong and someone to admire."
She swallowed hard and quickly rubbed an eye. Her heart was aching now. When she met his eyes, they were wet, just like Rick's.
"So was Carl," she whispered.
The tears fell then. Warm arms were embracing her as she silently cried. She felt foolish for breaking like this in front of Mr. Grimes, but at the same time she almost felt relieved. It made her think of her parents doing such a thing to comfort her.
"I'm glad Carl had you," Rick whispered. "I'm glad he got to help, and love you."
Enid nestled in the warmth of his chest. The tears wouldn't stop, but his hand running over her head made it easier.
She didn't know how long they stayed like that, but once the tears stopped she slowly broke their embrace. She noticed the wetness on his cheeks.
"Carl always wanted to help people," she told him. "That's why, I want to keep helping. I have to, for him."
"We have to," Rick corrected. He gently rested his hands on her shoulders as he stared into her eyes. They were heavy with concern. "And if you ever need help, you can come to me. We'll help each other. I think Carl would've liked that."
She wiped her eyes and nodded. Rick was suddenly more than just the leader of her community. He had become something of a father to her in that short amount of shared emotions. More than anything she wanted to protect him.
"Me too," she agreed. "I'd like that."
He patted her shoulder and moved to the window again. She turned toward the door, now that their talk was done. But before she left, she looked back at him again. Carl appeared to be reflected in Rick just for a moment, and that brought up a small smile on her face.
"After this, we'll live for him."
Rick looked at her and gave a nod. With the weight on her heart much lighter, Enid took her leave.
I don't think Rick and Enid ever traded words, and it kind of felt like Rick wasn't aware that she and Carl were a couple. I also felt like Carl and Enid didn't yet reach the point of a serious relationship as it didn't look like they've dated very long. Still it was clear how strongly she cared for him. I've never been fully invested in the Carl/Enid pairing, but I liked the idea of Enid and Rick having a moment about Carl.
I did get a little teary eyed writing this.
