AN: Thanks to Adaline Keff, Areiss215, Guest, ShanouNash, and taitlin for reviewing!

barry

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrry

baaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAArararry

Barry almost wishes that his phone was still out in the car, locked away in the storm. He's just about at his wit's end with this.

Bartholomew Henry Allen you can't ignore me forever.

ight whatever i see how it is

The storm has long since passed, however, so he'll just have to deal.

All im gonna say is dont deny your feelings. you got it baaaad for caitlin and you gotta go for it

Granted he could just turn his phone off or put it in his room or something. But what kind of self-respecting millennial would do that?

let yourself be happy

His fingers hover over the virtual keyboard for a few moments. Is it really worth giving her the satisfaction of responding?

Shut up

Probably not.

He backspaces the message and locks his phone. Maybe at some point Iris will find it in her heart to be merciful and leave him alone.

Or maybe she'll get bored.

Now that he thinks about it, the latter is much more likely. She's been texting shit like this nonstop since yesterday; she's gotta run out of steam sometime.

Probably not soon, though, he thinks, reaching into his pocket to silence the device.

He takes a glum bite of his bacon. It doesn't taste nearly as good as it looks. That could be a side effect of the exhaustion, though, because Barry is tired. Yet another thing he's pissed at Iris for.

After spin-the-bottle was broken up by the hotel staff (in under thirty minutes, as Caitlin predicted) Barry escaped to his room for the rest of this day, probably with some lame excuse of a stomach ache or something. He can't really remember. It was a long night.

Iris' taunting voice kept repeating in his head.

But you're totally into her, right?

But you're totally super into her.

Tell me that again at the end of the week.

On a loop for hours. No peace, no quiet, no rest. Cartoons didn't help. Mindless social media scrolling didn't help. Cisco coming in at 11:30 PM ranting and raving about how close he was to kissing Cynthia certainly didn't help.

"Dude, I swear, we were SO DAMN CLOSE!"

"I'm sure you were, Cisco."

"We hung out the ENTIRE DAY and I WASTED IT! There was so much sexual tension. Whew, lordy, I'm still coming down."

"Are you really now, Cisco?"

"Do you think she's gonna go for French kissing the first time? Or is that, like, a second or third kiss type thing?"

"I don't know, Cisco."

"Barry, be honest with me, do you think I can get to third base by the end of the week?"

"I'm sure you can, Cisco."

It went on like that for a while. Eventually Cisco tuckered himself out pacing and complaining, and promptly fell asleep; leaving Barry alone with his stupid, Iris-induced thoughts. Damn Iris. Damn her and her stupid assumptions and observations and perceptiveness. Damn her.

And damn her especially for being right.

Barry thought that sequestering himself from everyone (namely, Caitlin) would have given some clarity or relief or some peace, but all he got was more angst and more confusion and a realization he didn't want to have.

I have feelings for Caitlin.

At first he thought his sleep-deprived brain was just gargling nonsense and he was losing it. But as he rolled around in his bed in a vain attempt to get comfortable it kept echoing.

I have feelings for Caitlin.

Over and over and over and over again, drowning out Iris' mocking and teasing. Getting more intense and growing in volume every time it looped.

I HAVE FEELINGS FOR CAITLIN.

Barry takes another glum nibble.

Y'know what? Damn Cisco too. If he hadn't looped him into coming on this stupid trip this wouldn't be a problem at all. Barry and Caitlin could have just continued on their merry, friendly way.

Then again, Barry was the one who convinced her to come in the first place.

Damn everyone. Damn everything. Everyone sucks and everything is awful and life is pain.

Barry grumbles weakly. The sleep deprivation is making him melodramatic. Like, Cisco levels of melodramatic.

Reign it in, Allen, it's just a crush.

He takes a deep breath.

That's all it is. A crush. A stupidly-powerful crush. A keeps-you-up-at-night-thinking-of-them crush. An illogical crush.

He says illogical because it makes zero sense whatsoever. Not that Caitlin's… unattractive or unappealing or anything. Exactly the opposite, he would say. She's great and she's pretty and smart and super clever and witty and he can't even think about her without his heart rate spiking because she's just the greatest thing in the entire dammit here we go again—

But why now? What's changed?

Barry pondered this pretty much the entire night before and was only able to come up with one hypothesis: he's succumbed to Spring Break Fever.

Spring Break Fever (SBF), for the uninformed, is an infectious disease that affects individuals of all ages. Despite its name, the affliction's reach extends far beyond any given spring break. SBF can infect anyone at any point, provided the individual meets any or all of the following criteria:

1: The individual is participating in an event that is anomalous or out-of-the-ordinary when compared to their typical routine.

2: The individual has more freedom than is typically available to them.

3: The individual is surrounded by questionable peers (see: Cisco Ramon, Iris West) who may influence or pressure them to participate in equally questionable activities.

SBF's symptoms include but are not limited to:

Excessive consumption of alcohol

An unusual spike in drug usage, regardless of the user's prior pension for narcotics

Increased libido

Objectively poor spending habits

A decrease in self control

A sudden, inexplicable change in what the individual values or believes

Confused romantic feelings for a close friend (see: Caitlin Snow)

While the symptoms for SBF may be intimidating or even frightening, treatment of the disease is simple. An infected individual should consider these options:

1: Resist the temptation to give into peer pressure and instead go about your vacation/break/anomalous day trip as you would go about your everyday life.

2: Leave the infected zone and return to your normal domicile and routine; symptoms will begin disappearing within days or, in some cases, even hours.

3: Don't be a goddamn dumbass (see: Barry Allen).

Barry sighs. Even his hypothetical medical article is being mean to him.

However, it does have a point. This isn't difficult to deal with. It just requires a modicum of self-control; something Barry has an abundance of.

(He wonders if anyone would buy that lie.)

All he has to do is avoid Caitlin as much as possible, ignore all potentially self-destructive impulses, and represses his feelings. Easy-peasy. No problem. Like taking candy from a baby. A baby that is him. Like taking candy from himself. Simple. Simpler if she wasn't walking into the dining room right that moment.

Go over and talk to her.

Ask her out.

Kiss her.

I HAVE FEELINGS FOR CAITLIN.

He lowers his head and faces the wall, hoping against hopes that she won't notice him.

Or maybe he's hoping she does notice him.

He stares blankly at the floral patterning, simultaneously hoping she does and doesn't notice him. God his brain hurts.

"Hey."

Well, half his wish is granted.

His knee slams into the table as he jumps.

"Dammit," he groans, clutching his quickly-bruising knee. Caitlin looks at him worriedly.

"Are you okay?" she asks. He looks up at her and loses the function of breath for a few short moments.

Beautiful.

There's that stupid word again. Just like yesterday. This whole freshly-showered look really suits her. Then again, literally every look suits her.

"Uh, no?" he says, more a question than an answer. Her worry intensifies. "Er, what? No? I'm great?"

She frowns.

"Totally fine. You know me, Mr. Cool-As-A-Cucumber 24/7, 365. Except on leap years. Then it's 24/7, 366."

She just looks confused now.

"Barry… uh…"

He shakes his head.

"Sorry," he says. "I'm really out of it."

"Did you sleep alright?" she asks.

"Not really."

She looks at him expectantly.

"Uh, Cisco snores. Like, really loudly." She chuckles.

+1 to Deception

"He also talks in his sleep."

"About Cynthia?"

"Uh-huh."

Barry's technically not lying, because Cisco was actually sleep-talking about Cynthia and picnics and back alley drug dealers (he doesn't even want to ask), but that doesn't stop guilt from pricking him in the stomach. He feels bad. He wants to be honest with her.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

She slides into the seat across from him and the guilt is replaced with nerves. This wasn't just a little check-in. She's here and she wants to spend time with him.

And, self-preservation be damned, he wants to spend time with her too.

"Yeah. He also has an awesome habit of waking me up in the most obnoxious ways possible." Caitlin quirks an intrigued eyebrow.

WHY IS EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES SUDDENLY CUTE?

"This morning he shouted 'Going to the beach with Gypsy! Don't sleep all day!' and then slammed the door before I could even say anything. Like, why even wake me up for that?"

Caitlin chuckles.

"Do you share a room often?"

Images of nocturnal gaming/binge-snacking sessions flash in his mind's eye.

"We, uh… study together… a lot.'

-1 to Deception

"And, uh, if we study really late I usually just crash at his place."

Why is he even trying to lie? It's not like Caitlin's gonna judge him for being a total dorky 12-year-old. Unless she does. She might. No, she wouldn't. Probably. Right? Oh god, what if she does? What if she thinks he's totally lame and doesn't want to hang out anymore?

Oh buddy you're a goner.

She nods, and if she doesn't believe him she doesn't show it. He continues talking because he's Barry and what else is he really capable of doing?

"One time he slapped me in the face with a cold sausage." She blinks at him.

Give it up for the king of non sequiturs, ladies and gentleman.

"I mean, to wake me up. Just, cause we were talking about… uh, Cisco waking me up. I mean, I was talking about it. You were kind of just listening. Sorry you had to listen to that. And to me, in general."

Caitlin opens her mouth to say something but holds back. She bites her lip to suppress a smile. Barry's nerves are supplanted by curiosity.

"What?"

"Nothing," she says a little too quickly. He raises an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing," she murmurs, looking away with a little grin.

"Come oooooon. You can't do that. That's not fair."

"What's not fair?" she asks with an air of faux-innocence.

"Caitliiiiiin."

She pauses to consider her words.

"I was going to ask if 'slapped me in the face with a cold sausage' was a euphemism for something less… appropriate."

Barry's jaw drops as Caitlin giggles.

"Oh my god."

"In my defense—"

"First of all, ew."

"Look, you—"

"Second of all, you are a child," he says with a laugh. "I thought you were supposed to be, like, the mom of our friend group."

"Moms are entitled to a couple of crude jokes," she says defensively. "I thought you were supposed to be more careful with your words."

He snorts.

"Clearly you don't know me that well."

"Clearly," she says, smiling. "Perhaps we should spend more time together, then."

His breath hitches.

She's just being friendly. Caitlin's always friendly. She probably just wants to spend time as a group with Cisco. So we can babysit him. That's it. Definitely. What else could she mean?

"Ha, yeah. I could use some help babysitting Cisco, if you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all," she says.

Whew.

"Although Cynthia seems to be doing a pretty good job of that herself. So I suppose we could spend some time together this week."

Ah.

"Just us."

Houston, we have a problem.

All he has to do is weasel his way out like he did last night. This bacon is pretty bad, so the stomach ache lie would make even more sense. He just has to follow the SBF treatment guide. It's simple. A modicum of self-control. He has a modicum.

"Yeah, uh… definitely. We should."

-100,000,000 to Making Good Decisions

Caitlin's smile widens, and that almost makes it worth the stress and nervousness he's dealing with right now. She leans her elbows on the table and eyes the bacon on his plate hungrily.

"Do you mind?" she asks, gesturing to it. He shakes his head.

"Be my guest."

She snatches a piece and takes a bite, letting out a little satisfied noise.

STOP. BEING. CUTE. DAMMIT.

"That's really good," she mumbles, each consecutive bite more ravenous than the last. Barry slides the plate over. She gives him a grateful look.

A bit later and a significant dent has appeared in the mound of pig.

"Why do you even have this much bacon?" Caitlin asks between bites.

"Why are you eating so much of it?"

"Touché." She leans back in her chair, tilting her head up and letting out a sigh. "Please don't let me eat any more of this."

"As you wish, my lady." He slides the plate back towards himself and grabs a piece of bacon. He hesitates before biting into it. "Mm."

"Right?"

He nods. It's suddenly the most delicious bacon he's ever eaten.

"Oh, Caitlin." He points at her mouth. She looks confused.

"You've got a…" She wipes the wrong side.

"No, over a little." She wipes further in the other direction.

"No, the other…" She goes lower.

He shakes his head, grabbing a napkin and lightly swiping the crumbs off the corner of her mouth. She looks down bashfully.

"Thanks," she mumbles. Barry blinks. He didn't even mean to do that. It was instinct.

Why was intimate face-touching your first instinct?

Luckily, Caitlin seems as eager to move on from that awkward interlude as he is, so she resumes talking.

"Do you want to check out the town?"

He raises an eyebrow.

"The town?"

"They have all sorts of tourists traps and restaurants and… stuff. To do."

"Stuff. To do," he repeats with a smirk. "Very specific."

She raises an eyebrow. "Are you not interested?"

"No," he says. "Er, I mean, yes? I never know how to answer without making it a double negative or a double positive or whatever."

"A double positive would just be a positive," she helpfully points out. He squints, considering it for a few moments.

"Uh-huh," he says with more than a little uncertainty.

"Are you interested in checking out the town?" she rephrases.

Just say no. Follow the treatment guide.

"Sure. I could use some stuff to do."

In reality, he could use a distraction. From the feelings, from the temptations, from Caitlin.

So, naturally, the distraction he chooses is going out with Caitlin to do fun, teenager-y things alone in a beach town with pretty much total freedom.

She smiles.

"Alright," she says, standing.

"Wait, you mean now?"

Oh sure, now you try to weasel your way out of it.

"Well, we only have a few days here." Her smile drops the slightest bit. "Would you rather wait?"

He could say no. She's given him an out. This is his opportunity to stop this in its tracks.

"No, we can go today."

She grins. "Okay. I'm gonna go change."

"Why?" he blurts. She chuckles.

"You want me to go out looking like this?" She gestures to herself; all pajamas and messy, damp hair and lack of makeup.

Yes please.

"Ha, no, I just meant…"

Think, Barry, think.

"Don't you wanna finish the heart-attack-on-a-plate?"

"Very aptly named."

"Patent-pending."

She laughs.

"I think I've had my fill of bacon for the next month."

"Only a month? Damn." She shrugs, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Meet in the lobby in a few minutes?"

"Can we define 'a few?'" he asks. "I feel like everyone has their own personal definition and I just wanna make sure our 'fews' line up."

"About fifteen."

"Fifteen? See, this is why I asked. That's five times longer than my 'few.'"

"Well, good thing we settled it then," she teases.

"Also, are you for real? What do you even need fifteen minutes for?" He narrows his eyes. "Caitlin, are you sneaking off to write a college essay?"

She feigns shock.

"How dare you?" she shoves him lightly. "I resent that accusation."

"I resent your face."

"And I'm the child?"

"Why is it gonna take fifteen minuuuuuutes?" he whines, cementing his position as the child. She rolls her eyes.

"It takes a while to pretty up."

"You don't need to."

+1 to Smoothness

-1 to Impulse Control

She bites her lip.

"See you in a few."

As Caitlin turns to leave, Barry catches sight of her full-blown smile. His heart jumps. It's not like the little half-smirks she allows whenever he or Cisco says something marginally funny. It's a real, genuine, joyful smile.

Barry can't think of the last time he's seen her like that. He feels privileged, almost. Like this is a gift. Something just between the two of them. He got to see her smile genuinely, honestly, entirely.

Game over, man. You are done for.

The voice isn't wrong.

Barry grabs another strip bacon and chews on it thoughtfully.

I have feelings for Caitlin.

The voice in his head is calmer now. More level. It's not screaming, it's just stating very plainly the truth.

He takes a deep breath.

"Barry!"

Because Cisco apparently can't ever let him ponder important things in peace.

Barry opens his mouth but Cisco just keep going.

"Dude, dude, dude! You don't even…" He throws his hands in the air dramatically, garnering a few odd looks from the inhabitants of the room. "Okay, I am so amped right now."

"I can tell."

He takes the seat Caitlin occupied less than a minute prior.

"Cynthia kissed me!" he whisper-yells. Barry feels a smile creep onto his face.

"Dude, that's awesome." he offers a high five. Cisco fist-bumps it.

"So, like, do you want the deets?" He's practically shaking he's so excited.. Barry figures that he's going to give him 'the deets' regardless. "You know what, I'm just gonna give you the deets."

He chuckles.

"So y'know I was kinda going totally crazy last night 'cause I didn't get to kiss her yesterday."

"What?" Barry snarks. "You were being totally reasonable and chill."

"Save the sass for the end of class," Cisco says.

"How long have you been waiting to use that one?"

"Too long," he says. "But anyways, I didn't sleep, like at all"—Barry has to suppress an eyeroll, because Cisco sure as hell slept better than he did—"so I got up really early this morning and went to her room."

Barry raises an eyebrow.

"How early?"

"Like, 7 probably."

"You're lucky she didn't kill you."

"I guess she's a morning person."

Barry doesn't see Cynthia being a morning person. Or an evening person. Or an any-time-of-the-day type person, But he lets Cisco continue regardless.

"So, like, I knocked on the door and when she opened up she looked so hot. Like, instant turn-on. Her bedhead looks super sexy and I can't even—"

"I don't think this is super relevant," Barry interjects.

"You wanted the deets!"

"No I didn't."

"You don't?"

Cisco gives him that kicked-puppy look and he's immediately flooded with guilt.

"No, I mean, yeah, I want the deets," he says. "Just… y'know, I don't need to know that, specifically."

"Noted," Cisco says. "So we're just standing there in the hallway, and I say, 'Hey, Cynthia, I really want to kiss you. Sorry if that's weird but I'm super into you and—' and then she just kisses me!"

Barry blinks at him.

"Seriously?"

"Yes!"

Barry blinks again.

"That worked?"

"I guess!"

"How?"

"I have no friggin' idea, my dude. Oo, bacon." He grabs a slice and nibbles on it. "Damn this is good."

"Right?"

"But, like, I don't even know why. Like, I thought she was gonna be angry or weirded out."

Barry raises an eyebrow.

"Why'd you do it, then?"

"Dude, I was dyyyyying. I was gonna explode." He bites into another strip of bacon. "I'm so into her. Figured it'd be worth the risk, y'know?"

"Huh," he says. "Yeah, I guess."

"And it totally was. We made out for, like, hours."

"Nice," Barry says, hoping he's not going to delve any deeper into that. "I'm really happy for you, Cisco."

Cisco grins.

"Thanks," he says. "Honestly, I couldn't have done it without you."

Barry raises an eyebrow.

"I didn't do anything."

"You did! You were there for me, man. You were a good wingman."

They share a smile.

"I'm glad I could help."

Cisco stands up abruptly and grabs the plate of bacon.

"Gonna take this. Gypsy's hungry," he says with an eyebrow waggle.

"Uh-huh," Barry says with an eyeroll.

"Y'know, cos we're making out."

"Yep."

"Like a whole lot!" Cisco calls over his shoulder as he jogs out of the room.

Barry chuckles to himself as he gets out of his own seat, stretching. He feels a lot lighter. A lot more at ease.

Figured it'd be worth the risk, y'know?

He considers Cisco's words as he heads back to the room to get ready.

This is an awful idea. A terrible, friendship-ruining, idiotic idea. This is everything he was afraid of when he decided to come on this trip.

And for once, he doesn't care.

It's spring break. That's what it's for. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The last chance he has to be young and dumb and carefree. This is all he's got.

And he'll be damned if he's gonna let it go to waste.