Tony rolled his eyes as Steve laid out yet another Hydra goon and landed in yet another incredibly attractive super heroic pose. And people thought he was the dramatic one on the team. Sure, he had incredibly brilliant quips, but Cap had the market cornered on dramatics.

Dramatic poses, dramatic sighs into the distance for days gone by, dramatically chiseled good looks. Alright, he needed to focus here.

The team had been informed by SHIELD that this Hydra base had some sort of weapon that they had been creating. It sounded ominous and dangerous enough to send in the Avengers. Tony blasted another guy from his feet into a wall. God, he loved his job.

"Barton, Romanoff, tell me one of you has something." Steve gritted into the comm.

"I'm in the control room. I'm downloading files right now." Natasha's voice told them easily. "I'm not seeing any weapons on the security cams, but I'll keep looking."

"Nothing on my end. Jesus, these dudes just keep on coming." Clint groused. There was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, yeah, we all know your cut off one head motto by now."

"Barton, focus. We need the location of that weapon to either disarm or destroy it." Steve bit out.

"Don't get your star-spangled panties in a twist, Cap. Some of us can multi-task." Tony laughed as he jetted down a hallway.

"Stark, has your tech found anything yet?" Steve bit out, clearly irritated with him and Barton. Tony grinned. It was literally too easy.

"J, what have we got?" Tony asked.

Jarvis' accented voice responded quickly, "Sir, indicators show that there is one level below the one you are currently on. However, the schematics are not revealing an access point."

"One access point, coming up." Tony said, reaching the end of a hallway and pointing his blasters straight at the floor. Once the blast cleared, he saw that once again his AI had not steered him wrong. "Guys, I'm checking out a secret lower level. I feel like I'm about to read Hydra's super-secret teenage girl diary. I'll let you know if there is something juicy."

"Stark, keep your eyes open, it could be dangerous." Steve commanded. Tony just rolled his eyes and lowered himself down to the eerily empty extra level. Why would Hydra create an entire secret level, and nobody was on it? Tony was starting to get an uneasy feeling as he looked in room after room, all empty. But they looked like they had been recently evacuated. Papers were left lying around, labs still had experiments bubbling. It was weird.

Tony stopped at the last door in the corridor. It was locked. He pulled blasted the lock and pushed it open. "I think we're about to find out Hydra's dirty little secret, guys." He announced.

"Stark I'm on the lower level, what's your location?" Clint asked.

But Tony didn't respond. He was too shocked. The secret left behind in this secret level of a Hydra base was a kid? A small figure, Tony honestly didn't know how old the miniature human was, stared at him defiantly in the bare cell that contained only a small cot. Tony was less scared than confused though from the brown eyes slanted at him under a mop of brown curls.

"Hey, kid, I'm an Avenger, we're gonna rescue you." Tony told the kid.

Far from having the desired effect, the kid went berserk. He ran straight for Tony and jumped up in the air, pushing his feet straight at Tony's chest, and even more surprising, Tony flew out of the sterile room and crashed into the wall behind him.

"Uh, guys, I think I found the weapon." He groaned. "Kid, listen, I'm Iron Man and I don't want to hurt you. I'm one of the good guys." Tony tried to reason with the small figure that was flinging himself at him again. He managed to evade the boy just in time.

"Whoa! Okay, come on, I'll get you a lollipop if you're good." Tony offered. This only seemed to make the kid more angry as he kicked off a wall and landed another punch, damaging Tony's suit.

"Sir, I must alert you that you cannot take many more direct hits of this strength. Your suit is now running at thirty-four percent capacity." Jarvis warned him, showing several weakened points on his suit.

"Thanks, J, update me when I'm at twelve percent." Tony snapped back. He didn't want to hurt a kid, but damn, this kid wasn't a normal kid. He evaded as much as he could, but the kid was smart enough to use their tight quarters to his advantage.

Just as he was considering what he could do that wouldn't hurt the kid, the kid slumped to the floor and Clint stood behind him, hold a needle that was now empty, and smirking. "I don't suppose you're going to let me forget that you stopped a kid from beating me up?" Tony asked resigned.

"Your words. And never." Clint laughed. "We're bringing the kid back to the jet. We'll be there in ten." Clint told the others.

"Make it five." Natasha announced. "This place is going up."

Tony and Clint looked at each other quickly and Tony scooped up the boy before following Clint in bolting back down the hall. Just as they reached the quinjet and it started flying away, the entire Hydra base blew up behind them in a massive spectacle of flames and the rumble of bombs.

"I'd say this was a successful mission, guys." Tony grinned, setting the kid on a seat and buckling his limp form in before hopping out of the suit. He went up to Steve and kissed him deeply before being pushed away with a sigh.

"Tony." Steve warned.

"I know, blah, blah, blah, we're on a mission. Be professional, yadda, yadda, yadda." Tony rolled his eyes at Steve.

"Tony." Steve groaned. "I wish you'd take this more seriously."

Tony looked offended. "I am taking this very seriously. We found some creepy children of the corn weapon kid and rescued him from Hydra. The mission's practically over, Cap."

"Practically being the key word." Natasha told him from the cockpit.

"Plus, not everyone wants to see you two making out. I had a burger for lunch and don't want to lose it." Clint complained.

Tony grumbled to himself before announcing, "Fine, let's step on it to SHIELD's somehow still secret giant flying base."

Tony rolled his eyes as he caught Steve muttering, "What does corn have to do with anything?" and writing something in his notebook.

The flight back to the helicarrier was quick enough. The Avengers gratefully unloaded the kid and went to wash up before they had to debrief in an hour. Tony grimaced as the jets of the frankly subpar shower hit his sore muscles, but was grateful to at least be clean. He entered the conference room, sporting some tinted sunglasses and was only slightly late if the intensity of the glare from Fury and minor disappointment from Steve was anything to go on.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road. I've got places to be and people who want to see me." Tony announced grandiosely.

Clint rolled his eyes and Fury merely pressed a button that pulled up a video feed of the kid that was now up and running. "Whoa, that tranq should have had him out for at least half a day more." Clint informed them.

Fury nodded. "Meet Peter Parker, ladies and gentlemen."