"Grief"

By: Ginomo

Takes place during and in the direct aftermath of "Tears of the Prophets" with a few flashback scenes to events earlier in Worf's life. A scene I wrote in my story "Zhin'tara" inspired this one. 20 years of writing Worf and Dax fanfic and I have never taken on the days following her death. So, here it is!

Epilogue

The room felt cold. Her body was covered with a thin blanket but she still felt chilled. Dax blinked her eyes a few times trying to focus. She was in… the infirmary? She turned her head to the side and could see lights flickering on a panel. To the other side there were people she didn't recognize. No, this was not the infirmary, this looked different. But it was definitely some type of sickbay. Where was she? Perhaps Julian had needed to transport her to another station. She remembered her eyes briefly fluttering open when Dr. Bashir rushed to her side as she lay on the floor of the Bajoran Temple.

"Jadzia? Can you hear me? What happened?" he'd asked frantically as he began scanning her.

"Dukat…" she managed to barely whisper.

That was the last thing she remembered. Now she was lying on a biobed in some strange sick bay. Her head was pounding; Dax reached up and placed a weary hand on her forehead. As she did, her fingers unexpectedly grazed locks of short hair that hung across her face.

"What the…" Dax ran both her hands over her head to find that it was nearly all gone. Had they cut her hair? Why would they have to do that?

Something wasn't right. She brought her hands down to eye level and gasped. These were not her hands.

"Oh no, no this can't be happening…"

She motioned to sit and felt a dull ache in her abdomen. Dax tossed the covers back to reveal legs that were not her own. Her breathing was panicked and ragged as she yanked the gown she was wearing up and found the scar across her belly. The scar that had healed years ago was as fresh as the day she received the Dax symbiont from Curzon.

"No. No, please no…"

Dax stood and nearly fell over as she did. She could barely balance on feet that were foreign to her and legs that were much shorter. As she stumbled around the room looking for a mirror, someone entered.

"Doctor! She's awake!" the man yelled, sounding as frantic as she felt.

"What the hell is going on?" The biting menace in the words were hers, but the voice was not.

The man held out his hands protectively, "Please, um, Dax, please get back in bed."

"Not until you tell me what's happened. Am I in a new host? Is Jadzia," she swallowed a lump in her throat and felt tears well in her eyes, "Is Jadzia dead"

The man looked around as if wanting someone else to answer. Finally, two others came into the room, "Dax, please, we need you to calm down. This is all best explained if you're calm."

"Is she dead!?"

The two new people exchanged glances. The second one spoke, "Yes, she is."

Dax thought she might collapse, "This can't be. Dr. Bashir, where is he?"

"Nurse, prepare a hypo of inaprovaline to calm her," the first one said.

"No!" Dax demanded. "I'm calm. Just tell me what's going on?"

"Do you know who we are? What's the last thing you remember?"

"I have no idea who you are. The last thing I remember is lying on the floor, Dr. Bashir was helping me. I'd been shot. Where are you taking me?"

"Please sit," the man took her arm and pretty much forced her back on the biobed. This body was nowhere near as strong as Jadzia's, she could do nothing to resist, "I'm Dr. Mendelson and this is Counselor Pyvek. Your name," more exchanged glances and deep sighs, "Your name is Ensign Ezri Dax. You are the ninth host to the Dax symbiont. Your previous host, Jadzia Dax, died several days ago."

Dax shook her head, "I have changed hosts many times and it has never felt like this. There is no Ezri here," she spat the name out like a curse

The counselor had a padd in her hand and was scrolling furiously, "Well, they told us there might be some complications due to the nature of your joining. The previous host personality has completely suppressed the new one. We are on our way to Trill now, the people at the symbiosis comision should be able to help you better integrate and train you on how to be a host."

"Train me?"

"I really don't want to say too much, they cautioned that it would only confuse you further."

Her head was throbbing, she placed her hands on her temples and winced. The doctor motioned to give her a hypo but she waved him off. She wanted all her wits about her.

"Where is Worf?"

More exchanged glances.

"Would you two stop looking at each other and answer my questions!"

"We aren't trying to upset you, you're just behaving very differently than we're used to," the Doctor replied. "I'm sure this must be very disorienting. Let us put you into stasis until we get to Trill."

"I need to know where my husband is. You called me Ensign, that means I'm a Starfleet Officer and I have rights. I need to speak to Lieutenant Commander Worf immediately. There is no way he'd allow this to happen."

"Commander Worf, Jadzia's husband, is back on Deep Space Nine. There is nothing for him to allow, Ezri," Counselor Pyvek was doing her best to sounds as comforting as she could, "His wife died and her symbiont was sent to Trill for a new host, a completely normal part of a joined Trill's life cycle. You should not be experiencing Jadzia's personality so intensely, and it's for your own sake that we are asking to put you into stasis. I'm worried that Ezri may never emerge at the rate."

Tears were flowing down her new cheeks and she didn't even bother to wipe them away. She didn't give a damn about Ezri, "Did he get to see her? To say goodbye? I can't just leave him alone, he won't be able to handle it…"

"According to Dr. Bashir's report, after he removed the Dax symbiont Commander Worf was able to see his wife and the two spoke before she…" he let his voice trailed off, "That's probably why you don't remember it."

Dax lied back on the biobed, the tears still falling, "I can't… This can't…" she whispered over and over. The doctor looked to the counselor who nodded her head in silent agreement. Dax felt the cool touch of the hypospray press into her neck as the room around her slowly went dark.

~finis

September 16, 2018

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