Disclaimer: All Characters/settings/trademarks referenced from Dragonball/Z/GT/Super & Ranma 1/2 are the respective properties of their original creators.

A/N: Let the fuckery begin. "Do. Or do not. There is no spoon." - Jedi Master Neo.

Ranma Ball Z

Act Eleven:

Liquid Courage

"This is it, ladies and gentlemen," Announcer said, adjusting his sunglasses with one hand while holding the mic with the other. "Our first match of the semi-final round is here. It's my pleasure to invite back into the ring, Ranma Saotome and Ma Junior!"

Ranma dropped her hands from the short wall surrounding the observation platform and turned on her heel to head toward the exit. She stopped short when Goku stepped in front of her and held up a hand to get her attention. "Listen, Ranma," Goku started. "Ma Junior... his true identity is the son of Piccolo Daimao."

"Who?" Ranma replied.

"He was a really... bad guy, okay?" Goku said, feeling embarrassed for assuming that Ranma knew. "Anyway, be careful out there. Ukyo was... how should I say it... worried, I guess, when I said that I'd dealt with his kind before."

Ranma did her best to suppress feeling offended at the lack of confidence she was being shown. "Well, you can tell her to relax, dude. I'm no pushover, if you hadn't already figured that out. Now, if you'll excuse me," she added, stepping round him and entering the stairwell.

The crowd went wild as the two contestants entered the arena. Ranma, followed by Ma Junior, took their places opposite each other with Announcer standing between them.

Junior's cold stare bore into Ranma as they waited for the gong to sound. His ki was immense and quite unlike anything she'd encountered before. She felt a slight chill but stubbornly refused to look away. No way was she gonna let herself get psyched out.

"Let the match begin!" Announcer bellowed into the mic as he swung his arm down in time with the gong. He immediately jogged out of the way to make space for the fighters.

Ranma, suddenly feeling the urge to be extra careful, immediately slipped into the Umisenken and began sneaking around the ring. She knew, from previous experience, that it was only good to the count of ten since the judges would count her as having abandoned the match if she didn't make her presence known before then. Still, it was enough time to set a trap or two before she dropped the technique inside of Junior's defense and landed a solid uppercut to his chin.

Junior's head barely moved an inch from the force of the impact under his jaw and appeared more annoyed than hurt. He reacted by grabbing Ranma's neck, swinging her around with his arm extending to an unnatural length and choke-slamming her into the tile. "Your feeble games are nothing more than a waste of my time," he said, through gritted teeth, as he held her in place. "Give up now before it gets ugly."

"Sorry... but I'm just the type that's not convinced so easily," Ranma choked out, with a grin, as she used a gesture consisting of her index and middle fingers to conjure up a pillar of water shaped like a dragon from behind his back.

Junior turned his head just in time to see the gaping maw of the hydro beast swallow him up. The force was more than simply the impact one would expect from hard water. It's jaws actually clamped down on his torso and yanked him away from Ranma before tossing him around like a ragdoll. He was whipped around in a frenzy and, before the energy maintaining the construct ran out, plowed deep into the tiled surface of the arena.

"Ouch!" Announcer shouted into the mic. "He's gonna feel that one in the morning, folks."

Ranma smirked, satisfactorily, as she regained her footing. "Am I still wasting your time?"

Junior coughed out a significant amount of water as he rolled onto his side and climbed back to his feet. His prominent brow was furrowed into a deep scowl. "This isn't even about you!" he yelled.

"Yeah, I kinda gathered that," Ranma commented with a flippant hand gesture. "You and Goku have beef, right?"

"He killed my father!" Junior replied.

"Hn..." Ranma responded with a non-committal grunt. "I'm sorry for your loss. I honestly don't know too much about the history of your world so it's not really my place to judge. However, based on what I've seen from him, Goku wouldn't kill someone without good reason. It's not easy taking a life when all you've been taught is to value and preserve it. I'm speaking from experience."

"Save your words for someone that gives a damn..." Junior seethed. "All I've come to do is exact my revenge before finishing what my father started. Once I take my place as ruler of this pathetic civilization, there'll be no need for contrivances like this. If you insist on delaying me, then you're inviting unnecessary punishment."

Ranma looked at the green man quizzically. He was menacing and threatening an extra violent retaliation while at the same time giving her an out. She chortled briefly before shaking her head and waving him off. "You know... if you're as much of a basket case as the people I usually hang around with, we might end up getting along pretty well. Come at me then," she added, beckoning with a wave of the hand and sliding her feet to adjust her stance.

Junior growled, baring his sharp teeth, before speed flickering in and landing a solid fist to her gut which doubled her over. He'd caught her right in the middle of trying to position her dummy for the replacement technique and preparing an escape. "I've seen all your tricks already. Or have you forgotten?" he whispered into her ear. "Not like any of them would've worked on me anyway. You're just too slow and too weak."

Ranma coughed out a gob of blood onto the tile and felt a sharp pain in her chest as she tried to gasp for breath. There was at least one rib broken in there, she realized. "Not yet... you haven't," she choked out before thrusting her index finger into the arena floor right beneath her. "Bakusai Tenketsu!"

The tiles in a meter wide radius exploded into a shower of debris which surprised Junior and made him lose track of Ranma. He whirled around, scanning the arena for her presence, before realizing she'd resorted to her disappearing act again. "Is that the best you can do? Hit and run? This is prolonging the inevitable and you know it!"

Ranma winced as her pained attempt to pull air into her lungs aggravated her broken ribs. She stifled a fit of coughs as her hold over the Umisenken wavered. She held what little breath she could muster to steady herself and keep the technique going. Her mind worked on overdrive as she pored over every strategy she thought she could pull off in her condition. Full body Amaguriken was out because she couldn't sustain a sufficient amount of air with her breathing so labored. Any physical attack was honestly pointless because his strength and toughness was just too far beyond her. And his ki was on a completely higher level.

It was then that it struck her. This tremendous gap in ability was sort of like what she experienced when suffering the weakness moxibustion. The only way to defeat someone so far above you was to use their own ki against them. Calling upon her mana skills, she began pulling the puddled water on the arena floor into a spiral.

"Oi! Green bean!" she shouted, dropping the Umisenken and raising the Soul Of Ice, before stepping onto the slow moving current of water – where she had complete control. "Only reason I ran from you is 'cause I hate eating raw veggies!"

"Say what?" Junior replied, scowling, as he turned to face her.

"I mean, if it ain't stir fry, it ain't worth my time. Is that what happened to your poor old man? I knew Goku had a mean appetite but, damn, he must've been starving to resort to that," she added.

"You take that back!" Junior shouted, lunging at her. His fist broke clean through her torso and he flinched for a second thinking that he'd overdone it. When she dissolved into a mass of water and splashed onto the ground, he furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Yeah, you ain't seen all my tricks yet, by the way," she said, suddenly a few feet away from him and looking mostly unharmed. "All this effort is getting me pretty famished, though. Maybe Goku was onto something..."

"I'm not edible!" he shouted, lunging once again, only to have his fists turn her into a mass of water yet again.

"Well, not like that you aren't, silly," she said, rolling her eyes as if it were an obvious thing after reappearing just out of reach. "You'd need some sesame oil, soy sauce and peppers before I'd even think about touching you."

"Goddammit, stay solid so I can make you eat your words!"

Ranma grinned through the pain of her ribs as she continued to taunt Junior ever closer to the center of her spiral. The water clone technique was rapidly draining her mana, though, so she'd only get one shot at this before being totally dried up. By the time he was fully drawn in, his hot aura was visibly blazing around him like a roiling flame.

"Hiryu Shoten HAAAAAA!" Ranma's fist shot upward with a crack of thunder as the tornado of force erupted from beneath her feet and lifted Junior into it's punishing core. Thinking the hard part was over, she collapsed to her knees and hugged her arms over her chest to brace herself against the pain her heavy breathing was causing.

A collective gasp from the audience, accompanied by an earth shaking rumble, caused her to look up and nearly lose what little breath she was able to draw in. Junior's head was thrown back as a furious roar escaped his mouth. It was so powerful she felt the vibration move through her body and tweak her injured abdomen. His forceful scream broke through the cutting wind and completely dissolved the tornado as well. He was far from done, however. His body rapidly grew in size until he was barely able to stand within the confines of the arena.

"Holy shit..." Ranma croaked as a giant foot came flying down directly above her head. The pain she felt was, thankfully, very short because she blacked out near instantly.

OoooooO

Piccolo Junior lifted his giant foot and flicked the flattened girl off of his cloth slipper with an equally large finger. He let himself return to normal size as her limp form flopped onto the grass outside the ring. He didn't bother resisting the urge to laugh out loud with manic glee as the audience hurled shouts of grief and hatred in his direction. It was only a little while longer that he'd have to endure such things before he was able to well and truly replace it with a healthy dose of fear.

He gave the nearest camera the middle finger and then folded his arms over his chest just as a medic team was sent in to collect the girl. He kind of hoped she survived just so he could make her suffer all over again.

OoooooO

Shampoo watched the scene unfold in slow motion with a horrified expression on her face and a feeling of utter helplessness. She hadn't even realized she'd been screaming as her beloved was crushed under the giant foot until she ran out of breath and her throat was left feeling raw. As soon as her wits returned, she coiled her leg muscles in preparation to leap into the ring and unleash fury upon the green demon. It was only a hand falling upon her shoulder that stopped her.

"Don't do it," Goku said, holding her back. "He's too strong for you... no offense."

"But he killed my Ranma..." Shampoo growled, blinking the tears out of her eyes.

"No... I can still sense him... her?" Goku replied, sheepishly. "Anyway, Ranma's ki is weak but it's still there. As long as she's tended to, she can recover."

After quite a bit of commotion, Announcer was forced to carry on with his duties by calling Shampoo and Goku into the arena for the second match of the semi-finals. He did so with a very somber energy which was reflected by the audience. Shampoo appreciated the sentiment and was quite moved by the display which spurred her to make a decision she otherwise would've never made.

As she and Goku squared off against each other in preparation of the gong to sound, she glanced at her great grandmother who was seated in the audience and gave her an apologetic look. The moment after the start of the match was signaled, and Announcer got clear, Shampoo took a knee. "I forfeit!" she shouted.

"W-wait! Seriously?" Goku blurted out.

"You probably have the best chance of beating that man," Shampoo admitted with some difficulty. "So, I'm not gonna make you waste your energy on a fight with me when you could use it to take him down. Besides, I need to go be at Ranma's side right now. Just promise me you'll beat him," she added, bowing her head.

"I... I promise," Goku said, returning the gesture.

OoooooO

A cloud of dirt and loose blades of grass blew across the arena floor as a particularly strong gust swept through the space between the two fighters facing off for the final match of the tournament. In one corner stood Goku, with his bare feet spread into a wide and solid stance. His expression was one of immense seriousness that he kept reserved for only the most delicate of situations. In the other corner, Piccolo Junior combined a sneer with a confident upright stance and arms folded over his chest.

"I'm going to enjoy crushing you even more than I did your little ginger friend, Goku," Piccolo said, referencing Ranma, before grinning just enough to show his prominent canines.

"This isn't gonna go the way you think it is, I promise," Goku replied, flexing his fists just enough to make his knuckles pop.

"Fight!" Announcer shouted, dropping his arm just as the gong sounded.

The two combatants launched themselves at each other and clashed at the center of the ring, where the blonde announcer had just been a second earlier. Their hard physical contact initiated a series of thunder claps that coincided with a rapid flurry of blows too fast for the spectators to follow. As the fight moved around the ring, some of the more experienced observers caught glimpses of orange or purple but otherwise were left to react to to the sound and concussive force vibrating the very atmosphere.

When the first decisive blow was landed, the speed marathon paused just long enough for the cameras to catch a clean shot of Goku's fist crashing against the underside of Piccolo's chin. The force sent the green man blasting into the sky and the moment was over just as quickly as it had begun when Goku leapt after him.

Before Son Goku got near enough to unleash his follow up strike, Piccolo made a mid-air correction and hurled an arm extension his way. The orange clad fighter choked as he took a fist to the jugular and was then folded in half when the unnaturally long leg thrust a kick into his lower abdomen. The momentary stun was enough for his opponent to zoom in and land a double kick powerful enough to send him plummeting back to the arena floor.

Junior howled with angry glee as he unleashed a salvo of hand blasts which met Goku just after his moment of initial impact back into the ring. The resulting explosion caused more than a few observers who were seated nearest the arena to vacate their expensive vantage point. When the smoke and dust cleared, Goku lay face down at the bottom of a fairly deep crater.

Piccolo alighted back to ground level and made contact with the tile beside the edge of the hole before grimacing. "You can stop playing dead anytime now," he said.

"Yeah... you're probably right," Goku replied, slowly picking himself up. "I think I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm dealing with now," he added, stretching his neck out and rolling his left shoulder. He hopped lightly out of the hole and back onto the tile before continuing. "You ready for the real fight?"

"I've waited long enough," Piccolo replied, impatiently.

OoooooO

"Baka..." Akane growled, biting her lower lip, as she replayed the horrifying scene she had seen on-screen in her head over again. 'You better be okay,' she thought as she rushed through the crowd toward the sight/sound of ambulance lights. "Get out of the way," she grunted, pushing people aside as she burst into the center of a cluster of media personnel doing their best to capture a close up of Ranma's broken body as she was carted into the back of a hover vehicle.

She froze as soon as she got a good look at the redhead. She was mostly covered in a blanket and the straps that held her to the stretcher but one look at her face, which was bloody and deformed, made it clear how serious her condition was. Akane, in all of her adventures, never thought she'd see Ranma in such a state. She'd always imagined it would be her or one of the others in Ranma's orbit that would eventually get a real thrashing that they might not come back from.

"Excuse me," she said, forcefully, using her arm to block the ambulance driver before he could shut his door. "Which hospital are you taking her to?"

"South City General," the driver replied curtly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, time is working against us."

Akane let her arm drop so the uniformed man could swing his door closed. The two EMTs in the rear slammed their doors in a rush right before the ambulance's hover engines whirled to life and forced everyone to take a step back from the gusting wind. She shielded her face with her forearms and squinted through the dust-off to see which direction the vehicle took. The other present Nerima residents were gonna want to know where to meet up to show Ranma support.

OoooooO

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," Herb said, arms folded, as he rested his back against a wall of the visitor lobby attached to the intensive care wing of South City General. "A weakling like him could have only gotten away with squeezing out wins by using dirty tricks for so long."

"Who invited this jackass?" Ukyo asked the small assembly of familiar faces, clearly insulted.

"Probably the same violent girl who invited you," Shampoo snarked, briefly directing her gaze to Akane before snapping it back to Ukyo. "Seriously; the only people who need to be here are his family. And, since his parents are still sorting out their transportation from Earth-A, that narrows it down to me and Great Grandmother. Feel free to show yourselves out anytime," she added.

"You know, I liked you way better with the dumb bimbo accent," Ukyo said, narrowing her eyes into a glare.

"Would you all just quit it with the squabbling already?" Akane snapped. "This is bigger than our petty issues. Ranma could actually die from this."

"You should be more optimistic, little sister," Nabiki said, visibly maintaining her cool. "Ranma is tough enough to endure this." Inside, though, she was wracked with guilt. If she hadn't built up so much hype and put even more pressure on him to deliver, then he might not have taken things so far.

"The Tendos are both right," Cologne said, calmly taking a puff from her pipe as she dangled her short legs from the too-big-for-her chair. "Your old grievances with each other have no place here. We are where we are and are who we are because of the intersection our lives took as a result of meeting Ranma and being moved by both his strength of body and of character. The least we can do is be civil to each other as we honor him in this difficult time."

"I don't mean to divert here, but isn't anyone else gonna point out how bad it looks to be standing around doing nothing while an elementary school aged girl sits here smoking in front of us? I'm pretty sure that's child neglect or endangerment or something," Yuka said, frowning as she gestured toward the young elder.

"Should we go get her jello from the cafeteria instead?" Hiroshi asked, indicating himself and his buddy Daisuke.

"No no no... girls her age would rather be reading shoujo manga," Daisuke insisted. "What do you say, Cologne-chan? I can run to the corner store and be back with something in a few minutes."

Cologne responded with all the cantankerousness of an old woman. "Don't insult me with your pitiful attempts to exploit my situation. It's not even that amusing, honestly," she added in a huff. Her dismissive scowl came off as more of a cute pout with her child-like rosy cheeks puffing out as she turned her nose up at them.

"That's where you're wrong," Hiroshi replied. "I am so very amused right now."

"Are you sure you're not interested? Even if I brought you a slice-of-life romantic drama with magical girls?" Daisuke pressed.

There was a pregnant pause before Cologne finally relented. "Oh fine, if it will shut you up and get you out of here for a while, then go on. But don't bring me anything so frilly. I'm way more into the giant mecha. And bring me back some strawberry Pocky while you're at it," she added.

There was a moment of surprise and collective mirth among most of those gathered before the duo of class clowns excused themselves.

As the two disappeared down the hospital corridor, however, the levity was broken when the boom of an explosion was felt, more than heard, and caused the floor beneath them to rumble. The sound and shockwave immediately followed by blowing out the windows and showering everyone in shards of glass. The Nerima residents had enough experience with explosions and the presence of mind to protect themselves from the worst injuries, of course.

"What the hell was that?" Akane asked, slowly dropping her arms from guarding her face.

"It's the match between Goku and Junior," Cologne said, a whisper of awe slipping through as she refocused her senses on their battle.

"Holy shit... come look at this, guys," Sayuri said, holding the remains of hanging blinds aside as she peered through the blown out windows. "The mountain range... it's just gone."

"It's probably only going to get worse," Ukyo interjected, sounding rather grim. "Goku told me about how Junior is really a reincarnation of a demon king named Piccolo. He almost completely took over the world about a year before our planets got involved with each other. Now he's out for Goku's blood and also to finish what he couldn't last time."

Clearly it was more serious than Cologne had originally thought. With the amount of raw energy she had felt released during that explosion already being far beyond anything either Ranma or Saffron had generated at the peak of their clash., it was possible the entire chain of Papaya Islands could be flattened before it was over. It would be nearly impossible to organize an evacuation of the population at this point, though, which meant there was only one thing to be done. "Shampoo," she started in her best authoritative voice – causing her grandchild to snap to attention. "You and I will go help contain this. The collateral damage mustn't spread any further than the tournament grounds. Especially not while Ranma is relying on this hospital remaining intact enough for the doctors to keep working."

Shampoo nodded her assent, following her great grandmother to the edge of the window frame in preparation to jump onto the rooftop highway spread out across the city. Before either she or the little girl could leap, however, both were gripped by the back of their tunics and held in place.

"I'll get you there faster," Herb said, adjusting his grip and blasting off with the two girls in hand before either could protest.

OoooooO

It was utter chaos. Piccolo had just announced his true identity and intentions to the audience following the exchange between he and Goku that had resulted in the landscape north of the city being erased. The people were currently scattered and flocking in smaller groups toward the few emergency exits present while the green man laughed out loud, luxuriating in the panic he had caused.

Bulma clenched her fists, watching from the sidelines, as she and the rest of Goku's friends tensed up just in case they were called upon to intervene. They were literally the only remaining observers if one didn't count the helicopters and drones above that were tasked with maintaining a livestream.

"This is actually more entertaining than I originally imagined, Son Goku," Piccolo said, spreading his arms wide while displaying a toothy grin. "Inflicting my revenge is made even more grand when the entirety of two worlds are watching. How does it feel to know that you're rendered essentially useless now that I've swallowed Kami's sake bottle, by the way?"

"You think that's gonna stop me?" Goku asked, maintaining a confident grin. "I'm still warming up."

Piccolo took a moment to laugh even harder before composing himself enough to speak. "The only reason I haven't crushed you like the annoying bug you are yet is because I wish to savor every moment of this. Believe me when I say I could end you at anytime."

"Prove it," Goku said, suddenly very serious. "Or are you too turkey to try?"

"It's chicken, Goku! The proper saying is chicken!" Bulma yelled, with her hands cupping the sides of her mouth for added effect.

"Mm... chicken..." Goku said, momentarily distracted by images of buckets upon buckets of fried, grilled and rotisserie appearing in his head.

Piccolo capitalized on the distraction and flickered inside of his defense to land a devastating blow to his gut. "Focus, Goku!" he yelled, following up with a quick round of jabs that ended with a thundering upper cut to his chin – which sent the orange clad man rocketing into the sky. "I can't believe my father was defeated by the likes of you!" he added, launching his arms into extended flight while simultaneously growing his hands enough to catch his target inside an over-sized clap. "You're nothing but a joke!" he shouted, rounding out his combination by growing the rest of his body to match the size of his hands. "And, now, I'm gonna make your death a punchline," he growled, in a deep baritone, as he began squeezing the life out of the proportionally tiny person within his grip.

OoooooO

Herb's eyes widened when he saw the giant form of Piccolo suddenly erupt to tower over the skyline as they neared the edge of the city and crossed the water to budokai island. The surprise almost made him lose his grip on the two girls. "Holy shit... he's more than twice as big as he was when Ranma-"

"Stay focused," Cologne said, cutting him off. "Set us down on the beach just outside the tournament complex. We're going to need to be in the water for this to work."

"For what to work?" Herb asked, adjusting their trajectory as he spoke.

"You'll see in a few minutes," Cologne replied. "Shampoo, I'm going to need your A-game ready because I'm about to ask you to help me perform an advanced technique that you're technically still years away from being ready for. Can I count on you?"

"Airen and the rest of these islands could be blown away if I don't so there's really no choice, is there?" she stated, rhetorically.

As soon as Herb dropped them off, Cologne lead her grandchild into the shallow water of the shoreline just deep enough to let the lapping waves cover their feet. "Herb, go make sure Goku's friends get clear and bring them back here, if you could. It won't hurt to have extra protection just in case Piccolo discovers what we're up to."

"You're really enjoying bossing me around, aren't you?" Herb asked, giving her an accusing look while folding his arms over his chest.

"Tremendously," Cologne replied, smirking. "And be quick about it, will you?"

Herb shot her an annoyed glare before taking to the air and clearing the walls surrounding the budokai grounds. It only took him a moment to spot the group of familiar faces huddled together on the observation deck. They were shouting at the towering green man as he appeared to be struggling to keep his hands closed.

Sneaking around the perimeter, he alighted onto the platform just behind the small assembly and cleared his throat, loudly, to get their attention. The small monk, Krillin if he remembered correctly, was the first to notice him and turn around.

"Guys!" Krillin said, elbowing the old perv beside him as he yelled over the rest of them. "It's Ranma's friend!"

When Roshi turned around, Herb had to suppress the warring urges to either vomit or lash out to remind the man how disliked he was. The heiress, who was next, forestalled both by immediately accosting him, however.

"Where's Ranma? Is he okay?" Bulma asked, gripping Herb by the shoulders. She was definitely stronger than she looked.

"Relax, he's at the hospital just across the water - on the big island," Herb replied. "That explosion from earlier shook the city, though. A few of us came back to try and keep the damage from spreading. Since you're all fighters, Cologne wants you to help me guard her and Shampoo while they perform some mysterious magic technique to contain things."

"How strong is this magic of theirs?" Roshi asked, donning his serious 'sensei' face. "If Goku doesn't beat Piccolo we'll need some way to immobilize him long enough for me to use my sealing technique."

"Ask them yourself, you disgusting old fart. You guys coming or not?" Herb asked, growing quite impatient.

"Lead the way," Bulma said.

The trio of Goku's friends followed him quickly back over the wall and down to the beach where he had left Cologne and Shampoo.

When they arrived, the two amazons were levitating just above the water and surrounded by a thin orb of pearlescent energy as they held hands and chanted softly with their eyes closed. The waves beneath them were diverted by the bottom portion of it and Herb could see it slowly create a clearing of sand, rocks and shells as it expanded outward. The growing sphere of energy swelled further and wavered like a child's soap bubble about to pop, before abruptly splitting. The sudden change pulled the two lavender haired girls apart and into their own bubbles.

The chanting stopped and Cologne opened her eyes. "Herb, you must move Shampoo to the opposite side of this island so we can complete our spell. You'll have to go around, rather than over, and keep her near the water or risk derailing the technique. Shampoo is deep in trance trying to focus on controlling her energy the way I just showed her."

"Wait a second. Why should I be the one responsible for potentially messing things up?" he protested.

"As a Jusenkyo cursed individual, you're the only one here besides me who can touch her mana sphere without immediately destroying it. And, since I'm otherwise occupied with the other half of this spell, you'll need to touch it in order to push her to the other side of the island like I instructed. Any other gripes or complaints?" she asked.

Herb scowled but otherwise put up no further protest. He took to the air to avoid stepping into the water but found that, as soon as he touched the sphere, the curse triggered anyway. "You knew this would happen, didn't you?" she deadpanned, rhetorically.

Cologne's mirthful cackle came across as even more disturbing than usual due to her child-like state and Herb shivered on impulse. "Will one of you please go with them? I'm a stickler for balancing numbers," the young elder added.

"Not the old man or the monk!" Herb yelled.

"Hey, why are you lumping me in with him?" Krillin said, offended. "I never tried to grope you or anything?"

Roshi was conspicuously quiet. Probably because he knew he had no leg to stand on.

"Don't act like you never sat down with Roshi to watch the aerobics channel at Kame House," Bulma said, accusingly. "Launch has you on video."

"Eh... hehe," Krillin chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Point taken."

"In any case, I'd rather not take my chances alone with a man when I'm like this, if it's all the same to you," Herb said, curtly.

"Well, let's go then," Bulma sighed, gathering herself and joining Herb in the air.

Herb acknowledged her with a glance before adjusting her grip on Shampoo's bubble and then nodded when she was ready. The two blasted off up the shoreline while making sure to keep their flight low and fast.

OoooooO

Goku had his body nearly extended to full length, by now, as he pushed back against the clamping force of Piccolo's crushing grip. His knees and elbows were caught in a back and forth struggle while he fought to overcome that final bit of resistance.

"Look at that," Piccolo boomed, dousing him in hot breath. "Your friends have abandoned you, Goku. Now it's just you and me. There's no shame in giving up when there's nobody around to see it. Go ahead. I won't judge you."

"As if I'd... ever... do something like... THAT!" Goku shouted, with one last heave, as his strength finally managed to thrust Piccolo's hands wide open. He immediately grasped for a giant green finger to latch onto and used it as leverage to perform an impossible over the shoulder throw.

Piccolo's back crashed against the already battle scarred arena tile and ensured it's utter destruction. He yelped in shock, mouth wide open, as he tried to fathom the force Goku must have mustered to accomplish such a feat. His yelp barely escaped before it was replaced by a choked gagging. Something had jumped down his throat against his will!

Goku ignored the disgustingly slimy and humid surroundings and he descended deeper into the recesses of his greatest enemy. He made sure to do as much damage as possible on his way to the stomach and only stopped when he found the little sake bottle with the sealing inscription on it. Gripping Kami's container, he clawed himself back up the way he had come and yanked on the dangly bit at the back of Piccolo's throat to trigger an evacuation. He curled up into a ball to endure the sudden rush of force that ejected him and his cargo back into the world. Once he felt the fresh air hit his body, he shot a Kamehameha into one of Piccolo's eyes using his feet and capitalized on the thrust to gain him some distance.

"Damn you!" Piccolo growled, swiping recklessly in the air as he used his other hand to nurse his injured eye.

Goku caught himself mid-air and used the bukujutsu to stay afloat. "Hehe... I bet you thought I was just an idiot without a plan. Guess you don't know me as well as you thought," he added, before pulling the cork off of Kami's bottle and tossing it a safe distance away from the ring.

"I do now, you devious son of a bitch," Piccolo snapped, willing himself back to normal size. "I won't underestimate you again," he added, begrudgingly, as he tore off the remnants of his tattered shirt.

The energy released from the sake bottle had finally coalesced, at this point, and Kami stumbled to his feet out of the vortex onto the grass beside the crumbling arena. He took a moment to gather his wits before looking around and processing the state of things. Rubble was everywhere and the people were gone. Both Goku and Piccolo had lost their shirts while also looking like they'd taken a tumble through a washing machine on spin cycle.

"Hello again, brother," Piccolo said, dripping acid, as he glared at Kami. "You're just in time to watch me disembowel your pupil. Have a seat, there's plenty of space."

Kami grimaced, tensing up and opening his mouth to reply in kind but, before he could, a sudden chill swept across the entire area – causing both him and the two combatants to flinch in response. Immediately following that, a pearlescent sheet of energy fell across the sky and solidified into a dome spanning the entire breadth of budokai island. "W-what is this?"

"Someone is trying to help you guys against me," Piccolo said, deducing the obvious. "Well, it doesn't matter. After I kill Goku, I'll track down whoever is responsible for this and do the same to them."

"You won't get the chance," an echoing voice said, seeming to come from everywhere at once. At nearly the same moment, a cloud of water vapor condensed into the form of a little lavender haired girl in green robes. She was unnervingly calm as she eyeballed the two green men. "So, you and Kami really are related then?" she asked.

"Hi, Cologne-chan!" Goku said, waving and smiling at the girl he remembered from earlier in the day. She had rescued lunch by hosting them at her ramen stand. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Goku," she replied, nodding her head in respect. "My son-in-law, Ranma, is at the hospital in critical condition because of Piccolo. The doctors are trying to save her life but this battle threatens to sink South City, along with the entire chain of Papaya Islands."

"Don't worry," Goku said, reassuringly. "I was just about to wrap things up. If you don't mind, I'd like to take care of this myself."

"Enough of this!" Piccolo yelled, throwing a simple hand blast at the girl. It succeeded in hitting her but the only effect was to simply scatter her back into vapor. She reformed just as quickly, much to his annoyance.

"I'm just a projection but, go ahead; waste your energy trying to shut me up," she replied, smiling amusedly. When all she got from her attacker was a clipped growl, she carried on. "As I was about to say, Goku, I'm not here to directly intervene in the outcome of your battle – although, I do hope you win. I simply came to tell you to avoid touching the dome or hitting it with ki blasts as that will result in you suffering negative effects. I'm just trying to contain the damage is all."

"I guess that's fair," Goku said, shrugging.

"Can we get on with this?" Piccolo said through gritted teeth.

"Sure," Cologne said, lifting a hand to wave goodbye. "Ja ne." She dissolved back into wispy vapor after that.

"I'm really starting to hate your friends almost as much as you, ya know," Piccolo said, sliding his foot and adjusting his body to correct his stance.

"Oh, come on," Goku said, doing the same. "You don't even know her."

"Neither do you! I know, for a fact, you only just met her a couple of hours ago!" Piccolo said, his voice a mix of anger and exasperation. "I have extremely sensitive hearing in case you haven't noticed the pointy ears!"

"She makes really good ramen! What else is there to know?" Goku replied, with equal intensity.

Energy crackled around the two combatants as they charged up in preparation for power moves. Dust and debris blew about the demolished arena as they faced off. Announcer-san, peeking out from behind a collapsed wall, used a shaky arm to lift the mic to his mouth and provide commentary. His voice was uncharacteristically subdued as he spoke. "Ladies and gentlemen of our televised audience; If you're still tuning in, this looks to be the final showdown between our two finalists. The ring is largely destroyed, so deciding the match on out of bounds is unlikely. Our winner will have to be the last man standing."

On an unseen cue, the two lunged at each other. Their exchange was largely a blur punctuated by thunderclaps in rapid succession which, at the end, left Piccolo staggered. Goku jumped then twisted his body into an aerial maneuver which caught Piccolo's face with a left elbow, followed by a right fist, followed by a right leg shin to the side of his head as Goku completed a full spin ending with the momentum packed kick. Before Piccolo had fallen to the ground, Goku had already leaped high into the air to position himself for his signature finisher.

"Ka...me...ha...me...HAAAA!" the top turtle school pupil yelled as he thrust his beam attack straight down at the son of the demon king. With Kami out of the way, he was finally able to pull out nearly all of the stops he'd been using.

Piccolo's jarred head cleared just enough to register the inevitable. With no time to mount a defense, he took the full brunt of Goku's attack and was flattened so deeply into the earth that the entire budokai complex was replaced by a custom made crater just for him. He blacked out before it was over.

The shockwave of Goku's exploding attack was absorbed by the dome, causing it to vibrate violently before collapsing entirely.

On the other side of the island, Shampoo was forcibly ejected from her sphere (which collapsed along with the dome) and sent skidding across the shoreline. Bulma managed to get ahead of her and catch the girl, now a sopping wet cat, before she got too far. The bluenette took a moment to register the fact that Ranma's wife had just been replaced with a lavender cat with cute bangs. "Does everyone from your planet have some sort of odd transformational curse?"

Herb landed beside her and let out a low whistle as she processed the situation. "No, actually, we unlucky few just seem to be drawn together for whatever reason. Anyway, that was a bust. I guess the containment spell is only as strong as it's weakest link, huh."

"I don't think it matters much, actually," Bulma said, seeming to space out. "If what I'm sensing is right, Piccolo is knocked out. I'm still getting used to this, though, so we should go make sure."

As the two girls and unconscious cat blasted off toward the epicenter, one ten year old amazonian elder and two turtle school practitioners made their way in as well.

"You did it, Goku," Kami said, approaching the edge of the crater as the victor alighted back to the earth right beside him.

"Hehe," Goku chuckled, rubbing his nose and giving a thumbs up with the other hand.

"Is it over?" Krillin asked as he, Roshi and Cologne arrived next since they were the closest.

"Yep," Goku said, pointing down to the hole in which Piccolo lay. The prone demon was partially covered in dirt and sand – no longer an immediate threat.

"Good going, Goku!" Roshi said, clapping the younger man on the back as he stepped up beside him. "You're a true hero, my boy. If only my master could've lived to see the day that a human was able to dominate Piccolo without needing to resort to the Mafuba..."

"What's next?" Cologne asked, finding her own spot at the crater's edge. "Knocking him out isn't exactly a permanent solution."

"Are you guys going to finish him off or what?" Bulma shouted as she approached with Herb in tow. She landed beside Cologne and gently handed the feline Shampoo off to her grandmother. "She got thrown but seems okay."

"Thank you, child," Cologne said.

"Are you crazy? We can't kill him," Goku argued. "Kami would die if we did. Which would mean the dragonballs would stop working, right?" he asked, looking to the older green man for confirmation. "Besides, this Piccolo hasn't technically done anything bad enough to deserve that. Sure, he talked a big game, but he didn't kill anyone or take over the world. Doesn't he deserve a chance to be different from his father?"

"The dragonballs will be fine as long as I transfer ownership of them to another worthy individual," Kami said, a look of serious contemplation on his wrinkled face. "Perhaps the world has suffered enough terror from the likes of my kind. It seems that in my mission to fulfill the role of god of this world, I also inadvertently created the devil. If dying is what I must to do to finally rid this planet of the plague I unleashed upon it, then so be it."

"Kami, don't do this," Goku implored. "Isn't there another way?"

"Actually, there is," Roshi chimed in. "Kami could seal him with the Mafuba. It didn't work before because he was able to overpower you, but now he's defenseless."

During all the debate, Piccolo had begun to stir. When the "M" word was dropped, he had made a full return to the land of consciousness and was none too pleased. In fact, he was terrified. His energy was almost fully depleted so it was guaranteed that he'd be unable to resist even the weakest of the humans gathered around him. "W-wait..." he croaked, struggling to lift his head out of the dirt. "Please... don't lock me away. I'd rather die than suffer through that."

"If you even try to kill him, you'll have to go through me," Goku said, turning on his friends and placing himself between them and Piccolo – arms spread wide.

"Goku, he just tried to kill you!" Bulma yelled. "He nearly succeeded too. You can't just flip on us after that."

"Don't you dare deny me this, Goku!" Piccolo growled, mustering a little strength in his anger. "You have no idea what existence is like being trapped under a seal like that. Death is the better option!"

"No..." Goku said. "I'm pretty sure there's a third option, isn't there Kami?"

"Goku..." Kami said, lowering his voice. "Do you even fully understand what you're suggesting?"

"I know enough to know that the alternatives aren't any better. Choosing between you dying or him being denied a chance to live a different life isn't a real choice at all," Goku replied. "So, what's it gonna be?"

Kami growled slightly before blowing out a sigh. "Alright, fine. Piccolo and I will rejoin."

"Say what?" Piccolo said, going rigid. "Don't even think about it, old man!"

"Piccolo," Kami said, lifting his hands in a placating gesture as he slowly descended the crater. "I'm doing this for you. Your entire existence has been nothing but misery and rejection ever since I cast you out. Perhaps that's why you sought to dominate the world – to force others to accept you. For that, I'm truly sorry. Come back to me, brother, and let us find peace together."

"K-Kami..." Piccolo said, crawling backward with reluctance. He choked on his words for a moment longer before he finally was able to speak. "Will I still be... me?"

"Does it really matter? At this point, we both could benefit from starting with a clean slate. So long as we return to being who we were originally meant to be, we'll have that chance."

Piccolo's face showed a war of emotions which he was embarrassed to have on display for everyone to see. He hung his head to obscure it as best he could until, finally, he came to a decision. Without a word, he lifted an arm and offered his hand to his brother.

"Welcome home," Kami said, just before grasping Piccolo's hand.

A blinding white light blanketed the area, forcing everyone else to look away as the fusion took place. When it was over, a young man very similar in appearance to Piccolo Junior shook his head clear and picked himself up off of the ground. Dusting himself off, he looked around at the gang of humans gathered at his crater's edge with a sullen, almost mournful, expression. "If you'll excuse me, I need to be alone for awhile," he said, offering nothing else before blasting off into a high altitude flight.

The media helicopter, which had somehow managed to stay in the air and avoid destruction, whipped the air into a frenzy as it completed it's descent. Announcer waved them down and pulled the camera crew out so they could follow him over to small group of people. "Son Goku, how does it feel to be champion of the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament?" he asked, shoving the mic into the man's face.

"Uh... well, pretty good, I guess," he replied, managing a grin. "I've been trying for years to get the title so..."

"Can he do this later?" Bulma asked the announcer, stepping in front of the camera and blocking the mic with her hand. "Ranma is still in the hospital. Don't you think we should go check on him, Goku?"

"Oh! Right, sorry Announcer-san. We should really get going," he said before allowing himself to be lead away by the bluenette.

"I've got a hovercraft with enough space for everyone if you guys want a ride back to South City," Bulma said to the group of fighters as she removed her capsule case from a pocket inside her coat and withdrew said hovercraft.

OoooooO

Ranma slowly came around to consciousness, groggily opening her eyes, and was immediately assaulted with florescent lighting made worse by sterile white surfaces that emphasized the brightness of everything. A dull, but steadily growing, ache permeated every centimeter of her body and she looked down to see herself nearly cocooned inside of a body cast with wires suspended from a rigging to keep her limbs elevated. A warm tropical breeze blew in through the shattered window of her hospital room and the muted television, which was mounted high on the wall, had a news banner scrolling across the bottom of the screen with sensationalized headlines talking about another world crisis averted.

A speaker on the machine she was hooked to suddenly sprung to life, with a chime, followed by a polite feminine voice. "A doctor will be in to see you shortly, Saotome-san. In the meantime, I will inform your guests that you've regained consciousness. If you need to call a nurse for assistance with anything, simply speak in the direction of the audio unit."

Ranma cleared her throat and her head as best she could before replying. "I need to pee."

"Miss Saotome, you've been fitted with a catheter so feel free to relieve yourself as you please," the woman replied.

"Oh. So that's what that is," Ranma deadpanned, none too pleased to realize the stinging irritation from her crotch area was by design.

After an awkward battle with her bladder and several minutes, the door to her room swung open to allow the entry of who she assumed was the doctor. It was a brunette woman with a kind face, perhaps a few years older than her own mother. She held a clipboard with a few sheets of paper attached in her hands and smiled softly but Ranma still saw the grimness she was trying to mask.

"Saotome-san... may I call you Ranma?" the woman asked, politely.

"Sure," Ranma replied, tentatively.

"I'm Denele Tabbers, your primary physician. Let me first say what an honor it is to meet you. What you did on Embassy Station is... well... you've got a lot of fans in this hospital – myself included. My son's class was up there when everything went down and he told me that all of them would've suffocated if not for you. What I'm trying to say is that I'm your debt," the woman said, bowing deeply.

"Hey, no need for that, Doc," Ranma replied, pushing down the bit of pride she felt swelling in her chest. "I was just in the right place at the right time."

"I understand. But not everyone could've done what you did." Denele paused, appearing pensive, as she glanced between the clipboard and Ranma.

"Lay it on me, Doc," Ranma said, not missing a beat. "Whatever bad news you got for me, I promise I can handle it."

"It's not bad, per se... just complicated," the doctor replied. "You see, we rushed you into emergency surgery to stop your internal bleeding and set your bones as fast as we could. You've actually got a more than eighty percent chance of making a full recovery – which is good."

"I'm sensing a 'but' in there somewhere..." Ranma said, looking concerned.

"Yes, there is one of those," Denele replied, reluctantly. "We, uh... we didn't fully understand the scope of your condition when we operated, unfortunately. You see, ki and magic are still things modern medicine has only just begun to study seriously – thanks to recent events bringing such things to light. As a consequence of that, the surgical team used traditional methods to put you back together."

"Meaning?" Ranma probed.

"Meaning the metal and composite implements we used to reinforce your skeletal structure aren't guaranteed to adapt to your other form," Denele finished, suppressing her cringe.

"Are you saying I can't become a guy again?" Ranma asked, feeling the blood drain from her face.

"No, I'm not saying that," Denele assured her. "However, if you changed, the shifting skeletal and muscular structure is likely to move the artificial components into places that would cause you debilitating pain from contacting nerve clusters. The best case scenario would make moving around painful and definitely stop you from practicing martial arts. In the worst case, you could risk moving in such a way that you lose feeling in certain parts of your body. Barring the sort of magical intervention that we just don't yet have a recommendation for, my advice is for you to avoid changing indefinitely. I'm so sorry."

It started as a low chuckle but quickly grew to full blown belly laughter. Of course, the pain in her ribs forced Ranma to check herself and the soprano notes she exhaled were cut short. "Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to rely on the dragonballs."

"The dragon's what?" Denele asked, confused.

"Uh... maybe I'll explain it to you another time. In any case, cheer up, Doc. I'm not without hope, so you shouldn't be either. And... thank you for taking care of me," Ranma added, sincerely.

OoooooO

(Post Notes)

Sup, Gs? Long time, no update. Yeah, yeah... hate me all you want. But RL has been crazy so... BLAH! I only write for fun, you know. And it's hard to have fun when being stressed out and in pain.

Anyway, realness aside...

"Holy cranberry! An early fusion from Piccolo and Kami? What are you thinking, Shoes? This could blow up the whole order of things!"

That's the point, padawans. I suffered through adapting a rehash of Goku beating Piccolo in the 23rd budokai so there had to be some reward. And, yes, my interpretation of Goku is inspired by DBZA.

"But it basically ensures Raditz will be killed without requiring Goku's sacrifice – which he can't learn the Kaioken without! You'll doom the Z fighters and the Nerima Wrecking Crew when Vegeta and Nappa arrive!"

Uh... yeah, about that... my general outline requires a significant departure from canon events to realize the goal that spawned this story in the first place, so... deal with it? I'm not, by any means, confirming the success or failure of the Z fighters. I'm simply advising you readers to keep an open mind.

"We hate you, Shoes..."

Well, maybe you guys just need to laugh that off. Brownie points to whoever is first to decode the super obvious anagram that is Ranma's doctor! Good luck!

- Shoes