Author's note: I don't own Severus Snape or Lucius Malfoy, although I
really wish I did. The writing and slashy goodness comes from me, but the
characters? They belong to the wondrous, idol-worthy JK Rowling (all rights
reserved).
So, this is 17-year-old Lucius thinking about his relationship with Sev. Short, some doom, angst, SLASH, and lots of sweetness. Dedicated to Elissa. R&R please!
SUGAR
Severus fits me.
People say he's short. I don't see it. To me, when my arms are wrapped around his waist, and my head is resting on his shoulder, he is exactly right.
And when, exactly, did I become soppy? About the time I realised what love could be. It's not just about possession, although that's a good deal of it. He is mine, as I am his, and it isn't that I'm jealous of everyone who goes near him, although that's true enough as well. Or even, that he finally poured his heart out to me and all I wanted to do was lay with him curled around me, and keep him safe. It's so much more.
He told me I was his inspiration; his everything. He speaks, and I see the raw emotion in his eyes, and I know his truth. I can see his love, even though he might be afraid of where it might take him, and us.
Of course I've thought about that. I'm afraid too. This feeling; this intensity - it can't last forever, can it? Other things can, and will, get in the way. The world is not ready to accept us, and that's fine for the moment. We could run; lock ourselves away, and I wish to God we didn't have to, but I don't think my feelings will change. Love does not age, as we do. And I might be still a child in my father's eyes, but I'm far from innocent and lost. I know what I want, more than anything, and it transcends money, power and material gain. I never thought that was possible. He gives me so much with one glance or eyebrow quirk, that he need not say anything. And yet. his words are poetry.
What is it to love? What is it to give yourself so freely to another, without pretence or mask of any kind? He brought down my walls, and is the only one who sees me truly. Perhaps I should hate Severus for that. But I couldn't. He makes me think too much. He inspires me. So utterly different from myself, and yet so similar. Binaries, almost.
And he fits. I'm perhaps only a couple of inches taller than he, but I'm larger physically, and it seems so right that I play the alpha male. But sometimes. I want to lie in his arms, my head on his chest, and let him love me, because sometimes I have to let go of this stupid façade.
Why do I keep thinking of things we can never have? I'm constantly looking to the future, when I should be concentrating on now. We can never do things that other people can, and it's going to drive us apart. My head is spinning with 'what ifs', and I can't think straight for thoughts of my love. I'm too young to be this serious about anything, but age and time together doesn't seem to matter, next to what we do with that time. I could lie with him forever. I plan to be.
I'm horribly soppy about all of this. My life is sugarcoated. It isn't me, and I should stop.
But I can't stop, and that's my problem. I love him too much.
So, this is 17-year-old Lucius thinking about his relationship with Sev. Short, some doom, angst, SLASH, and lots of sweetness. Dedicated to Elissa. R&R please!
SUGAR
Severus fits me.
People say he's short. I don't see it. To me, when my arms are wrapped around his waist, and my head is resting on his shoulder, he is exactly right.
And when, exactly, did I become soppy? About the time I realised what love could be. It's not just about possession, although that's a good deal of it. He is mine, as I am his, and it isn't that I'm jealous of everyone who goes near him, although that's true enough as well. Or even, that he finally poured his heart out to me and all I wanted to do was lay with him curled around me, and keep him safe. It's so much more.
He told me I was his inspiration; his everything. He speaks, and I see the raw emotion in his eyes, and I know his truth. I can see his love, even though he might be afraid of where it might take him, and us.
Of course I've thought about that. I'm afraid too. This feeling; this intensity - it can't last forever, can it? Other things can, and will, get in the way. The world is not ready to accept us, and that's fine for the moment. We could run; lock ourselves away, and I wish to God we didn't have to, but I don't think my feelings will change. Love does not age, as we do. And I might be still a child in my father's eyes, but I'm far from innocent and lost. I know what I want, more than anything, and it transcends money, power and material gain. I never thought that was possible. He gives me so much with one glance or eyebrow quirk, that he need not say anything. And yet. his words are poetry.
What is it to love? What is it to give yourself so freely to another, without pretence or mask of any kind? He brought down my walls, and is the only one who sees me truly. Perhaps I should hate Severus for that. But I couldn't. He makes me think too much. He inspires me. So utterly different from myself, and yet so similar. Binaries, almost.
And he fits. I'm perhaps only a couple of inches taller than he, but I'm larger physically, and it seems so right that I play the alpha male. But sometimes. I want to lie in his arms, my head on his chest, and let him love me, because sometimes I have to let go of this stupid façade.
Why do I keep thinking of things we can never have? I'm constantly looking to the future, when I should be concentrating on now. We can never do things that other people can, and it's going to drive us apart. My head is spinning with 'what ifs', and I can't think straight for thoughts of my love. I'm too young to be this serious about anything, but age and time together doesn't seem to matter, next to what we do with that time. I could lie with him forever. I plan to be.
I'm horribly soppy about all of this. My life is sugarcoated. It isn't me, and I should stop.
But I can't stop, and that's my problem. I love him too much.