Black Eyes

Christmas in the Snape household was a dreary affair growing up. Some years, if his father didn't drink away his entire holiday bonus, they'd have a small Christmas tree which Severus and his mother would decorate with snowflakes made from old post. Most years, however, all they had was an ancient faux-pine wreath which they placed on their front door and three red and green stockings with each of their initials embroidered on the front hung above the drawing room fireplace. Unfortunately, the wreath always looked a pathetic facsimile compared to the real evergreen and balsam ones adorning the doors of their neighbors' and nearly every Christmas morning proved to be only a lesson in disappointment for Severus once he looked in his stocking. It rarely held more than a stick of penny candy, a few pieces of chocolate, and a small, cheap toy – like a top, or a set of jacks (never mind the fact he never had a friend to play them with until he was ten).

So it came to no one's surprise once Severus started at Hogwarts he made the decision to celebrate the holidays at school, rather than at home. Thankfully, his mother didn't seem to begrudge him for it. If anything, her letters leading up to Christmas appeared to encourage Severus to stay. She'd done what she could to make Christmas special when he was little, but knew it was nothing compared to what Hogwarts could give him.

However, that all changed in his fifth year when his mother requested his return to Spinner's End for the holidays at the end of November. He was confused at first and sent a couple of letters over the next two weeks trying to get an answer as to why out of her, but his mother returned each inquiry with further, more forceful requests and promises he would be told all if he would just come home. It was clear whatever it was his mother had to share was important, yet, still, Severus hesitated to agree.

When Severus received his final request from his mother just days before the start of Holidays, he realized there was no more room for indecision. Letter in one hand and the supplies necessary to send a reply in the other, he sat himself down in one of the corners of the Slytherin's common room. There, Severus began to weigh his options.

He knew Lily always went home for Christmas and after their… End, he'd been looking forward to a couple of weeks reprieve from her constant presence here at Hogwarts. Severus hated the thought, but if he agreed to his mother's begging, he would likely have to stay in his parents' home for his entire holiday. That was the only way he could guarantee with complete certainty he'd not have to catch so much as a glimpse of her. What a joy that would be; listening to his parents row, having to hide in his room for hours on end as not to disturb his father… Why was he even considering going home again? Oh, yes, because his mother said they needed to have a talk about something of great importance and, for whatever reason, decided it could not be done through letters. This annoyed Severus greatly and he almost chose to refuse out of spite, but, in the end, his curiosity won out.

With great reluctance, he scrawled out on a fresh sheet of parchment that he would be coming home for the holidays.

-o-O-o-

In the intervening days between his last letter to his mum and returning to Spinner's end, Severus spent hours creating a number of theories about what she might have to tell him that was so important it had to be done in person. One was that Mum planned to announce she and Dad were divorcing, but that was quite low on his list of possibilities (even as he wished it were higher). She'd told him in the past she didn't abide by divorce, no matter how difficult a marriage became. You stood by your husband or wife or you were a liar who could never be trusted to follow through on their vows again. Another was that his father could be sick with some Muggle disease, which, given how much he drank and smoked, didn't seem all that impossible. Of his last theories, where he began to grasp at straws, Severus predicted it could be they were moving houses… Though, he was going to be seriously vexed if that was it, because that wasn't any kind of delicate news at all and coming home to hear such mundane news would be a great waste of time.

What turned out to be the news, however, was something Severus never even dreamed of.

-O-

Severus found he was suddenly very aware of everything. The gray in his father's beard, the nip in the air, the rattling of the radiator in the hallway, the uncomfortable feeling of the lumpy sofa cushion beneath his bum. At a loss, Severus chewed on the air for a minute before he finally managed to choke, "You're… Pregnant." Severus frowned. "How?"

His mother's features flickered with irritation. "Do we need to go over how children are made again?"

"No!" he snapped. He bloody well knew how babies were made. But his parents still doing… that seemed inconceivable. They hardly even went a day without rowing when he was home. When did they muster up enough love to commit such an act? "Why?" he asked. "Why now?"

Severus's mother sighed. "It was far from planned. After the miscarriage I had when you were little, the healers–"

"–doctors," his father broke in, now scowling.

His mother nodded. "Yes, the doctors, said it would be nigh impossible to become pregnant again."

Severus recalled the miscarriage. He didn't remember it as such, but it did evoke a memory of holding onto his father's hand as they visited his mother in a Muggle hospital when he was three or so. He recalled being quite confused by his mother's red-rimmed eyes and frightened by the shocking sobriety of his father. It'd been an all-around distressing event that managed to sear itself in his psyche well enough, even now, twelve years later, he still remembered it with surprising clarity.

"Yet here we are," Severus said after a moment.

She nodded.

He glanced at his father. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if the baby was even the man's, but Severus thought better of it. He didn't want to die. "When is it going to be born?" he asked.

"Early August," his mother replied.

Severus fell quiet a moment. He didn't know what to say now. Giving his parents his congratulations didn't seem right. Neither his mum or his dad looked happy to be here in the drawing room informing Severus about his impending sibling. And giving condolences would be far too honest. In the end, he settled on:

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," his mother echoed, a small, sardonic smile twisting her lips.

First thoughts?

Thank you all so very much for reading :)