This is a story that Sir Weston and I thought up together, so we are working on it together. We are both obsessed with dance stories and personality tests (I don't know why, but we are). And we also love the episode of Zoey 101 where they combined the two, so we wanted to do the same with South Park and watch the hilarity ensue. Enjoy. I know we will.

Chapter One – This can only end badly

PC Principal had been principle of the South Park school for at least three years now, and everyone could safely say that he was without a doubt the worst thing that had ever happened to the school. And he wasn't even sort of getting better. Everyone except Strong Woman hated him, and they all looked forward to the day when they could go to high school and forget about the asshole that was PC Principal.

So, no one was excited when PC Principal and Strong Woman called a school assembly to make a "very important announcement." It never ended well when the two called an assembly for an "important announcement." The last time they had a school assembly, a worm whole opened up and a handful of students were never heard from again.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Stan said as he and his friends took seats in the gymnasium.

"Yeah, they look way too excited," Kenny agreed, narrowing his eyes.

"All right, students," PC Principal said once everyone was settled down. "As you all know, the school dance is coming up, and I'm sure a lot of you have been freaking out over who you're going to ask."

"Not really," one student spoke up.

"We still have school dances?" another kid asked.

"Well," Strong Woman said as if they hadn't spoken. "We came up with a solution so this year, you don't have to ask anyone!" The entire student body stared blankly at them instead of applauding wildly like they had been expecting.

"Yeah, that bad feeling is getting worse," Stan muttered to Kyle, who nodded in agreement.

"Ok, listen up," PC Principal continued when he finally decided that no one was going to cheer. "We've set up a test online that asks you various questions about your personality. You know, a personality test. Just fill out the questions with your honest answers, and then a computer will compare your answers to everyone else's and just like that, you have a date to the dance!"

Again, nobody spoke following this speech. Then Craig raised his hand.

"How do we get out of doing this?" he asked.

"Oh, come on, this is going to be fun!" Strong Woman said. "This is your chance to meet someone new who shares the same interests as you!" Craig blinked at her for a moment.

"I already have a boyfriend," he pointed out with a slight hiss to his voice. "I don't need to meet anyone new."

"Too bad," PC Principal replied. "And just so you're all aware, if you decide to take the test, once you get matched up with your partner, you have to go to the dance. Trying to back out because you don't like your partner will destroy their self-esteem, and if you try to not go, you will receive a month of detention."

The entire student body let out a groan at these words. No one got to voice their complaints though as the two ended the assembly and they were all forced to go home. Everyone was grumbling as they started getting out of their seats and making their way out of the gym.

"Well, I can safely say that I am definitely not going to the dance this year," Kyle growled as he exited the gym with his friends close behind him.

"I know, right?" Stan agreed. "I just got back with Wendy! Why can't I just ask her to the dance? These things are stupid enough without having to go with a complete stranger!"

"Aw, come on you wimps," Cartman sneered, slapping Stan upside the head. "It won't be that bad! Kenny and I are going to go!"

"No, I'm not," Kenny pointed out.

"Besides," Cartman continued, ignoring him. "If you really want to go with Wendy, just match your answers with hers and then you're guaranteed to go with her."

"Why on earth would you want to go, Cartman?" Stan wondered glaring at him. "You don't even like dances! Or girls!"

"It's because he obviously wants to try and go with Heidi," Kyle replied, rolling his eyes. Cartman whipped around to glare at him.

"Shut up, Jew!" he snarled. "I couldn't give a fuck about Heidi! I just thought with a personality test I could find the one person who is almost as awesome as I am!" Kyle cocked an eyebrow at him, obviously not convinced.

"I'm pretty sure whoever got matched with you would rather take the month of detention than go to a dance with you," Kyle told him. Cartman continued to glare at him, but didn't offer a rebuttal. Stupid Jew who could always see right through him and his motives!

"Well, you probably don't want to do it because you know you wouldn't get matched up with anyone," Cartman snarled back after a moment. "Or if you did, it would be someone totally lame."

"Whoa, didn't see that insult coming," Kyle growled sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "You want to try pointing out that I'm Jewish too?" Smug bastard.

"I guess I'll try it," Stan said before the argument could escalate. "I mean, I'm pretty sure Wendy's going to do it, she'll try anything, and I'd hate to see her go with some douchebag or something."

"So, you think your girlfriend would only answer the questions the way a douchebag would?" Kenny asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. "Wow, Stan. Really great thing you just implied there." Stan glared at him.

"I'm not saying that," he snapped. "They might steal her answers or something! Did you think of that?" Kenny shrugged.

"I guess I'll do it too," he muttered after a moment. "And only because I want to keep an eye on my sister! Not because I'm hoping to get a hot girl or something."

"How do you know your sister's going to go to the dance?" Kyle wondered.

"Because she's a young girl in her awkward phase who likes to go to dances, but doesn't like asking a boy to go with her," Kenny replied, rolling his eyes. "And now PC Principal's stupid test will give her an excuse to not have to ask someone."

"Yeah, I guess that's true," Kyle consented. They continued to walk on in silence for a long moment. Then Kyle had the sense that someone was staring at him, and he turned to see all three of his friends looking at him hopefully. He stared back at them in confusion. "What?" he asked. Their stupid grins widened and he frowned at them. "Oh no, I am not taking the test just because you guys are all doing it."

"Aw, come on, Kyle!" Cartman whined. "You know we're going to peer pressure you into doing it eventually, so why not just take the test now and get it over with?"

Kyle glared at him before answering. "Because I don't want to go to the dance," he growled. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe I didn't want to go before PC Principal set up this stupid test?"

Cartman blinked at him. "No," he replied.

"Oh, come on, please?" Stan pleaded. "I would have a lot better time going through with this stupid thing if I knew my best friend was doing it as well! And I have to go! I know Wendy's going to make me."

He continued to give his friend big, sad, puppy dog eyes before Kyle finally let out a sigh of defeat. "Fine," he snapped. "I'll look at the questions at least. But that doesn't mean I'm going to actually answer them."

Stan gave him another stupid grin. "I knew I could count on you, buddy," he replied.

"This dance is going to suck," Wendy complained as she, Bebe, Nichole and Heidi came out of the gym.

"Yup," Bebe agreed while barely looking up from her phone.

"I don't want to meet new people," Nichole added. "I had a hard time meeting the people I already know! Besides, I wanted to go with Token, not some random stranger who the principal says is perfect for me! He'll probably just be a black guy!"

"I thought you broke up with Token," Bebe pointed out, looking up from her phone. "You know, when that whole skank hunt thing started?"

"Yeah, but now I'm starting to regret it," Nichole sighed. "I mean, the whole thing was stupid. And it was stupid of us to get mad at all of the boys for the actions of one person."

"And I just got back together with Stan," Wendy said. "I don't want to go with some random person either."

"Then why don't you just not take the test?" Heidi asked.

"Because I know Stan will take it," Wendy sighed. "And there's no way in hell I'm letting him go to a dance with some random bitch."

"Well, I'm going to take it," Heidi told her. "Just so you don't have to suffer alone. I just hope I don't get paired with Eric. That would just be the worst." She shuddered at the thought.

"You're the one who dated him in the first place," Bebe muttered under her breath, going back to her phone. Heidi glared at her before whapping her upside the head.

Nichole opened her mouth to say something else, but she was interrupted by Red running up to them and putting an arm around her and Heidi's shoulders with a big grin on her face.

"Hey girls," she greeted them. "What are we talking about?"

"The school dance," Wendy sighed. "And how stupid the entire thing is."

"Really?" Red asked, blinking in surprise. "I think it's a great idea! I mean, think about it! This dance could be the chance to meet your soul mate! The person you are destined to be with, and all you have to do is take a simple test and go to a dance! You don't even have to ask them yourself! A computer does it for you!"

"That just makes it worse," Heidi grumbled. "I don't want a computer telling me who I should end up with! Especially a computer programmed by someone like PC Principal!"

"You guys are thinking way too hard about this," Bebe pointed out, looking up again. "It's just a dance, it's not like you have to marry whoever you get paired with."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Nichole sighed. "But I'm only taking this test because there's a good chance that I'll get paired with Token."

"As long as I don't get Eric, I'm good," Heidi said. "He's been trying to get back together with me for so long now, and he just won't take a hint. I certainly don't need a dance making him think we're perfect together."

"It can't be that bad," Red reasoned.

"I would rather take the month of detention than go out with Eric again," Heidi replied. Red stared at her in surprise.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you…" Red didn't get to finish her sentence, however, because Heidi angrily turned and hit her upside the head as well. She certainly didn't need to be reminded all the time that she and Cartman used to date, and her friends didn't help with the matter. At least Wendy was sympathetic.

"I guess it won't be too bad," Wendy said, bringing the topic back on track. "I mean, it's not like we have to be glued with whoever we get matched up with. And it wouldn't hurt to at least look at the questions."

"Yeah," Bebe agreed. "I mean, it's just a dance! What's the worst that could happen?"

What's the worst that could happen indeed. That's where I'm going to end this chapter, and my sister will be picking it up in the next chapter. That's basically how we're going to do this. With us alternating. Anyways, tell us what you think of it so far and tell us who you think everyone's going to get paired with. So, in the meantime remember, when attacked by a gang of clowns, go for the juggler.