We're just going to jump to the dinner because otherwise it's just going to be repetitive complaining. Let's see how much this plan isn't going to work!

Chapter 8 – A Very Un-Romantic Dinner

Needless to say, Stan was not looking forward to this dinner. He couldn't think of anything he would less rather do than have dinner with Craig. He stood in front of his mirror, looking himself up and down. While he was dressed nicely, he wasn't really impressed with himself. It's not like he put in a lot of effort for this dinner and he was guessing that his friends didn't either.

Sighing, he checked his watch and saw how late it was getting. Well, time to get this over with. He went down the stairs and left the house, heading towards the school where the dinner was set up. Because the school was cheap and didn't want to have it at a real restaurant.

As he passed Kyle's house, he heard the front door open and looked to see Kyle and Ike stepping out. He stopped to wait for them.

"Hey," Kyle greeted in a stoic voice, "Excited?"

"Oh yeah," Stan replied sarcastically, "I just can't wait to have a romantic dinner with Craig." He looked down at Ike who was dressed much nicer than Kyle. "Oh, hey Ike. Who'd you get paired with?"

"Tricia Tucker," he answered. Stan inhaled sharply.

"Ooh, tough break kid," he said, "I hear she has kind of a mean streak. Also, she's Craig's younger sister, so there's that."

"I don't know, I think I'm tough enough for her," Ike bragged, rolling up his sleeves and showing off his non-existent muscles. Kyle snickered.

"All right, if that's what you have to tell yourself," he sneered. He patted his younger brother on the head and looked at Stan. "Come on," he sighed, "Let's get this over with."

"That's probably what every girl will say that Cartman tries to sleep with," Stan joked, trying to lighten the mood. He was pleased when Kyle's lips curled up.

"Yeah, because fatass could ever get a girl to sleep with him," he sneered.

On their way to the school, they met up with Kenny and Karen. Kenny was dressed much nicer than Stan or Kyle which was really saying something considering he was poor and didn't have a lot of nice clothes. Karen had cleaned up rather well for her date.

"Hey guys," Kenny greeted, "Why do I look better dressed than you?"

"Because we didn't actually want to put in the effort," Stan pointed out. Kenny shrugged.

"Fair enough," he replied.

"Hey Karen, who's your date?" Kyle asked the younger sister. She blushed slightly from being addressed. She always had been shy.

"Um, Dougie O'Conner," she murmured.

"And if Dougie even sort of tries to make a move on my sister he is getting punched by an over protective brother," Kenny warned. Karen gave him a small smile.

Finally they passed Cartman, who looked as though he had been walking to the school slowly on purpose so he wouldn't have to arrive alone. He gave them all a coy smile when he saw them.

"Oh, uh, hey guys. Fancy seeing you guys," he greeted. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"What are you talking about, fatass? We all go the same way to get to school," he pointed out. Cartman glared at him.

"Is that anyway to speak to your date, Kahl?" he asked. Kyle stepped forward and got in his face, growling.

"Can it, Cartman," he hissed, "I don't know how yet, but I know you rigged the tests somehow. I should not have gotten paired with you and I know it's your fault!"

Taking a step back, Cartman looked a little intimidated. "Y-You can't prove anything, Jew!" he muttered nervously, "I don't like this anymore than you do!"

Kyle glared at him a moment more before turning and continuing to storm towards the school. After a moment his friends and younger siblings followed.

…

As Craig and his friends (plus Craig's sister, Tricia,) walked towards the school together, Craig couldn't stop himself from glaring at Clyde. How could a computer match him up with Tweek? As if they had anymore in common than Craig did with the blond! He and Tweek should've never taken this stupid test! Then they could've been home making fun of everyone who had to attend this dinner instead of actually attending the dinner!

"I wish we were going to this dance now instead of a dumb dinner," Token complained next to Craig, "Then we could just get it over with and move on with our lives."

"Tell me about it," Craig grumbled.

"I was really hoping I was going to get Nichole, you know?" Token sighed, "Things have been so awkward between us and every time I try to get back together with her the other girls surround her and form like a force field that make it impossible to talk to her without making things super uncomfortable."

Craig came out of his own self-absorbed rage to give a sympathetic glance to his friend. "I'm sorry dude," he said, "Girls can be the worst. They get so territorial and don't realize you want them to fuck off and it's none of their business. Maybe after this is over you could text Nichole and ask to meet her in private."

Token smiled slightly at Craig. "Thanks man," he said, "I think I'll try that. I never even considered it before."

"When you're worried about something you don't always think rationally," Craig told him, "Especially when you're scared. That's why I always tell Clyde and Jimmy some of the dumb decisions in horror movies could make sense. Fear and worry blocks your rational thought."

"Yeah," Token sighed, "And those girls definitely makes things a lot scarier for me."

"Don't worry, Token," Craig encouraged, nudging him gently, "I believe in you." Token smiled gently at him as Craig looked forward again. Now if only his problems with Clyde and Tweek could be solved as easily.

The group arrived at the school at the same time as Stan's group. Craig scowled as he spotted his rival. He really didn't want to do this. And he hated PC Principal for making them do this. He and his friends walked towards them.

"Hey l-look!" Jimmy exclaimed, "There's Nathan, Mimsy, a-and Timmy!" Timmy had gotten Mimsy as a partner. Nathan frowned when he saw Jimmy hobbling over to them.

"We lost Jimmy," Clyde noted.

"Eh, he'll catch up to us later," Token dismissed with a shrug, "I'm personally kind of hoping Bebe got sick and died so I don't actually have to-"

"Token! Yoohoo! Over here!" a high-pitched voice that could've only come from Bebe rang out, "Get over here, hot stuff!"

With a great sigh, Token started to shuffle slowly towards her. "I'll see you guys later," he muttered over his shoulder.

Craig watched him go before turning back to the group and saw his sister strangling Ike for some reason. He walked over and swatted her hands away. "Stop that!" he scolded.

"Come on," Kyle sighed, holding onto Ike "Let's go get this stupid dinner over with." The group mumbled their agreement and headed inside.

The cafeteria where the dinner was taking place had been transformed to look like a fancy-shmancy diner. Clearly, PC Principal and Strong Woman were trying way too hard. There was low lighting and the long cafeteria tables had been switched out for small, round, two-person tables, one for each couple. Each table had been decorated with a fine table cloth, a vase of various flowers, a reserved card bearing the names of the couple for which the table had been set up, and a lit candle for ambiance. It was all very cheesy.

"This is so gay," Stan muttered.

"Watch it, Marsh," Craig hissed at him.

PC Principal and Strong Woman suddenly came out of the kitchen wearing stupid looking fancy outfits and grinning like idiots.

"Welcome students!" the principal greeted, "to the most romantic dinner of your lives!"

Nearly everyone groaned.

Eh, I'm gonna end the chapter here. It's been too long since this was updated and I'm sure Night would love to describe how the dinner goes. Please leave a comment and look forward to just how horribly the dinner goes!