[1.) My family has been experiencing multiple events involving one member with health issues and I have been attempting to help.

2.) I had a difficult time coming up with realistic pranks for the time period Middle Earth exists in so I just kinda sat here having no clue what to write.

Sorry.]

The rest of the day passed like any other day in Hobbition. Thorin, with a glare directed towards Bilba, left with Gloin to work out his anger. That or to just be away from her, it didn't matter. Little did she know of the plan brewing in the king's mind.

Neither Bilba nor Thorin spoke or even looked toward the other until the next morning.

Bilba woke and cooked up breakfast, the dwarrow sat at the table after being told she didn't require help. Bilba found herself disturbed when Thorin sat at the table and smirked in her direction. She squinted her eyes at him before turning away to make her morning tea. She added finely ground sugar to it and stirred. She took a sip and froze with the cup to her lips.

Thorin only smirked wider when he noticed her pause.

He had replaced the sugar with salt.

He had desecrated the sanctity of her kitchen.

She turned from the counter to face him and, out of spite, drank the entire cup of disgusting liquid. Her eyes staring directly into his own as his smirk dropped into shock, horror, then settled into disgruntlement. She set her cup down and smiled sweetly, the temperature in the room seemed to drop as she spoke. Her voice held a sickly sweet tone,

"Thank you, my lord, for the change to my morning tea. I certainly hadn't though of such a mixture before."

The tension in the room grew thick as the two glared daggers at eachother, Thorin with a frown and Bilba with a terrifying smile that didn't reach her eyes. The dwarrow grew nervous as they glanced to each other. Dwalin seemed amused and muttered to Bofur,

"Where can I find a lass like that?"

Bofur answered a quickly muttered,

"Took clan." before stuffing a loaf a bread into his mouth and skedaddled out of the smial. Balin had his eyes shut and head tilted upwards with an expression of despair. The rest were disturbed but continued to eat their breakfast.

Little did the dwarrow and residents of Hobbition know that they would soon find themselves within the crossfire of what would come to be known as 'The Great War of Tricks'.

Later that day when Thorin returned from the smithy he opened the door to his room and froze. He gazed in horror to find the entire room covered from floor to ceiling, how the bloody hell did it stay on the ceiling?

What was it covered in?

Feathers.

Feathers from, what must have been, every type of bird in Middle Earth. There were so many feathers that they poured out of the door like an avalanche. He could not see anything but feathers.

His face became grim as he growled angrily. He knew he was the one that would have to get rid of the feathers, it was apparently a rule. They all cleaned their own rooms and took turns cleaning shared area's. Thorin mutters curses toward the blasted hobbit princess as he trudged through the smial. His arms were full of feathers with each trip from his room to toss them outside.

Finally, after being able to see the room and the furniture within, he plopped face first onto the bed. Which only made him grumble more when he was stabbed in the face by a stray feather. He fell into a light sleep from which he only roused when his ears were met with the shriek of an angry Bilba Baggins. He smirked to himself as he heard Bilba shouting curses about him from her now feather filled garden.

0000000000000000000

With each day came new pranks and more curses from both parties. Many were caught in the crossfire of the prank war. Poor Balin, the papers he carried, and Thorin became covered in vinegar when he made the mistake of walking next to Thorin when entering the smial. Bilba apologized to Balin profusely when she pulled him aside after his bath.

Gloin had to jump in the river when he walked past a road Bilba travled often only to be covered in honey, and chased by angry bee's not a moment later. Thorin grumbled an apology but did look upset at his prank misfiring.

Dwalin woke to find a set of his clothes sopping wet, not with water, but egg yolk. He burst out laughing before telling the lass she drowned the wrong set. She washed them as an apology.

Gilda stared at her new hobbit styled dress in wonder. Thorin had somehow managed to make the folded dress so stiff that it could pass as a stone slab. She couldn't for the life of her figure out how he did it. He gave her coin to buy a new dress after her husband glared at his King.

Even the hobbit's of the shire were caught unawares.Though many of the smart one's steered clear of both Bilba and Thorin. They knew very well how far Bilba could go in a prank war, she was reigning queen in that subject for near ten years now. Only the young, overconfident tween or those too elderly to run quick enough got caught.

A few were tripped up by Bilba pretending to pull at thin rope across the road. Making young tween, who were running for whatever reason, skid to a stop. Some would take a tumble while others jumped over the non-existent rope. Thorin had only looked at her as though she were foolish.

The older hobbit's found themselves becoming ensnared in a net that would spring up from the ground. The dwarf was quick to get them out of course and got quite a few ear flicks before he removed the trap. Bilbo watched this with a scoff, as if she couldn't see the trap a few feet away, foolish dwarf.

At the end of the second week of nonstop pranks Balin could be found face down at the kitchen table. He only ever muttered,

"Why have you forsaken me?", " I should have stayed in Ered Luin.", and "Royalty are all insane."