Note: I reached a point where I'm so desperate for episode IX that fan material can no longer satisfy my desire. I've begun writing fanfiction just to satisfy my craving for Star Wars material.

This is just for fun so I'm not sure how far I'll go with this story. I have a writing blog at mcqueenwrites . com so please check it out if you get the chance.

She was only supposed to meet him once.

The first meeting was on a jungle planet. In her ship under the rain. Rey sat on a sofa and Ben on a discarded storage crate. His dark uniform completely soaked through. Black hair plastered to his face from the never ending downpour outside.

There were so many things that she wanted to say to him. To yell at him. But all those thoughts and ideas suddenly disappeared once he was there. Looking at her with the same dark sorrowful eyes that she saw when they touched hands.

At first all they did was talk. Both avoiding any issue which would push the other away. But talking soon turned into touching, then touching turned into something else. Whether it was him or her who made the first move...she could no longer remember.

If I don't do it now, then I may never have another chance, was the lame excuse that she made to herself.

He was warm and soft, and it was easy to forget that he was the enemy. It wasn't hard to trick herself into thinking that he wasn't anything other than the conflicted Ben Solo. The man who knew her loneliness, and could connect with her in ways that no one else could.

Soon they were connecting in lots of different ways. In plenty of different locations. A remote moon. His ship. On the way back from missions. All the while doing their best to avoid getting caught by either side.

They were in the middle of a war and either one of them could die the following day, so what point was there to holding back? Every time was supposed to be the last, until the force would connect them again. Drawing them closer and closer towards each other in a dangerous downward spiral.

Rey was fine with things being like that...when she didn't stop to think of the consequences.

But as time went on, it grew harder and harder to look her friends in the face, when she was making plans to meet with the enemy behind their backs.

She hated herself. She hated the lies.

She felt like a fraud. The last Jedi who vowed to take down the First Order, but would run off with their supreme leader as soon as he called.

Rey couldn't keep living like that.

And neither could he.

It was an inevitable confrontation. They fought. With words this time instead of force, but it hurt more than a lightsaber to the face.

He wouldn't join her. She refused to go with him. He was nothing without the First Order. She was nothing to begin with.

"Why won't you leave these people!" Rey yelled in his face. "They're murderous, insane, and are out to control the galaxy!"

"No! You're the one who's holding on!" he cried back. "The Resistance is nothing to you!"

"They're my friends!"

"You barely know them!"

"They're important to me."

"And I'm not?"

"They're not leading a war!"

This time the fight ended with him storming out first. Perhaps because he couldn't stand watching her leave him again.

Rey remained behind and cried. Cursing her own stupidity and foolish thinking. He was cruel, evil, and utterly submerged in darkness. She was a fool for ever thinking that he could change. Her vision of the future was nothing more than a warped delusion. A sneaky trick of the force which lured them together, only to mercilessly torture Rey with her own emotions.

Her sorrow soon changed to anger. And in a fit of rage, she shut Kylo Ren out to the deep reaches of her mind. The connection would never open unless both of them were willing, and she swore to never let him in again.

Rey buried herself within the Resistance and tried to forget him. To burn the image of Ben Solo from her mind, and replace it with the cruel dictator Kylo Ren.

He appeared on the battlefield less after his rise to power, and she'd only known him for a few short months. Without the connection to throw him in her face, it gradually became easier and easier to pretend that she'd never known him at all.

In her mind, there was the period before she knew him, and then the time after they broke up. Everything in between was a black hole that she refused to think about.

Then several weeks later, she discovered a small souvenir of their short courtship.

Positive, flashed the message on the medical droid before she smashed it with the force.

The truth was too hard to comprehend, so Rey went straight into denial. Naively thinking that if she ignored it, then the problem would go away on its own.

Plenty of women miscarriaged on Jakku. Rey had starved for years like them, so she convinced herself that her body was incapable of giving birth. There was no point in thinking about having a baby when its chances of living were slim.

She forced herself to continue on like normal despite the growing life in her stomach. Rey trained, she went on missions, all the while telling herself that she'd be more likely to die in battle then become a mother.

But after five months... it became more difficult to hide. Her friends could no longer ignore the changes in both herself and her body.

They of course threw Finn at her to suss out the truth. Thinking that their close friendship would be enough to make the emotionally damaged Jedi open up.

"Hey, Rey!" He jogged towards her from across an empty hanger, then casually leaned up against the x-wing she was repairing. Trying to look as though nothing was amiss, but the anxiety rolled off him in waves.

Rey didn't need to use the force to know that it was the moment she'd been dreading.

"Hey, Finn," Rey said as calmly as she could. Trying her hardest to be the girl who she was before. The Rey who existed before she met Kylo Ren.

"How are things?"

"Fine," she smiled. "Why do you ask?"

"I dunno, you just seem… different recently."

"Different? How?"

"Well, it's just...you've been kind of down these last few months."

"We're in a war Finn." Rey adjusted the screws as tightly as she could. "People are dying. I have every reason to be kind of down."

"Well, Rose was mentioning..." he said awkwardly like he didn't know the right way to say what was all on their minds. "I mean...I don't know if this is okay for a guy to say… but you have gained a lot of weight… which is strange considering that you don't eat much.. and train all the time.. and there was that stage where you were throwing up a lot a few months back, and then there's the mood swings-"

It was then that the spanner dropped from her hand and clanged against the stone floor.

"Hey," Finn said gently. "Rey, what's wrong?"

She told herself that she could handle it calmly when the time finally came, but instead the tears burst forth. Flowing freely from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to get her emotions under control.

Finn gently led her to some overturned boxes and helped her sit down. Kindly rubbing her back as she cried her heart out.

Rey hated herself for wishing that it should have been a certain someone else instead.

"Rey," said Finn gently. "It's okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You're safe here."

"I'm pregnant, Finn," she said through the sobs.

"Hey, it's okay." He didn't even look surprised. How long had they known? "We all kinda knew anyway. And there's nothing wrong with that! We're all just worried about you. That's all."

"I don't know what to do, Finn."

"I know, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you. No matter what happens." He passed her a rag from his pocket which she used to wipe her face. "How did it happen?" He then realized how strange that sounded. "I mean.. you don't have to tell me all the details... but who's the father of this kid?"

Rey looked at him through tear filled eyes, and for a moment she thought of telling him the truth. That she'd done unthinkable things with their greatest enemy. But as much as she loved Finn, she knew that the others would be less understanding. If the Resistance turned their back on her... she didn't know where else to go.

Rey didn't want to lie to Finn, but the truth was killing her, and burdening him with such a secret was also unfair.

It had to be her responsibility alone.

And so Rey told him the story that she'd been working on for months. Trying her best to mix some truth with the lies in a poor attempt to ease her own guilt. Perhaps if she said it enough, then she'd even begin to believe it herself.

She told him that it had happened on the way back from a mission. One of the contacts recommended going to a bar in town, and after living on Jakku, she just wanted to see what a real bar was like.

She was drinking, he was charming. They went back to her ship and in the morning he was gone. She been too intoxicated to remember much else, other than a tall dark stranger who promised to show her the galaxy.

Rey once thought of making up extra details about her fictional man, but then decided against it. The less she said, the harder it'd be for them to catch her out on her lies.

"Oh, Rey," said Finn once her story was done. "That flyboy really did a number on you, didn't he?"

He did. That was the truth and Rey began to cry harder. She'd been drawn in by those wide eyes and soft voice. But they'd been nothing but a monster waiting below the surface all along.

"Do you want to keep it?" asked Finn when her tears finally dried up. "You must, right? If it's been this long."

"I don't know." Rey threw her hands up into the air with frustration. "I have no idea how to raise a kid. What if… what if I'm a terrible mother… what if they grow up to be a bad person?"

What if they grow up to be like him? Was the question that she couldn't say out loud.

"Oh, Rey. No one would ever end up that way with you there."

"You really think so?"

"Rey, you have me, Rose, Poe, and everyone in the Resistance. You're not alone. We'll help you."

We'll help you. Those words were too similar to the offer that Kylo Ren threw back in her face.

In the end she decided to keep her child. The Resistance didn't have the facilities for an abortion, and Rey felt better about her situation once her friends pledged their support.

"If you're looking for a name, Poe's a great one," laughed the newly appointed general Dameron as he passed her extra rations.

"I made this for you," blushed Rose as she handed Rey a small jumpsuit. "I know it's not much, but I thought that you might need some things, for when the baby comes."

"Thank you," breathed Rey. She almost cried tears of gratitude.

The base was full of single parents who lost their partners in the war, so Rey's situation wasn't so strange. Occasionally there would be the odd person who'd look at her with disdain. But Rey reassured herself that it was better to be seen as a loose girl, than the ex-girlfriend of Kylo Ren.

But there were still times late at night (when the baby was restless and she couldn't sleep) when the loneliness would seep in.

And then she'd feel Ben Solo tugging at her mind from the other side of the galaxy.

But her fear kept him locked away.

She refused to let her child become another tool that he could use to build his evil empire.

Her son didn't look like her, but he didn't look like Kylo Ren either. Just another new born. All small and pink with dark eyes and the faintest wisps of black hair.

Her fears of being found out, or birthing a monster, suddenly seemed insignificant, and disappeared with one look at his innocent face.

"I love you," Rey whispered as she held him in her arms. Wondering if her own parents had ever done the same with her.

"He has your eyes," said Rose as she watched with joy, and the slightest hint of envy. "Have you decided on a name?"

"Jacen." The name seemed familiar to her. Like she'd heard it in a dream. "No family name like me. Just Jacen."

Jacen began to look more like them as he grew older.

Rey was relieved that he hadn't received Kylo Ren's prominent nose or ears. Instead inheriting her own hazel eyes and soft face. So much so that others would soon point out the resemblance at first glance.

"Yep, that's definitely Rey's kid," Finn laughed as he watched a four year old Jacen shovel food into his mouth with his hands.

"Hey!" Rey protested and shoved an elbow into her friend's ribs.

But only she could see the faint hits of Kylo Ren within her son. The shape of his jaw, the curve of his eyebrows, the way that he scrunched up his face whenever he was mad. Had general Organa still been alive, Rey would have been exposed.

Jacen's hair was the same too. All jet black, curly, and soft to touch.

The hair was what got to her more than anything else. It was one of Kylo Ren's most recognizable features, and Rey feared that people would start making connections if she allowed it to grow past her son's ears. She went out of her way to keep it as short as possible, until Jacen almost looked bald.

The kid would often fidget and complain about the constant haircuts. Running away and desperately begging her to let him grow it longer like his friends. But Rey refused to relent.

"Jeez, Rey, what you got against kids and hair," muttered Poe as he watched her shave Jacen's head for the second time that month.

"It's troublesome," said Rey as she held a fidgeting Jacen in place with the force. "He's small and it's difficult to take care of, not to mention lice and other bugs. It's just one less thing to worry about around here."

"But a little longer wouldn't hurt the kid, Rey."

"It's just better this way!" She quickly snapped back, but then regretted losing her temper.

Rey tried to reign in her own paranoia. Not one person had ever hinted to any connection between her child and the supreme leader, but she still made it a personal goal to make Jacen look as little as Kylo Ren as possible.

She encouraged him to play outside until his skin was tanned and freckled. She let him walk around with his face and clothes constantly streaked with dirt.

She barely taught him manners and etiquette, and Jacen became one of the wildest children on the base.

"You need to discipline your kid, Jedi," snapped another mother who'd had enough of Jacen's antics. "The boy is positively feral, he's a bad influence on the other children."

But Rey just nervously laughed back. "He's only going to be a kid once. Why not let him be one with nature?"

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes, but Rey didn't care if she was labeled a bad parent.

The wilder Jacen was, the less chance that anyone would see the resemblance between him and another quiet pale boy, who once followed senator Organa.

The war raged on. Any chance she had at telling the truth, became harder and harder as more people died and resentment towards the First Order grew.

She'd leave her room every morning to find Jacen playing with orphans, who'd no doubt despise him if they ever discovered that it was his father who killed their parents.

The Resistance had hit another low. Not as bad as Crait, but bad nonetheless. Their members were deserting in droves, and it was difficult to gather support as more planets sided with the First Order to save themselves.

It was becoming a war of ideology and the legend of Luke Skywalker was fading. They needed a new beacon of hope, and according to Poe, Rey was the only one who could do it.

"But I'm not even a real Jedi, Poe," she complained to the general when he told her his plan. "And since Jacen was born, I haven't really trained at all."

"But you can use the force, Rey, and that's enough. As long as we have you, hope will spread."

And so she became a poor imitation of a diplomatic Jedi envoy. Sent to meet tribal leaders and kings of distant worlds. Praising the Resistance and rattling off promises of freedom and democracy for all.

They would watch her displays of the force with awe, then pour out their hopes and dreams for a new Jedi order like the ones of old.

"Madam Jedi, you are our light in the darkness," said one king who gave them a hundred ships. "With you we can bring balance to the galaxy and defeat the wicked Kylo Ren."

Defeat Kylo Ren, they'd all say. Like it was expected that she would shove a lightsaber through his chest and end the war. She was the only one with the force powers to match him, but had no desire to murder their greatest foe.

What would they say if they knew it was his heir who trailed behind her?

No one could understand what she was going through. The pressure was overwhelming. So much so that she was beginning to understand why Luke Skywalker threw himself into self imposed exile.

Rey often thought of running away. Going to live on some remote moon with Jacen where she wouldn't have to lie or pretend to be something she wasn't. Where she wouldn't have to live in fear of someone discovering the truth.

But then she'd see the way her son watched in awe and mimicked her Jedi moves. Looking up to her like she was the most important thing in the galaxy.

It was then that Rey told herself just to grin and bare it. To accept everyone's hopes and dreams. If she worked just a little harder, pretended a little longer, she could build a better world for herself and her son.

But at night when it was dark, and she was all alone, her thoughts still went back to him. Just like they had every night since they parted. She'd remember the times when Ben was gentle, kind, and understood her more than anyone else.

And then she'd feel shame for wanting to meet him again.

I know, I feel it too, said his soft voice in her mind from across the stars.

Jacen initially showed little interest in knowing about his father. He instead turned to other role models such as Finn and Poe, and probably spent the first few years of his life assuming one of them was his father, but by the time he was five he was beginning to catch on.

Then the inevitable question finally came.

"Mom, where is dad?" He asked while she was cutting his hair.

It was so much of a shock that Rey almost sliced off his ear with her scissors.

"Why are you asking such a thing?" She tried her best to remain as calm as possible.

"Well... Sola's dad died fighting the first order, but she still talks about him sometimes, but no one ever talks about my dad. Do I have a dad?" he asked quizzically.

"Of course Jacen." She smiled. "But he's far away now."

"When's he coming back?"

"He's very busy Jacen. He probably won't come back."

Rey realized how cold that sounded, but Jacen was still too young to understand the full implications of those words.

"What does he like?"

Ruling the galaxy, didn't seem like an appropriate answer. "Spaceships," she said instead.

"Is he a pilot?"

"Sometimes."

"What's his favorite color?"

"Black, I suppose."

"Does he have a lightsaber like you?"

"Yes- No, no of course not."

The conversation was becoming too real and she needed to put an end to it before she let something else slip. She took a moment to calmly inhale and compose herself.

"I wish I could tell you more about him, Jacen. But it was so long ago and I only knew him for a very short time. There really isn't much to say."

She's lying, was the first thought that shot through his mind. He couldn't explain why.

Jacen was then hit by the image of a man dressed in black in the snow. His long black hair whipped around his face in the strong wind. Dark eyes wide in surprise as they reflected the bright light of a blue lightsaber.

But as soon as he saw the vision, it was gone in an instant.

His mother froze, like she instantly knew that he'd pulled the thought from her mind.

Rey put down the scissors then walked around to face her son. She then dropped to his level and took his hands within her own.

"Jacen listen," said Rey. It was then that he noticed that his mother was shaking. "You have me, Poe, Finn, Rose, and everyone in the Resistance. We're your family now and we all love you very much. It's better to focus on what you have, then spend a lifetime waiting on someone who's not coming back."

Jacen remembered his mother's stories of Jakku. How she spent over fifteen years waiting on her family which never came. He thought that his father was kind of like that.

Forget. Please forget about him. Think of us instead. The thought was inexplicably strong, like his mother was pushing it into him through the force.

All of a sudden the father that he desperately wanted to know didn't matter.

Despite her desperate plea to Jacen to forget his father, Rey only lasted a few more months before she cracked and let the man into her mind.

But only when it was dark and lonely and she could no longer stand to be inside her own head.

And she could pretend that it was all just a dream.

They would stare at each other as they touched themselves. As though it had only been days since they last parted. Rey would listen to his soft voice and obscene descriptions of what he wanted to do to her body. Imagining his real hands on her as she came.

But there were rules this time. She wouldn't go to him, and he wouldn't come to her. She would tell him nothing of the Resistance and he would tell her none of the First Order's plans. They would pretend that they existed in their own space apart from reality, and nothing they did together mattered in the real world.

Occasionally he would break the rules, by spewing out First Order propaganda in a poor attempt to convert her. Sometimes it would be her mentioning his family which would cause him to break and shut her out.

But after a few months they'd be back to square one.

Quietly touching themselves in the dark as they pretended not to need each other.

For some reason it suddenly seemed like the right time to tell Ben. Across a dark room when he was galaxies away and incapable of lashing out or hunting her down.

Maybe she was just tired of keeping it a secret, or perhaps she wanted to shock him into change.

"Ben," Rey said softly. The words came more easily than she expected, as though she was destined to say them. "After we were together... I had a son."

"I know," he said without any hesitation.

Rey's breath caught in her throat. Shocked that he already knew. "If you knew all along, then why didn't you say anything?"

"You know why," he whispered back.

And then she could feel it. Emotions and thoughts that he couldn't voice out loud.

He thought that he was a poison that destroyed anything he touched. A monster who murdered his own father and destroyed countless worlds. Someone like him was incapable of being loved.

Any child of his would be infinitely better off without him in their life.

"You were right," his voice trembled as his eyes became wet. "You were right to keep him away."

"Oh, Ben," she said softly and reached out to hold his hand from across the galaxy.

"Things are better this way," he murmured back.

The war continued for years without any end. They would finally have a break through and push the First Order back, only to have the enemy regroup and retaliate. Then the Resistance would be on the run for months until they found more support and fought back. It was a constant push and pull with no end in sight.

Jacen was almost seven and the children his age knew nothing other than war.

Rey knew that it was time for change. She could feel it in her bones. There had to be other ways to fight the First Order. Not just with blasters and bombs.

She confronted Ben about her idea the next time they met.

The war was affecting him too, but he refused to let anyone but her see it. He sat curled up in a large chair on some star destroyer. Broken and vulnerable, nothing like the cold dictator who appeared on the propaganda holos.

"Ben, this can't continue, it's been years. The galaxy is falling apart. I think..." She almost lost the courage to say what she needed to. "I think we need to stop destroying each other… and find a way to work together."

Perhaps Rose's long speeches of saving what they love had affected her, or perhaps she was also influenced by her own feelings about the Supreme Leader.

Rey expected him to quickly reject her idea, like he had countless times before. But instead Ben obediently nodded, like he'd also come to the same conclusion.

Rey didn't know what else to say after that. They sat there in silence as he stared at something to his left which she couldn't see.

"I can't do it on my own," Ben said quietly. Voice strained as though the words caused him great pain. "I… I need you to help me."

"How, Ben?"

"I need you here."

"Ben, you know that I can't-"

"Please, Rey," and with those words a part of her broke down. "Even if it's only for a short while. Please help me."

Rey sighed. She still despised the First Order. Going to him went against everything she stood for, but she couldn't bring herself to say no again.

"If I come to you, then I need you to give up on the Resistance. I can't help you while your killing my friends."

"That..can be done."

"Then if you do that, I'll go to you. I don't know how yet, but-"

He finished the sentence for her. "We'll find a way."

She reached out and took his hand. It was a poor imitation of the real thing. All ghost like and barely tangible, but she could feel the force flowing through them both. Far stronger and more balanced than when she was alone.

"What about your child, Rey?"

Whenever Jacen inevitably came up in conversation it was always your child, like Ben was going through the same denial that consumed her before Jacen was born.

Rey had lain awake at night for hours. Trying to decide a plan for Jacen if something were to happen. It seemed like the right time to put it into action.

"I found a jedi master, her name is Ahsoka. She agreed to train me and Jacen. Maybe she'd be willing to train him alone. She told me that was how it used to be, just one master and a student, without the parents there. That's the proper Jedi way, right?"

Ben sat there quietly and she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"She was once taught by your grandfather," Rey continued. "That should be good enough for you, right? Oh great supreme leader."

Rey expected another lecture on the failure of the Jedi order, but instead Ben just nodded his head and said "whatever you think is best."

The deal arrived a week later. Far colder and brutal than what they discussed together.

The Resistance would pull out of all First Order controlled worlds in exchange for allowing non-controlled planets the choice to become democratic. The First Order would also allow the exchange of prisoners, but required the Resistance to hand over the Last Jedi, General Dameron and another handful of key Resistance members. There was no explanation of what would become of them.

"This is too much, Ben!" Rey screamed in his face. "This wasn't what we agreed on. You can't do this to Poe and the others!"

"Relax," he said and leaned back in his chair, not the slightest bit phased by her outburst. "This is how negotiations work. Each side starts off by asking for more than what they want. You'll see," he added with a slight smile.

True to his word, after weeks of negotiations, the conditions were changed to exile from First Order territory for everyone, except Rey.

She knew that Poe tried his best. Even offering to let them take him instead, but Kylo Ren refused to bargain any further. It was either take the gracious conditions he offered, or the war would continue.

"I won't do it, Rey!" yelled Poe. He slammed his fist down on the desk of a crammed dusty office. "I won't hand you over to that monster!"

As moved as she was by his loyalty, Rey still couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. Hiding her true relationship with Kylo Ren had become far too ingrained into her life.

"Poe you have to take this deal while we still have the chance," she protested. "This is the most reasonable offer that they've given us so far."

"I won't let them hurt you! Jacen needs you. We need you. I need you," he added as an afterthought. She couldn't remember how or when she became so important to the man before her.

"Please, Poe," Rey begged as the tears ran down her face. "I can't keep doing this. I can't keep going from planet to planet. Begging for men, only to watch them die. I can't keep shooting people out of the sky... I can't take losing anyone I care about."

"But we can-"

"Just let me do this! It's the only way to save everyone!"

Poe was taken back by her outburst and stood there stunned.

"Maybe it won't be so bad," she said to reassure him. "If I go to them and co-operate, then maybe I can convince them to change things. There are more ways to fight this battle then just with ships."

"Rey-"

"Use this as a chance. Go to the outer rim, Poe. Go and rebuild. Then if things don't work out, the Resistance will be ready."

Poe looked like he wanted to argue, but instead sighed as though the general in him had finally accepted that it was the best plan.

"It won't be for long. We'll find you and we'll save you!" He swore. He lunged forward and embraced her. Hugging Rey tightly to his chest like he was afraid of letting go.

"Thank you, Poe. Thank you for everything."

Rey tried to spend as much time as she could with her son, in the days leading up to her departure. Doing her best to remain upbeat so that he'd have some positive memories to look back on. She taught him how to meditate and took him flying in an x-wing. Patiently explaining all the controls like she'd never have another chance.

In her dreams they were also together, but Jacen was so much taller. Happily laughing on a sunny day with black hair down past his ears. She felt comforted by knowing that one day they would meet again.

Poe had doubts about the First Order's deal, so it was decided that Rey would deliver herself to one of their star destroyers alone. The Resistance would then move to another location that Rey didn't know, just to protect themselves in case the deal fell through.

Poe came to see her off, along with Finn, Rose, and half the Resistance. Rey had no idea how a lonely scavenger from the sands of Jakku ever managed to gain so many loyal friends.

"If they give you any trouble, just send us a message," said Finn. "I don't care about any treaties. I'll fly in there to break you out myself."

"Don't you think it's the other way around?" laughed Rose. "They're the ones who'll need saving from Rey."

Rey had already prepared for this inevitable goodbye, fiercely assuring herself that she wouldn't be gone forever, but it still broke her heart when her son dived towards her.

"Mom!'" Jacen cried and wrapped himself around her legs. "Mom! Don't leave!"

She was reminded of another small child. Standing in the sand as her only family left to never come back. But this time was different. Jacen had other people who loved and cared for him.

"Hey, Jacen," she smiled. "This isn't forever. Mommy just has some things to take care of."

"Then I want to go with you!" He cried as tears poured from his eyes.

She had once thought of taking him too, but the First Order wasn't safe. She didn't know if she could truly trust Ben, or the people who worked alongside him.

"Hey, you don't need me," she laughed, trying her best to stop the tears from pouring forth. "You're a big boy now, and Poe's gonna take you to Ahsoka. She's going to teach you how to become a Jedi like mommy. Isn't that what you always wanted?"

He defiantly shook his head, like all the long speeches where he bragged about becoming a great jedi and saving the universe never happened.

She hugged her child. "No matter where you go, or how far apart we are, I will always love you." She pressed her forehead against his. We'll always be connected, she added through the force. Passing all her feelings of love and peace towards her only son.

"It's okay, Jacen," said Poe. He took her son's hand. "We're here for you, buddy."

The look on her son's face was almost enough to change her mind, but Rey patted his head one last time, then turned and walked towards her ship.

She buried her sadness and confidently strolled towards it with her head held high. Reassuring herself that all her actions, no matter how undesirable, were all for the sake of creating a better world for him.

Author's Note

Jacen, the name called out to her from Star Wars legends.

I have some more ideas for this story, but I'm not sure how far I'll go. I took me a while just to write this chapter, so any updates may take a while.

I'm currently working on a free story called "Memories of a Soul in the Underworld" which I posted to my blog at

mcqueenwrites .com you can read it there online for free. If you notice any grammar or spelling mistakes, comments would be greatly appreciated.