Scene: 

The crazy psycho chuckled evilly as he clutched his package of bombs.  He was going to kill all teenage boys, as those were the types of creatures that had made his high school years a living hell.  They were alllll going to pay….

He lurked outside the high school gate, waiting for classes to let out.  There—two jocks came walking out of the school.  They appeared to be arguing, but no matter.  The psycho chuckled evilly again, and readied his first bomb. 

BOOM!

He peered around the corner to inspect his handiwork; they should be a charred and bloody pulp just about now.  He gasped:  they were charred, and they were smoking, but they were still standing there, arguing. 

The one in the red shirt snapped, "If you're gonna practice the goddam shi shi hokodan, AT LEAST TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!" 

The one with the enormous backpack retorted, "Can't take it, Ranma?  To much of a girl?" 

"I wouldn't be talking, P-chan!" 

Furious, the psycho tossed another bomb.  This time, the red shirt merely jumped out of the way, throwing taunts at the backpack.  The backpack stood there, the bomb exploding on his head.  He didn't seem to notice anything.  "Come back here you coward!" he shouted angrily, and gave chase.  The psycho shook with anger.  He stepped out, and tossed his last bomb right between them. 

"Yo!"  shouted the red shirt.  "We're trying to have a fight here!" 

The backpack added, "Try not to let your ball roll into our fight—you could get hurt!"  And with that he tossed the bomb back to the psycho. 

~*~

Scene: 

The thief snuck around to the backyard of the house, and crept onto the porch.  Silently, he slid open the screen door.  There was no one in sight.  He grinned.  This would be easy as stealing candy from a baby.  He headed for the living room. 

"Oh, hello!  I didn't know we had a guest!" 

The thief whirled around, to see a brown-haired, sweet-faced girl in an apron standing in the doorway.  He sneered—like she could do anything about him.  He pulled out his gun. 

"Goodness," she exclaimed.  Good, the thief thought.  Cower in fear before my power! 

"Your gun is so dirty!  Here, let me clean it for you."  Suddenly, the gun disappeared from his hand.  He looked up to see the girl bustling away, cleaning the gun on her apron. 

"Hey…" 

"Would you like something to eat?  I didn't know that Father had invited over a friend, so I'm terribly sorry that I don't have anything fresh right now… I can make you some tea…  Anyways, Father and the rest of them have gone out for tonight—they won't be back until late.  I'm so sorry that he'll keep you waiting." 

The thief grinned.  So it was just the two of them… how convenient.  He'd have this place under his thumb before the hour was out.  "Certainly," he said greasily.  "I would love some tea."  Dozens of evil plans formed in his twisted mind. 

Three hours later, the rest of the family came back home.  The house was quiet, and only the kitchen light was on. 

"Kasumi?"  the younger sister called.  "Are you here?"  A shiny glint caught their eyes. 

The family gasped in horror as light revealed the shininess to be a polished and gleaming gun. 

"Kasumi!"  They raced to the kitchen, stumbling over one another in their horror.  They stopped short in the doorway, shocked at the sight they beheld. 

The girl looked up and smiled cheerfully.  "Meet my new friend, Mr. Kotadai!  He dropped by when you were out, and we've been having the most marvelous conversation!  He knows the most intriguing ways of picking locks and torturing victims!"  Everyone sweat dropped, except the thief, smiled modestly from his seat at the table.  He was surrounded by at least ten empty plates that used to hold the girl's cooking.  "But don't worry, I've showed Mr. Kotadai why it's bad to steal and hurt other people, and he's promised to never do it again!" 

Later on that night, the thief left the cheery home, waving goodbye to the gentle girl who had reformed him with her optimism, morality, and good cooking. 

~*~

Scene: 

Unfortunately, the thief's partner had not been reformed, and she decided to "pay a visit" to the house that had so changed her friend.  But she swore that she would not make the same mistakes: after the delicious meal she would con out of the girl, she would still steal all of their earthly belongings. 

She returned to the house the following night, brimming with evil anticipation.  Inside, she found a girl in the kitchen.  Her hair wasn't as long as his partner had described, but that was alright.  Kotadai never got anything right anyways. 

"Excuse me, Miss," she simpered.  "But I'm a starving traveler—could you please cook me something to eat?" 

The girl's look of shock turned into genuine gratitude for her plea.  "Why, no one's ever asked me to do that before!  Sure I will!  Just sit right here and don't move, and I'll be right back."  She began to prepare something on the stove. 

Ten minutes later, the thief began to feel a bit nauseous from the toxic fumes that came from the stove.  Or was it the trashcan?  She couldn't think straight—the revolting odors twisted her logic. 

"Eat, eat!" urged the girl expectantly.  "Try it!  I invented a new recipe, just for you!"  Getting impatient, she poked a spoonful of the quivering mass into the thief's mouth. 

An hour later, the family returned from a hurried trip to a sushi restaurant (doubtless, they wanted to let the girl have peace and quiet while she played around in the kitchen).  The fumes hit them a block away. 

"Disgusting," pronounced her shorthaired sister.

They entered the kitchen, and froze in shock. 

"Stupid tomboy," muttered the boy with the pigtail, while shaking his head in disgust.  "I KNEW you were gonna kill someone with your cooking one day." 

~*~

Scene: 

The mugger pulled on his mask, shifted his gun, and stepped around the corner.  He leveled his gun at the innocent school girl who had been making her way down the street. 

"Gimme your bag," he barked. 

"Now why would I do that?"  The girl raised an eyebrow unconcernedly. 

"So I can take your money," he spat.  "Now hurry up before I pump you full of lead." 

The girl's eyes narrowed.  "Excuse me?" she asked in a quiet voice. 

"Ya heard me.  I'll pump you full of…"

"No, no, idiot, the first part." 

"What, I'm gonna take your money?" 

Her expression became deadly.  "Yes, that part.  You plan to take MY MONEY."  She smiled humorlessly.  "That's a funny one." 

The mugger grimaced in anger.  "No more games, little lady, or I'll…"

"I have a better idea: you give me the money you stole from the little old lady yesterday in the park at 2:37AM, all of it…"

"WHAT????"

"…and I won't tell your boss that you've been stealing half his profits, as well as plotting to get rid of him with that ugly friend of yours."

How… how could she… how could she know that?  What kind of a demon was she?  "Who… who are you?" 

"Nabiki Tendo, at your service.  Or, at least if you pay up before I lose my temper." 

NABIKI TENDO???

His gun clattered to the floor as a dark mist enveloped his senses.  Hideous screams chilled his soul as he sunk to the floor, whimpering for mercy. 

The innocent schoolgirl looked at him for a moment, and then rolled her eyes.  "Pathetic."  She continued her walk home.