"Supergirl went behind my back and used my personal relationships against me, that's like something my mother would do. She crossed a line and I can never trust her again."

Kara's heart sank as she stood looking towards the Luthor heir eyes gleaming, welling with tears. Looking down abruptly, blinking. Forcing herself to stay resolute within her posture. Kara's breath stuttered as she felt the rising bile towards the back of her throat. A thick heavy lump lying like a paperweight of solid lead across her heart stopping her from moving, feeling... lungs expanding... breathing.

Images of Lillian flashed through her thought process, all of the evil she'd done.

... all of the pain she'd caused.

... all of the people she'd killed.

The Kidnapping, the cage, Medusa, The Alien Registry... all of those times Lena had confided just how despicable Lillian could be, to her own daughter no less and that's what Lena thinks of me.

Accompanying images of Lillian were all the victims of Kara's greatest losses. All those she'd killed, by accident in battle... the choices she'd made. Where they really that comparable?

Times where she wasn't fast enough.

Times where a stray sheet of concrete had caught passersby during a fight.

Looking back up to Lena, the corners of two bloodshot blue eyes just glancing in her direction... lips trembling, studying, watching for any sign of a lie... that she'd said it in the heat of the night.

But no.. Lena's composure was sturdy, unbroken, wholly sound. Face aligned with honesty and layered with spite.

Those words... the things she said... hurt more than Kryptonite, Reigns punches and even what happened to Jeremiah combined.

Not that she'd ever cop to that, she's always loved Jeremiah... he was a second father...

... but he was Cadmus.

And Lena sees me in the same light. She thinks I have a god complex... do I?

Running her hand through her hair Rao I really fucked Up didn't I?!

Breaking the silence Lena lifted her bag up not noticing Kara's tragic lack of enthusiasm. "So I didn't know what flavour Ruby likes so I bought every flavour..." Laughing, Kara joining in trying not to sound so obvious "I hope you brought your appetite"

Nodding her voice wavered "Oh... you know me." At least I thought you did. ... I thought I did.

Biting her lip, she gulped back a sob threatening to escape... she couldn't do this, she couldn't lose Lena.

Not again, she's lost far too many people she's loved... and now Kara was afraid of losing her.

Sniffling lightly, all of the emotion of the past few days caught up with her, like a freight train. The hurt, the feelings of betrayal... Kara knew she was being irrational, letting her Fears dictate her actions... her words. But she couldn't help but let it get personal, finding out Lee was lying that she'd kept things from her all of this time ... it just twisted something inside and made her overreact... but not just that... this year after everything that's happened... looking to that green rock sickened her causing more than just a physical reaction... it touched upon something internally... it was the remainder of a deceased planet... her world. Even if it was a copy... made up inside of her laboratory it still curdled those memories...

... of when she witnessed the explosion because she saw that chemical reaction. Knowing that the one thing that could harm her was the only thing that existed of krypton made it personal... hit her harshly. Clark didn't get that.

...for him it was just about safety... he was a human that had trouble with his own mortality... but Kara no... she's faced death.. ironically lived through her own for over two decades... that wasn't the reason... at least not fully.

A reason of many reasons was that reminders like that.. of her home... of feeling so weak, taking away any lasting strength both physically and emotionally that she could hold onto... it took the last thing she had left... it took her heart and scarred it to the point she didn't know how to continue getting back up... I mean look at what happened with PSI ...if she doesn't have Supergirl... if she can't stay strong in either persona... can't keep that Alien part of herself then what does she have?

Turning her head one line stood out... You don't have Lena.

At that Kara really did loose it, she'd zoned out of the conversation half way through the elevator ride... her head was blazing, ears ringing with the sounds of her mothers cries, of every goodbye... of Lena's curt and cutting words... of every insecurity she's ever had about not really being the hero... of not saving those she loves... of not protecting Kal... of Lillians HOWLING laughter, of Mon-El and his wife... of loosing everything... she felt so weak even without the added Kryptonite.

So she cried. Tears trickling a furious path... down to a Kryptonian mouth, mucus lining a Nasal passage, as it steamed up her glasses and she was caught-caught between two halves of herself... of two lives separated by over a decade of LIES.

Cocking her head to a withering sound that's when Lena finally noticed how far Kara had fallen. Surprise and supreme concern flashing through her as she rushed across a small tin box towards a hurting friend... "Kara... Kara what's wrong?!"

Grabbing hold as her she shrunk down to the floor.. that's when everything went dark... the elevator coming to a shrieking halt as Lena lurched forward. Encased in blackness... silence, just creaking and two sets of heavy breathing Lena crawled over to Kara who was hunched in a corner. Placing two hands she was trembling, moving to her head she was clammy and sweaty. "Oh Kara sweetheart, please tell me what's wrong?!"

Through hiccups and shaky inhales "I-I can't lose y-ou leee"

Lena's face folded, confusion evident "Why on earth would you think that darling?"

Kara closed her eyes and held her breath its time...

... "Because- because I'm Supergirl"