Nightmares aren't a rare occurrence for either of them.

It's almost a nightly ritual at this point; waking up sometime after midnight to calm the other down after they wake up shaking and/or crying.

So when Steve wakes up at precisely 2:36AM on a Saturday night to the sound of Bucky's quiet crying, he really isn't surprised. In fact, he thinks half-bitterly, he wishes he wasn't so good at calming Bucky down, because god knows neither of them deserve their nightmares.

"Buck? Bucky, darling," Steve whispers.

He waits for a minute and tries again when there's no reply. "Bucky, babe?"

No response. The soft sobs hadn't stopped and Steve's almost getting worried now. "Bucky?"

Nothing. Steve crawls over to Bucky and gently prods his shoulder. He gets nothing except - wait. Bucky's murmuring words - begging, really - in between his tearful gasps, which are only getting louder.

"Please, please, I don't want to kill her, please, please, don't make me, please, I'm sorry."

Steve freezes and his mouth opens a little in shock. "B-Bucky?"

Bucky doesn't seem to hear him and it takes a moment for Steve's brain to kick back into gear and realize that shit, he's probably still asleep, isn't he?

"Bucky. Bucky," Steve says, his voice getting a little louder and insistent. "Bucky!"

Bucky's eyes stay closed and his voice gets more desperate. "No, please! Please, stop, stop stop! Please, I don't want to, I don't need to, she didn't do anything, please!"

Steve's heart keeps breaking with every word Bucky says. Steve is about to make another attempt at waking Bucky up when Bucky lets out a final, strangled "NO!" and his eyes fly open. He scrambles up into a sitting position and catches sight of Steve.

"Fuck," Bucky says, breathing hard and fast. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and slowly exhales.

Steve watches with concern as Bucky calms down and waits a full two and a half minutes before asking, "Bucky, wh-are you okay?"

Bucky laughs once, harsh and sudden. "Yes. No. I don't fucking know, Steve."

Steve cautiously crawls over to Bucky and presses against him, hip to hip. "Do you want to…"

Bucky looks at Steve. The moonlight shining through the window illuminates the pain and fear in his eyes. "Guess I kinda should."

Steve sucks in a breath. "You don't have to."

"I want to," Bucky nods. "It...when I was...y'know, him, the Winter Soldier, it wasn't like I didn't know what was happening. It was like….taking a backseat in your own mind."

Steve wants to open his mouth and say that he's so damn sorry, and Bucky shouldn't have gone through all that, but he resists, only nodding once for Bucky to continue.

Bucky takes a breath. "I knew...what he was doing. Killing, killing all those people. And I was screaming in my own head to stop. Do you know what it's like, to see yourself murdering innocent people? Watching your hands move and not being able to stop it?"

Bucky's shaking now, and Steve carefully maneuvers them so that Bucky is in front of Steve. Bucky curls up into Steve's chest and Steve strokes long, soothing lines down his back.

"It's done now," Steve says, planting a kiss on the top of Bucky's head. "I swear. It's done."

Bucky nods against Steve's chest, and murmurs something that sounds vaguely like "thank you" but it's muffled against Steve's body.

Steve doesn't move until Bucky's asleep again.