A/N: Based off the scene in 7x16 where Spencer finds Aria's earring in the Emison baby nursery, but assumed nothing of it for some reason. It irked me, so I fixed it. Here's the clip, scene starts at around 3:25 (on youtube): /watch?v=3jEsbJkj7ok
Aria had to resist the urge to wipe her palms off on her pants. She was sweating, the destroyed nursery glaring at her, making her feel like she had a big red arrow pointing toward her. She knew that she'd break into tears if she were to kneel in the floor to help the others clean the mess, so she stood awkwardly by the door, face a mask of sorrow, instead of revealing the guilt that was welling beneath the surface.
"Aria? Is this yours?"
She nearly flinched turning to look at Spencer, and felt her insides grow cold as she laid eyes on the familiar earring in the other woman's grasp. Feigning some semblance of nonchalance, Aria felt her left ear, and, sure enough, the earring was missing. Shit.
"Oh… yeah."
Alison and Emily looked at her as Spencer rose from her crouch, each of their eyes burning with something she could only construe as hatred. They know. They know what a monster you are, Aria.
"That's funny," she forced out, taking the earring. Her fingers were shaking, slick with perspiration, and she could hardly manage that simple action. "I thought I heard something drop on the floor when I came in. Just… thank you."
Spencer didn't look convinced, eyes glued to her, like she was trying to read Aria's mind. It was difficult putting the earring back in under her friend's scrutiny, nevermind how hard it was already to see how terribly crushed Emily and Ali looked. She wanted so badly to blurt out everything, just to absolve herself of some of this guilt.
For a brief second Aria locked eyes with Spencer, and she was suddenly in an interrogation room, bright spotlight shining on her, urging her to crack. She would've, but she dragged her attention to the floor, where Spencer's piercing gaze couldn't affect her. Her smile dropped, forced down by that weighty feeling on her mind.
"Okay, I can't be in here anymore." Emily was rising from the floor, nearly in tears as Ali took her arm.
"Come on, let's go," urged Alison, and the pair brushed past Aria.
Aria glanced at Spencer, knowing exactly what the look on her face meant. When Spencer returned her gaze, she knew for sure that the taller girl was suspicious.
Still fiddling with her earring, Aria tried to be as casual as possible as Spencer slinked past her, footsteps painfully slow. Aria was just turning to follow them out, but was nearly suffocated by fear when she saw Spencer standing frozen by the door, hand on the knob. Her back was turned, but Aria was adept at reading the tension in her posture.
"Can you give us a minute, guys?"
The assenting hums made her twenty times as nervous. They were leaving her alone with Spencer, and that meant she was more likely to get grilled in a relentlessly intense way. The situation was no better than facing an electric chair with a short circuit, a noose made with frayed rope. It was going to be brutal.
Her death warrant was signed as Spencer closed the door, clicking the lock in a frightening, deliberate manner. It was unclear whether that was supposed to keep Aria from escaping or to keep Emily and Alison from coming to her rescue, but Aria didn't particularly like it either way, her mind conjuring up all sorts of ways Spencer could murder her. She actually considered pitching herself out the window, but could only manage a few measly steps backward in a feeble attempt to distance herself from the woman.
Of course, her best friend had always been a lioness, and Aria knew with certainty that she didn't stand a chance in hell at fighting Spencer off. Spencer was right: she was tiny. A cowardly little mouse.
"I'm giving you a chance to explain," said Spencer, her back still turned, voice thick with an emotion Aria couldn't quite define.
Anger, sadness, humor, who knew? All she could hear was her heart pounding in her ears.
"What's going on, Aria?" This time Spencer turned to her, brow furrowed.
Aria felt her throat go dry. Deny, deny, deny. Her only strategy. "Um… besides the usual -A fiasco? Nothing."
An eyebrow quirked, arms crossed, and Spencer pursed her lips, eyes scanning her. "You're not telling me something."
"What do you mean?"
"We've known each other for years, Aria. I know when something's off about you. You have a tell."
"Really?" Aria shrugged, forcing a nervous chuckle. She wondered exactly what that tell was, but it wasn't like Spencer was going to tell her. "Just bride-to-be jitters."
"Uh huh." Spencer's gaze swept around the destroyed room, landing on the headless teddy bear lying in the floor. She picked it up carefully and weighed it in her hand. "You know, it's so awful how AD could do something like this. Destroying a nursery? That's almost inhuman. Disgusting."
It was a kidney punch, fingers digging into her eyes. Spencer was playing a dirty game, trying to drag a confession out of her. Aria would've preferred actually being hit, strung up, shot. Anything but the sting of guilt that was threatening to tear a hole in her chest.
"It is, isn't it?" Her voice cut off in a hoarse whisper, but she kept her face smooth. Crossing her arms helped, steadied her trembling hands and provided a shield. "I don't know what kind of monster could do something like that."
You, Aria. You're the monster.
"It's a tired game." Spencer sighed, tension leaking from her shoulders, and Aria almost believed she had forgotten the whole pursuit. Almost.
Aria nodded along.
"You remember senior year? How Mona used Toby to get to me? Put me in Radley, made me a puppet?"
"Of course."
Spencer was staring down at the teddy bear now, eyes misty and distant, reliving the memory. "I got lost. Not just in the woods, but… in my own head. I couldn't… I couldn't see who I was anymore.
"But I knew I'd do anything for Toby. If he'd actually gotten hurt... killed… I would've gladly stayed in that place, drooling into my pillow." She scoffed, a satirical noise that held only a certain self-loathing. "I wore the hoodie, did -A's bidding. I kidnapped a seven-year-old, for crying out loud." This time she actually chuckled, dark eyes darting up to look at Aria, an apology all over her expression.
"Spence…" Aria began, taking a hesitant step forward. "I don't blame you for—"
"I know." Spencer held up a hand. "I know you don't. But the point is that I was the monster. I made a choice, even if it didn't seem like I had one. I could've given up everything, lost everything I had, lost Toby to protect you guys, but I made the selfish choice. And I don't blame you for a second if you did the same thing."
Aria strode forward now, shaking her head. "Spence. Spencer, you were protecting us, okay? You did. You tricked -A and kept us from being killed that night at the lodge."
"Doesn't matter. I hurt you first." Spencer tossed the decapitated teddy bear to Aria, who caught it and took a turn looking at the stuffing hanging out. "I actively hurt you, Aria. My best friend."
"That doesn't mean you're a monster, Spencer." Her voice was just a whisper, as she watched a tear splash silently on the poor bear's fur. "You're not a monster."
"Aria, however deep you're in this, I want you to remember that, too. You're not a monster. If anything, you're a big-hearted softie, like me. Someone just takes advantage of a few loose stitches and all the stuffing comes out. And, really, what else are you supposed to do when that happens?" Spencer huffed out a long breath, offering a timid smile, then she leaned forward to kiss the top of Aria's head. "Just try to make it right, okay?"
Then she was gone, unlocking the door and sauntering out with her hands stuffed casually in her jeans pockets, much to Aria's surprise.
She hadn't been coerced into a confession, drowned in guilt, burned at the stake for her sins. No, Spencer understood exactly where she was at, like she always did. She was disappointed, but she understood, even if Aria had never fully showed her hand.
Aria stared down at the teddy bear in her hands, feeling a little less like a monster and a little more like a human being. One that makes bad choices sometimes. One that has weaknesses.
And she'd definitely try to sew herself back together.
A/N: So I wrote this a few weeks ago, after I was rewatching the last ten episodes and couldn't figure out why in the world Spencer didn't confront Aria. She totally knew, you could see it in her eyes :P Anywho, it's raining outside, my body aches, and I'm hating everything I edit, but I decided to post some stuff anyway because boredom. There will probably be a couple more one-shots posted today. Well... maybe...
Hope you enjoyed! Leave your thoughts in a review!