Can't Control Who You Love?

by Prettywitchiusaka

"Colonel, we're here."

Roy Mustang turned to his First Lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye and noticed two things; the car was parked, and they were across the road from a little pub called "Richie's".

He smiled inwardly. He used to come here with Riza and their friend Maes all the time when they were cadets, and later soldiers. But that was years ago when they were younger.

Okay, they were still young. But a lot had happened since then. Ishbal came and went, they'd gotten older, and their workload got a lot heavier. With so little downtime on their way to the top, they eventually stopped going altogether. Riza was often tired after a long day of work. And Roy? Well, the less said about that, the better. Let's just say he preferred to drink alone if he could these days.

And right now was a pretty good indication, at least to him, that he was in need of some hard liquor. He'd been so lost in thought he hadn't even noticed they'd come to a stop.

"Oh. Okay," Roy said, he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door. Roy went to get out of the car but stopped when he heard a grunt. He turned to stare at his subordinate and noticed how on edge she looked. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and she was massaging her temple, no doubt doing her best to nurse an on-coming headache.

Roy didn't need to think twice about his next move. "Wanna come in with me?"

And just like that, Riza gasped and her amber eyes widened in surprise. There was still a bit of suspicion in her gaze, though, which Roy couldn't help smirking at.

"Sir?" she asked.

"I'm asking if you'd like to come in and have a drink with me, Lieutenant," he replied.

Her eyes softened a bit as she listened to him…and then she turned away from his gaze. "I really don't think that's a good idea," she said.

"I don't mind driving you home if you get a little tipsy."

"That's not what I meant, Colonel," she said. Her cheeks were uncharacteristically rosy, he noticed. "You know what I'm like when I'm drunk."

His dark eyes widened like he'd just gotten hit by a freight train. How could he have been so stupid, he thought!?

Yes, Riza Hawkeye was a diligent, loyal, no-nonsense woman who could shoot circles around even the best assassins. But give her a couple of beers, and all bets were off! She became childish, clumsy, and she had a really bad habit of acting on impulses and expressing emotions she'd normally keep to herself.

Roy should know because he found that out the hard way. A few months ago, Riza got drunk at a party he was holding for the higher-ups when they were still stationed in East City. He'd let his guard down when he asked her to dance and she complied. Roy eventually caught on to his superiors staring at them in disapproval and tried to get Riza to stop…and that's when she

tried seducing him into bed with her.

It almost worked, too. And he had no one to blame but himself for that one.

"I know," he said. "But it might do you some good to let loose for an hour."

She raised an eyebrow. "Let loose?"

"Come on, Hawkeye. I know you've been stressed out at work the last few days, it might be a good idea to air out your grievances."

He wasn't too far off the mark, either. Their recent transfer back to Central ensured that there'd be an increase in paperwork and general office duties, which there were, but she'd also become his soul confidant in the wake of Hughes's murder. Add in having to nag him about completing his paperwork and helping him look for ways to get promoted, and the Lieutenant was usually here till ten, sometimes eleven at night. She never complained about it, but he knew how exhausted she was.

And then there was his day off. She hadn't said anything, but he knew from her constant yawning, the bags under her eyes, and how irritable she'd been with their team all day, especially Lieutenants Havoc and Breda, that something went down yesterday.

But hell would freeze over before she ever admitted it…Unless he brought it up to her, that is.

Mind you, he understood her concerns, he had them too. But Riza was only human; she worked harder than anyone he'd ever known and never asked for anything in return. The least he could do was buy her a drink and help her relax like they used to do.

As long as he kept her at arms length, they should be okay.

Before Roy could even say anything, though, he heard her sigh and said: "You're lucky you're so damn charming."

He smirks.

"I'll take that as a yes."

…..

Thirty Minutes Later

"So after I get him to calm down, I tell Kain where, uh…where he can go get a working transistor for the radio! Of course, I made the stupid mistake of letting Havoc and Breda go with him!"

Riza took another gulp from her beer mug and wiped her mouth clean, making Roy chuckle. It was a very un-Riza like thing for her to do the more he thought about it, which is probably why he found it so amusing. It was like she didn't care how sloppy she looked right now, and for that he was grateful.

Roy took a sip of his scotch, keeping an eye on his Lieutenant at all times.

It hadn't taken long for her to get drunk, maybe ten minutes at most. The second the bartender came to the booth with their drinks she started chugging hers down, confirming his suspicions that she did, in fact, need a drink. And now that she was on her third beer, her inebriation was starting to show. Her cheeks were flushed, and every other word out of her mouth was slurred.

No attempts to seduce him, thankfully. Which meant his plan was working like a charm.

Roy swirled the glass around in his hand and smiled at his friend. "Is that so?" he asked.

"Yeah!" she replied. She placed her mug on the table with a loud thud. "Long story short, I ended up having to stay till at least midnight helping them clean up the storage room!"

Roy put his drink down. "So that's why you were so tired today."

"Uh-huh!" Riza slurred. "It's also why I was so snippy towards Havoc and Breda!" She takes another long sip of beer.

"But not Feury." He smirks. "Sure you're not biased?"

"Oh, how can I be!? Kain's still new at his job, those two numbskulls have been in the military as long as you and I have, they should know better by now! I mean don't get me wrong, I love Jean and Heymans very much. But they can be such idiots sometimes!"

Roy chuckles. "You don't have to tell me twice."

"Oh, you like them!"

"I do, but it's hard to argue that point," he said as he took another sip of his scotch. He felt a bit weird having to nurse his drink, but he seemed to be adjusting to it so it's not like he could really complain.

"Yeah…," Riza said. "I like this…"

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"This," she replied. "Just…you and me hanging out…listening to each other's problems. Like old times."

Roy is surprised to hear that, but his surprise quickly turns to joy as he gives her a smile. When Maes was still alive, they'd go out all the time and chat about their problems over some beer. Even more so than he used to do with Riza.

But Maes was gone now.

Killed in the prime of his life only months ago, leaving friends and family to grieve, and a guilt-ridden hole in Roy's heart.

But he wasn't alone; Riza was still here. She'd stayed by him no matter what he did, and she would continue to do so. This woman who protected and supported him, this woman who pushed him forward when she didn't have to, this woman he loved and felt comfortable talking

to about anything.

"Yeah, me too."

She shied her eyes away, blushing bit. He chuckled.

"I wish we could do this more often."

"Maybe when we get to the top, we can."

Next thing Roy knew, he was watching Riza's eyes widen and her mouth form into a big, bright smile. "I'll hold you to that, then!" she said.

Roy blushed a bit while his heart skipped a beat at the sight of her smile, something only she seemed capable of doing to him. He quickly shooed any romantic thoughts away and flashed her a smile as they clanked their drinks together.

…

One Hour Later

Roy helped Riza up the last step and onto the solid wood floor of her home in the barracks.

He hooked her arm over his shoulder and slowly walked Riza to her apartment, trying his best to keep her steady and upright. Of course, that was easier said than done when she was stumbling over her feet.

"You didn't have ta' walk me upstairs, you know?"

"If I didn't, you would've planted face first into the floor."

Riza giggled like a little school girl.

When they reached the front door, she sloppily fished her apartment key out of her pocket and placed it in the lock. Or at least tried to. She was so inebriated now, Roy had to grab her hand and help her put the key in the lock.

She opened the door and Roy walked her in. They were greeted by a dark, moonlit room and the happy whirlwind of black and white fur that was Riza's dog, Black Hayate.

She collapsed to her knees. "Hi, Hayate!" He jumped into her lap and Riza pet him, she even let him lick her continuously on the cheeks, something she'd never let him do if she were sober. "Did you miss mommy!?"

"Okay, I think you need to go to bed now," said Roy. He pulled Riza up by her elbow and walked her over to the bed.

"But Hayate needs to go outside-"

"I'll do that. You lay down and get some sleep before you collapse."

Riza turns to face him. "You don't have to do that!"

"If I don't, who else will?" he said, wanting to place his hands on her shoulders. He only stopped after remembering his last encounter with his drunk subordinate. "Now lie down and get

some rest, Lieutenant."

She giggles. "Okay."

Riza sat down on the bed and started removing her boots. Roy turned around and saw Hayate at his feet. Tail wagging, tongue hanging out, it made him smirk at the puppy. He bent down and rubbed the top of Hayate's head, watching his little tail get faster.

Roy got up and went to look for the leash, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Riza laying down in bed. Her hair was down, the blanket covered her entire body, and there was a big dumb smile on her face.

For some reason, seeing her like that put a smile on his face. He walks over to her, like his feet have minds of their own, and crouched down to look at her.

"Sleep well, Lieutenant. I'll see you, tomorrow."

Riza opened her eyes and gave him a smile. "Thank you for tonight."

"No problem," he said.

And he just…stared at her for the longest time. Looking into her eyes like they were the only two people in the world. That is until he finally went to get up.

"Roy."

He looked at her again and saw she was still smiling.

"What?" he asked softly.

"I love you."

Roy's eyes widen a bit, before he stares at her sadly. He knew from the sweet look in her eyes, and how casually she'd confessed her feeling to him that it wasn't a mistake. She meant every word of that sentence.

It wasn't the first time, either. She'd confessed to him the night she tried getting into his pants. And yet both times she'd said those three words to him, he felt like he was cheating her.

"You could do better than me."

She shrugs. "Can't control who you love, Roy."

Roy doesn't say anything. Instead, he continues to watch Riza's smiling face and peaceful demeanour. As much as he hated admitting it, seeing her like this reminds him just how contradictory his words were.

"No, I suppose you can't. Can you?" he asks out loud.

Without thinking it over, Roy caresses her face in his hand, leans in and kisses her forehead. He waits a moment before he moves inches away from her ear and whispers "I love you, Riza." He paused. "Even though I know I shouldn't…"

"I know…," she replies.

Roy can't help but smile. Somehow, having her know he returns her feelings is good enough for him, at least for now.

Before he leaves, he puts Hayate on a leash and takes him outside. Tomorrow, things would go back to normal. He would be the arrogant, ambitious Colonel, her the overworked, disgruntled assistant. But that's okay.

No matter what Roy thought of himself, he knew a day would come where they wouldn't need to pretend anymore. And honestly? He was looking forward to it.

The End