Okay, so this is going to be about four, or three chapters long since I couldn't post it as one or two.

Thanks so much to my sister whose time playing with me has inspired this story, and the "promise to promise" rant that's in later chapters is something she made up and allowed me to use, along with the "drooling" code word that's also in later chapters. Thanks so much to my sister for the inspiration and allowing me to use a few things she made up in our game, which is always fun and has unpredictable teamwork when we play. I couldn't have wrote this one nearly as good as it turned out without you.

This is NOT a pairing story.

This one should be around three or four chapters, and I was really happy with the way the end turned out. Hope you all enjoy, and have a nice day!

Thanks so much for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or its characters. And the Promise to promise part of one of Natsu's rants and the code word that was "drool" or "drooling" belongs to my sister.

Chapter 1 Bottled Up Feelings

At last everything with Avatar and Alvarez was finally over.

Gray Fullbuster sat in his usual seat in the finally rebuilt guildhall.

How many times Fairy Tail had been broken down and had to be rebuilt he could not remember.

Everyone was celebrating the end of the war with Alvarez, which had lasted months.

Now all the Fairy Tail mages could relax, or go on a few jobs, play around, or even start a friendly-or a not-so-friendly brawl. Things were finally back to normal.

Or at least that's what it seemed to be from a glance.

"Haha! Gotcha you hedgehog!" Natsu Dragneel exclaimed as he knocked Gajeel Redfox down in their fight, who still lay on the ground as the fire Dragonslayer was claiming victory.

Gray watched as everyone in the guild celebrated Fairy Tail's victory in their own ways. Everyone seemed so happy, and they all were smiling, Gray included.

But now that he had some time to relax, his thoughts took a bit of a darker turn, unlike his obviously happy guildmates.

So many times they had almost lost someone in the fights.

But it wasn't just the war that the ice Mage was thinking about.

Many of the things he and his friends had been through over the past few months were starting to resurface in his mind and bother him again.

And to make matters worse some of it rooted all the way back to Tartaros, and if you wanted to get complicated with it all, it could be seen going even further back than even that.

Gray sat in his usual spot in the guild watching his friends as they celebrated. They all looked like they were having a great time.

He could see Cana in her usual spot in the guild, only today Gildarts stood beside her, he could see Wendy and Carla, Erza, Lucy, Happy and Natsu all hanging out having a good time.

Natsu had clearly finished his fight with Gajeel, and despite a few complaints about his fighting ending too soon, he seemed to be having lots of fun with the others as they all chatted away and played games.

The entire guild was here, and they were all smiling and having such a great time.

Suddenly a voice interrupted his thoughts and observations.

"How are your injuries recovering?" Erza asked him as she took a seat beside him.

Gray suddenly felt the urge to sneak away and hide away at home or somewhere else. Instead he simply turned and smiled at Erza. She didn't have to know what he was thinking about; and he hoped that she hadn't noticed he hadn't really been hanging out with their team or anyone in the guild really.

"I'm fine." Gray replied automatically smiling back at his friend. "You?"

"I'm great. I'm glad you're feeling better." Erza replied smiling at Gray.

Gray nearly grimaced. Sure his wounds were healing up pretty well, but he honestly couldn't say he was feeling better, could he? With all his dark thoughts and everything bothering him he was pretty sure he might've been lying. Either that or just leading Erza on to assuming everything was great with the smallest and simplest amount of words as possible.

Gray couldn't help but wonder what Erza would be saying had she not seen his smile, but what he kept hidden behind it...

But he wouldn't allow the things on his mind to trouble anyone else. It was his burden, no one else's. After all, a lot of it was his fault or they were simply his problems.

"Well I should get going now." Erza stated.

"Where are you going? Not leaving for home yet, right? It's kind of early for that..." Gray asked her, letting some minor disappointment sound in his voice.

He would've felt disappointed, if he wasn't feeling so much other stuff instead.

"Of course not!" Erza laughed. "I'm off to pick up some cake. Want to come?"

Gray smiled despite his other thoughts. He considered her offer hesitantly.

He was about to just say yes when he saw Natsu turn and glance at him strangely. Gray couldn't help but wince.

He suddenly remembered some of the worst things that happened during the war with Alvarez.

"You alright?" Erza asked her expression turning slightly concerned.

"Yeah. And sure I'll come." Gray replied hurriedly, not liking the way Natsu had glanced at him.

Something about the look reminded him...

It reminded him of more of the things on his mind that were bothering him. Something specific that was for some reason seeming to bother him the most.

The two walked towards the doors.

"Hey! Where are you two going?" Natsu called to them, a hint of suspicion in his eyes.

"We're going to pick up some cake." Erza told him, giving him an excited smile.

"Oh...have fun! See you two soon!" Natsu called seeming like his usual self.

"Behave yourself." Erza warned him as she and Gray headed outside, causing the dragonslayer to smile nervously as he waved bye to them.

Gray had hoped that perhaps going with Erza could help him get his mind off all his dark thoughts, while it would also take him away from some of the people that reminded him of the things bothering him, but he was wrong.

He'd messed up so many times and so badly in his life, and it seemed as much as he thought he'd gotten better, he was still messing up badly in ways that could get people hurt.

Gray felt the familiar crushing feelings of his guilt and regret sinking in and forcing his attention back onto all his horrible mistakes, rather than his sort of numbness he could get, by trying to ignore it all and be distracted with something else, or simply when he'd been feeling too much pain.

"You're quiet." Erza observed.

"Am I?" Gray asked with fake surprise in his voice.

Erza nodded and considered it for a moment.

"Gray?" Erza started.

"Y-yes?" Gray replied quietly.

He was getting nervous. Was she upset or mad with him for his latest awful mistakes? Had Natsu told her about the other things that had happened?

Not to mention the worst parts-in his opinion anyway, that Erza had actually wittnessed.

Damn it. Gray thought bitterly. Why did he always let his emotions cloud over everything else at the worst times possible?

First his grief for his dead parents and friends had caused him to continually reject Ur and run off into a fight with that demon that he could never have won against back then, causing Ur to go after him and having to sacrifice herself to save her two students.

Second, he let his emotions with the past cloud him again when he was finally reunited with Lyon. So the first attempt at using Iced Shell on Lyon to stop him from reviving Deliora had probably not been necessary; and he hadn't wanted to leave his friends, but he didn't want to be forced into beating his brother-like figure who wasn't going to listen to reason when it was something he and not Lyon, had caused in the first place, with his reckless actions that made their teacher resort to Iced Shell, a spell that had cost her, her life, while also messing with Lyon's dream of surpassing her, and leaving the two boys on their own, going their separate ways.

He didn't want to beat Lyon like he was the total enemy when he had realized that he had been the enemy first.

Third, he'd gotten hopeless in his fight against his father who pretended to be Deliora back in the fight with Tartaros.

He hadn't believed the trick for long, but the entire thing had been so painful and confusing. Once again he couldn't beat someone he cared so much about even if they were threatening his guild. He couldn't. Even though he had gotten terrifyingly close, the violence of the whole thing still haunted him. Awake or asleep.

And his father hadn't really been a real threat. He just wanted to move on and see Gray's mother again. But Gray hadn't even been able to give him even that.

So after all they'd been through Silver asked him for one other task. Although Gray wasn't sure if it had been more to help Silver move on, or if it was for Gray to move on from the past or get his new Devilslayer Magic stronger...

Gray's fists tightened.

He'd promised his dad he'd beat the fire demon END. But it was never going to happen. It had turned into a complete disaster.

"Thank you." Erza said as she paid and waited for the cakes to be finished.

It took a long moment for Gray to realize Erza had been talking to him.

"Gray?" Erza started.

Gray startled and glanced up at Erza, but as he did the bakery owner placed two cakes on the counter in front of Erza.

"Here you go miss." The man said.

"Oh, thank you." Erza said as she took the cakes and led Gray out of the bakery.

"Gray?" Erza asked.

Gray looked at her just slightly.

"Yeah?" He managed not bothering to force a smile.

"Have you and Natsu been fighting again?" She asked.

Gray felt sick and guilty.

"Why do you ask?" He managed quietly.

"He looked at you funny and you winced, and you seem to be avoiding him." Erza replied thoughtfully.

Gray winced but tried to hide it from Erza.

"We're not fighting." Gray said, images of the last time Natsu had punched him popped up in his head making him wince more.

Erza gave him a suspicious look and sighed.

"Is something wrong?" Erza asked.

Gray turned away from the Requip Mage, his hands still in tight fists.

Why was all the E.N.D stuff and the Iced Shell stuff bothering him so much?

But deep down he knew why. He knew the reasons. But he couldn't tell Erza about the iced shell stuff...and everything that was bothering him right now led up to that eventually.

"Gray...? What's wrong?" Erza asked stepping closer to her friend.

"N-nothing." Gray stammered dishonesty. "I...have to go." He added quickly.

"What do you mean?" Erza asked worriedly.

"I...have some stuff to deal with at home. I'll see you tomorrow." Gray replied, as he started to walk away.

"Gray!" Erza called in protest.

Gray tried to ignore her, but she grabbed his arm tightly. Gray trembled slightly in fear of Erza, but otherwise just stood there.

"Gray...just answer me. Is something going on between you and Natsu?" Erza asked. "And why do you wince every time I say Natsu's name?" Erza added, as Gray winced again. "Gray..." Erza said quieter, her voice sounding worried. "What's wrong?"

Gray shifted his weight back and fourth on each leg, and sighed.

"I...well you saw part of it." Gray muttered bitterly.

Erza stepped closer to her younger-brother-figure. Natsu and Gray had been like her little brothers ever since they were kids, and she would get to the bottom of this and help the two boys settle things. Especially since the two weren't very good at doing that themselves. She would get to the bottom of this, no matter what.

"Part of what's bothering you?" Erza asked.

"Yeah..." Gray sighed shakily.

Erza tried to think back on any fights they'd had recently until the one really bad one came to mind.

She'd gone looking for the two of them and had found the two locked in a huge battle far worse than any of the fights the two boys have had against each other in the past. Natsu being affected by END, and Gray clouded by his emotions from having believed Juvia had been killed because of Invel, who he had recently beaten at that point, and had found out from Invel at the end of that fight that Natsu was the demon he had been searching for since he had promised his father he'd beat it for him. Erza suspected there was much on the subject Gray hadn't told her about.

"Gray..." Erza started. "That wasn't all your fault and I'm sure Natsu isn't-"

"It was my fault. He wouldn't answer whether he was E.N.D or not, and I attacked him." Gray interrupted shakily. "I started the whole thing." He said quietly, guilt clear in his voice.

"I doubt Natsu blames you." Erza said.

"Can I go now?" Gray demanded impatiently.

He didn't want to talk about it all. He was horrified and angry with himself for listening to what Invel had said when he found out about E.N.D. He was horrified that he had attacked Natsu like that. He had tried to kill Natsu.

Erza felt Gray's arm start trembling. She wasn't sure if it was anger or fear.

"Gray, try to calm down." Erza started.

"I tried to kill him, Erza." Gray choked out.

"I don't think you would've ended up doing that even if you thought you were trying to. I'm sure you would've come to your senses eventually even if I hadn't intervened." Erza told him.

"I need some time alone. Please...please let me go home now." Gray whispered desperately.

Erza watched her friend hesitantly. Something was really bothering him and he wasn't listening to her. There had to be someone he'd listen to... But she had no idea who that could be. She was sure there was more to what was bothering Gray than what he was telling her. He still hadn't told her why he winces every time she says Natsu's name.

Erza wanted to know what was wrong and help Gray, but she could tell by the way he was begging that she had to let him go, otherwise it was only going to get worse.

"Okay..." Erza agreed quietly. "But...please come to me if I can help you. You can't keep bottling everything up like this, Gray." Erza told him. "I hope we'll see you at the guild tomorrow." She said making it clear that if he wasn't there then she was going to come to him.

Gray nodded in understanding and pulled away from her, and before she could say bye, Gray disappeared in the shadows on the other side of the street.

Erza stood there in worried silence for a good while until she started back to the guild, her excitement for her new cakes not quite as strong as before.

Natsu waited somewhat impatiently for Erza and Gray to get back. They were taking quite a long time for just picking up cake. How many cakes was Erza buying this time? Shouldn't they be hurrying back to join in the fun again?

Natsu sighed softly, allowing his surface thoughts to fade a bit.

He knew the real reason why he was so eager for the two to come back. It wasn't just how it was strange for the two to just leave to pick up cake; usually Erza would do that and Gray would stay here and fight with him, or at least something!

But Natsu had noticed that Gray was being very distant with him since they had tried to kill each other. Natsu felt a tinge of guilt rise inside him at the memory.

They'd both injured each other quite badly, but it was worse that Gray was seemingly trying to avoid him now.

Could it be that all this time he and Gray hadn't been as good friends as he'd thought they'd been?

Natsu didn't usually ever question their friendship. He just knew that they were... they had to be. They were guild mates, friends and rivals, they were even like brothers-not that Natsu had any intention of sharing that information. As for Gray, he didn't need to hear it, the two had better ways to communicate with each other without all the complicated talking stuff. Neither Natsu nor Gray were the best with words, or at least not with anything emotional. That wasn't how their friendship worked.

Natsu frowned. Why in the world was he questioning their friendship again?

He had always been so sure, but then they had their worst fight ever, and then the stupid ice block had to go and break his promise.

Natsu could feel his fists tightening in rage.

What was taking them so long?

Natsu was about to lose it and run outside and go find them when he saw Erza coming in. Which was lucky because he had been about ready to smash the doors open to run outside and find her and Gray.

Natsu waited, fidgeting impatiently for a few moments as he watched Erza, waiting for Gray to appear behind her.

But he never did.

Natsu's eyes narrowed in concern as he watched Erza carrying in her strawberry cakes. Something about her didn't smell right...and where was the ice princess?

"Hey, where'd Gray go? Isn't he coming back to the party?" Happy asked flying towards the Requip Mage.

Great job Happy. Natsu thought silently.

If Happy could ask all the questions for him, then he wouldn't have to worry about asking Erza himself and letting on any weird ideas like that he was worried about the snow-streaker. Which he obviously wasn't.

"He went home for the night..." Erza replied deep in thought.

Natsu didn't step closer but he listened more intently. Now that he thought about it, Gray had barely spoken to him all day. Sure he'd called him a Flamebrain at some point. But they hadn't fought once today and Gray always acted funny around him. He tended to wince whenever Natsu looked at him too.

Natsu was starting to get really tired of all the secrecy. Would the freezerbrain ever learn not to bottle everything up and hide away with his acting and avoid people?

Natsu couldn't stand it any longer.

"Why'd he go home?" Natsu asked.

Erza turned to the Dragonslayer.

"He said he had stuff to deal with at home or something like that..." Erza replied hesitantly.

"But?" Natsu asked.

"He...he seemed upset about something..." Erza answered worriedly.

I knew it. Natsu thought, anger and worry rising inside him making him feel like running over and banging down Gray's door, and dragging the ice princess back to the guild to be with all his friends.

"So...you're saying he's gone home to sulk?" Natsu asked.

Erza's eyes widened.

"You think that's what he's doing?" Erza asked alarmed.

"Maybe he just needs some time alone to sort out whatever it is?" Happy suggested.

"I hope so." Erza answered.

"I could go check on him?" Happy offered.

"Come on...he's been acting funny but I'm sure he'll be back to normal tomorrow, right? Why are you so worried? Sure he's been weird today-" Natsu started trying to convince himself as well as his friends.

"It hasn't just been one day Natsu." Erza interupted.

"Then two days, whatever." Natsu shrugged. Sometimes they wanted to be so specific. It wasn't his fault if he was so busy he couldn't remember exactly how many days it had been.

"Natsu...he's been acting funny longer than that..." Happy said.

"So you've noticed too?" Erza asked.

"Aye... He's been really quiet and acts kind of funny. Especially whenever Natsu goes near him." Happy explained.

"Every time I go near him?" Natsu exclaimed. "What do you mean by that?"

Happy and Erza just sighed at their friend's somewhat obliviousness.

"I mean...I know we haven't fought much...but-" Natsu started.

"Haven't fought much? I was under the impression that there was something going on between you two, to be honest. You haven't been fighting?" Erza asked.

Natsu felt more worried by the second. Even though he told himself he wasn't worried at all.

Erza seemed to pick up on the Dragonslayer's nervousness.

"You two did have a fight didn't you? What happened? Do you have any idea why he's upset?" Erza asked.

Natsu sighed in frustration.

"We haven't been fighting for days or however long it's been!" Natsu exclaimed.

"It's true Erza...I haven't seen them fighting and I've been with Natsu almost constantly." Happy confirmed.

"Alright." Erza sighed. "I suppose he'll be back to his normal self once he's sorted things out...I just hope he can sort it out before he decides to avoid coming to the guild."

"Don't worry, he will." Natsu told her confidently.

Erza smiled at her younger brother-figure, feeling a lot better despite her conversation with Gray.

"I hope you're right. If he isn't, we'll head to his house tomorrow and find out." Erza said.

Natsu shuddered. If Gray didn't sort things out he was pretty sure Erza would get pretty scary if she tried to force information out of him. Natsu knew that wouldn't work either, and even if it did, it wouldn't work out well... If it was something serious that Gray was being secretive about, Natsu knew the ice mage wouldn't tell them... Under Erza's added stress Gray would more likely shut down and walk away if they pushed him too hard.

"Hey Erza? Natsu? Sorry if I'm interrupting...but Lucy and I were going to play. Want to play this board game with us?" Wendy Marvell called from where she and Lucy sat.

"Sure." Erza answered smiling.

Natsu hesitated, but turned to Wendy and smiled.

"Sure, as long as it's a quick game."

After a short walk around Magnolia, Gray went back to his house. He didn't bother turning the bedroom lights on as he walked inside and collapsed onto his bed.

He grabbed a book off his shelf and flipped through the pages before losing interest and putting it back on the shelf.

Things were really not working out the way he wanted them to.

Slowly, he got up and made his way into the kitchen. He wasn't really hungry, but it was dinner time and he figured he should make something anyway. Hopefully he'd feel more like eating it when he was finished making it.

Gray wandered the kitchen looking through the cupboards for something he might feel like eating.

He sighed and let the cupboard fall shut as he walked away, abandoning the idea to make some dinner.

The fact that Erza getting him to mention the fight with Natsu out loud made him feel a bit worse, despite how Erza seemed to believe Natsu wasn't holding any of it against him.

But really, that wasn't really the thing that was bothering him most. Either that or it was just because there were so many things...and he couldn't seem to find one way to just forget them and move forward like he often tried to do for things.

Erza's words from earlier echoed through his mind.

'But...please come to me if I can help you. You can't keep bottling everything up like this, Gray.'

I can hold it all in if I want to. Gray thought rebelliously.

But then he sighed. He'd been doing that since Tartaros, Avatar, Alvarez... So many times and so much lately. In fact, he was starting to wonder if he really knew what was bothering him the most.

...No...wait... He did. He did know. There was one thing, and that had to be it. The one thing that just wouldn't leave him alone. Something he hadn't expected to happen at all when he'd tried to cast Lost Iced Shell on Zeref...